October 26, 2011

Still here :-)

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. This is just a brief update. Why brief, UofA? Because I'm mentally and emotionally drained, and I am physically exhausted. That's why. :-)

Anyway so I am still waiting on my own apartment! The complex had one opening up the first of November then the lady calls and says, "You are going to hate me.". I was thinking, great. But alhamdulillah I was very polite to her. She made an error and it's going to be Dec. 1st before an apartment is available.

Oh my gracious, really? It's getting very stressful living here and there. I feel like we are homeless. My daughter needs a home, I need a home. It's getting difficult to live off the charity of friends. I mean alhamdulillah we are great houseguests. We cook and clean, are quiet, play well with others. :-) But it's just mentally hard. I like my own space, my own little piece of this world where I can have a modicum of peace and tranquility. Ya Allah I need that!

So I am also looking for a job. A very sweet sister has asked me to babysit her 2 week old baby for her. Yes 2 weeks old. She is here to finish her Ph.D and she must go back now. I feel so sad for her but I need the money and I really want to help them.

I kinda miss the days when I could do those things fi sabilillah! But now it's necessary to take money to help provide for my daughter. Pray this works out and that something more stable and better paying comes along. Amin. :-)

So what else can I whine about?? LOL I think that's it. I haven't been taking good care of myself though. When things are rough I am the one I forget about, trying to take care of everything else. Alhamdulillah. However, I am so overdue for an appointment with my nephrologist, I need a CT scan to check on placement and exact size of that pesky little stone, I need and encoscope AND a colonoscopy done. Yes joy joy, it's just another wonderful perk of being Jeanna. :-) Yay me. lol

I am keeping my spirits up pretty well; I have days where I think, "What can I do with $3 and a pocket of used tissue?" (Thanks to Ms. Aaminah's newfound allergies! lol). The answer is simple:

Nothing on my own. So it is supremely humbling to be in this situation again and I am trying to use it as a tool to remind me of all my blessings. Yeah we don't have a home... but we have so many wonderful friends and family who would let us stay with them. Yeah my van isn't here.... but my son has let me borrow his car since I've been here. I didn't have the money to bring my van here... then an online friend I've never met sent me $200 to pay the expenses of someone driving it down.

Subhanallah. The barakah, both big and small, we can find when we just look.

Please make dua for my family and I as we go through this difficult process of moving back to our home. I hope to start blogging again regularly but you know my motto... um well I've never really had a motto but I always try to not whine and I really super-try to not talk ill of another Muslim or say things they would prefer be left unsaid. That's why my blog has been a bit quite. I am sure you all understand.

So keep me in your duat and say a special prayer for Aaminah that Allah swt blesses and protects her, amin. :-)

Love you all fi sabilillah! Ma salaama...

October 6, 2011

And life goes on :-)

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. Soooo what's new with UofA? Wow really? I don't think I would have the time to go through it all. :-) So let's start at the top and one of the reasons my posting has been... nonexistant. :-)

My laptop broke. But... good news is A had purchased the extended warranty (which at the time I thought was wasteful) so I am getting it fixed but they had to send it off for repair. Thanks Geek Squad. :-) Anyway I'll have it back in a week or so insha'Allah. I've wanted to update but I hate using my friend's computer too much.

Another reason I've been absent so long is just waiting for things to calm down. I'm living with a friend (did I mentiont that?? I can't remember!) until my apartment is ready. It should be ready Nov. 1st. Insha'Allah! So I am really ready to be settled down, AGAIN, so I can get back into a normal routine.

Aaminah is missing her family in MA, miskeena little girl. She asked if her Baba was still her family. I said of course he is. She asked if she could live with him. I was almost devastated (except ok well she's 3 lol) but then she said, "Because I miss Basheq the cat". Masha'Allah how sweet children are. She really does miss them and I assured her that Baba and the kids are still her family but we had to move back to Tennessee.

She asked why they didn't come. Subhanallah, how her mind words. You can tell she's been thinking on this for a while. I hate to see her sad but alhamdulillah I think once we are living in our own apartment with her toys again, her books, etc., she will be more settled and happy. I mean right now she is having a ball! Friends all the time, trips to the masjid, having her family so close but still she is a little girl and misses what she knew.

Please make dua for her and for me that I can be both Mama and Baba for her. As yall know her Abi left her completely, has no contact, so she is, according to Islam, an orphan. Islamically a child without a father is considered an orphan; this has been hard for me to understand because with all of my children, I was the one who took care of them. Islamically that is also how the househole is ordered. Subhanallah this is a ruling of Allah's that I don't understand the basis for but accept it regardless.

Alright I have to go. Aaminah is reading a Toys r Us circular and picking out toys for baby Bilal, my friends baby. She says, "He is my little brother in Islam" masha'Allah. She has such a great accent masha'Allah when she says "Islam" and "Bilal" etc. May Allah help her grow to be a pious muslimah, a wonderful caring loving person, amin!