tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2480626322443867152.post269510445481480160..comments2021-04-10T02:16:14.639-04:00Comments on Ummi of Aami, muslimah mommy!: A sense of accomplishmentUmm Aaminahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16099550741683256476noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2480626322443867152.post-440513438817078882011-05-14T15:21:48.653-04:002011-05-14T15:21:48.653-04:00Salamz-
What happened to all the comments people ...Salamz-<br /><br />What happened to all the comments people left here?Halimahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15548934024115676017noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2480626322443867152.post-70228596258236182732011-05-14T06:54:47.133-04:002011-05-14T06:54:47.133-04:00Good work on the cleaning! That is always my probl...Good work on the cleaning! That is always my problem area, the house is so big, and open to all to catch the breezes(and dust, so much dust), that it is just so difficult to keep up with when it's just me.<br /><br />About the girls-do they wear simple shalwar kameez(maybe not the rhinestone encrusted ones)? I don't know if they would fit with your/your hubs modesty requirements, but before I started sewing my own, I found a couple of good deals on Ebay. Simple cotton, sometimes with a little embroidery. A couple were around $15(brand new!) for the three pieces, but you do have to search a bit, and be careful of some of the georgette ones(too sheer, and some don't come with chemises).<br /><br />I am assuming that they even would wear them, maybe I am just an old fogy with a really uncool fashion sense? ;-)Aishahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17060425681097652916noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2480626322443867152.post-2373841777237836012011-05-12T16:06:42.483-04:002011-05-12T16:06:42.483-04:00Bonnie, we only shop thrift/clearance/used unless ...Bonnie, we only shop thrift/clearance/used unless there is a compelling reason. :-) I even have some posts on here detailing $3.24 leather boots and clothing for Aaminah from Goodwill.<br /><br />However, it's hit and miss. I have to clothe 6 people; I can't go to the thrift store daily to look for what is in the right size, good shape, current fashion, AND modest. Oh plus seasonally correct. It makes me tired just thinking about it. I do go weekly to bi-weekly however, just to see what might be in. <br /><br />Actually got A a $90 pair of sandals for $8. Pretty good deal! Anyway, at my stepdaughters' ages it's just getting increasingly difficult to find modest clothes in any outlet. But especially for those of us who need or want to bargain shop.<br /><br />Halima, you hit on a valid point about them needing to learn how to clothe themselves. I'm just gonna be honest here. I don't have the energy. I've tried to have "teachable moments" with the girls but they end up acting foolish and not listening. It just wears me out. After trying to talk about this in so many creative, caring ways I just kinda get to the dictator mentality. <br /><br />We've had discussions about how to make an outfit more modest, how to fix it etc but it's the same thing again and again. I just can't fight the fight everyday. <br /><br />Thanks for all the comments ya'll. :-)Umm Aaminahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16099550741683256476noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2480626322443867152.post-2822595028676566412011-05-12T15:52:42.619-04:002011-05-12T15:52:42.619-04:00Maybe i'm missing something here but do you no...Maybe i'm missing something here but do you not use thrift stores at all? I feel like it's nearly the only place I can find modest clothing for my daughter (that I can ctully afford) everywhere else seems to sell only skinny jeans or tiny little skirts. Another great idea is to get all the sisters you know together to do a big swap as everyone has clothes they are just waiting to give away, we make a afternoon of it and all bring some food etcBonniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04992094230981699840noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2480626322443867152.post-57441773996022293492011-05-12T14:38:27.820-04:002011-05-12T14:38:27.820-04:00Salamz-
Just to add to what Banana Anne said: alt...Salamz-<br /><br />Just to add to what Banana Anne said: although abayas might seem a convenient solution for you and makes you as parents feel better, it might also cause the girls to resent you (you EVIL step-mother you!) and resent covering altogether- which isn't your aim.<br />Treat it as a challenge and involve them in it- look at it as an opportunity to get them to think about creative ways to cover and be resourceful, and a way to bond with you. After all, they need to learn to think about this for themselves and be pro-active. They will be faced with this challenge of finding appropriate clothing as Muslimas for the rest of their lives, long after Mum and Dad are there to guide them and force them.<br />Also- I don't know why Mums at the masjid don't pool together and share/exchange clothing that their kids have grown out of? That would be good, eh?<br />In the meantime- hunt out bargains and even check charity shops. But have fun with it, inshallah!Halimahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15548934024115676017noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2480626322443867152.post-22770599330895712962011-05-12T12:30:38.664-04:002011-05-12T12:30:38.664-04:00Anne, no you didn't cross the line. Anyt comme...Anne, no you didn't cross the line. Anyt comment, as long as it's respectful, doesn't bother me. I made my blog public, after all. :-)<br /><br />I totally understand your point and it's funny you had the same issue but backwards with wanting to dress MORE modestly. <br /><br />We don't want the girls to resent us but they cannot pick out their own clothes. This year at Target (for their ages/sizes) I can't find any modest clothing. Either it's too short, too light weight, or very flashy. Also Hafsa, the oldest, is 13 and really picky about clothes. It's just a difficult situation.<br /><br />I've been scouring ebay for some good maxi dresses but once again, unless I can get them to wear a cardigan of some type, the undershirts they wear are just too snug on their arms and the dress is always snug on the bust (most have elastic busts on the maxis.)<br /><br />I do want them to feel they have a personal sense of style but it has to meet our standards. It's really a difficult task. :-)<br /><br />HM, I loooong passed the phase where I allow myself to overdo it. Well, generally... lol<br /><br />Mona, I would love to be able to find exactly what you are talking about. I've found a few things on ebay; if I can get A's approval we'll be all set. :-D He's pretty old skool and his family is conservative as well so his understanding of what is allowable is different from what others might feel is ok. <br /><br />Insha'Allah we can find a balance. :-)Umm Aaminahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16099550741683256476noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2480626322443867152.post-27650238902795927692011-05-12T12:19:53.046-04:002011-05-12T12:19:53.046-04:00InshaAllah you feel well enough to do what you nee...InshaAllah you feel well enough to do what you need to do. I need to do a huge Spring cleaning, you're motivating me. <br /><br />I've seen long skirts at eastessence.com for 25-30$ not really cheap but cheaper. Maxi dresses with cardigans could work too and I know you are deal/sale savvy so inshaAllah you find stuff that works and is easy on the wallet. <br /><br />Oh yea, I love my alone time too, I sacrifice sleep for it.:)Mona Zenhomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17881961590047177174noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2480626322443867152.post-3328861433864598142011-05-12T11:58:38.383-04:002011-05-12T11:58:38.383-04:00Oh, I just love the feeling of getting things done...Oh, I just love the feeling of getting things done! Just be careful not to overdo it! <br /><br />Insha'allah your shopping venture is successful!HijabiMommyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09431302057548461386noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2480626322443867152.post-15261867603545289292011-05-12T11:51:34.806-04:002011-05-12T11:51:34.806-04:00You're in luck: Target has a ton of long dress...You're in luck: Target has a ton of long dresses and long skirts being sold now; some of the dresses are as cheap as $15! For wide-legged pants, look in the business/work section; you can find straight-cut, loose trousers there that look really classy. <br />One thing, though: do you let your stepdaughters pick out their own clothes? I'm not sure how old they are (you said they're old enough to wear hijab), but if they're teenagers they might not like their parents shopping for them. I would also be careful deciding for them that they're only going to wear abayas from now on, because they might resent them. It seems like they know what clothes are hijab-friendly, so I think it would be great if they got to pick out their own clothes while shopping. Teenagers love to be independent, and clothes are a vital part of asserting their independence in a halal way. <br /><br />I apologize if this is too overbearing/crossing the line, especially because I don't know them or you. I just know that clothing is very important to young women, and parents dictating beyond reason what you wear might make them resentful. When I was in high school and eager to dress as close to hijab-friendly as possible (without the khimar part), my mom didn't let me. She hated the fact that I wore long sleeves all the time, and she literally forbade me from wearing long skirts more than twice a week. Even now when I go visit them, I have to put away my skirts and jilbabs (and khimar, obviously) to not upset them. Needless to say, I was very bitter about this, and still kind of am.Banana Annehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05199135544354929727noreply@blogger.com