Ummi of Aami, muslimah mommy!

Gratitude, it isn't just a word

2012-01-15T23:03:00.000-05:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. So I like to think of myself as a grateful slave. I noticed I sure say it often enough. Guess in case no one is really paying attention. "Yes my life is hard, I work xx hours a week, I'm a single mom, BUT look how grateful I am???" Cue picture of me smiling, baking cookies with Aaminah.

OK so to cut me just a bit of slack I seriously try to cultivate a grateful attitude but I realized tonight how seriously lacking I truly was.

Aaminah vomited. Not really sick just an upset stomach. Normally, as a seasoned mother of 3, it ain't gonna phase me. A little puke, a lotta puke, whatev right? Well let's factor in my xx hour work week ;-) and the fact I don't have a washer and dryer in my apartment (making a late night laundry load impossible) and it becomes a big deal quick.

So I'm feeling a bit stressed and a lot crapped upon. Yes I'm gonna admit it. Today would have been the one day I had free to actually get to a laundro-mat to do the wash and now it's bedtime and little mama is exhausted. So what do I do??

Make dua? Call a friend and ask for help?

Nope. I facebook!

:-(

I post: "Aaminah vomited all over our bed. Worst part? No time til next Sunday to get to laundromat as I haven't gotten a washer and dryer yet. Alhamdulillah. (Praise God in all things.)

Yes look I me! I tacked on that "alhamdulillah" lest someone think I am ungrateful. I even translate it so my non-Muslim friends can get in on the action and admire how, even in the face of puked-on, stinky laundry, I can still praise ALLAH in all things.

So I roll up the offending pile of covers and re-make our futon (still waiting on those movers!) and settle down. Can't sleep yet, make dua???

Nope, check facebook.

And wow. Honestly I am crying right now. I had 6 people offer to wash them for me. All my bestest of best friends, my closest family members right???

Wrong. How about my middle school (daaaaang UofA, how long ago was THAT??? 27 yrs ya'll) English teacher and a friend from my school days, a sister I know at the masjid but am not tight friends with and a few others.

Wow, it was such a humbling thing. So I post something about how can I complain about ANYTHING when I have so many who would drive so far (an hour!) to pick up my dirty laundry, wash it, and return it???

My dearest sisters, Allah is truly merciful. We sit here and we feel alone and we struggle and we do our best and we fail. Yes we fail, not just in these earthly endeavors but we fail in our responsibilities to our Creator and what do we get in return?

Blessings past counting. That's what I get and it awes and amazes and humbles me. I cannot fathom the love Allah, the Creator of the WORLDS, the Merciful, the All-Powerful, has for me, His most imperfect of creations, that I should be so blessed in so many ways.

My lesson learned tonight was true gratitude and how to fully experience a humbleness of spirit that uplifted me.

So let's all say "alhamdulillah!" and mean it.

Ma salaama ya'll. :-)

On being a working mom

2012-01-10T22:45:00.000-05:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. As you know I've joined the ranks of millions of other American women: I am a single working mother, struggling to pay the bills, spend time with my children, deal with the enormous amount of guilt I voluntarily shoulder, and trying to balance it all out. Add to that being a striving Muslimah with marriage plans and you have a recipe for overload.

I hate it. I love it. Does that make sense? I feel sooo grateful to Allah swt that He lead me to this job. I feel grateful I can support my daughter and myself. It's nice to be useful and respected in a workplace, most of us like to have the support and comraderie of our colleagues.

I hate it. I hate leaving Aaminah (even though with friends!) for me to go out to work. I cried when she said, "I don't like mamas to work. I don't need you to buy me clothes or food!". Subhanallah. How children, as always, distill a thing to its purest essence.

My stance has not changed: mothers should raise their children. Sometimes we can't. :-( But we should and we should do everything in our power to be there for them. Sisters, please, I am not judging you. I am simply looking at how Allah swt created us. Who carries and bears the baby? The woman. Who historically looks after, nurtures, and teaches it? The woman. Fathers have their place, they are just as invaluable but in a different way.

We are told heaven is at the feet of your mother. Not because she worked and slaved in the outside world to put food on the table or clothes on your back (although if she did that as well you dang well better be loving on her now!!!!) but because she carried us in hardship and bore us in pain and raised us and taught us and loved us. Unconditionally.

So maybe some of us didn't get that but nowhere does Allah say "Respect your mothers if they were perfect". We are instructed to treat them with respect and be obedient as long as they do not ask us to do the haram. Khalas. That's it.

I'm hoping my children, despite my myriad of faults and all the times I haven't been there to "make it all better", will love and respect me. I pray they will make dua for me after I am dead and beseech Allah for mercy, forgiveness and Jannat-al-fidous for me, amin! I pray they can forgive my shortcomings and know that, no matter what, my heart was with them even when I myself wasn't.

And I pray for Allah swt to bless my provisions, help me maintain a grateful and humble spirit, and allow me to again be a full-time mama to my little sweetie. Amin!!!

I'm baaaaaack!

2012-01-08T00:45:00.000-05:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll! Wow, I've been on quite a break. :-) Welll a lot has happened since we last "spoke", dear readers, so let me catch ya'll up.

I am in my apartment alhamdulillah. Actually moved in the weekend before Christmas which was really difficult to get everything settled but alhamdulillah it did (somehow!) all fall into place. Oh wait I think a list is in order, otherwise I'll forget. OK so here we :

1. Moved into apartment. Yeah, touched on that. ;-) Aaminah and I are officially in our own place. We have been SOOOO blessed to have such lovely friends who allowed us to stay with them and treated us like their own families. Well better actually ;-) lol. We really tried to be good houseguests and were clean and neat and helpful but it was still, I am sure, a huge stress on the 2 families which housed us. May Allah swt shower His blessings on them, amin!

2. I got internet. Alhamdulillah! Ya'll know I like to stay in-touch so this was really important for me. However I had some issues getting the cable guy out to "git-er-done" so a very helpful friend (thanks!!!!) suggested I try tethering my mobile phone to use it as a mobile hot-spot. Worked a charm! However in US this isn't free (wouldn't you know!) so I am paying an extra $15 a month but that is so much less than normal internet (like half-price) and so far, my connection is great. In this corner anyway but alhamdulillah.

3. Which brings us to money which brings us to my job. :-) Alhamdulillah. I was working babysitting for the sister but it was not enough money. Now I am working as an office manager for a tax office (a brother owns it masha'allah) and he had no issue with how I dress. I have been in charge of training new-hires (well everyone as it's a new office) and getting the office up and running for tax season. Subhanallah it's been quite a task but I do have experience. I worked at H&R Block for 3 tax seasons as a receptionist and accouting assistant and also did taxes ~~on the sly~~ on the side ;-) for the past 2 years in Massachusetts.

I am salaried which means during the busiest time (from now til Feb. 20th) I'll be working 7 days a week, 10 hours a day (minimum). I am of course not happy about that but agreed as the brother really needs my help and I need the money. So for that time period the money isn't awesome per-hour but later I get a 2 week paid vacation :-) (wonder where UofA will be headed?????) and then I will only work 25 to 30 hours a week through the remainder. So no, it isn't permanent (it's taxes, ya'll) but it's sooo helpful. Insha'Allah He blesses my provisions and allows me to do everything that is needful with it, amin.

4. My stuff. Oh my goodness. This is an entire post in it's own but to be frank, I'm tired of the drama. We hired movers, you see, to move my stuff from MA to TN. I went online, got several quotes from one website and went with the lowest. They arrived to get my things and, after loading it all, informed A that he had to pay another $1000. Yes not a typo, an extra $1000. Of course we didn't have it nor did we intend to pay it. They said I had too much stuff.

Yeah fair enough, I can see I wasn't as thorough as I should have been in recounting my apartment contents but not on purpose. I had given them a list of what to pack. So I aksed the driver, what happened to my list? And he said, oh I packed all the extra THEN packed the list stuff. Uh huh. So I said ok take off what wasn't on my list and he said can't it's behind all your other stuff and I'm not doing it.

OK. So I tell him to unload the truck and leave everything. He flat refuses and tells me he is taking my stuff to a warehouse in New Jersey and I'll have to speak with the business owners.

This was December 15th. Subhanallah. Finally I agreed to pay the extra but I couldn't get it how they wanted; they decided cash only and I refused as there is no way to trace that and they have been so fraudulent. They refused to take a credit card. Wha...???? They took it for the deposit so what's up now???

Anyway I talk to the lady once a week approx and I tell her the same thing, I'm willing to pay your extra amount but $650 on credit card and $350 cash when it's delivered. She keeps putting me off. All of my personal effects, furniture, my clothes even, are there. I've bee living off the 2 abaya I brought for my 2 week visit in September. Subhanallah. I try not to stress about it because I can literally do nothing. The government entity which oversaw this was closed (guess so they could put more FBI agents in masajid) so there is literally 1 person to field complaints.

For the entire US. Subhanallah.

Anyway please make dua I get my things soon. We are sleeping on a futon (ouch!) and have no furniture. Alhamdulillah a kind sister did give me an old recliner so I am not sitting to type. :-) All my clothes and Aaminahs, winter coats and gloves and boots for her, all in storage. Subhanallah. These people are crooks. So beware East and West Movers from Hoboken, New Jersey.

OK so I'm really tired. I wanted to include pics of my new place but tooo exhausted. Insha'allah next time.

Note to self: please dont sit in a moveable rocker/recliner when typing. Your vertigo WILL kick in. :-)

Love, me.

Nationalism and Islam

2011-12-12T23:42:00.002-05:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. So this question started floating around in my head a bit today. What does it mean to be American? How do we define that? Does it mean our blood flows red, white and blue? Does it mean we strive to uphold the ideals of "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness"?

I don't think it means any of that. To be American means, simply, that you were born in this country. There are millions of Americans incarcerated; untold numbers who are pedophiles, child abusers, drunkards, and wife-beaters. There are red-blooded Americans who still believe in apartheid on the most basic level and would see the majority of our population ruled by the very distinct minority. (Oh wait, it already is, my bad. LOL).

Please, before my detractors get all riled up, I believe there are many more good, kindhearted, open-minded people in America than there are from the above groups. I am just making a point. :-)

So if by definition, being American simpy means you were born into this society/culture or accepted as a citizen (after testing and payments and hardships, btw) what is there to be so proud about?

Mahatma Ghandi (among others) said, "A nation's greatness is measured by how it treats it's weakest members". If we look at the track record of almost any nation that was ever in existence and judge them by this standard, it would be disheartening to say the least. None should be "proud" to be called from any nation.

This is why in Islam we are taught to turn from nationality and turn to Allah. To turn to the teachings of our prophets and messengers, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon them all! We are encouraged to love and want for our brother or sister what we want for ourselves. To love what Allah loves and hate what He hates.

Even in the last sermon of our beautiful Prohet Muhammad (saws) he said:

"All mankind is from Adam and Huwa, an Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab nor a non-Arab has any superiority over an Arab; also a white has no superiority over black nor a black has any superiority over white except by piety and good action. Learn that every Muslim is a brother to every Muslim and that the Muslims constitute one brotherhood.

How beautiful, how clear are these words, these commands. We are to feel NO superiority over another unless it is in our good deeds and piety. Which, btw, a Mu'min never feels he is pious enough nor good enough in his deeds. As Cap'n recently related to me:

"He (Imam Malik) was the man about whom Ash-Shafi’ee said, 'When scholars are mentioned, Malik is like the star among them.' Malik said that he did not sit to give Fatwa, before 70 of the Madina scholars first witnessed to his competence in doing so."

Subhanallah, Imam Malik, who had more knowledge than you or I can comprehend, refused to consider himself knowledgeable, a scholar, a shaykh, until 70 of his peers felt him to be so. Just a little dose of reality for you all, my friends. :-)

It is narrated by Abu Da’wud that the Messenger of Allah (saaw) said:

“He is not one us who calls for ..Asabiyyah, (nationalism/tribalism) or who fights for ..Asabiyyah or who dies for ..Asabiyyah.”

This does not mean we cannot be proud of the good actions of our country. If you live in a place where Muslims are accepted and allowed to practice freely, be proud of that. If you happen to be of a certain ancestry and you like to learn about your history or past customs, there is no problem. What this hadith means is that we do not place our nationalism ahead of our religion. (Even the sahaba had names which indicated their country of ancestry such as Salman Al-Farsi for example.)

"My prayers and sacrifice, my life and death are all for Allah, Lord of all the Worlds" (Qur'an 6:162). There is no clearer injunction that our lives, in totality, are to be lived for the glory of Allah swt.

So we can see as Muslims we are to turn away from nationalism, to be proud only of the good deeds we do FI SABILILLAH. I wish more people in this world, non-Muslims and Muslim alike, would strive to be good people, not good nationalists.

Ma salaama ya'll.

Introducing the newest member...

2011-12-06T21:03:00.000-05:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. Sorry I just can't get into the hang of updating again. Before, I had a very ordered life and writing was a very important outlet for me. Now I feel like I stay busier but in happier ways (not as frantic as before) and my desire to write has dropped off by the wayside.

By the way, if any of ya'll are staticians, you would see this correlates nicely with my "love" life by which I mean married life. :-) When I am single I am so busy taking care of EVERYTHING I don't have the luxury of sitting around, thinking about the world's problems. :-) Once that area of my life gets settled, I always have much more free time.

And what is your status, UofA? Well now isn't that the million dollar question. I hate hate hate hate hate (ok not really so strongly) when people suggest and hint at things but never spill the beans so to speak. So I shall endeavor to keep my openness and transparency alive and well.

I can't say. :-))

Oh that's funny. OK yes alhamdulillah I am engaged. I am not asking for advice or support in this issue, dear readers. It's done and dusted as the English say and I'm all set (my nod to Massachusetts speak). I have made my selection carefully and will, in due course, update you all. I thank my reader who very sincerely have her advice that I concentrate on my daughter and my life, finding a way to support ourselves sans husband.

I've done that, for most of my life actually. I've never been married long enough to feel stable alhamdulillah. I no longer feel like I have to prove anything, to myself or the rest of the world. As a Muslim woman, I am entitled to have a husband or other mahrem who will take care of myself and Aaminah. But sisters, I do not mean simply financially. I mean emotional support. That kind that comes from the male of our species. :-) Someone to hold my hand and kiss my forehead, someone to take bugs out of the house *s* and to snuggle up with when watching a movie.

More importantly, someone to grow in my deen with, to encourage and be encouraged, to love and honor and respect, to have someone to take care of again. Oh how I miss that! Yes I take care of little Aaminah and others but it's just... different with your husband. It fulfills a part of me and makes me indescribably happy. Making that post-fajr tea or preparing a favorite dish; what can I say, I am a nurturer to the nth degree and I am happy being this way. :-)

However in the past I have nurtured others and ignored myself. I will definitely be looking for more balance this time, someone who can baby and be babied and yes, sisters, I need that too. To be treated sweetly, like a glass vessel masha'Allah. How perfect is all of Allah's creation and how beautifully he has made us for one another. I still trust and believe in this sisters, despite it all, because of it all. :-)

I love my sisters in Islam, I love my community, I love my family, my children. I am blessed beyond compare but I, like so many others, want what I do not have. For me, my holy grail is a good marriage, stable, with a loving, kind, funny, affectionate, practicing brother. I have amended my definition a bit as I have gotten older of what makes a great husband. I use to want the whole package; how tiring, looking for something that doesn't exist. :-) I cannot be everything, I can just be me. I can't expect more than that of my brothers, now can I?

So what am I doing different this time? Personal references baby from someone who reallly knows the person. It's very nice for the imam to give a good reference as I got for A but that doesn't really tell you what the person is like outside of the masjid, in a home setting, when we are bad-tempered or sick. So my very best friend Um Bilal is married and her husband is a wondeful person masha'Allah. His best friend of 13+ years was introduced to me and I am pleased to say that the brother has been everything I was told he was.

Now, here is where the full-disclosure ends. Abu B's friend is a very private sort of person. I have of course already directed him to my blog to find out how I feel about everything from refrigerated hashbrowns to matters of our ummah. So he is aware I have this space and I write in it. After marriage, my content might change depending on what he is comfortable with. Of course I am hoping certain things will still be ok with him but as I've never been particularly private I definitely want to make him comfortable.

I do however, have a photo of him I snapped today that I would love to share. Enjoy!

Yes it's not really him, my new man isn't made from legos. :-) But he is a pirate (we'll call him Cap'n) and he is from the Caribbean and other than that, I must keep mum. Insha'allah post wedded-bliss, we will see what transpires. I hope to keep you all updated on my life and times, my sads and happies and always always always my striving to be a better muslimah, wife, mother, friend and human being. :-)

And...yet again

2011-11-22T23:22:00.000-05:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. So I think I've mentioned on here I haven't been hired by a non-Islamic entity since becoming Muslim. Yes some people have no problem but they either A) have a very advanced degree or B) cover in a less traditional manner. Or both but .... anyway. :-)

So I had applied for a job at a call center type place. Decent pay (much better than my babysitting job!) and I could work part-time which is important for me to have time with Aaminah. I did the data entry, typing, call center etiquette and another test online. My scores were excellent far above average (they give your results immediately).

The lady from the staffing company called me the next day, gushing about my scores. "Well if that's your off-day, I would love to see a good day!" is what she said in response to my comment on my data entry score. Alhamdulillah. I went to meet her and yes, I wore my brown abaya, black khimar, black pants and black shoes. I am friendly, clean, well-spoken, articulate and intelligent. I am also a covering muslimah. And? No bearing on the job. It's halal, answering calls for doctors' offices all over the country. I do not have to have close interactions with anyone (which means really non-mahrem) so I was very happy. Also close to home. Wow, great.

Yeah, you know there is a catch right? Today I get the following email:

Jeanna,

Good afternoon. I so enjoyed meeting you last week, so thank you for your time in the interview and the computer testing.

I wanted to update you on the ___________ assignment. Unfortunately, you were not selected for the assignment. However, I'm working on some exciting other opportunities (new clients) that I think you might be interested in, but it will take some time. I have you registered with us now, so I can give you a call when we get a little closer. And of course, please feel free to check back with me as well.

Thank you,

__ ______________, PHR
__________, President
_____ _________ ________
Knoxville, TN 37922
Office: 865-xxx-xxxx
Cell: 865-xxx-xxxx
www.dontcomeifyouaremuslim.com

Hmmmm. Well, alrighty then. Honestly, I just said "Alhamdulillah" and went on. Surprised? Yeah a bit. She really liked me (or seemed to) and I know, before covering, I would have had that job like nobody's business. Let's be honest, the job is not beneath me but it's far beneath what I am capable of. I told her I really needed the job and could be very flexible.

Nothing else makes sense except my religion. Muslim=unemployed here. OK sorry, let's go back. MuslimAH muhajabat = unemployed. As I said, I have seen some muhajabat with jobs here but they are more trendy, mainstream, a bit more current in their fashion. I really thought (silly me) that my personality and my qualifications would help me land the job.

Alhamdulillah. :-) I am learning many lessons in humility and trusting in the qadr of Allah. I will continue to do my best, to strive, but when it falls away at the end, still praise Him for it all.

May Allah swt make it easy on my family and I. Amin.

Into the info age (LG mytouch Q)

2011-11-18T20:25:00.000-05:00

Mine is a really pretty muted purple color. Yay me! Um ignore the website above; where I got the pic from :-)

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. So I felt I was fairly tech-savvy until the time my son offered to set up a Jitterbug (simplistic phone designed for the 55+ set) for me. I realized, yikes, I'm becoming obsolete!

OK so I wasn't too worried about it. I liked the mobile phone I had (I posted on here about it before). It had a slide-out keyboard I really like as I am a fairly prolific texter. It was internet-capable but I never used it. Small screen and slow speeds = no reason. Plus I like my laptop.

Well all this changed when my phone broke. :-( I really was happy with it and stressed when it broke because I am broke too! :-) It stopped charging and I took it in to be looked at and they told me (a bit condescendingly) that this model has been discontinued and I just needed a new phone. :-)

I had my contract over 2 years so I was eligible for a free upgrade. I really didn't want a smartphone, and Android platform pocket computer. :-) I just wanted a nice phone with a pull-out keyboard, for free. Well that dream didn't happen but they did have the brand new LG mytouch Q smartphone. Subhanallah. I didn't know what to do with it and still don't partially! I'll just give ya'll a rundown of the features I kind of understand. :-))

You can email, text, update facebook, shop, watch tv, download immense time wasters (games), and about 50 others things. Oh yeah, you can call too I've heard. LOL It has a 5mp camera on it (not stellar but nice and especially as my camera recently bit the dust, I am happy with it). It also has a pull-out keyboard which was the selling point for me.

I told the guy I didn't want a smart phone or internet access. I really do prefer my laptop (where I am now) I tried once to update blogger thru the phone and I just got annoyed as things like capitalization and other functions work differently. Anyway it has turned out to be kind fun as I can check email from anywhere and email photos. I have updated fb once from it as well. Look at me. :-)

So I guess I am far away from needing a Jitterbug as my son threatened. I might not understand or even use all of the awesome features but I have them. :-)) As for what I want, it texts nice and has a touch screen which is fun. I have downloaded a couple of games that Aaminah might play with if we are stuck somewhere. It can also take videos which I can forsee enjoying in the future. :-)

As for price, well... I didn't wanna spend anything. But I did have to pay $100 with a $50 rebate which ohfortheloveofpete I haven't sent in yet!!!!!!!! I'll do that tonight insha'allah. I really want my $50 back. :-)

It seems a big sluggish sometimes, like taking a moment to turn off a call or go from one screen to another. At other times it's pretty fast and I am not knowledgeable enough about theses issues to say if it's my fault or if the phone should be faster or if this is just what it's capable of. I'll let ya'll know.

Oh I was saying I didn't really want an internet-capable phone but it is nice when you get lost and need GPS directions or a phone number. Sometimes you realize you need to get access to an email and that is nice too. However this was the only phone with a pull out keyboard that I liked the layout. The other was too scrunched up and tiny, it wasn't good for my texting.

Other cons: I seem to hit this one hand-free button often (it's a touchscreen so really easy) and it's always popping up. Also there are only like 4 cases for it right now as it just came out this month. I am really worried I'll drop it and scratch it but there are not enough options for me to be interested in getting a case yet. That's all I can think of for now. :-)

So I've been thrust, albeit unwillingly, into the full-blown information age. How many of ya'll have smartphones/iphones and love it? Hate it? Wonder why we have to always be connected?? Let me know.

Ma salaama ya'll...

Just some pictures

2011-11-17T21:58:00.000-05:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. I found some old photos online and wanted to share them. Hope ya'll enjoy!

Alex with Cookie, our friends' dog.

Alex and Aaminah :-)

Just a swangin'

Gooby Zack. Have I posted this one before?? It's classic Zack. :-)

King of the Moutain. :-) My little mountaineer

A rare "snow storm" for E. Tennessee. LOL

Love the expression!

Rare pic of Zack with Nova. :-) Alex was the dog boy.

Zack and his friends. Yes, all girls. LOL

Oh my, yes I had both a nose ring and an eyebrow ring. Whilst rockin' the al-amira hijab. LOL LOL LOL This was taken at my job at the time.

The tiny garden I was inordinately proud of. lol We had a praying mantis that lived in it. One day she apparently fell victim to the landscaping guys' weedeater and the little neighborhood kids came to me, "Miss Jeanna, Miss Jeanna! Your little buddy is dead". I liked to teach them about nature. :-)

To work or not to work...

2011-11-08T09:19:00.000-05:00

Really, there's no question. :-) A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. UofA has found herself in a weird position: having to work again! Gasp! OK before any of you "get off your lazy butt" kinda people chime in you should know being a homemaker is a FULL TIME JOB. There was many a day I would have (almost) switched places and gone to work. There you do your time, clock out, khalas.

A mama never rests. Cooking, shopping, cleaning, laundry, ok yeah fair enough. Oh wait schedule and ferry to doctor appointments, Islamic school/religious education, trips to the park or for a walk. Don't forget you need to get more supplies (shopping again!) and referee in the all-too-frequent spats which occur with alarming frequency.

This is just an easy day, ya'll. :-) And my day lasted from fajr to well past isha. Yes, get off my lazy behind indeed!!! lol

Now however, I must seek employment to provide for myself and little Feisty One. :-) Most places are not very muhajabat-friendly and I cannot say I blame them. Given the choice between me (nice person, competent, intelligent) and someone who fits in with society in general... well businesses are there to make money right? :-) So I tried my Islamic school where I used to work as a preschool teacher but alhamdulillah 2 months into the year they of course have their positions filled. :-)

I realllly wanted my old job back as admin at my masjid. Yes it was a paying positiong but my opportunity to do good for my community was immense. I loved it! Alhamdulillah the previous admin had just left which boded well for me.

Except... a member of our Shura board felt our community didn't really need an admin. Oh woe is me! So of course insha'Allah it might change but I am not banking on something to happen that might not. So I have found a position babysitting.

My problem with it however is that the pay is ultra-low: $4 an hour. :-( I want to help out the sister and her family but as I only work about 3-4 hours a day, well you can do the math. Plus it's in the middle of the day so it's almost impossible to do anything else. My whole day taken up for $12. :-)

Now I have one other issue which is making me have doubts. They are masha'allah very neat and their home sparsely furnished. In the room we mostly stay in Aaminah plays with 2 blue bean bag chairs. Of course I bring some toys for her. Anyway when we arrived yesterday the sister tells Aaminah very nicely, "Your job today is to be very neat and not make a mess".

I'm thinking, WTHeck, we take all of our toys home and other than that, there is only 2 bean bag chairs and 2 little stuffed bears. The sister goes on to tell me her husband is VERY particular about their home and doesn't like it messed up.

I was offended, sisters. I am very careful when in someone else's home. I always insist Aaminah behave and clean up after herself and I assist her. I knew we never left a mess here! Then I noticed the bean bag chairs are always in the EXACT same position, pushed down in the middle, pushed down a bit on the top, so the rest is fluffed out fully. The little bears are on opposite sides of the masjid clock and always at the same angle.

Oooooh now I see. Subhanallah. So I always put things back in their place but I never did those things. And sisters, do not judge me harshly, I will not. I will not put a chair back, and push it down, and plump the sides and tilt a stuffed bear at an exact angle. I am doing them a service and I do not want to feel like my daughter is viewed as a messy girl simply because they have very exacting standards.

I really don't know what to do now. It isn't fair to Aaminah, yesterday I was so worried about her bothering these things. I don't want them to feel we are messing up their things but I don't want my daughter to feel stressed nor myself.

Subhanallah. Also there is the issue of transportation. My van is still in MA and I was borrowing my son's car. So I am currently without transportation. :-( The sister said she would pick me up and bring me as it's only 5 minutes to her house, jazaki Allahu khair.

Then yesterday she calls and says her husband needs to get me. I said, "Sister, I am not comfortable". She seemed surprised and a bit offended so, realizing if I were to every take a taxi, I would be in a car with a man, I agreed but unhappily and she said she would be the one to do it afterwards. She did bring me home yesterday.

Now she just called and said the baby wasn't being happy and her husband will come again!!! Subhanallah. I am very unhappy. I made my position known yesterday. I felt they thought I was being a bit ridiculous and now, because I agreed yesterday, I didn't know how to say no today. I am very unhappy right now and Allah forgive me if I am speaking out of turn. I think I will have to make some changes but, as small as my payment, I need that money and I don't really know what to do otherwise.

Please make du'a for me and ask Allah swt to make my way clear and help me to trust in His provisions, amin.

'Eid Festivities!

2011-11-06T18:09:00.000-05:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. As most of you know, I am a pretty visual blogger. Alas, my camera is still not in working order. I am gonna try to get the lens cleaned but we will have to see. I really miss having photos to post on here. :-(

Anyway 'Eid Mubarak/Kareem to all my Muslim friends and family!!! I hope you all had a blessed day full of frienship, fun, food, and worship! My favorite part, hands down, is the takbiraat. I cannot say what it is that draws me in so but I really hate to miss that. Alhamdulillah I made it in time today and very much enjoyed raising my voice with others in praise to Allah swt.

My 'Eid preparations started yesterday. I went to the masjid to help decorate it; we had an iftar for those who fasted the day of 'Arafat, may Allah swt accept their fasts, amin. I tried to help decorate and set up at the Islamic academy for the 'Eid breakfast but I got very sick with a horrible headache and was in bed for the entire day. :-( I missed the iftar at the masjid which I was so looking forward to as I was not present for Ramadhan. Insha'Allah next year. :-)

After prayer which was held in the local convention center, we went to our community's Islamic school on the other end of town for 'Eid breakfast. Alhamdulillah it was very nice, crowded of course, and cold! Brrrrrr! Maybe in the mid 40s and most of the tables were set up outside. The inside of the school commons isn't large enough for 400+ people and we all know the mess that accompanies a large crowd. Alhamdulillah after the sun came up more fully it warmed up nicely.

Around 12:30 pm we left for the 'Eid picnic. A local family has hosted this picnic for several years; there are hundreds of attendees masha'allah! Really I love seeing our community out in force, celebrating the Hajj and the sacrifice Ibrahim (a.s.) was willing to make. There was food, games, and just socializing in general. I enjoyed it but Aaminah is at the age where the older girls love to take her off and play with her. I have no worries; Muslim girls (in general) know how to take care of children and love to spend time with them. Girls and boys alike; it really warms my heart to see it. :-)

Anyway most of my time was spent roaming around looking for her. I know she is safe but I like to see her ocassionally too. LOL Silly mama huh? Anyway she had a good time but we were more than ready to go by 4:00 pm. She was exhausted and I was tired of trying to keep tabs on her in a HUGE crowd.

Aaminah did get a few gifts alhamdulillah. We do not stress gifts but it is a beautiful and joyous part of 'Eid. I just don't want it to be her sole focus. So I bought her a "I can be a child care-giver" Barbie. She wanted this so bad and do you know why??? Because the tiny baby Barbie holds really drinks and pees. It just excited Aaminah to no end!! lol So I got that for her. My friend Sr. Deanna (who I am staying with right now) bought her 2 or 3 gifts, masha'allah tabarakallah, another sweet sister bought her a super-fun game, and a friend's Baba gave her $10. Woo-hoo rich girl! ;-)

Alhamdulillah we had a good day overall. I am grateful for beautiful friends, both near and far, new and old. :-) I am grateful for a lovely 'Eid with my sweet little girl Aaminah. I am grateful to Allah swt for everything in my past, the circumstances of my present, and the hope for my future. :-)

I pray you all had a joyous celebration whether alone or with the company of others. I pray for all of the Muslims around the world, that Allah swt blesses and protects them, amin!

And yet again...

2011-11-04T21:39:00.000-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum. I received another couple of comments from an anon. I wouldn't repost it here except they cast aspersions on my ex-husband A. So it made me think, if one person feels this way maybe others do as well. So I have decided to post our comments here.

Anonymous said...

thats why you should never consider leaving these awesome countries you are born in for some muslim country where even their citizens don't have rights. btw i was born and raised in a muslim country and moved to usa. i found this country gives me freedom to practice whatever i want to practice much better than my muslim majority country.

coolred blog is an example why should you not leave your country or marry a foreigner.

Umm Aaminah said...

Anon, I am not sure where your comment came from. I do enjoy the rights and priveleges that I have as an American citizen. I do not agree with US foreign policy on almost all issues, however.

As for moving to a Muslim majority country or marrying a "foreigner" that is purely up to each individual. I love to travel and would love to be able to visit more countries. I prefer to live in my own. Many sisters are very happy living overseas and I am happy for them. Many are also happy with their foreign-born husbands.

Although A and I divorced, he was never anything but kind and respectful to me. I wish him the best in this life and the next, amin.

Apparently this did little to soothe Anon's worry for me. Next I received:

Anonymous said...

ok then why did he divorce you? why did you have to leave his house with no money? why is he not paying you now?

So here is my reply, not being posted to the comment box:

As I stated, A has been nothing but kind to me. Yes I left with no money but that was of my own volition. Although I am sure it is none of your business, he is paying my relocation fees upwards of $1000. He is in NO way obligated to do so; he is merely doing it because I am his sister in Islam.
Also he has packed up all of my belongings and moved them to storage until my apt is ready to move into here. Once again, only fi sabilillah.

Our marriage ended because of personal issues which had NOTHING to do with our shared religion. We both have faults and I will not detail any of his here although mine I frequently admit to.
A wife is to hold a husband's secrets and that pertains even after divorce. Therefore anything about A is no one else's business.

He is not obligated to pay me anything. I left our home of my own desire. I requested khula which he assented to due to the issues we jointly had. Khula is where the woman is able to request separation and it involves (usually) the foreiture of the mahr. I've written about it on here before. We partly amicably and with sadness as well.

He was never anything but kind, courteous, and appreciative of anything I ever did for him. He treated me as a cherished wife, friend, and advisor. Divorce will not change my opinion of him and I pray Allah swt gives him the best, amin.

I hope that answers your questions!

ResMed S9, my new love!

2011-11-03T01:28:00.000-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. So I think I am done with my enforced hiatus.:-) Really it's one of those things where they longer you go without it, the less you miss it. I write because I want to or I have something I think might benefit others, not because I have a quote to fill. I've been through quite a few changes alhamdulillah and now I am getting to a place where I can just "be" again.

Still waiting on the apartment, mid-Dec. the lady said. Oh please hurry and come!!! I hate to wish my life away but it's difficult being so unsettled. Insha'allah soon that will be rectified. I try to keep everything in perspective.

I've also been thinking if I should change the tone of my blog. Not the overall flavor; I mean after all it's just a mish-mash of what's in my mind at the moment. But rather the amount of information I share. I did think about it but decided I am totally comfortable with the things I share about my life. I do try to give some anonymity to others whose paths cross mine but at the end of the day this is my little place to be me. So I'm gonna do just that.

It's 1 am and what's on my mind? Sleep! Sleep! It's become a precious commodity lately, if you couldn't tell. (Um because I am up so late.) I don't know what my problem is but it's just been hard for me to go to bed earlier. Than I kinda pass the window of opportunity and I sit here, awake. Good for the blog, bad for the me. :-)

Oh btw dinner kinda by-passed me tonight (Yeah don't really know what happned but a big cup of hot chocolate with real whipped cream was involved!) So I sit here now, eating from a bag of Great Value (Wal-Mart brand) Harvest Vegetable baked crisp snacks. Wow, that's a mouthful. The name, not referrring to any lack of manners on my part. Hmm they are pretty good just wish I had a diet coke in my room. Ahh well, have to have something to get up for tomorrow, right?

Ah yes, sleep, sorry I even confused myself with the crisp snack tangent. I just got a new sleep machine (CPAP or continuous positive air pressure) and a new fancy-shmancy nasal pillow mask. I was diagnosed with sleep apnea about 8 years ago, shortly after my transplant. I hadn't used a machine in years, though, since pre-Aaminah so I was re-tested recently.

Not hijab friendly. LOL You are covered head to toe almost literally in little electrodes and wires. It is actually very restrictive and I had a really hard time falling asleep. Nice. :-) Anyway turns out I stop breathing 60 times an hour or roughly once a minute. I am never falling into the deep, REM sleep that refreshes us and allows us to heal and regenerate.

When I use my machine, all is right with the world. I am able to actually sleep and be more energetic and productive. Really it's like someone telling you they have a little magic pill to make you more energized. I love it.

What I didn't love, however was the face mask. O-Y-Hee. It was super-unattractive. Link Soviet Bloc meets Snuffle-ufagus (the crazy elephant-mammoth thingy from Sesame Street). Oh my bad. It's a SnuffleUPagus, not UFagus as I have thought for years. LOL Anyway compare:

Mr. SnuffleUPagus

My nasal mask. See the resemblance??? lol

Anyway so I really disliked the whole "I gotta a trunk sprouted from my face look." Enter the Breath-o-matic Wonder 3000. OK it's really just called the ResMed Swift FX for Her nasal pillow mask. Ah lookit, so cute and little! And... strap covers in piiiiink. lol So yeah it is much more feminine and thusly more pleasing to me. Check it out:

What a nice, unencumbered silhouette!

Now I just have to get used to it. :-) Insha'Allah that won't be too hard. Oh while we are doing show and tell here is my super-high tech CPAP machine. It has all kinds of fancy features such as humidity adjustment (Alhamdulillah there is a humidifier!) and a remote wireless transmitter to send my readings. Automatically. Yay! Anyway here it is:

Is so fancy yeah? And quiet masha'allah :-) I love how you help me sleep little machine!

Now that I have sung the praises of my gear, I have to poke a little fun. Apparently they now carry SKINS for these babies. So they blend into the interior and aren't so ugly and obtrusive. Personally I think it's because the company thought of another way to make money; who knows? lol Here are a few options:

For when you feel the need to channel Melissa from "The Real Housewives of New Jersey"

When singing the national anthem just isn't enough

Whoda thunk it, Bubba likes his musheen to be perty too! :-))

OK so a little poke at American capitalism and our need to feel validated and special and unique. Not to mention the mindless consumerism that runs rampamt here.

Ohhh wait, is that Hello Kitty I see?? ?LOL Alright falling asleep now, ma salaama ya'll!

Still here :-)

2011-10-26T00:09:00.001-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. This is just a brief update. Why brief, UofA? Because I'm mentally and emotionally drained, and I am physically exhausted. That's why. :-)

Anyway so I am still waiting on my own apartment! The complex had one opening up the first of November then the lady calls and says, "You are going to hate me.". I was thinking, great. But alhamdulillah I was very polite to her. She made an error and it's going to be Dec. 1st before an apartment is available.

Oh my gracious, really? It's getting very stressful living here and there. I feel like we are homeless. My daughter needs a home, I need a home. It's getting difficult to live off the charity of friends. I mean alhamdulillah we are great houseguests. We cook and clean, are quiet, play well with others. :-) But it's just mentally hard. I like my own space, my own little piece of this world where I can have a modicum of peace and tranquility. Ya Allah I need that!

So I am also looking for a job. A very sweet sister has asked me to babysit her 2 week old baby for her. Yes 2 weeks old. She is here to finish her Ph.D and she must go back now. I feel so sad for her but I need the money and I really want to help them.

I kinda miss the days when I could do those things fi sabilillah! But now it's necessary to take money to help provide for my daughter. Pray this works out and that something more stable and better paying comes along. Amin. :-)

So what else can I whine about?? LOL I think that's it. I haven't been taking good care of myself though. When things are rough I am the one I forget about, trying to take care of everything else. Alhamdulillah. However, I am so overdue for an appointment with my nephrologist, I need a CT scan to check on placement and exact size of that pesky little stone, I need and encoscope AND a colonoscopy done. Yes joy joy, it's just another wonderful perk of being Jeanna. :-) Yay me. lol

I am keeping my spirits up pretty well; I have days where I think, "What can I do with $3 and a pocket of used tissue?" (Thanks to Ms. Aaminah's newfound allergies! lol). The answer is simple:

Nothing on my own. So it is supremely humbling to be in this situation again and I am trying to use it as a tool to remind me of all my blessings. Yeah we don't have a home... but we have so many wonderful friends and family who would let us stay with them. Yeah my van isn't here.... but my son has let me borrow his car since I've been here. I didn't have the money to bring my van here... then an online friend I've never met sent me $200 to pay the expenses of someone driving it down.

Subhanallah. The barakah, both big and small, we can find when we just look.

Please make dua for my family and I as we go through this difficult process of moving back to our home. I hope to start blogging again regularly but you know my motto... um well I've never really had a motto but I always try to not whine and I really super-try to not talk ill of another Muslim or say things they would prefer be left unsaid. That's why my blog has been a bit quite. I am sure you all understand.

So keep me in your duat and say a special prayer for Aaminah that Allah swt blesses and protects her, amin. :-)

Love you all fi sabilillah! Ma salaama...

And life goes on :-)

2011-10-06T10:28:00.000-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. Soooo what's new with UofA? Wow really? I don't think I would have the time to go through it all. :-) So let's start at the top and one of the reasons my posting has been... nonexistant. :-)

My laptop broke. But... good news is A had purchased the extended warranty (which at the time I thought was wasteful) so I am getting it fixed but they had to send it off for repair. Thanks Geek Squad. :-) Anyway I'll have it back in a week or so insha'Allah. I've wanted to update but I hate using my friend's computer too much.

Another reason I've been absent so long is just waiting for things to calm down. I'm living with a friend (did I mentiont that?? I can't remember!) until my apartment is ready. It should be ready Nov. 1st. Insha'Allah! So I am really ready to be settled down, AGAIN, so I can get back into a normal routine.

Aaminah is missing her family in MA, miskeena little girl. She asked if her Baba was still her family. I said of course he is. She asked if she could live with him. I was almost devastated (except ok well she's 3 lol) but then she said, "Because I miss Basheq the cat". Masha'Allah how sweet children are. She really does miss them and I assured her that Baba and the kids are still her family but we had to move back to Tennessee.

She asked why they didn't come. Subhanallah, how her mind words. You can tell she's been thinking on this for a while. I hate to see her sad but alhamdulillah I think once we are living in our own apartment with her toys again, her books, etc., she will be more settled and happy. I mean right now she is having a ball! Friends all the time, trips to the masjid, having her family so close but still she is a little girl and misses what she knew.

Please make dua for her and for me that I can be both Mama and Baba for her. As yall know her Abi left her completely, has no contact, so she is, according to Islam, an orphan. Islamically a child without a father is considered an orphan; this has been hard for me to understand because with all of my children, I was the one who took care of them. Islamically that is also how the househole is ordered. Subhanallah this is a ruling of Allah's that I don't understand the basis for but accept it regardless.

Alright I have to go. Aaminah is reading a Toys r Us circular and picking out toys for baby Bilal, my friends baby. She says, "He is my little brother in Islam" masha'Allah. She has such a great accent masha'Allah when she says "Islam" and "Bilal" etc. May Allah help her grow to be a pious muslimah, a wonderful caring loving person, amin!

Relocating...again

2011-09-22T23:06:00.000-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. Sorry I've been so quiet lately; our life is in a bit of upheaval, trying to get everything moved. It's really stressful trying to get things organized long distance.

Hudson is about a 15 hour drive from Knoxville; I have to find a way to get all my furniture, our clothing, Aaminah's toys, cooking utensils, etc down here. I found an apartment but unfortunately they do not have an opening until November.

We are staying with my friend Sr. Lisa right now, may Allah bless her. She had her baby boy, Bilal, a beautiful little guy masha'allah! I've been busy trying to help her, take care of Aaminah, get our things situated, see family and friends... really I am exhausted.

I have most of the things taken care of except for the physical moving. Ya Allah.. honestly I don't know what to do. A offered to pack my things, rent a truck, and even load it; masha'Allah that's very kind. However, I have to find someone to drive it down plus my van.

I am terrified at the thought of having to do that myself; I'm not sure why either. I've been driving for 20 years, it's not like I'm incapable. However, that 15 hour drive, especially if driving a moving van and towing a van!, is more than daunting.

If ya'll have any ideas for me, please share. Otherwise, I am just not sure what to do. :-)

Ma salaama...

Wow :-(

2011-09-15T18:24:00.000-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. For the majority of you, thank you so much for your care, concern and duat. Wallahi you just don't know how much you are appreciated!

However, I did receive one comment I felt was decidedly un-sister-like in it's tone. Here is the comment received from Anon of my last post (about my divorce and move):

"As-SalaamuA'laykum,

I dont mean to be rude, but why aren't your sons living with you? I just cant understand why you would leave your children to raise your husband children and your daughter. And if they didnt want to move, then YOU have to stay put for them.

From what you mention here, they havent been living with you for awhile. Its very strange to me."

***************************************************************

Anonymous, wow. Guess your comment kinda took me by surprise. I like to see my blog as a positive place, one I turn to for support but alhamdulillah.

So long story short: i was dying. Yeah that's pretty short. And going through a divorce. And my ex's family paid for a lawyer but I had no money for one. My ex asked to have full custody on paper because of my rapidly failing health. (My kidneys were failing, I was in End Stage Renal Disease and I had suffered a stroke and 3 grand mal seizures.) He said he didn't want any issues with my family interfering if I were to die suddenly and had joint custody.

I agreed. He is an excellent father and was always honest. For several years I picked my boys up every day after dialysis when I could barely drag my body out of the clinic. ALHAMDULILLAH.

I helped them with their school reports, bandaged their cuts, and helped heal their little broken hearts. ALHAMDULILLAH.

I scheduled parent conferences between the thirteen different surgeries I had during the space of 2 years. I even managed to make goodies for bake sales and chaperone field trips. ALHAMDULILLAH.

Did I forget to mention I also went to college, full-time, pre-nursing major, and got a 3.8 gpa? ALHAMDULILLAH.

I did all I could, I gave my best, and then some. I did it gratefully, joyfully, happily because they were my sons. ALHAMDULILLAH.

Then their father got a girlfriend. Oh don't worry getting them today, he said, just rest a little. You're so sick. When he kept making excuses and I said, ok I'm just coming to get them he said no. He reminded me that on paper HE had full custody and HE felt it was for their "best interests" to not be back and forth between our homes.

So for a while I got them every Wednesday and every weekend. ALHAMDULILLAH.

Then he said, you know, the Wednesday really messes up their week and I want them some on the weekends. How about you just get them on every other weekend and every Sunday?

I cried, I begged... he was firm. It seems I wasn't good for his relationship with the new woman. I was still on disability, still poor, and had no way to pay a lawyer to go back to court to change the custody arrangement. ALHAMDULILLAH!

I did contact Legal Aid; they do not take family law cases. ALHAMDULILLAH.

So fast forward many years. I convert to Islam and search for a husband who will move to my town so I can be with my sons every other weekend. It's hard, I find one, and he turns out to be a green-card seeker. ALHAMDULILLAH!

I finally accepted A's proposal and with it, the knowledge I had to move away. I am sure that you know children are given to the father after a certain age or upon the re-marriage of the mother. So according to Allah swt my sons were supposed to be with their father, although it was something I fought against and could find no comfort in for a long time.

I finally realized that while they do need their mother, they need to grow to be MEN. They need to grow with a strong male example. Their father loves them and is a wonderful dad to them.

I was faced with the decision of remaining single (which is not from our religion!) to see my sons every other weekend. Or remarry (as we are urged to do) and allow them to live with their father (as Shariah tells us they should).

I guess, Anon, I fail to see what's so confusing about this. I went through a horribly sad time, I missed my sons so much and I did everything in my power to be a loving, attentive mother.

I'm sorry you feel it's very strange. Next time, ukhti, try making 70 excuses for your brother (or sister) and make du'a for her instead of judging her.

To my readers: Sorry if I am a little emotional. Usually I am pretty even-keeled but this is indeed a sore point with me. I am feeling a little fragile right now and just don't need this kind of drama. If I have spoken out of turn, I ask you all to forgive me.

Ma salaama...

Ummi is movin'

2011-09-15T02:22:00.000-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. So here's a bit of an interesting update: Ummi of Aami is moving. No not to wordpress, not to a private domain... I'm actually, physically, moving. Back home to Tenneessee. Alhamdulillah for it all.

I've missed my sons, my family, my muslim community here. I missed my volunteer activities at my masjid and I missed my job there, too, as the administrative assistant. I missed my muslim sisters here and the companionship and camaraderie we shared.

Alhamdulillah A and I had some issues in our marriage but my stance has not changed. I will never divulge private information that was at one time priveleged confidences between spouses. May Allah give him better in this life and the next, amin.

Of course we did not divorce in animosity; we are Muslims alhamdulillah and fear Allah so we have kept our discourses kind and have no ill will or feelings towards the other. I just ask that you all keep us in your du'a. You should also know I did not disclose our issues when they first occurred; it's just that I'm now comfortable informing you guys.

So of course I'll miss some things about Massachusetts; Aaminah and I lived in the cutest little town, Hudson. It was awesome in the winter, to experience the 3 foot high snow drifts and snow in the moonlight is something I wish everyone could experience in this life. The summers were muhajabat friendly too and sisters, ya'll know that's awesome!

But in the end, I wanna be home. Where snow is practically non-existant and schools close if 2 inches fall. Where snow falling in the moonlight is a rare occurence indeed and the summers send me running inside, to seek the comfort of an overworked A/C. Home is home and the rest simply doesn't matter.

So how will this affect UofA? Psssht ya'll must be kidding. I'll still be here, doing what I do, talking about mi vida loca, my children and family, my faith, food.... yeah you got it.

I love you all fi sabilillah!!! Ma salaama...

On hiatus

2011-09-12T13:36:00.000-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. I left on Sept 2nd for a long over-due visit back home to East TN. Yay!!!! :-) I've spent time with all of my close family and I've seen my muslim family too. It's been awesome!!!!! My friend Sr. Lisa is expecting a baby on the 19th of this month and her husband had to go out of the country for a couple of weeks. I stepped in to fill-in. :-)

I'm so excited about her baby!!!! Insha'Allah I can stay here a bit after he's born as well although once Abu Bilal returns it will be a tight fit and a bit awkward, staying around a non-mahrem. Anyway, I'm home!!!!

Here are a few pics for your viewing enjoyment. :-) And I'll be back, sooner or later; sorry I've neglected ya'll!!!

Aaminah and Alex, two of my babies!

Brother, Mom, myself (how did you know?? lol) and my sis.

View of my great-uncle's flower-covered shed. Beautiful!

Me and ALL my babies! 18, 14, and 3... wow.

She's a country girl at heart! PS this is a self-portrait titled "Bare feet" lol

Yeah, I was "glowing". It was hot as heck out there!

At least 3 generation have swung on that tree! Mamaw (my grandmother) used to have a clotheline strung there.

Aaminah and I at 'eid prayer. BEFORE the crowd. This is my chador-e-melli abaya btw. :-)

My little sweetheart. Later there was no room to move up there, masha'Allah!

From Oct. 2010 when we last visited :-)

Stupid cats and buttermilk biscuits

2011-09-01T06:21:00.002-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. So the title of my blog post is born of my early-morning annoyance. :-) I got up to pray fajr and decided to stay up, do the post on my homemade buttermilk biscuits, and have a nice cuppa latte. Uh, yeah, homemade from a mix! :-D

Anyway had my steamy, milky, yummy cup all made but didn't put the spill-proof lid on it yet. Foreshadowing, anyone? lol It was a bit too hot. Then my stepdaughter Zainab needed me to sign a few forms for school, ok great.

Basheq our cat likes to jump on our counters. I hate it. I don't want his behind on the place where I prep my food. So he jumps up, Zainab PETS HIM, and I instruct her to make him get down. This is a never-ending saga at our home. Well he jumps up again and I slap his bottom.

He takes off like a greased bullet, not jumping straight down, but rather streaking across the counter, spilling my FULL HOT CUP OF STEAMING LATTE, knocking over a dish and the fruit bowl. STUPID CAT!!!!! Grrrrrrrrrrrr. I put up with him on the best of days (ok ok so I like him a little!) but this just took the cat. Well that's a freudian slip. Meant to say "cake" as in took the cake. LOL

Out goes the cat on the balcony, and down goes me and Z to clean the floor. So now, here I sit, happily ensconced with my 2nd latte of the day and a toasted Pop-Tart. Ooops, sorry, toaster pastry cause ya'll know frugal mamas buy generic. LOL

Alright on to the recipe! I need to check and see if I have any photos; surely at some point I've photographed my lovelies. :-) To any of my UK/rest of the world readers, down south in the US a biscuit is a work of art. It's not a sweet or what we call a cookie and ya'll call biscuit. It's a yummy, lovely, fluffy, edible work of art and every southern cook worth her weight (and ya'll, I got some weight!!!) can make these babies.

I started being responsible to make the family bread when I was about 9 or so. Down south, for the most part, that's either buttermilk biscuits or cornbread. Rolls are for Sunday dinners and Thanksgiving. Please try to keep up. lol

First, and this is gonna stymie most of my readers, you must must must must have White Lily self-rising flour. OK so you can use all-purpose, I'm no stranger to adding baking powder, but White Lily is a must. It's the only flour made from soft winter wheat. It has a lower gluten level which equates to being less tough and chewy. Nice for white bread, bad for biscuits.

You can use another flour but I will not eat your biscuits. LOL When I came here to Massachusetts, I tried King Arthur (a very well-respected brand) Pillsbury, and generic brands. Nothing came close. I looked it up online, trying to find a retailer here. No such luck.

So how, Ummi of Aami, do you get your flour? It's a well-known fact you must bring me a 5lb sack or two when you visit here. My mom and sister both have kept me supplied if I am judicious in my usage. Meaning no more thrice weekly biscuit baking sessions. Boo hoo hoo! Losing my southern accent and my biscuit eating. LOL Actually my sister MAILED me 10 lbs of the good stuff once.

White Lily used to be produced in Knoxville, TN, my little almost-home town. (I was from the countryside, not the "big city" lol.) They shut down production and now it's getting harder to find. They were bought out by Smuckers (damn you, Smuckers!) and now it's made in a plant in Ohio.

Oh be still my beatin' heart!!!! The object of my ~~obsession~~ affection!

OK I just realized how extremely passionate I feel about the subject of biscuit-making and flour. That's because, as a southern girl, biscuits were a part of the almost daily fabric of our lives. Many stories and memories are played out with them in the background, the humble little biscuit.

Alright so if you can get the flour then you need the fat. Before, of course, people used lard which is rendered pig fat. OMG. We never used it (of course pre-Islam I used to eat pork) but it has a heavy greasy odor that's a bit foul to my delicate sensibilities. hehe The fat of choice?

Cue Crisco! Hydrogenated vegetable oil, solid at room temp and creamy white. OK yeah I've used generic in the past but for my bona-fide, no-fail biscuits, it's Crisco baby.

Now it's made with 0 trans-fats. Didn't care when we were growing up! :-)

Yeah, as the picture shows, it makes awesome pie-crust too. ;-)

Alright, flour check, shortenin' check, now the buttermilk. Finally something you can get generic but up here in MA I prefer to use Katie's. Is a home-town company and a great product. Anyway never ever ever ever ever make biscuits without buttemilk. If you don't have it, you don't need biscuits. Do yourself a favor and just make bread. LOL Because there is truly no substitute for thick, tangy buttermilk. Still following? Ok great...

Hey, that's it! 3 ingredients, super-yummy, and here's how ya make it:

Pre-heat oven to 500f. Yes, 500. They cook hot and fast!

Measure out 2 cups self-rising flour. If using all-purpose add half-tsp salt and about 1 tbsp baking powder. Add around a 1/4 cup shortening and mix til crumbly. Don't over mix; I use either a pastry blender or a fork. It should resemble course crumbs.

Next take about 3/4 cup buttermilk. Add it slowly to make sure you don't over-saturate. Wet dough sucks! Mix in slowly with a fork and mix it gently. You don't wanna over-stimulate the gluten; biscuits should be light and airy.

So mix it gently til you have a cohesive ball of dough, sticky but not wet! Turn it out onto a well-floured counter top. Growing up, we used to make them on newspaper. Yeah, go figure. Anyway sprinkle it lightly with flour, and knead GENTLY 8-10 times. Really use a light touch or you'll end up with hockey pucks. :-)

Either roll or pat out; I usually just pat it out with my hands. I also don't have a biscuit cutter so I use the outer sleeve of my measuring cup (it's a sliding one). I really need a biscuit cutter tho!

Gather up the scraps and gently pat them out cut again. We don't waste biscuit dough!!! lol

Place them gently on the non-greased cookie sheet. I don't let my touch, placing them an inch or so apart. Do it however you like.

Never throw away the little scrap left over. Either make a whimsical biscuit shape or let your kids make their own. Aaminah and both my boys loved doing that.

Now bake in the hot 500f oven for 10 minutes. Yeah 10 minutes. In the meantime, melt a bit of butter to brush on the tops as soon as they come out. The yum-factor is outta this world.

Serve with turkey sausage gravy (oh yes please!), any breakfast meat, or just butter, jelly or honey. Or do like us and eat it all 3 ways at one time. haha Makes 8 or so biscuits.

Hmmm now I'm wanting some biscuits! Here's a pic of the finished, mouth-watering photo:

Enjoy!

Ma salaama ya'll! This was in response to Sr. Teri's request for my buttermilk biscuit recipe.

Random bits and pieces

2011-08-31T13:40:00.000-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. Usually I'm not too wordless (or I am fairly verbose, take your pick!) but here is a lazy-daisy picture post for your viewing enjoyment. To all my fb peeps, sorry you've seen these pictures. :-P

Aaminah learned about the surface tension of water; I learned how to let her play in it! :-)

Subhanallah, how peaceful.

Aaminah reading to her toy :-)

Just like her mama, she took my camera, staged this pic and came to show me. Masha'allah!

Made home-made "birds in a blanket". Uh turkey sausage wrapped in home-made buttermilk biscuit dough.

Hmm dipped in grape jam, yes ma'am!

Ma salaama ya'll!

Post #2: Homemade spaghetti

2011-08-29T12:51:00.000-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. So I went on a bit of a cooking spree recently and I decided to make homemade spaghetti again. I learned how to make homemade sauce from A but of course, like always, I then put my own spin on it.

You'll need:

olive oil
1 4oz can tomato paste
salt
chopped onion
4-5 garlic cloves, finely chopped or mashed
2 dried red chilis (can use more, wasn't very spicy) or turkish red pepper paste, love 'em both
small can black olives
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp homemade spice mix (this one had 1 clove, bit of cinnamon, cumin, a dried lemon, coriander seeds)
1 tbsp oregano, more or less to taste
package turkey meatballs or can use whatever meat ya'll prefer
parmesan cheese for yummy goodness at the end ;-)

Get your olive oil nice and shimmery-hot, medium heat.

Add the tomato paste but be careful! Mine had a little sizzle to it. :-)

About a tbsp of salt, don't over salt, you can always add later

Poppin' in 2 dried red chilis; shoulda put one more but was nice masha'Allah

In go da onions!

Aww, can't forget the garlic! Yummmm!

Let it cook, stirring often, for at least 15 minutes. Low heat.

Added the chopped black olives. Everyone here are olive snobs but I can use these in sauces. :-)

See how the oil is separating? Yeah, that's what you want. Cook til it gets a nice dark color and don't forget to stir!

I added chopped turkey meatballs. You can leave 'em whole but I prefer them chopped up.

Tada! I used about 12 oz of pasta, probably coulda just done with 8 oz but I don't mind a drier pasta. I don't like gobs of sauce on mine. :-) Oh and cue the parmesan please!

Hmmm so that's that. I like to use a smaller noodle, I know scientifically a thick sauce should have a tube pasta or one with a corkscrew shape but I like thin noodles like vermicelli (above) or cappelini (angel hair). And al-dente my behind. Sorry I kinda like my pasta soft, I always go that last minute of cooking. :-)

Oatmeal, New England style

2011-08-29T12:26:00.001-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. I have a few recipes I wanna post but I thought I'd do this one. It's not really a recipe but more of a method. Down south we always ate oatmeal (porridge to my UK peeps!) with butter and sugar and then a side of buttered toast and bacon. Yep that's it.

Up here it's a whole different ballgame. Check out the pics and you'll see. Note: this is NOT for the faint of heart. The amount of carbs, total sugar, and fat is shockingly high. We haven't had it for probably 4 months. :-)

For the oatmeal itself we used 3/4 cups oats to 1.5 cups milk. Yeah they use milk here, too. Back home? Water. :-)

I deviated slightly here; I add my butter to the entire bowl, not just the little hole you make later. :-)

Next liberally sprinkle it with brown, not white!, sugar.

Next made an indention in the middle and fill it with hot, 100% pure maple syrup.

OK so that's that. Btw, pure maple syrup costs around $20 for half litre; it's ridiculously expensive but oh-so-yummy. Sorry, Mrs. Butterworth's, your generic butter-flavored, imitation maple syrup product just can't compete! :-)

Ma salaama ya'll...

It's all in the attitude...

2011-08-25T00:07:00.000-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. You know from reading my blog here that I've been less than happy with my local Islamic community. The lack of adhab (manners) coupled with my homesickness really made me not very eager to attend the masjid here.

Alhamdulillah that has changed this Ramadhan. Basically I came to the conclusion that nothing will change without those willing to change it and I can, in my small way, be part of a positive change. I also decided it is incumbent upon me to seek out those kind, like-minded sisters that I want to have dealing with. The others? I say "A'salaamu alaikum" with a smile and keep a'truckin'.

So I've put my new attitude to work in the latter half of this Ramadhan and I am very happy and surprised with the results. I've made some new friends and identified new friendly faces. Now granted if none of these sisters showed up I would feel a bit out of sorts but alhamdulillah that is why my daughter is another blessing. We always have each other and I am just I would manage. It just wouldn't be as fun. :-)

Now, if you were to ask, yes I would say many of them are converts. And then there are a few Arabs, an African or two, as well as a couple of Indo-pak sisters. So it's not exactly a homogenous group. Oh yes and another Persian sister who is masha'Allah so nice; I really enjoyed talking with her last night.

I'm very grateful I pushed myself out of my comfort zone (which appeared to only be my old masjid! lol) and really try to make myself at home here in MA. I am much happier now this Ramadhan, having other sisters to commune with. Oh yeah and not cooking 3 meals a day helps too. LOL

I've not been making suhoor, my husband has so I'm sleeping in until Fajr. I make a bit for Aaminah for breakfast and lunch, I might eat a tiny bit (I can't fast due to my transplant issues) and then we've been going to the masjid every night for iftar. It's been liberating and I've enjoyed my cooking hiatus!

I did make some khadra lubya wa roz to take tonight to the masjid to share at my table. I feel a little bad about that because I can't make enough to feed all the sisters but we can't always eat the food there. I do bring enough so that anyone who sits down where we are will be invited to have some and I never only serve it to others of my ethnic group. So I squelched my feelings of guilt and brought it in to share. Everyone really loved it and I'm glad I did. :-)

I helped with the taraweeh babysitting one night. Ya Allah! First off, I didn't get home until 12:30 a.m. which is horribly late. I had Aaminah with me and she was absolutely tuckered. Spent, stick-a-fork-in-her-done! Then the kids... really. They were horrible. Absolutely no manners, no gratitude and can you say LOUD??? Ok to be fair there was a small enclave of quiet, sweet children but they were totally over-ran by the rambunctious wanna-be runaways.

No one wanted to stay in the babysitting room and I can't really blame them. It was hot and over-crowded but we did have many activities for them. Masha'Allah the sisters who do the babysitting do it fi sabilillah. I will be honest, I would not do it every night. There is no way. Alhamdulillah they are better sisters than I and much more patient. May Allah swt give them blessings, amin!

Well this was a bit of a mish-mashed post but kinda a Ramadhan update. Ma salaama ya'll!

Favorite Qur'an verses/hadith

2011-08-23T15:02:00.001-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. So I'm facing some issues right now (what believer doesn't???) and I do indeed take comfort in the words from the Qur'an. I want to post some of my favorites right now and insha'Allah it can serve as a reminder to us all, in good times AND in bad.

"Verily, after hardship there is ease." Qur'an 94:6

"Bear with patience whatever befalls you" Qur'an 31:17

"And put your trust in ALLAH if you are a believer indeed" Qur'an 5:23

""No calamity befalls on earth or in yourselves but is inscribed in the Book of Decrees – before We bring it into existence." Qur'an 57:22

"Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest." Qur'an 13:28

"Therefore remember Me and I will remember you…" Qur'an 2:152

The Prophet (pbuh) said, "Whoever Allah wishes good for, He inflicts him (with hardship)." [Bukhari]

I've had some issues I've been dealing with and I will admit there are times when I have forgotten to turn in everything to my Creator. I find when I read verses such as these, it serves as a great reminder and helps me to trust in Allah and His grace and providence.

One issue is my transplant. I've been having some pain around my transplant site and they've schedule and ultrasound and clinic appointment tomorrow. My creatnine has crept up again, 1.97 which is almost 2.0 (yeah duh! lol). That is kinda the number where they say, Oh snap, kidney looks like it might be failing.

Just make du'a for me, sisters, that I come through these hardships with stronger iman and even more faith and trust in the qadr of Allah. And while we're at it, please make dua' for a very nice Persian sister I've met the past 2 Ramadhans at my masjid. She's so kind masha'Allah and she asked me to make du'a for her sons, that they become strong in their faith.

It touched a chord in me. I am always humbled by those with strong faith, who turn first to Allah in their hearts when trouble strikes them. And her asking me to pray for her and her sons... it humbled me, sisters. So please, if you can remember. make du'a for this sisters and ask Allah to grant her requests and also remember me to Allah.

Jazakum Allahu khair!

UPDATE: I just heard our brothers and sisters in Libya are liberated! The tyrant Ghadafi is gone! Allahuakbar! Allahuakbar!! Allahuakbar!!! May Allah swt guide their new leaders to institute laws that are just and equitable for all and free all our ummah from persecution, amin!

What do you wear in your home?

2011-08-21T13:34:00.001-04:00

*At Sr. Ahsan's suggestion, I removed the photo of a classical painting depicting a woman in a Turkish hammam (public bath). It was Islamically inappropriate in that it showed her awrah and I thank the sister for speaking up. :-)*

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. After a conversation with a friend I was wondering what other wear in their home? I feel like I might be a little weird, now, based on her laughter. I always wear a long dress (usually sleeveless, tho, I get hot easy) and most often with light, stretchy pants under it but not always. I have a couple of "house-dresses" I wear that are actually made for out and about but aren't too hijab friendly for me.

On the rare occasion I wear a shirt, it comes to my knees and then I wear pants with it. Sometimes I do wear a denim skirt and kameez shirt in the house but to be honest I generally don't go to all the trouble.

I guess I get a kick out of all the old paintings and descriptions of a seraglio and the scantily-clad women. Also in a book written by an American reporter about women in Islam (I won't give the title a shout-out) she described being invited to a part in the middle east where the before burka'd women were in transparent negligees, their lack of hair apparent. I was like LOL yeah right! I hate it when the media panders the to appetites of the masses.

And this was supposed to be in KSA if memory serves. Anyway I really doubt the veracity of her claims and I am pretty sure most of my readers dress in a somewhat similiarly modest fashion.

So, what do you guys wear in the home?

Got blog?

2011-08-21T01:59:00.000-04:00

I just love wordles!

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll! Just wanting anyone who reads here regularly and has a blog to please comment below. Sometimes I forget to check out people's blog and I hate to think I have people who read here but I forget to read theirs!

So if it isn't too much to ask, please just shoot me a comment and say, "Hey, UofA, why dontcha ever check out MY blog?" except please be nice. I don't wanna cry. :-)

Btw, I am posting this at 2am. Ya Allah! I babysitted for taraweeh prayer and Islamc school fundraiser tonight and didn't get home til 1 am; that is also cleaning up after the little ~~demons~~ darlings! That's a whole other post, though, the craziness and lack of manners. Anyway is sooo late and I'm sooo tired that my eyes are crossing and the page looks blurry. Forgive any typos. :-)

Alrighty, ma salaama!

Chinese food and craft time

2011-08-19T23:39:00.000-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. Aaminah and I decided to grab some Chinese food tonight so off we headed to Star Ocean. Yes, Star Ocean. Not sure why the names seem to be randomly picked; I am sure it translates into some magnificent like their awesomeness is as big as the ocean but in English, it doesn't really come across. :-)

Anyway we got a small order of spicy garlic chicken with steamed white rice, 2 veggie spring rolls, and a side of chicken tempura for mah baby. Just in case she didn't like the garlic chicken and veggies.

Well it turned out it was not spicy at all and pretty darn sweet but still tasted nice. It had a lot of different veggies which was good and the sticky white rice was nice.

I'm a fan of spring rolls but like 'em rolled smaller than they do here. Not a biggie but just how it is. The chicken tempura was surprisingly good; we both ate 2 pieces.

Before attacking it...

We paid under $13 for all this food and it is still enough for a meal tomorrow if not a bit more. Really fair prices, freshly cooked food, and it was done in about 7 minutes. They deliver but we went out to get it cause I didn't have a menu handy. Ah well... :-)

My plate, not even half of the food plus I couldn't eat it all.

Earlier today Aaminah found a birdhouse I had bought for my boys to paint probably 5 yrs ago? lol Anyway she wanted to paint it, at first I said no then I changed my mind. So I hauled out some watercolors, set her up and masha'allah she painted for over 30 minutes!!!!!

Should I drink it??

I like that color :-)

Ahhh therapeutic!

Girl was serious about her water cup; we changed it probably 7 times lol

Look how pristine she kept her colors masha'Allah :-)

All done Mama!

If you don't already have a lil curly-headed sweetie around, I definitely recommend picking one up. :-) They brighten any place you put them.

Ma salaama ya'll...

Oh the shame of it!

2011-08-18T19:10:00.001-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. Alternate title: hijabi closet of shame. Most of us have one. Filled to bursting with clothes that a) don't fit b) went out of style 10 yrs ago, c)bought on a splurge and later regretted it or mostly likely, d) a combination of the above. :-)

So I decided to come clean, as it were, and air my secret obsession with clothes I don't wear yet still, for some reason, hang onto. Mostly because I am just so positive I'll lose that 20lbs and then, well won't I have enough clothes! lol

Insha'allah you get some enjoyment out of this; sorry it came out kinda dark. The bedroom only has lamplight, not an overhead, so it maybe isn't stellar quality. Oh and I got inspired by Sr. Mona's recent video efforts.

Ma salaama ya'll!

30 days of iftars, sorry ya'll

2011-08-17T09:52:00.000-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. The 30 days of iftars feature is being suspended as I've ran out of anything interesting to cook and ran out of interest to finish. Eh, I would feel guilty but I don't think I will. I'll still, of course, post any noteworthy culinary experiences, should I happen to do anything worthy of noting. :-))

Ma salaama ya'll... :-)

30 days of iftars: #11-14

2011-08-14T23:30:00.001-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. So nights 11, 12, and 13 the family went to the masjid. Oh wait, maybe they just went twice but now I can't remember what I made. Umm I think we had leftovers. Anyway that's what happens when I put off updating my blog. :-)

That brings us to tonight, the 14th of Ramadhan. I made another shorba. Yes go ahead, gasp and be surprised. :-) I was planning on just making the plain lentil soup I had made previously but I got creative. Anyway I think I took pics of every step so this is gonna be a picture post. Hope ya'll got a good high-speed connection! ;-)

So I get my handy-dandy soup pot out and put some water in it. No I don't measure it, just enough to last us 2 days worth of soup. :-)

A pot of water. Captivating. :-D

OK so then I add enough chicken stock paste to flavor said water. Once again, eyeball it. Actually I ended up not eyeballing it too well because I had to add more later. Ah well. :-) Btw, if you aren't gonna make your own stock, I think this concentrated paste tastes better than canned. And please never use a cube!!! Mostly salt and msg in those little buggers.

Scintillating photojournalism. Yah, I know.

OK so added the chicken base to the water, got it boiling good.

Plop! Please notice the water displacement; I thought it looked cool. lol

Now is time to prep the other ingredients. Few cloves garlic, smashed and chopped finely. F I N E L Y. Yes don't be lazy. If you aren't gonna saute your garlic it needs to be in small pieces not chunks. :-) Oh wait, I didn't take pics of that but you can see the end result. Instead I wanted to regale you with a picture of my favorite knife. It's awwww-some! I don't let the kids touch it nor does it goes in the dishwasher. It has an uber-sharp blade and Ima keeping it safe!!! lol

This is the BEST knife. Uber-expensive but A had gotten it from an apartment; they people left a whole set behind. Cha-ching!

So then I prepped the food; sliced the carrots and chopped the garlic. Then I decided, what the heck, let's live a little and deviated from the recipe. I added some frozen spinach for an extra nutritional punch. POW! ZAP! PING! Oh and the red lentils too. :-)

Cute cutting board. :-) It makes me happy to chop!

Alrighty, into the pot you go!

Hmm I cheated; the spinach is already in the pot! Mwa-ha-ha! My evil knows no bounds!

So now what to do? Hmm I think I'll add my secret ingredient: hot pepper paste. Most halal stores I've been in sell it; it's a Turkish product. I've had many different brands. It's good because it's not incendiary but pleasantly warm. I love chipotles in adobo sauce for most things but some foods (lentil soup for example) really don't need the smoky heat of chipotles.

It lasts a long time, too. :-)

So I was all finished when I thought, hmm let's add another veggie and make it a regular old soup. So in was chunked a car of shoepeg corn. It's really sweet though and in retrospect I might not have added it although Aaminah was very happy. :-)

Hmmmm corn... :-)

Oh then I boiled it all for maybe 20 minutes, added my lentils, overcooked them as usual to mush, and voila! I then made the salad and look how lovely my avocado came out? Really it doesn't take a lot to make me happy. :-)

Perfect, butter flesh, no bruising, yay!

Now, here's the soup!

This was my bowl. :-)

And here is the salad:

OK so now I'm up-to-date and insha'Allah will do better. ;-) Ma salaama ya'll!

Just for fun- Video fixed!

2011-08-12T04:02:00.006-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. Here is my little songstress, channeling Rapunzel from "Tangled". Please note her dramatic theatrics at the end of the song. :-)

Btw, this is the second time I've tried to post this particular thing; you know I've had issues with blogger and video but this one is much shorter. If it still doesn't show up, all you'll see is a grainy pic of a good-morning hair girl.

30 days of iftars: #10

2011-08-11T09:33:00.001-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. So Ramadhan is 1/3 gone; have you made use of your time? I will admit I have not. This year is a challenge for me and my iman is not at its highest. I can't fast because I was sooo sick this past year and had the rejection episode in March. My kidney function hovering around 30% and I have to keep my little buddy hydrated.

That said of course I am able to engage in other ibadah but I will be honest with you all as I try to always do: I am just not doing it. I have been slogging half-heartedly through learning my new surah (114 An-Nas), I make my fard prayers, stay away from major sins, and that's probably the highlight of my Ramadhan. In short, nothing has changed except now dinner must be at an EXACT time and I get up to make suhoor at an unhealthy hour.

I long for those first 3 Ramadhans when I felt spiritually renewed, recharged, revitalized. I know my personal issues have affected me but I take full responsibility. I know the benefits and blessings of this month and I am letting them pass me by. All I can ask is Allah swt grants me forgiveness and helps me get back to the place I long to be, amin.

Alright so on to the iftar menu. (Pretty-birding, ok? lol) I made a nice marqa (which is shorba, soup, served over couscous or some other starchy thing I guess). I did actually take some pics; I know I've made this before but I tweaked the recipe a wee bit and I liked the pics so here ya go.

Since I've posted this recipe before I'll just go over some highlights. I changed my spice mixture to make it a little more savory. I threw some of this into the grinder:

1 tsp coriander seeds
1 clove (not garlic, just a clove lol)
2 dried red chilis
1 tsp caraway seeds
1 tsp cumin
pinch salt, dunno why, just wanted to
1/2 small cinnamon stick.

OK so as always I browned my meat (used beef for a change) in olive oil. At first it will release a lot of steam and liquid so it's imperative you cook it til it's dried with just the oil bubbling around and fragrant. Don't be stingy with the oil; our halal butcher always uses very lean meat so the oil is essential. I cover the bottom of the heavy huge soup pot with about 1/4 inch oil. Yeah, not stingy. :-)

After the liquid evaporates, I added my finely chopped garlic, probably 5 cloves of it. Then 1/2 of a larger can of tomato paste (NOT sauce, nasty) which was about 5 tbsp I think. Anyway brown the heck out of it with your flame or burner on medium low; the pot is very heated from cooking the beef so long and it doesn't need a high temp; don't wanna scorch the tomato base.

See how dark the paste becomes and how the oil separates? Niiiiiice

What happens to your lens when you get too close to steamy, cooking food lol

Then I threw in the peeled "baby" carrots and a can of well-rinsed chickpeas/hummus. Aaminah is a hummus fiend masha'Allah so she snacked on a few straight from the can .

Same pic but the first one developed a weird orange line thru it, interesting. :-)

Then I added the trimmed brussel sprouts; my family loves 'em. Plus you know I love to mix up the color of my dishes. :-)

So then I gave it a good boil maybe 20 minutes then added 2 quartered potatoes and made a bit of couscous. I cheat on the couscous btw; I boil water, add it to my couscous then cover and let it steam that way. It comes out fluffy and yummy so no worries. I hate a lot of prep for simple foods.

Alright here is a pic of a half-eaten bowl of soup. Oh I did add a bit too much olive oil; tasted lovely but there was a slight sheen on the top.

30 days of iftars: #8 & #9

2011-08-10T11:36:00.001-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. So let's get back to our Ramadhan menu. I know I've been leaving out suhoor but really we eat almost the same things. Boiled eggs, mini bagels or pita bread, olive oil, yougurt, fruit or we do a multi-grain cereal with 1% milk and then yougurt or granola bar. Simple. A few days I've done an egg sandwich on oatbread. I grew up eating the cheap white bread which I still love with mayo and fried bologny (as we say in the south!) but I stay faaaar from that snack now! lol

So day #8: I made another shorba (of course) and this one was uber-simple and very yummy. Use canned, frozen, or reconstituted chicken stock. I use about 3 qts generally. Add a few cloves of finely chopped garlic and a good swirl of olive oil. Sometimes I lightly saute the garlic first but my family loves garlic so it isn't necessary.

Then I added some shredded carrot, just a bit to add to the color and overall texture/nutritional value. Give it a nice boil, then add your rinsed/drained red lentils. Yes I love these little guys. I like the color and how fast they cook. :-) Gently boil for maybe 15 minutes, test for the doneness you prefer. I like them slightly mushy, kinda disintegrating. Maybe ya'll like it different so cook it less or more.

We also had salad of course, and then I made a pretty tasty dish with the leftover burgers. There wasn't a lot left so I sauteed some baby 'bella mushrooms and an onion in a bit of butter, then mixed a mushroom gravy (from packet lol) and added the chopped, cooked burgers. I served it over plain boiled basmati rice. It was surprisingly good! Oh I did add a little "Bam!" to it with a tbsp of chipotle adobo sauce. Hmmmmmmm good!

Looks possibly less than appetizing but don't let its appearance fool you. :-)

#9:

We had the leftover lentil shorba (addis abba) and salad (duh!). :-) Aaminah was craving some salmon so we made a baked salmon fillet, Me... sorry I only like salmon in patties, mixed with celery, onion, egg, and cornmeal. :-) I know, southern girl likes fried food, go figure. lol I used the 3 spice mix I ground fresh the other day (coriander, dried lemon and caraway), some salt, cumin, and maybe something else I forgot. :-)

We had about 1 pound of skin on, Atlantic salmon and we baked it at 350 for around 45-50 minutes, checking frequently. Oh and drizzle a bit of olive oil on top so it doesn't dry out.

Funny story, Aaminah loves salmon, adores it, her eating habits are masha'Allah very mediterranean. :-) However she has recently developed this understanding of exactly where our food comes from. Last night, she took one look at her salmon and said, "I am afraid it's alive!"

It didn't matter how I tried to reassure her she just woulnd't eat it. I can't blame her, I'm weird with food too. I tried our normal little funny things when I am trying to make her laugh. I picked up a bit of salmon and said "Eat me, eat me, I'll make you strong!".

She eyed it skeptically then announced, "I don't EAT fish that TALKS. No no!". LOL So that backfired and she only ate a few bites of a dish she normally loves.

I also bought some ice cream for a treat and she was excited.

Once again sorry for the lack of photos but if something turns out a treat, I'll try to remember and snap a shot. :-)

Ma salaam ya'll....

30 days of iftars: #6 & #7!

2011-08-08T10:56:00.001-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll! Whew, Ramadhan is one busy month. Sorry for not keeping up with daily posts but you know... :-)

So #6... after my shorba debacle A decided to lend a hand in the kitchen. Really he is SO much fun to cook with! And this time, he cleaned as he went. Double yes! His style is rustic mediterranean/Tunisian and it's a nice blend, lemme say. He wanted to make a more ~~palatable~~ authentic soup so off I went to the store. Yeah, errand girl and sous chef. :-)

His list: cornish hen (you know the super cute little ones!) which he cut up and fried in a bit of olive oil with some smashed garlic and chopped onion. Really you have to know how he cooks; it's just so primal. Honestly. Smash! the garlic, rough-chop the onion, hack the cute little cornish hen into pieces. Oh then we added a small can of tomato paste. You have to fry this mixture nicely to take the acidity from the tomatoes, maybe 15-20 minutes at medium heat, giving it a good stir now and then.

Oh wait, I forgot.. spices. Yes so heuses an interesting mixture, let me recall. All amounts are arbitrary; he said half a tsp but what he used was a regular small spoon from the drawer which is more like a complete teaspoon measurement. :-) Here's the list and approximate amounts:

Cumin, ground, 1 tsp
Dried lemon, 1 small, crushed then ground
caraway seeds, 1 tsp ground
turmeric 1 tsp (A swears this kills the chicken odor)
coriander 1 tsp, ground
paprika
freshly dried ground mint (sprinkled on individual bowls)

OK so throw your spices in the pot whilst it is frying, then add a quantity of water (maybe 5 cups?) and 2 quartered potatoes and about 7 carrots, cut in half and sliced. Boil for about 20 minutes then add about a cup of well-rinsed red lentils. Gently simmer for another 20 minutes or so, sprinkle with freshly chopped parsley and you're done.

This is nice, has a fresh taste, low in fat, and very healthy for iftar. I served it with quartered pitas, yougurt, and salad.

#7 I made hamburgers. I finely chopped half a small onion and also added about 3 tbsp pureed chipotle peppers in adobo sauce. Be careful, you can get it too spicy if you aren't careful. Aaminah and I love the smoky quality they give the burgers. Add some salt and freshly ground black pepper.

Now the mixing part is key. If you overmix hamburger meat it gets tough. Our halal butcher always seems to have only very lean ground beef which, while healthier, doesn't make for as tasty burgers. I really recommend 80/20 lean to fat ratio for a burger. This was more like 90/10 but alhamdulillah.

So after mixing gently, I shape into patties about an inch larger than the bun we use and make them very thing, about 1/4 inch. You know burgers shrink and thicken as they cook so this ends us with, for us, the perfect size of burger.

I preheated my grill super-hot, placed the burgers, and got a nice brown on one side in about 3-4 minutes, flipped, browned the other, then turned the flame down to low and flipped one more time. Put the cheese on top and then left the burgers on the grill with the flame off and lid closed til we were ready to eat.

We had chips :-) and salad, an olive mixture, and of course all the condiments: mayo, ketchup, mustard, pickled peppers, and my fave, mashed avocado. Yum, yum, and yum. :-)

Alright, sorry for no photos but you know, time to eat and everyone is like a starving beast, no one wants to wait for me to pull out the camera. Oh and I just forget too. :-) Insha'Allah I'll take it up a notch. :-)

Ma salaama!

30 days of iftars: #4 &5

2011-08-05T20:44:00.000-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. So night #4 was a fail. I made lentil soup, addis abba, but of course with my own spin. I've made it like this before, especially last Ramadhan. I used chicken, carrots, onion (we ran out of garlic!), red lentils, and celery. So kinda like a chicken soup with lentils but always turns out nicely.

This time I used too much chicken and it just had a funky chicken smell. I can't stand that! I tried putting lemon juice in it but to no avail. Really it's best made with bone-in chicken not boneless breasts which I used. At any rate, the family ate it but I didn't. I have a thing about meat and meat smells now and it's just really hard for me to stomach them. It's a kidney thang, I guess.

Anyway we had the soup, salad (a staple) plus leftover samosas, reheated in the oven. The kids ate some leftover cheesecake as well. I nibbled at a samosas and had some olives, another "condiment" on our table. :-)

I haven't been feeling well today; I had planned to make the shorba I've shown on here before, yummy with lots of veggies and beef cubes. Alas my body isn't co-operating so that's not in the cards. I drug myself to the store to get the tomato paste and then by the time I got home, I was waaay too tired to cook.

So A hauled himself and the bigger kiddos to the masjid for iftar; Aaminah and I indulged in a very gourmet repast of frozen cheese pizza. Here we sit now, Aaminah watching "Lady and the Tramp" and mama resting, finishing her blog post.

Qur'an update:

I've worked on my surah (114 An-nas) and have made great progress. Except... I am so shy to say it out loud while practicing. I always have an audience and, as everyone else in the house has a native Aarbic accent, it does make me shy. I know this is my issue but there you have it. I want to have the surah completed before this time next week. I know it's plenty of time just the practice issue. Insha'allah it will work out. :-)

Ma salaama ya'll

30 days of iftars: #3

2011-08-04T10:35:00.001-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. Last night we had iftar at the masjid; no cooking for mama! We had a spicy veggie beef stew of sorts with some really nice jeera rice and super thin pita bread with salad. After we came home the kiddies had some hot fries (you know those nasty fried spicy potato sticks? Yeah those.) and a couple of cookies plus milk to cut the burn of the spicy chip sticks.

For suhoor this morning the kids had a mixture of granola cereal with nuts and dates with milk and a cheese stick. Plus lots of water! A, who is not eating loads of carbs, opted for leftover roast chicken, cucumbers and plain yogurt. He is a very healthy eater, masha'Allah and has dropped, can you believe, 30 lbs????

Yes that's right. He's been watching his eating habits for a little over 2 months and lost 30 lbs. Whatev. LOL Just kidding I am very proud of him but geeze, for men it seems weight loss is a breeze! They say, oh I think I'll lose weight and poof! it's gone. I guess there might be some advantages to being a man. lol

Anyway he did it by totally cutting out all bread, rice, pasta, really any carbs from grains. I am hoping he'll be ready to reintroduce some but he is so happy with his weight loss plus he discovered he had been, at least, gluten intolerant. He had some very severe intestinal issues for the past 15 years but you know men, sometimes they just ignore these things. Once he cut out all wheat his issues totally resolved themselves. Totally.

It was amazing really; he feels so good now he doesn't even miss the bread anymore! Really that was his downfall; bread is his favorite food. The few times he tried to reintroduce bread, even a small portion, he was in pain again for a few days. Nice to be able to pinpoint the source of his discomfort.

Anyway he does eat some carbs now; he'll eat a small portion of, say, rice, maybe half a cup. But the builk of his diet is lean protein (chicken, tuna, low-fat cheese, eggs) with lots of low-carb veggies. Cucumbers, celery, green beans, broccoli, cauliflower, spinach, romaine lettuce, onions, mushrooms.. really he has a bit selection to choose from, all healthy and low-carb. He gets some carbs in the form of dairy, mainly yogurt and the cheese, but still pretty low in general. He consumes well under 50 grams per day while the typical person's diet is composed of at least 150 grams daily, many with carb addiction topping 300!!!

I know this was supposed to be a post about iftars but since I didn't cook I thought I would go ahead and share his success. I am tempted to do it also; I would love to get some of this weight off plus who wants to outclass their husband? lol He is under the 200 mark for the first time in years whilst I, dearest readers, am still hanging out comfortably above that level. :-( lol

Insha'Allah this finds you all in the best of health and iman; please share your iftar/suhoor ideas! Love you all fi sabilillah!!!!

30 days of iftars: #2

2011-08-03T11:48:00.000-04:00

My first try at samosas/samboosas. Declared a success by all!

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll and a big ole Ramadhan mubarak! A told me that in Tunisia they call it "Sidi Ramadhan" or Mr. Ramadhan. Cute, eh?

So tonigh's iftar features something I've often thought of making but never have: samosas! I think most Arabs call them samboosas but they are the same thing: tasty, pastry-covered, deep-fried morsels of complete yumminess!

Now I know a lot of people get super excited when you say you are making something very cultural and then deviate from the recipe. I have some advice for them:

Get.Over.It.

:-D Just kidding, I too appreciate authentic recipes but as a busy _________ (fill in the blank!) sometimes I do like shortcuts. In this case I decided to use the spring roll wrappers.

Now hear me out, I had another, more pressing, reason for using the spring roll wrappers. A is sensitive to wheat (we just found this out) and also watching his carbs. Turns out the wrappers I got weren't actually rice flour ones :-( but they are still lower in carbs.

I was fully prepared to make the homemade dough. I found a great tutorial here that made the dough-making look so easy. Next time, insha'Allah....

First I made my fillings. Turns out I didn't have fenugreek or fennel seeds but I did have cumin and black mustard. I also added kalonji or black onion seed. I tasted one and decided it was be good. Alright here is the recipe:

2 potatoes, peeled, finely diced, and boiled
1/2 onion, finely diced
oil or butter
1tsp cumin seeds
1tsp kalonji or black onion seed
1tsp black mustard seed
1tsp salt
2 dried red chilis
1tsp turmeric

Heat oil in pan; just enough to coat the bottom. Saute onion til tender; add cumin, kalonji, mustard seeds, salt and dried red chilis. Fry for a couple of minutes then add drained boiled potatoes. Fry for a few minutes, add turmeric, mix well. Put into bowl to cool and mash with a fork.

Finished potato filling

I also made a meat mixture so A could eat.

1/2 onion, finely diced
shredded carrot 1/4 cup
1 cup frozen spinach
oil
1tsp cumin
1tsp salt
2 dried red chilis
2tsp paprika
1lb ground beef

Saute onion in oil; add spices (except paprika) and fry for a couple of minutes.

Add the frozen spinach and fry til it thaws and water evaporates.

Put the beef in and cook til browned, chopping up all the larged pieces with your spatula. I also threw in half a cinnamon stick. :-)

I like to cook mine for a nice little while on a lower heat so all the flavors meld. Add the paprika and shredded carrots for color (A isn't as much of a fan of Indian spices so I substituted paprika for the turmeric.)

Place in bowl to cool.

Next I cut my spring roll sheets into 3rd and, placing a spoonful of the mixture at the end, began folding them up, diagonally. You should be making neat little triangular packages. Remember to keep your pastry sheets covered with a damp kitchen towel and also the finished samosas awaiting the fryer.

Fry in medium hot oil, turning after one minutes. 2-3 min total should be sufficient. :-) I didn't take any pics of making the actual samosas; it was too time-consuming and as I wasn't experienced with it, I had to really work at it. :-) The end result was purty good though. :-)

The menu:

dates, sliced open, stuffed with small curl butter
sunflower seeds
bananas
water/milk

Mushroom soup with left over meat samosa filling added
salad with avocado and boiled egg.

Cheesecake for dessert.

The mushroom soup got a make over too. I didn't have enough left to serve the entire family so I made another roux of butter and flour, added equal parts chicken broth and half-and-half, then put the remainder of the beef/spinach mixture in. It gave the soup a lovely color and it's even more hearty now. Plus there is enough for us all, yay! :-)

Heat through til bubbly but not boiling and enjoy "spiced up" leftovers. :-) Ma salaama!

30 days of iftars: #1

2011-08-02T12:04:00.000-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. Ramadhan mubarak! Most (or all?) of the ummah started fasting as of last night. I was thinking about doing a 30 days of iftars series and post what we eat. Sometimes it'll be interesting and yummy, sometimes straight-forward, plain, or even "I'm so sorry your family had to eat that!". LOL

Anyway we have decided to keep our fast-breaking meals pretty simple, none of that over-the-top, all-you-care-to-eat mindset. Last night we broke our fast with dates, bananas, strawberries and buttermilk. I also provided water.

After maghrib we ate our meal. It was very light, home-made chive and mushroom soup with a nice salad. I did top the salad with some protein (boiled eggs and turkey) and added avocado to the lettuce, cucumber and carrot mix. A uses olive oil with lemon while the kids prefer bottles dressings.

The creamy mushroom soup I first made about 7 years ago. I saw it in my Taste of Home magazines and it was super-yummy. A requested a creamy mushroom soup so I was excited to use this recipe again.

Here is the recipe I used:

2 pounds of mushrooms (I used baby portabella and white button variesties) roughly chopped
1 stick of butter, no substitutes
1/2 cup of flour
pinch of salt
5 cups chicken broth
5 cups of half-and-half REAL dairy cream not creamer!
1 bunch of fresh chives (about 1/4 cup or so) finely chopped

Alrighty, saute your mushrooms in the butter until tender. Also let the liquid released from the mushrooms to evaporate. Add in your flour, bit by bit, stirring with a whisk. Don't let it brown, just cook it for a couple of minutes.

Love this heavy, copper-bottomed kettle. :-)

Add the chicken broth slowly, stirring to fully incorporate it. Bring to a boil and continue for about 5 minutes, stirring often.

Nice, bright, and fresh; love chives!

Lower the heat and add the half-and-half and chives. Mix thoroughly and reheat gently. Serve steaming hot with a nice crusty bread.

If it is thinner than you want, you can always add some instant potatoes (spoonful by spoonful) or mix about a tablespoon of cornstarch into a small amount of cool water, mix completely, and then add while stirring to the hot soup.

This is very yummy, deliciously rich, and a bit decadent. It is a bit expensive to make as it calls for fresh ingredients, real dairy products. Worth it as an occasional splurge.

Ma salaama ya'll!

Yummy little bites

2011-07-29T20:00:00.000-04:00

Go ahead and get a cold glass of milk!

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. Decided to try for a lighter and yummier post. My stepdaughters found this recipe in the Discovery Girls magazine and wanted to give it a go. I had to tweak it a little but the end results was sooo scrumptious! Really it reminds me of a reese's crisp bar. Totally worth the tiny effort it takes to make. :-D

First take:

4 tbsp butter, softened
1 cup powdered sugar

Cream these together. Actually it doesn't so much cream as kinda blend together. Next add:

1/2 cup peanut butter

Mix thoroughly and then mix in:

1 cup Rice Krispies/crisp rice cereal

Mix it gently so you don't squish all the little puffy bits. Roll into small balls then dip them in:

1 container chocolate frosting, heated til melted

Now 1 container was waaaay too much but then again, this recipe should really be doubled. I didn't want too much temptation so I made the smaller batch. Anyway you will have leftover frosting; make a cake or something!

Of course these can be decorated with a contrasting frosting drizzled on top or any other variations but we are pretty simple around here.

This is also a great thing to do with the kids or let them do alone (the older ones). However I have a kitchen control issue and I did it myself. I know, that's no fun, and I'm trying to lighten up. :-)

Alright, pop them in the fridge to harden faster and enjoy! Warning, these are pretty darn addictive so be ready to want to eat faaaar more than you, in good conscience, should. Yum Yum!

Of course, I could have spent my kitchen time more wisely by making, say, homemade garlicky tomato sauce but then my hands wouldn't smell like peanut butter!!! ;-)

Enjoy!

Ya can't win for losin'

2011-07-25T09:55:00.002-04:00

Anders Breivik, poster-boy for terrorism. And no, he's not a Muslim.

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. "Ya can't wain for losin'" is a southern-ism that means, simply put, you're screwed. :-) It doesn't matter what you do so don't worry.

Of course this isn't an Islamic perspective; we believe in qadrAllah and that He has a perfect plan. However, sometimes, life just feels that way.

Especially for Muslims in the West or those whose lives are affected by Western media perceptions of Muslims. BTW that's everyone because the US and its allies have effectively declared war on the Muslim world since the crusades and baby, it ain't stopping anytime soon.

Is this a call for jihad of the armed nature? Nope, so none of my detractors need call the FBI. This is, however, a rant about the media and their need to feed into the Islamaphobia which is gripping the world.

There was a tragedy in Norway. Almost 100 people dead, brutally murdered.... TERRORIZED by a gun-wielding police pretender. Now when this first happened speculation was rampant. None of that silly "Innocent until proven guilty". It was guilt by association; if there is a terror attack, it WAS done by a Muslim. You know, that kinda attitude.

Of course, now that Osama bin Laden is dead, who do you blame? Al Qaeda who, for all intents and purposes, appears to be defunct? Since the "Arab Spring" and Osama's demise, really nothing much has been heard from these people.

So it was just that quiet speculation, the yahoo user comments, the attitude of anyone and everyone who believes Muslims are the end-all, be-all of terror.

Then the truth came out. Oh waiiiiiiit, it wasn't a Muslim. It was a run of the mill white guy, native to his country, another home-grown Timothy McVeigh.

Suddenly the media maelstrom abated. For a day not a lot was said about it except an outpouring of sympathy for the victims. The witch-hunters were silent. I mean, come on, how can a WHITE GUY, a purported CHRISTIAN, be a terrorist? Nuts! (Once again, ummm, Timothy McVeigh.)

Then it happened. Ahhhhhh the magic potion, that pretty little factoid that got the voracious appetites of the ever-hungry Islamaphobes salivating.

Anders Breivik hated Muslims. A-ha! We KNEW it! Those damned terrorists (aka Muslims) were behind it after all! I mean wasn't Anders accosted or abused by a Muslim at some point? His job lost to a brother with a higher degree and a better work ethic? (Cause they don't replace indigenous workers with foreign workers who can't do the job better... or yeah, sometimes cheaper. Blame the companies!)

Sorry I got lost a tangent. I'm back. :-D

Anders hated Muslims. Therefore Muslims are the cause of this tragedy. Now the western media had headlines! I read several headlines on yahoo news, AOL, etc that now put that all important tidbit on their headline.

This type of pandering to the public's fears makes me sick. Since when do we blame the innocent for the actions of the deranged? Let's do a little comparison.

A Palestinian man fights back against the intruders, the invaders who stole his land, killed his family, and raped his country and HE, he my dear readers, is a terrorist. Hmmm ok. :-(

Now take Anders Breivik. Because he doesn't approve of the politics of his country (a country, which btw, is the ONLY country to absolutely boycott Israeli goods based on their history of torture and murder of Palestinians!) he decides to murder as many of his fellow countrymen as he can.

I ask you, who is the terrorist????

Once upon a time...

2011-07-23T07:57:00.000-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. My life has been full of ups and own, triumphs and trials. Some times one seems to prevail over the other but for me, I've always been able to see the brighter side of things. Or, as my friend and I call it, the "pretty bird" syndrome. I know I've blogged about this before but it was 2 years ago so a little refresher.

Due to my health issues, my memory ain't what it used to be. I've also had some cognitive changes. One of them is just a complete and utter inability to stay angry or upset about something. Now I've always been a positive person anyway but this goes beyond that. It's as if I were talking about something very in-depth, look up to the sky and cry, "Look at that pretty bird!" and then forget what I was talking about.

Yeah, I call it pretty bird syndrome (PBS). So to reiterate, no birds are involved, just my forgetfulness. :-)

I just wanted to call that to ya'lls attention. So you see, I can have a very personal or heartwrenching post and then in the next breath, sing the praise of a new fabric softener. (Still loving the Bounce dryer bar, btw. LOL). So I'm not really manic-depressive just pretty birdin'. :-D

Alright so onto today's topic. )Yeah, still trying to catch up for my dismal performance blogging this summer.) For some reason, I was thinking about my first solo living experience. Well that's not quiet true. I first well and truly lived alone when I was 19 and pregnant (that should be a tv show lol). I was on bedrest from 2 months onward and lived alone in my mother's old trailer. Hmmm nice times. :-/ I wasn't even supposed to stand up long enough to cook or clean, can you imagine??

I went on to have 2 more babies after that. Eh, what can I say, I live on the wild side.

What I was thinking about though was my first real apartment. For me, by me. This happened after my divorce from the boys' dad. As we lived where we worked and I no longer worked there (I was on disability for my end stage renal disease) I was the lucky girl who got to move.

We had already decided to divorce (it was at my behest... loooooong story) and the boys' dad was actually moving to another apartment on the campus. I was told, in no uncertain terms, that I was not allowed to move to the new place.

So there I sat in an empty apartment for a few days waiting for the first of the month when my new place would be ready for occupancy. I actually slept in the floor of a closet. No joke. He came and washed the carpets and the only dry place I could sit or lie down was the closet.

Looking back now I am horrified anyone could treat the mother of their children that way. I wouldn't even put my dog in a closet! Ahhh well the past is past and I pretty birded it away.

So after my few days in the closet of shame I was able to move. Oh what a gem this little apartment was. Please appreciate the sarcasm dripping from every word I just wrote. It was $350 a month which even then was by far the cheapest thing I had found.

Well let me rephrase. It was the cheapest place I could find that did not include having a single room with one lone hanging lightbulb and about 13 men living in one room on the other side. Not joking here. Oh or one that wasn't located in our local "street entrepreneur" part of town. Oh my. THAT was an interesting place.

So what did my $350 get me? Actually I got 2 bedrooms because the apartment I was in was built into a hill so the back rooms (the kitchen and a "den") had no windows. A room cannot be labeled a bedroom without windows.

Anyway I got a huge kitchen, the back windowless ~~dungeon~~ bedroom, a living room and a front bedroom with a sliding window.

Oh and I got 6.5 foot ceilings. Yeah no joke. When me, in all my 5foot2inch glory walked in, I thought, how cozy. When a 6'4" friend did the same, he said, "Oh my god, I'm gonna hit my head!!!!"

As I was the one who initiated the divorce I didn't feel it was fair to take everything. Even though we had both worked (actually I worked more than him because I had worked while he was in college) and a lot of things came from my family, I took only what I felt was mine.

My worldly possessions included the cooking utensils I had began to accumulate as I learned to enjoy making a meal, my personal effects, a computer, and a love seat. I did decide to take that because I needed somewhere to sit and somewhere to sleep. Yep, I slept on a loveseat for a while but hey, it was an improvement over the closet! ;-)

Oh and I brought my clothes. What a pitiful assortment I had! As I had lost so much weight really nothing fit. I remember going to a yard sale and buying a blue plaid pair of shorts for $.50 and found a white tshirt for a few bucks. I think my sister had given me a pair of cut-off blue jean shorts and I had a t-shirt my dad sent me from Georgia.

Honestly that was about it. All of my other clothes no longer fit after I had lost 30 lbs. Easiest diet ever; just too sick to eat. lol

So there I was; sicker than I had ever been in my life, 26 years old, practically penniless and alone. In many ways I was happier than I had ever been in my life. The boys' father was... difficult at times. He was very controlling and made my life hard in general. Please don't get me wrong, he is a great dad but as a husband, let's just say he had a ways to go.

I finally had the freedom to just be me. I could make decisions, decorate my home, go to the store when I wanted. Little things, really, but they meant a lot to me. I did have my sons; please don't think I've forgotten them. They were with me almost everyday or at least every other day. Now I have a lot of guilt for not being a 100% full-time mama for them but you have to understand my situation.

I was soooo sick. I was vomiting multiple times a day, had horrendous headaches that wouldn't go away and all the stress from the dysfunctional relationship with the father. At the age of 26 I was faced with possible death and definite surgeries, dialysis, and hopefully one day a transplant.

While at the time I think I was in denial, it really was a lot to bear. I had no support either. I wasn't religious so there was no church family. My mother had a boyfriend and a job, lived in another city, my sister was married, 2 kids, working, and my best friend and her husband were also friends with my ex. All of our other friends were from the place we had both worked and they sided with him.

Alhamdulillah for it all. During a time when I could have drowned in depression or alcohol, I did neither. I just lived the best I could. I learned to take time for me. I painted my toenails and remembered how to be feminine again. I read books and cross-stitched. I started writing poetry again that didn't have to rhyme. LOL

And I tried to give my failing body a little rest.

I remember my appetite being so poor from my illness that (along with my lack of $$$) I would buy one sweet tea with lemon every few days or so from Captain D's. They had awesome sweet tea! And every 2 or 3 days I could buy one container of veggie lo-mein for about $4 and eat that for a couple of days. I lived simply and oh so frugally.

I had about $900 a month in disability if that. After paying $350 rent, $350 car pymt, utilities, food, supplies... can you see how I ran out of money before I ran out of month? lol It wasn't hard. I tried to work briefly but my health was so bad I couldn't even last 2 weeks.

Please understand I am not saying any of this because I pity myself. I'm saying it as a way to remind myself to be grateful for my blessings, to be content and happy in this life Allah swt has given me. And, I guess, to remind myself that alhamdulillah I can survive. :-)

I think this is one of those posts that is just gonna peter out. I have no grandeloquent ending, no moral, just a reminder that life will go on despite illnesses and sadnesses and that, inside ourselves, we have the strength to be.

Ma salaama ya'll

Ramadhan retrospective

2011-07-22T16:43:00.001-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. Ya Ramadhan, ya Ramdhan.... how I love thee! No seriously. For me, as a new convert back in '06, it was a magical time. I was able to see Muslims everyday. Can you imagine? :-) Now that I have a family full of Muslims it isn't quite to fairy-tale. lol

The Annoor Masjid in Knoxville is the best! OK so when I was there sometimes we would complain about the lack of facilities for women or the infernal heat but let's face it, these issues affect most communities.

What we did have in abundance, if not space and super-cooled air, was sisterhood. I loved those Ramadhan nights! Honestly my first 2 years were months I will never forget. After that, having a small child and being busy looking after her honestly took a lot away from my ibadah. You might have read my posts about it. Sorry too lazy to link just go to the search bar or look under "i blog about".

Anyway it was just so peaceful and exciting. I would go to the masjid and break my fast. Now on a few nights it was sooo crowded and maybe food got low so Sr. Lisa and I might sneak out and grab a quick bite at a fast-food place. However on the nights when the crowd was manageable or non-existant.... ahhhhhhhhhhh the peace!

I remember sitting there, hearing Hafiz Noman reciting Qur'an. To this day he remains one of my favorite reciters. Masha'Allah he just had his Khatm; he has now learned all 7 types of recitation and is able to instruct others in all the methods. He is truly a boon for our smallish community.

His voice is so beautiful, even without understanding Arabic, sometimes my eyes would fill with tears. And the dua' he always performs on the last night is absolutely amazing. These memories will stay with me for a loooooong time.

Those first Ramadhans were in the fall and the weather, ahhhh the weather. It too was beautiful, crisp nights and cool days. Perfect for someone new to fasting. The first year I didn't pray taraweeh; I honestly couldn't keep my mind focused enough but I honestly feel it was almost as essential, those relationships I forged during that time. Sisterhood sustains us.

So oftentimes, I would slip outside and gaze up at the stars. Often I would be thinking of Abu Aaminah, as we were newly married AND newly apart awaiting his arrivial in the US. I had no way of knowing it would take another year but alhamdulillah He gave me the sabr to endure.

Aaminah was my prize. :-)

Even my third Ramadhan, after Aaminah, was beautiful but in a different way. Subhanallah everytime she heard Qur'an she would sit soooo still and just listen. She was only a baby maybe 3 months old and she listened for Allah's words like no other thing. It was amazing to me and she inspired me.

The next Ramadhan she was mobile and the masjid was off limits. We had a tiny little area for sisters so we sat shoulder to shoulder, back to back. Miskeena little Aaminah couldn't even walk and the food was too spicy so that was the year I prayed taraweeh in my home. You can read, as I said above, about this on my blog. Plus laugh at the verrrry high standards I tried to set for myself that year. Yeah, I changed them.

Praying in my home brought a new dimension. :-)

Go on to the next year. Aaminahw as bigger, we attempted the masjid ocassionally. Not so much ibadah unfortunatley but I was a single mom and worked at the masjid and was responsible for signing up iftar sponsors, buying all the non-food supplies, etc. etc. It was a hectic Ramadhan but I felt in many ways I was probably more productive and did more good fi sabilillah.

Last year I was here, married. Talk about culture shock. lol I went from quiet little iftars with friends or Aaminah and I to being responsible for cooking for a family of 6, shopping for Eid clothes, cleaning, and being uber sick. It was hard. I felt like I did absolutely NO ibadah last year. I guess I should re-read last Ramadhan to see what really happened as my memory is soo spotty.

Are ya'll still here? Good, I know I'm rambling a bit. Anyway we tried to go to the masjid a few times but the fitnah, sisters! People literally FIGHTING over food, complaining it wasn't "insert your ethnic group here" enough. It was so disheartening.

Aaminah was too young to be able to stay beside me while I prayed. Our masjid has huge marble, hard marble, staircases that are unprotected. :-( I pray in the women's balcony which had it's own stairs. So last year, no so much.

This year... well we'll see. Insha'Allah khair... Aaminah is older, maybe old enough to go to babysitting but I am afraid of the poor supervision, afraid she'll get scared or will go to find me. You know, the fears of a mama who stays home with her baby all the time.

Since this last incident at the masjid involving FOOD of all things! I am pretty sure I don't wanna go for iftar. I would rather cook myself and see if we can make it in time for taraweeh. This could be the year, sisters, this could be the year. :-)

Let's all make du'a that Allah swt blesses us and helps us to make the most of this coming time. Amin!

A heartfelt thanks :-)

2011-07-22T11:01:00.000-04:00

Don't ask, you KNOW these are halal!!!! lol

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. Really I just gotta give a big ole southern-accented "Jazakum Allahu khairan" to all of my sweet sisters who have commented and made du'a for me. Really it's times like THIS that being part of our virutal ummah is soooo amazing masha'Allah.

While your support doesn't make my problems go away your loving words and remembering me to Allah have helped tremendously.

It just gives me perspective, ya know?

Wallah it's times like these, when sisters I have never met, care enough to lend their support that I know our ummah still has so much beauty and true Islamic character in it.

Thanks and I love you all fi sabilillah!!!!!

Heartfelt post

2011-07-21T14:50:00.000-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. This is a truly personal post, the likes of which I rarely put on blogger. However it's been weighing on me for a long time and I just feel like putting some of it out there.

I've been going through a very difficult time lately. If it were just one area of my life, no sweat. Two things going wrong, I can cope. Three things?? Dude, no worries.

It's not that easy this time. :-( Besides the fact that I am sick ( and getting sicker) I just have a lot of things that need to change.

Often when we go through trials in our life our iman suffers. Up one day, down another, fluctuating as we try to cope and move past or change our situation. I am no different; I have my good days and my less-than-good ones. :-)

Alhamdulillah I at least keep my sense of humor. It helps.

Well guess this isn't so heartfelt as much as it is just to let ya'll know why I'm being a crappy, sporadic blogger lately. You know I am very good at rolling with the punches and keeping an even keel, giving better than I get... are there anymore horrible cliches I can throw out there? lol

Of course part of it is the stress of my stepchildren plus some issues with A that just need to be straightned out. Alhamdulillah he was very receptive when I spoke to him about my concerns which is important in itself. Also my health worsening has just added to it all. I don't really get stressed over it but as I feel physically worse it makes keeping up with all I need to do even harder. I also have some inner issues that I have to decide how to handle.

Wallah it just feels like a lot to deal with at one time and my patience and stamina are running low.

So for now, I'm taking it one day at a time, doing the best I can and managing to neither run away nor hang recalcitrant kiddies by their toes. :-)

Please make dua for me sisters that I get my spiritual and personal house in order and ask Allah to give me patience and MORE patience, amin.

Annoyed with blogger

2011-07-19T14:51:00.000-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. It's been realllly quiet here in blog-land lately. I guess a lot of vacations, etc. BTW, I hate the word "vacay". Nothing personal, it just annoys me. Sounds like a lazy "vacate". :-)

So I tried unsuccessful for a loooong time (longer than I want to admit!) to upload a video of Aaminah with her step-sibling and Alex. Unfortunately either blogger wasn't cooperating or maybe my connection was slow for some reason.

Anyway they didn't get loaded after trying for a couple of days, then I just got annoyed and said, "Whatev!"

So here instead, for your viewing pleasure, are some pics of little Miss Aaminah and her brother. I am sure there might be some others thrown in; really it's just a grab-bag of photos today.

Enjoy and I promise I'll get out of this literary slump and write something almost worth reading. :-)

The look of pure joy from having 4 older siblings to play with you!

I couldn't get ALL of them to look cute at once; I figured Aaminah has the most lee-way to look bad in a pic! lol

Alex sportin' Yousef's jacket. A few sizes too small!

Being gooby at Wal-Mart. :-)

I went to an Indian restaurant with Sr.Lisa and Aliyah. It was AWESOME. She loved it masha'Allah!

The end result. She even picked food up with her naan!

OK so I feel like I've at least posted something. :-) Ma salaama ya'll...

When will the summer end?

2011-07-12T11:48:00.000-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum. For the first month of summer we had guests here. For a full month, we had people here. It was so great, I loved seeing my son and my best friend but now that excitements over. What to do?

Really it's a quandary. Because of some issues in our family dynamics, I generally only take Aaminah and Zainab (the middle of A's children) with me. Sometimes I take Hafsa but often I do not. Now that it's summer and the kids are home all day it's really put a damper on our local travels. I like to take Aaminah places, to experience things, to just do stuff, get out of the apartment, be active. Now it's almost impossible because I cannot take all 4 kids anywhere with me.

Although A does work where we live he does actually work. :-) So he can't just come home and stay for 3 hours while I take Aaminah somewhere. My stepchildren have the opportunity to go places with their mother and Aaminah should have the same time with hers.

This is one of the problems with a blended family. I don't want my daughter to suffer from lack of my attention or not get to participate in things because of her step-siblings.

I really don't know a way around this. I'm not complaining for complaints sake, just hoping by writing down my frustrations I can find a way around it. I guess I was so used to being a single parent with my boys (since Zack was 5 and Alex was 2) it's hard for me to structure what I want to do around other people's schedules.

Not so much my husband. During the school year it's easy-breezy. The older ones are in school and I am home with Aaminah. We run our errands and do little fun or special things. I'm just feeling this summer I guess. :-(

I know a lot of you will say, Oh just take all the kids. I cannot. Yousef has behavior issues and absolutely will not listen to nor will he respect me. I no longer take him anywhere with me, period. So once again, back to square one. I do have some sympathy for him, because he is always sad if I take the girls somewhere fun and not him but he has to own his actions and change his behavior.

I also wanted to start preschool with Aaminah this summer as she turned 3 in June. Now it's July and we still haven't started. I have to have quiet for her to concentrate and well... let's just say, quiet isn't in our family's vocabulary. :-(

Wow, this is a pretty whiney post. I think I'll stop it here before I annoy myself! Please make du'a that Allah swt makes it easy for me, amin.

To reiterate:

2011-07-10T10:05:00.001-04:00

Map showing the Israeli "land grab"

'Nuff said.

A lofty goal

2011-07-07T11:47:00.001-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. As you know (or should!) Ramadhan is fast approaching. This is the time for us to get our behinds in gear, so to speak, so we can make the most of this blessed month.

I was inspired by Sr. Tuttie on her blog Halilify. She's made a nifty Ramadhan Battle Plan; I downloaded it for free on her website. Now, I'll be honest, I'm not saying I'm going to fill it in (a little new-agey for me lol) but I did read through it and got some inspiration.

It started me thinking about how in life in general if we don't make plans we are just spinning our wheels. Imagine, if Allah did not decree salaat 5 times a day, how many times would we actually turn to our Creator in prayer? The answer is probably dismal.

I realized I have made NO progress in memorization since I had Aaminah. Three years, ya'll. Before that, it wasn't as if I was on the fast-track to becoming a hafiza. Here's my dirty little secret:

I know 4 surat. Fatiha, Ikhlas, Kauthar, and Asr. Yep that;s it. Subhanallah. Oh yeah, I have a myriad of reasons/excuses. Busy mom, sick, no time, I don't understand Arabic, I've had a stroke/I'm memory impaired. However, it boils down to this: I haven't tried.

That's it. Allah says in the Qur'an:

"Indeed we have made the Qur'an easy to understand and remember, then is there any that will remember?" (59:32)

This is a direct admonition from Allah. He is telling us, I have made this easy for you but will you even try? Most of us don't, let's be honest. We are content to lean on our excuses and recite the same surat every salaat. Don't even get me started on understanding the Qur'an; let's take baby steps, ok?

Sooooo with this in mind, I've decided to get serious about learning more Qur'an. Now I have to decide, do I want to concentrate on memorizing or also learning to read the Qur'an?

I think for now I'll work on memorization as my primary goal. I say this because the Prophet Muhammad saws and many of the sahaba were illiterate. They memorized the Qur'an but they did not read it nor did they write it. Allah does not say, I'll make learning Arabic a breeze so I've decided to just focus on what He did promise.

That I, too, can learn. :-) That's a promise I'm gonna rely on for sure.

So I asked my husband for advice on how to structure my learning. It goes against my personality to learn bits and pieces here and there; I want something that makes sense. So of course we discuss the juz or chapters/divisions of the Qur'an. I want to say, I'll learn Juz 30 but I don't wanna set myself up to fail.

I've decided to start at the end and work my way back. As we know, typically the shortest surat are at the end of the Qur'an; there is a sweetness in completing and conquering and I want to taste that. So I am going to start with An-Nas.

I would love to have some of you guys join me. Insha'Allah you are all past what I've managed but I am positive we all have more to learn. If we start now, hit our stride during Ramadhan, by that time it will be second nature and insha'Allah we'll keep it up.

I think the biggest disappointment of Ramadhan is when we make positive changes but they only last the month and then peter out. For example, who is EVER late for maghrib during Ramadhan? Ha! Nobody! We are all jostling for a drink, a date (the yummy halal kind!), some fruit to break our fast. So alhamdulillah after last year my family and I have kept to that. We pray maghrib on time.

ON TIME. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. And alhamdulillah we are better for it and insha'allah earning the pleasure of Allah.

So my goal, to restate: becoming serious about learning more Qur'an. I will NOT give myself a time limit or a specific goal other than to work on it everday.

Every.Day.Period. No excuses, no "I'm tired" cause I'm sure if something really fun came up I'd find a way to do that.

Please made dua that Allah swt guides me and helps me in my goal. Please join me if you like and post updates here on my blog or on your own. I want us to inspire each other, sisters!!!

Oh and my house guest is gone. Of course I miss my friend but now it's back to business as usual. ma salaama!

Buyer Beware!

2011-06-30T12:36:00.000-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. I just got my haircut yesterday; finally found a salon here with a private, FULLY-EQUIPPED room. None of that hiding in a utility closet crap. :-)

The hairstylist did a great job masha'Allah. My hair looks and feels great! So great, in fact, I called her back today to find out what type of product she used on my hair.

Turns out it was Moroccanoil (tm) a relative new-comer to the western beauty industry but used for centuries by indigenous Moroccans. Apparently its great for more than hair, leaving skin soft and supple, even helping with other skin conditions.

I decided to source it out and look for the best price. However, on eBay they list the country of origin or where it ships from. Almost all of them said Israel! I did a bit of digging and found out the main brand sold here (and touted as being the only 100% verifiably pure one) directly supports Israel!

One google search showed a website which proclaimed "Support Israel with your purchase!".

I don't have to say (I hope) that I didn't purchase it and am looking for a halal source. You all have to understand, I do not hate Jews. I hate Zionists. I hate those people who oppress, murder, and displace my brothers and sisters. I refuse to knowingly support the Israeli state.

As I am writing this, I decided to listen to Invicible's song "Emperor's Clothes". You can find my original post here. Here is an excerpt from her song:

"Look, I'm Israeli, my government's so arrogant, war criminals who call Palestinians terrorists for resisting extinction and occupation???".

Also from her song "People not Places" she raps:

"My Ima misses people not places, has she seen the towns with names in Arabic that Hewbrew replaces? The policies are evil and racist, deceitful and heinous, you'll never be a peaceful state with legal displacement".

This is from an ~~Israeli~~ person with a moral conscience, religion isn't applicable. May Allah swt guide her, amin.

Anyway just wanted to encourage everyone to be more aware of where they get their goods and who it benefits. Ma salaama ya'll...

Long awaited picture post!

2011-06-28T17:42:00.000-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. Remember that show with Bill Cosby, Picture Pages? Got that stuck in my head now from this post: "Picture pages, picture pages, time to get your picture pages, time to get your crayons and your pencils..."

Awww the sweet innocence of young life! BTW I never had the picture pages so I was always kinda wondering what he was on about but still liked the song. lol

Aaminah is sitting on the balcony as I type, playing quietly with some small stuffed animals and randomly drawing on herself with sidewalk chalk. :-) I know I am too picky about her getting dirty sometimes but one good thing about me is when I notice a failing I try to remedy it. So I am letting her color her little feet in chalk til her heart's satisfied. I mean, is it really a big deal?

I wish I could hear her conversation but I know if I butt in it will ruin the moment so I'll be content for now to just be a silent voyeur. Hmmm I think that's redundant, pretty sure voyeurs are always silent. Anyway...

I wanted to post some photos of our visit with Alex but looks like it's gonna have to wait. My little Picasso just walked in, all dusty and chalky. Masha'Allah gotta love her!

**************************************************************************

OK it's a day later so another salaam is in order. :-) I don't know how much time I'll have before her highness wakes up so here are some pics for ya'll to ponder and enjoy, insha'Allah. :-)

*************************************************************************

Ok it's ANOTHER day later. A'salaamu alaikum!!! I started to upload the pics and then realized... I lost them. :-( Actually I lost all of my photos. Every.Last.Stinkin'.One. :-( Yes, I can appreciate the irony. I had just urged, rather vehemently urged at that!, all of my readers to back-up their photos.

Then I lost mine.

In my defense, I was in the process of cleaning up my photos, reorganizing, and READYING them for backup. Yes, again, the irony. lol

I tried for hours, literally, to retrieve them to no avail. I downloaded at least 5 programs designed to scan your hard drive for unintentional deletes.

Nothing.

Then my friend Sr. Lisa said, "Oh this happened to me last year" sat down and promptly found them. Yay! Alhamdulillah!

How you ask? By doing a system restore. However it seems that my photos from Alex's visit didn't make it to a back-up point. Boo hoo hoo. Really I am a little sad but what good will it do? I will try to back it up again but I think they are just gone.

So that's how this came from being the "Long awaited picture post!" originally intended for 2 days ago to the "Dang it!" post. :-)

Ma salaama ya'll....

This isn't my ummah

2011-06-25T00:29:00.002-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. I'm not sure how much I've shared about my current masjid on here. I really miss my old one, which I loved even before moving away. However, absence surely does make the heart grow fonder.

My current masjid is fairly segregated. The Indo-Paks stay with the Indo-Paks, the Egyptians with the Egyptians, Somalis with Somalis... yeah you get the picture. Of course I've met a few very sweet sisters of all different nationalities and ethnicities alhamdulillah but they appear to be few and far between.

This masjid does offer weekly Friday night halaqas with dinner afterward. We've went a few times but never very often. During Ramadhan last year, I pretty much swore off going to the masjid because of the crowding and the horrible manners of the people.

Time often makes us forget.

So tonight I decided to take my friend Lisa and her daughter plus myself and my two stepdaughters. (Aaminah fell asleep before we left.) The halaqa was nice but even through the website said it started at 7:45 it didn't start til 8:30 so we waited a long time. It lasted an hour masha'Allah and by the time we prayed maghrib, had the halaqa, and the food was ready it was 10:15. So pretty late right?

Anyway I go downstairs with my friend Lisa. She is pregnant masha'Allah and has several other health conditions that make walking very difficult for her. I am well... me :-) with my myriad of problems so my stepdaughters offered to get a plate for both me and Sr. Lisa. Very sweet masha'Allah.

We get downstairs and the typical territorial behavior is on display; this table is for the Masris, this one is only Moroccans, etc. I find a table with just 2 girls at it. Apparently they try to say we can't sit but there are no plates at the table and only these two girls so I take one of the 8 chairs available. I am not going to stand to eat when there is a free table and I am definitely not going to stand while 2 young girls sit.

Apparently this was a mistake. No sooner did I sit down with Lisa than the girl's mother starting gesticulating and talking in Arabic. Sorry I'm not budging. She is in the back of the food line and it always takes a long time for the sisters to get their food. I have plenty of time to eat, plus do they really need all those chairs?

During the entire 10 minutes I am trying to quickly eat my dinner so I can catch the Isha salaat, we are getting the stink eye big time from these Arab sisters. There a lot of catty looks, outright stares and muttered phrases. OK yeah I get it, you dont' want us at "your" table. Tougha-lucka sister, we're sitting here.

The catch? There were plenty of seats for their family plus some random chairs scattered here and there. Anyway the grouchiest woman tries to come over and take the seat Sr. Lisa's daughter Aliyah had just stood up from. Lisa says, "No I'm sorry, my daughter is sitting there". Apparently that threw the woman into a fit. Uh-huh, ok.

It was ludicrous, to say the least. I head upstairs for prayer but Sr. Lisa stays behind because she has to help Aliyah eat. I get back and the stink-eye is still being given. Great. So much for sisterhood huh?

The next thing I know, hormonal pregnant Sr. Lisa looks at the Arab lady and says, "Are you talking about my friend?" and looks like she is about to open up a can of whoop-ass, Jerry Springer style. LOL

Apparently the woman had started pointing very bluntly at me and saying, "blah blah blah her, her, her!". She answers Sr. Lisa and says, "No, I was talking about something else," and tries to point at a Gatorade bottle. Yes, very scintillating conversation.

LOL yeah ok. So they start to talk about us in Arabic but my stepdaughter Hafsa understands and she said they were saying something like "Can't that old woman get up and get her own food" or something. They said a lot of other stuff but Hafsa said it was in a slang she didn't understand. Nice.

Are you joking me?? What kind of so-called "sisters" are these to a) not want us to sit with them, b) to talk about us in front of us and c) call us names? What???

I felt like I was in middle school, wallah.

Then came the final debacle. Someone set out ice-cream with no one to serve it. All hell broke loose. Misakeen little kids were standing in line and some sisters (also the ones who were so rude to us) started breaking the line and physically pushing the little kids! They were grabbing bowls and taking serving spoons away from others.

Most of the little kids didn't get any ice-cream. It was ridiculous. My friend Sr. Lisa went up to try and restore some order but it was a lost cause. She did help a couple of little kids get theirs but the sisters had big bowls for themselves.

I'm telling you sisters, my heart is so sad right now I could cry. At first I was annoyed by their lack of manners and their obvious rudeness to me and my friend but then, especially after seeing how they acted over some generic $5 a gallon ice-cream, I just felt defeated.

This feeling has stuck with me all night. As we were leaving a group of teenage girls dressed in skin tight pants and see-through hijabs saw me walk past in my khimar and abaya and looked me up and down and gave me ugly looks. I know this cause I was in front of the rest of my group and they all saw these girls and were thinking..."Um why are you staring like that?"

So I drive home just feeling disbelief and unhappiness and yes, a little anger at the state of our ummah. As I neared my home, I had to stop by our local convenience store for some milk. I put it up on the counter and the young clerk asked me if I had seen the date. Apparently the milk was expiring that day.

"Oh no I didn't notice, thank you" and I started to turn to go get another gallon. Masha'Allah he insisted to go get it for me and was nothing but kind and polite the entire time.

As I walked back to my car, I could feel tears pricking my eyelids. I was treated so much kinder by a stranger at the store than I was by someone I should be able to call "sister" and turn to if I ever needed anything.

I miss my old masjid. :-(

The weirdest thing happened to me today...

2011-06-22T19:59:00.000-04:00

Just another example of awkwardness. :-D

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. When I say the weirdest thing, I should say THE weirdest thing EVER happened to me today.

OK that's a lot of pressure but it was really really strange. :-)

Let me preface it with a back story. About a month ago I had taken Aaminah to the local library. We were outside enjoying a snack on the beautiful spring day when a woman approached us. She was... interesting. She started asking me if I was a Muslim, if I was hot the way I was dressed :-P and if my husband allowed me to drive! She also wanted to know if I was allowed to work.

I said, "No I choose not to work. My husband works for me and brings me his paycheck home." LOL Anyway she had no compulsion about asking me anything and everything but I tried very hard to be kind to her as I felt she was perhaps a bit slow and definitely lacking in social graces.

Anyway today my friend Sr. Lisa and I were going to the local Salvation Army store for 1/2 off Wednesdays. (Yes! I love them!) Anyway as we got out of the car, that same woman approached us. Sr. Lisa was kind of taken aback as the woman appeared to know her (probably got us confused although we look nothing alike, save our heads are covered!).

As I rounded the car she was asking, "Are you guys sisters?" In my last conversation with her, I explained the sisterhood concept in Islam. I answered affirmatively.

She then proceeded to tell us the following:

"I have this friend who wanted me to be her Lesbian lover a year and a half ago. I don't know what to do. Everytime I see her, she asks me to be her girlfriend and does this at me."

The woman started gyrating her hips and wiggling her breasts in a sexual pantomime which left both me and Lisa speechless. WTHeck????

Sr. Lisa looks away in acute embarassment and alhamdulillah I had to presence of mind to take over the situation.

"I'm sorry but I really cannot help you with this issue. This isn't a conversation I am comfortable having and we have to go. Now."

LOL It was sooooooo awkward! I mean, who does that????? First off, what are we, a Muslim version of Ann Landers? Relationship advisers? And what exactly, pray tell, about us makes her think we are the ones to have her back in a spurned-lesbian-advance situation???

I have possibly never been in such a publicly awkward situation. Never. Insha'Allah I never will again!

As we hurried off, the lady calls out, "Please pray for me..." and I assure her, "Oh yes, we will definitely pray for you!".

Oh.my.goodness.

Ma salaama ya'll!

Cute family movie

2011-06-20T08:23:00.001-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. I think I mentioned my friend Lisa is here right now for a long visit (yay!) and we decided to take the kids to see a movie. We ended up choosing "Mr. Popper's Penguins" and it was really cute.

There were a couple of iffy scenes in it but nothing over the top even by more modest standards. The humor was mostly clean, a couple of penguin bathroom jokes but hey, kids love poo! I enjoyed it myself; there were a lot of pop culture references so they parents could get a chuckle too.

Really the only down-side (besides the exhorbitant cost: $60 for 5 people, 2 drinks and 1 popcorn) was the fact that really it's geared for older kids. Aaminah enjoyed the penguins but a lot of this movie was follow the dialogue kinda thing which made it less appropriate for children under 5 in my opinion.

Aaminah had great behavior masha'Allah but her attention lagged a few times. All I can say is alhamdulillah for the huge bucket of popcorn. :-D

In terms of good, clean family fun, I would give this an A but beware for those under 5. Also I loved Mr. Popper's assistant Poppy's love of alliteration caused me more than a few giggles and smiles. What can I say? I'm a sucker for that sorta sound! ;-)

Oh my other recommendation: just wait til it comes to your local redbox or netflix. It's not one of those movies that demand to be seen on the big screen.

Ma salaama ya'll...

Another milestone...

2011-06-18T10:09:00.000-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. Btw, my last entry was post # 250; subhanallah! Like most busy moms, I don't always get to finish what I start so I feel like I've done a fair job with keeping up my blog; 2 yrs and 250 posts later, I'm still here. That's a testament for multi-tasking. :-)

Alhamdulillah my best friend Sr. Lisa is up from Tennessee right now. Can I get another Alhamdulillah? I am really happy she is here with her sweet, funny daughter Aliyah. Lisa is 26 weeks pregnant masha'Allah and I've not seen her all pregnancy. It's so sweet and cute; I love pregnant tummies. Since she's my friend, I get to do the Buddha-belly rub. Yes! I even felt the little buddy kick. (Insha'Allah it's a boy.)

My posting might still be sporadic so just a little heads up. I really miss my son but I am grateful for the days he was here. As we "speak" he is on his way to Guatemala for a working mission trip. Meaning not calling people to Christianity but doing work for the community. As Guatemala is 95% Christian, this is more of a charity trip than a proselytizing one. :-) Insha'Allah my sons stay safe and are a great help to the indigenous peoples they are going to assist.

The past few days I've had many ideas for posts but no time. If I forget to write down my idea, it's usually lost to the void. Insha'Allah they'll resurface at a later time.

Oh yeah, I do have some photos of the visit. I have to admit, I am not best photographer when it comes to special times. I am too busy enjoying them to worry about staying behind a lens. I did want some photos so I would sporadically pull out the old camera and point and click!

I purposefully did NOT take pictures of his departure. It was hard enough and I didn't want to feel sad everytime I looked at the photographs. Wise move, grasshopper. :-)

Oh I've also been trying to re-arrange/re-tag all of my photos on the computer. When I upload my pics, a little box pops-up that allows you to place tags. So, for example, if on that particular day I had some pics of a sewing project, dinner photos, and Aaminah, I would type the following:

"crafts, recipes, Aami" I thought by placing the commas in between it would make individual tags.

Nope. It made the tag "crafts recipes Aami" which is counter-productive if for example I wanted to pull up all my craft photos. So now I am going through and re-tagging. It's painstaking work but fun for me and I'll be so happy with my new improved photo storage system.

Oh a little reminder for us all, BACK UP YOUR PHOTOS NOW. Don't delay it; get some DVDs or buy online storage. Whateva. Just do it. I lost a computer 4 yrs ago and all of my digital photos from that time period are gone. My boys during their formative years. :-(

I kept the computer for a long time because I really wanted to try to retrieve them. I finally threw it away when I moved here to MA. :-( Anyway a lesson for us all, a painful one, so....

BACK UP YOUR PHOTOS AND IMPORTANT DOCUMENTS NOW. OK that concludes my public service announcement for today. :-)

Love ya'll fi sabilillah!

:-(

2011-06-16T00:27:00.000-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll.

Alex left today; I really don't feel like posting. Maybe in a few days. It was a great visit, I cried after he got on the plane to go back home.

I.hate.to.cry.in.public.

Period. (In case all of the (.)s above didn't make my feelings plain enough)

I just turned to face the window and watch his plane take off. Then Aaminah was sad, of course, that her big brother had to go back home and kept asking why so I had to "man-up" and be happy for her.

It sucks being a twice-a-year parent. :-(

Yippee!!!!

2011-06-05T22:18:00.000-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. As you should know from looking at my counter above, my baby Alex is coming TOMORROW to stay for 10 days. I am so excited as is Alex and Aaminah. :-)

That said, I'll probably (and with good reason!) be a little quiet on the blog front. I might do a post or two during some down-time but for the most part, it's be pretty quiet here. Just wanted to give ya'll a heads up.

I had actually thought to churn out a quick post of some substance but alhamdulillah some last minute issues kept me too busy today. He'll be in at 10 am in the morning (his flight leaves at 5am!!!!) so tomorrow is a done day for me.

So everytime you peek in here and find it quiet just smile and be happy for me that I am with 2/3 of my heart right now. For those of you who have to take your shoes off to do math, that means Zack is the other 1/3. LOL Just teasing...

Insha'Allah ya'll have as blessed and happy a 10 days as I will! Ma salaama...

Hey UCB, yeah you know me!

2011-06-04T17:19:00.001-04:00

Alhamdulillah-hir-rabbil-alameen!

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. I hope somebody understood the pop culture reference of my title: the beat of Yeah OPP, yeah you know me" popped into my head when I was thinking of a title.

Many of you may be confused as to what a "UCB" is, exactly. That's ok, apparently they are confused as well!!! ;-) UCB is the initials of a term I coined with my best friend. We've all met them before (although we might not have known it!) There is even a female counter-part to this elusive animal and they are called UCSs.

No clue? That's alright, I'll "out" them for you. UCB refers to UnderCover Brothas and obviously, UCA is for the sistahs. I'll write out a couple of scenarios to describe this phenomenon a little better.

1. You are at the mall and a man walks past. Your spidey-sense screams (silently) "There's a Muslim nearby!" (In the west, where any muslim sighting often remains rare, it is indeed a moment for spidey-sense tingles.) He could be any other man at the mall for all you know by looking at him. So what makes him a UCB?

Well the fact that every week you've seen said bro sportin' a thobe/kameez/(insert your cultural dress here) and kufi combo and salaaming left, right and center. Masha'Allah to the brother for his dedication to show up at the masjid and sticking to his roots.

However, when you in your happiness to see another muslim, throw a sisterly "A'salaamu alaikum" his way, he walks past as if it never happened. At quite a faster clip than before, btw.

Say whaaaaaaa? :-D OK onto scenario #2.

2. A very nice woman steps onto the elevator. She has the Muslim ethnic look but you can't tell by that. No hijab but most telling, no salaam. Hmm ok no problem. After riding 3 floors in silence, she looks at you (in khimar and abaya) and asks, "Are you Muslim?". Hmmmm no I just like to dress fancy. :-)) I nod my assent and smile.

So masha'Allah sister says, "Oh I'm Muslim too". No salaam, just that quick mention. You say, "Oh masha'Allah". The doors open and another person gets on. Sister quickly looks away and conversation ends.

You travel 3 more floors together.

Awkward. lol

BTW, the spelling of "awkward" is awkward. Nice when words showcase themselves.

Alrighty... onto #3.

3. You've been seeing a particular physician for a year and a half. During this time, you always appear in front of him covered and several "insha'Allah" or "alhamdulillahs" have probably slid through your lips. He is from the sub-continent, you know that much from the one time you tried to talk to him about something other than white blood cell counts and allograft survival.

BTW, despite wearing clothing that is very identifiable as that which Muslims wear and speaking of your family (all of whom have Muslim names) never a word is breath about being a "muslim". :-) OK no problem, your physicians don't have to be Muslim.

Then...after a year and a half, you come down the stairs from Jumah and see him. Yes, your Dr. Standing there after salaat, chatting away with several other brothers, waiting for his wife to finish her sunnah prayers.

He turns around, sees you, and looks visibly surprised. It's like, "Hey buddy, I've never hid I'm a Muslim, don't look so surprised to see ME here". LOL

You give him salaams which he returns and you go on your way.

OK I guess by the time I got to that last scenario you probably had figured out all of those things happened to me. Those and many, many more. :-) I think one of my personal "say what"s is the very nice doctor who treated me in the ER.

She had a typical Arab name and was absolutely gorgeous. Long dark blond hair, flawless make-up, penciled in eyebrows... no hijab, a low-cut shirt. Hmmm OK so I think to myself, wellll her name is an Arab name but maybe her family is Christian or something. So I say nothing except hello.

After about 5 minutes she says, "Are you Muslim?" I swear I get this more from Muslims than non-Muslims!!! Which already confuses me but whatever. I answer in the affirmative and she says, "Oh I am too but I don't practice".

I never know WHAT to say. This has happened to me more than once. What do you say?

"Oh well, I do". lol

or

"I'm sorry".

or

"Why not?"

or

"Then what exactly makes you Muslim?"

Sorry if ya'll find that judgemental but that's just the truth about what runs through my head. It's awkward :-) and I just end up standing there and saying "Oh."

This obviously isn't based on scientific research;-). I'm just stating my observations, based on REAL LIFE events.

Like the cockroach said, "whatevs". LOL

It's a crazy world, ya'll.

Hmmm breakfast casserole..... :-)

2011-05-30T17:01:00.001-04:00

Gross, just realized the sour cream looks like melted vanilla icecream. LOL

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. I decided to make a crustless-quiche/breakfast casserole today. I wanted to make a huge dish so 1) there's enough for my big family and 2) so we would have some leftovers. Anything time-intensive I like to make enough for more than one meal.

Oh btw it looks like I'm on a casse-roll. Get it? I just posted about hashbrown casserole and now I'm posting about breakfast casserole. Never mind. LOL

Here's what you need:

15 eggs (we gots a big family)
non-dairy creamer liquified (or use milk/cream)
1 tbsp chipotle peppers in adobo sauce or your favorite hot sauce
2 cups shredded cheese
1/4 tsp salt
1 lb. turkey bacon (can use any breakfast meat you like)
1 cup frozen, chopped spinach
chopped onion; I just used 1/2 cup cause I had it already cut in the fridge. Otherwise, I'd use a full cup.

Anyway, I used a really big 11x15 casserole dish. If your family isn't so big, just half the recipe and pop it in an 8x8 or 9x13 pan. I took a pound of turkey bacon, chopped it fine and browned it til crisp but not fully cooked. Added some chopped onion in the last batch (I had to brown it in 3 batches or it sticks together like gangbustas!) I beat 15 eggs with a tablespoon of minced chipotle peppers in adobo sauce and about 1/2 tsp salt. Added a dash of reconstituted non-dairy creamer (feel oh-so-free to use milk or real cream!) and set aside while finishing the bacon.

I thawed about 1 cup of frozen spinach and wrung it dry. I mean just as dry as you can get it so it doens't make a soggy casserole. Then I mixed the bacon/onion combo with the squeezed spinach. Added about 2 cups of cheese, any type you prefer, shredded.

I mixed all of these in my casserole dish so the grease from the bacon (just a little, turkey bacon is pretty dry) would help the eggs to not stick on the bottom of the dish. Greased it for me. :-) Then I carefully poured the thoroughly beaten egg mixture over it.

I got to thinking (uh-oh!) and decided, after pouring the egg mixture on top, to gently stir it around. I didn't want areas without any egg. It worked out fine so anyway you wanna do it is good.

Pop it in a 350 preheated oven for 35 to 40 minutes for the larger size. I do NOT eat underdone eggs so this step was critical. Just pull it out at 30 and check if the center is set and a knife comes out clean when inserted. You don't want rubbery overcooked eggs either. I have a suspicion our oven isn't spot-on so I have to play around a bit with the temps.

Anyway it turned out nicely, everyone liked it (except Yousef who is picky for no reason- I mean he eats all of these foods separately). I did serve some sour cream on the side, it was a nice contrast between the hot casserole. Oh yeah, and let it sit for about 5 minutes before dishin' it up so it cuts nicely. :-)

After making that huge pan we had about 5 pieces left, enough for A and me to have breakfast tomorrow. :-)

A word of advice: there is a bit of prep with cutting and cooking the bacon and onion so plan on taking about 45 minutes start to finish, 1 hour if you have a cute little sweetheart who just loves to help her mama cook. :-D

Ma salaama ya'll!

Do you have a recipe for...

2011-05-29T13:00:00.000-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. I'm looking for a super-yummy recipe for an eggplant-yogurt dish I had a couple of Ramadhans ago. I'll try to explain it the best I can and insha'allah I'll get a ~~delicious~~ fast response. :-D

It was yogurt with slices of fried eggplant and had a really tasty oil (tarka?) poured on top. The tarka was kinda spicy but complemented the creamy yogurt perfectly. A sweet Pakistani sister made it and I tried to get the recipe but some of it was lost in translation.

So if anyone has a great recipe they would be willing to share, I would love you!!! Also some suggestions on what it is normally served with; I just ate it plain the day I helped the sister clean up. ;-)

If I get the recipe I will insha'Allah post it on here with a pic AND a link-back to your blog. Jazakum Allahu khair!

Wudhu: the forgotten element of ibadah

2011-05-28T13:35:00.000-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. Sometimes I "stumble" across a gem from our deen that I feel I just have to share. For some of you, this is probably old hat :-) but for others it might be as illuminating as it was for me. For all of us, may it inspire and motivate us to improve ourselves. Amin!

A and I were discussing wudhu the other day. I had a question about a hadith I had heard that wudhu washes your sins away. A related the following hadith from RasoolAllah:

Abu Hurairah (radi Allahu anhu) reported that the Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “When a Muslim servant (of Allah) or a believer (Mumin) washes his face (in the course of Wudhu), every sin he has committed with his eyes is washed away from his face along with the water, or with the last drop of water; when he washes his hands, every sin they wrought is erased from his hands with the water, or with the last drop of water; and when he washes his feet, every sin towards which his feet walked is washed away with water, or with the last drop of water, with the result that he comes out cleansed of all sins.” [Sahih Muslim]

Subhanallah, how Allah forgives us! Even in our preparation for prayer there are untold blessings. So I was curious if this holds true even if you have wudhu.

For example, you make wudhu for dhuhr and asr comes around but you still have your wudhu. If you decide to make ablution again are you ridding yourself of these sins?

The way A explained it made so much sense masha'Allah. He reminded me that ridding ourselves of physical najasa (dirt) is only a small portion of why we make wudhu. We are also cleansing ourselves spiritually of the filth that has accumulated.

Imagine your ruh (soul) as if it were a sole. The sole of a shoe, not a fish. :-D Think of how it looks after you've been slogging through the mud and muck outside. It dries on, sticks there, and slowly, slowly, crumbles off, bit by bit. Usually on someone's white carpet or freshly mopped floor. LOL But I digress.

Anyway I can very easily envision our soul becoming soiled in that same manner. Maybe you spoke rudely about someone or lost your temper with your children. Perhaps it's something a little deeper; maybe you took that second look or had anger in your heart. All of these things build up in our ruh and need to be cleansed.

Of course, making wudhu does not absolve you from major sins such as shirk (authubillah!), murder, or zina but you get the idea. It removes all those small, daily sins that sneak up on us.

There are a few things you must do to get this blessing:

1. Have the correct niyyah (intention) to make wudhu to cleanse your ruh and please Allah.

2. Perform your ablution in the name of Allah by pronouncing "Bismillah" before you begin.

3. Correctly make wudhu with the proscribed motions in the correct order: hands, mouth, nose, face, lower arms, hair, ears, and feet.

4. Only make 3 of each motion. For example, sometimes my nose might still feel stopped up but we are only to do 3 times. Doing it more is makruh (disliked). After we finish wudhu we can then do more if we feel it is necessary.

5. Do not stop your wudhu to speak, dry your face, etc. This is makruh to do so.

6. You can make make dua; I've found a few different examples (look here) of this so I think it depends on what madhab you follow. This step is optional but it is used to increase the hasanat (blessings for good actions) you receive.

So insha'Allah this might have helped you view wudhu in a different light. For myself, I always felt if I had wudhu I was all set and didn't bother to make it again. Insha'allah now I will be more careful to always make wudhu before salaat unless time is truly of the essence.

And with Allah lies ALL success. :-)

Awww thanks ya'll!

2011-05-28T07:46:00.000-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. I discovered this morning that I was included in the Top 50 Muslim Mom Blogs for 2011. I was ranked a solid 32. I was very surprised and very happy. As I said before, I hope that my blog (besides being a creative outlet for myself) helps bring together like-minded Muslimahs and shares something of my religion with those who knew nothing before.

Obviously something is working. :-)

Anyway, I encourage you all to check out the list; there are a lot of blogs on there I already knew and many I've yet to discover. :-) A special shout out to Mama Mona and HijabiMommy for making it to the top 25. Masha'Allah and great job sisters!

I have to say, for me, one of the best things about being part of the blogging world is the companionship and support we give each other. Alhamdulillah we do not always have to agree with each other but I truly feel (on my blog at least) that all of my readers who disagree with my view are respectful in their comments. I like to think we all leave with a different perspective insha'allah.

Thanks for supporting my blog and even more, thanks for being my sister.

I love you all fi sabilillah!

Just some weird, random things...

2011-05-26T15:26:00.000-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. I felt like it was time for a more light-hearted post. :-) All work and no play makes Umm Aaminah a dull girl.

I realized today I have a "thing" about sinks and it got me to thinking about what other weird (or not so weird!) hang-ups I have. Depending on how genteel you are, this post might not be up your alley. Fair warning and all. :-D

Let's jump in, shall we?

Clean it! Clean it! For the love of Pete, just clean it!!!!

1. I realized the other day that sinks (kitchen and bathroom) gross me out. Maybe it's because of the little cracks and crevices that get so dirty. It doesn't matter if you clean it daily, there is always some gunk there. Totally disgusts me. Aaminah will share this phobia of sinks because I always tell her, "Don't let your hands (or feet) touch the bottom of the sink!". I clean them, I just think they are gross.

2. Another thing that grosses me out is when someone gets water to drink/use for cooking from the sprayer. I saw a friend do that once and I was like, whaaaaat? Once again, I clean it but it just seems so suspicious; it stays damp/moist and is in the kitchen which tends to be warm. Ewwwwwwww...

If this is in your home, I cannot be there. :-)

3. Fake berry smells (like airfresheners, etc) give me a headache. I only like light, clean, citrus-y scents.

4. I think this is universal but... Aaminah's tears/snot/poop/pee doesn't phase me. At. All. But anyone else's is quite possibly the nastiest thing I can imagine and I don't want near it. lol

5. If I get one bite of meat with a gristly/chew-y piece, stick a fork in me, I'm done.

Example of an indented couch button. :-)

6. Once, when I was about 5, I was entranced by the way the leather of our couch puckered around the button. You know, it kinda makes an indentation around it with gathers? Anyway, I put my mouth on it and sucked. Oh.my.goodness. Bits of dust, crumbs and other "couch debris" swooshed into my mouth. One of my grossest memories.

I used to have a basset hound; the sweetest lil thing!

7. I love the smell of puppy breath and the way their paws smell like corn chips. Shameful, but true. :-) I only included this in the list because it's probably gross to some of you!

8. I absolutely abhor seeing a man with long fingernails. It just makes me get the shivers and NOT the good kind.
9. Before my transplant, I used to get sick to my stomach a lot. If I was someplace with older plumbing and a toilet with some of the enamel worn off I couldn't use it. I would go outside instead.
10. "Grody" grout is what really gets me nauseated. You know, when the grout gets all stained from mildew and is half-peeling off? If you don't know the definition of the word grody you were not a teenager in the 80s and I can't help you. :-D

I have to stop cause I'm making my skin crawl. What things like this make you unhappy?

It's ok, I'm a convert

2011-05-23T01:26:00.004-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. This is a post that's been a long time in the making. It's been in my mind, consciously and subconsciously, something I've grappled with off and on. This might step on some people's toes but you have to know, I don't judge you. That's for Allah. I judge myself and my actions against what I believe are Allah's rules for my life. We are all responsible for our own introspection. :-)

I'm a convert to Islam. (Yah, surprise huh? I thought I'd start out with a hook. :-D) I've been through a lot of changes and I've given up some things. (That isn't really the point of this post but I'm trying to set the stage.)

I think sometimes, as converts, we feel like it's a "get outta jail free" card. Not ready to wear hijab? That's ok, I'm a convert; I'm not ready for that step yet.

Only memorized a few surat? Oh that's ok, I'm a convert; I don't know Arabic.

Still celebrating non-Muslim holidays? Don't worry, I'm a convert; my family celebrates and it's not religious for us we just get together as a family to show our love.

Don't dress modestly? Oh I'm sorry, you see, I'm a CONVERT, I don't have any cultural baggage. Abayaat are for Arabs and besides I would stand out more dressed like that.

(Yes, there are other modest options but the Qur'an tells us we should wear an over garment so unless your cute 'n trendy Shukr outfit is covered by a trench coat, it's not really doing the job. Yes you might attract attention but it's not gonna be because you look so fly. lol)

Got male friends? Oh no, it's not like THAT. You see, I'm a convert. I grew up with mixed sex gatherings, ALL of my best friends were boys growing up/ these are my husband's friends/ insert whatever excuse you like here.

Non-nasheed music/haram instruments still making your play list? Ohhh that. Yeah, well you know, seeing as how Ima convert and all and I grew up listening to music, it's just such a part of my life. My life is a soundtrack and these songs take me back to such beautiful times. :-)

Still wearing perfume/make-up out of the house? Hello! Didn't you hear me? I am a convert. C O N V E R T. I live in a non-Muslim majority country. Everyone wears it/I have bad skin/I have self-confidence issues blah blah blah.

OK I guess you get the point by now. Oh and before you type an angry comment sisters please remember: We are here to enjoin the GOOD and forbid the BAD. I have never ever ever said I didn't do any of the above things. I am fully able to see the wrong I do.

You know, many of those points are valid. Yes, wearing hijab and abayaat do cause you to stand out more. My family has never celebrated Christmas as a religious holiday. Allah never said some men and women weren't CAPABLE of just being friends. But still, it's not permissible.

I've had the same conversation with myself. I've done the wrong thing, made the wrong choice many times. I will also be judged for that so I have to really weigh what is important.

I think sometimes, we as Muslims, get so caught up in the haram/halal debate. We are so eager to find that loophole, to be able to say, "Ah-ha! So you CAN'T prove I'm wrong." Yes Islam is meant to be easy, it's meant to be beautiful and peaceful and loving.

However, as Muslims we need to look at our actions in a different light. Yes, Allah swt told us that the world He created, this beautiful, crazy, messed-up world, all in it is halal unless He tells us it's haram. This is a simple and beautiful way to view our existence.

But for the true Muslim, the one who strives to submit to Allah, we don't look simply to the black and white of halal and haram. We ask ourselves, before we think of anything else, we ask if this is something that will bring us closer to Allah.

There are many examples I could share here, but this is something (as it's not haram/halal) that I am not comfortable to list here. It's a more personal thing and deals directly with our commitment to living a life that is pleasing to our Rabb.

The few things in the "but Ima convert" list at the top aren't always clearly haram/halal. I've heard some sheikhs who have said it's ok to attend a family function as long as you satisfy requirements A, B, C, etc... Others say, absolutely not!

So how does this tie into my original ~~rant~~ introduction? Subhanallah, my sisters, I will tell you this, when this thought struck me, it immediately humbled me.

The sahaba, every last one of them, were converts. They all made that conscious choice, they chose Islam, they chose to follow the Prophet Muhammad saws, they chose to do the thing that was pleasing to Allah.

The sacrifices they made make ours pale in comparison. So we get a little teary-eyed when we think of not being there to cut the turkey on Thanksgiving? Many of the sahaba lost every family member; they were shunned, they were outcasts, they were pariahs.

Suddenly that phrase, "But Ima convert" rings kinda hollow, doesn't it? If we view the above list in that light none of them seem to be so hard to give up/to do. The sahaba, subhanallah, gave up EVERYTHING they had to be Muslim. They lost their homes, their families, their wealth, often, even, their life.

Imagine, if we could pose some of these "dilemmas" to Sumayyah, the first martyr fi sabilillah. I would be ashamed to do so, my sisters. She was a wife, a mother; don't you think she had so many things she wanted to live for? Can we for even a moment so blithely assume she was happy to be a shahid? That she wanted to be tortured and murdered, her life gone from her body?

No of course not. She wanted what most women want: to be a wife, a mother, to be alive. She wanted to worship Allah. Instead, she gave her life in defiance of those who would try to stop the message of Islam.

Would it have been haram for her to remain a hidden follower? No. But she chose to do what was most pleasing to Allah; she chose the sirat-al-mustaqeem, that straight path that insha'Allah can lead us to Jannah.

My sisters, when I think of the sacrifices made by our beloved Prophet saws, by his beautiful wives, the mothers of all believers, by the sahaba... I know that my "reasons" are nothing more than flimsy excuses dressed up in self-congratulation and victimization.

May Allah swt bless us and our families and give us the strength to hold ourselves up to the example of RasoolAllah and the sahaba. Amin.

Just a little jumuah joy! :-)

2011-05-20T13:03:00.000-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll! Here is a video of Aaminah being my sweet little dai'ee masha'Allah! I probably should have waited; she has a bit of a cold right now but she loves soo much to talk about Allah and His prophets and to learn about Islam. The iman of a child is such a beautiful thing. :-)

Enjoy!

Re-purposed skirt to toddler dress

2011-05-18T21:14:00.000-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll! You might have noticed I've been on a little craftin' kick lately. It's something that is in my blood; my grandmother is known to buy a lovely wool suit, take it home, deconstruct it, cut it down, and sew it back. Masha'Allah! She also crochets, grows lovely gardens, cooks, blah blah blah. My own mother can do painting, woodwork, crocheting, macrame, cake decorating... I can't list it all. My lovely sis crochets, knits, writes fiction, and oh so much more.

I am actually the black sheep of our crafting family. I cross-stitch but have never learned any more about crocheting than making a simple chain. :-) I have done other projects here and there (some simple folksy painting on decorations, etc) but I am no where near the skill level of my family. So I'm happy to report I've stepped up to the plate and can lay claim to the family inheritance, at least a little.

I got my inspiration for this dress via one of HijabiMommy's links. It was for tutorials on a blog called Craftiness is not optional. Super talented woman, btw! I spied her re-fashioned skirt to dress here and couldn't wait to try it out! I did a little step by step, not a tutorial or anything but just so you could see what was going on.

It was 50% off Wednesday at my local Salvation Army. I picked up this awesome blue and white striped Banana Republic skirt for a cool $2.50. Yeah, read 'em and weep! I felt a pang of guilt for taking this super-cute skirt to remake into a dress for Aaminah. ONLY because as it was, it was beautifully made and that was gonna change as soon as I got my hands on it! Here it is, pre-transformation:

Skirt before I got my hands on it! Notice the chocolate wrapper on the floor. :-D

So I took Aaminah's measurements and started a-cuttin'. :-) I turned it inside-out and made my measurements. It had a nice hidden zipper on the side but because of the oh-so-pretty pleats in the front I had to cut equal amounts off both sides. I briefly considered re-inserting the fabric strip with the zipper in the back but... I just didn't. :-) It fits over her head so alhamdulillah it wasn't necessary. I might kick myself later but for now...

close-up of the pleats. How pretty! This fabric is really nice too, btw.

I ended up not cutting any length off. For one, the bottom of the skirt was sooo cute with a mock-smocking effect and 2 layers. I didn't want to cut off the top because the waist band made a perfect top to attach the straps. It ended up being about an inch too long but I am going to do pick-ups or something; I haven't figured it out yet. Here it is after cutting off the required amounts:

Hahahaha... I cut sooo straight! Alhamdulillah I sewed a bit better. lol

I like to tell where I make errors so others insha'Allah can benefit from my mess up. Here I made a couple of mistakes. One, I really need better scissors and one of those measuring/cutting boards. My scissors are $5.96 specials from Wal-Mart. I also need to invest in some pins and USE them. Notice my erratic sewing? PIN YOUR FABRIC. :-)

Also in the tutorial the lady folded her skirt in half and cut through both at one time to ensure it was symmetrical. Ummmm yeah. I didn't. :-) Like I said, end result I don't think you can see but it sure looks funny here!

After sewing the side seams, this is what we have:

Ready for me to make the straps. Now that's another issue. Honestly, I have to get a board and good scissors! I just kinda eye-balled it; alhamdulillah they were really close in size but it could have been a lot better if I would have just slowed down. I always feel rushed when I sew (the too-busy mom guilt) so I tend to hurry myself.

Anyway got the straps sewn in and then decorated the front (mostly to hide the stitching) with some hand-made yo-yos. Cute I think.

I sewed in the straps in a V-shape in the back to keep them from slipping off her shoulder. :-) They are pretty spot-on but the dress was folded a little.

Well here is the finished product. It took me about an hour but should have taken longer if I would have done a better job. However, it's cute and the fabric is so nice and has some really awesome details so it totally makes up for any shoddiness on my part. :-)

Here is the complete dress:

Notice the awesome details on the bottom of the skirt.

So here is my list of things to look for if you want to repurpose a skirt:

1. It's great to have a zipper in it but make sure it's in a place you can keep it and use it. Otherwise you might want to get a different skirt.

2. Keep any decorations (such as the center pleats) centered. Alhamdulillah I remembered that gem!!!

3. Have good equipment! Really. That includes good thread (I bought cheap cotton and it's annoying me!).

4. Take your time. If it says it takes an hour, plan on 4 so you do things exactly right.

5. Decide how to handle the skirt liner, if there is one. In my case, I went ahead and just sewed it into the dress seams but it would have been better to have take it out and done it separately.

and finally....

6. Don't forget steps! I forgot to serge/zig-zag my raw edges. I don't have a serger but I could have used the zig-zag function on my machine. I didn't remember to (novice mistake) and I just pressed my seams flat. Oh well, live and learn!

I also bought a couple of other super-cute skirts/dresses/shirt to make into clothes for her. It's really fun for me and it's much cheaper to use $2.00 items from the thrift shop than to waste fabric at $7 a yard. :-)

If you make this, please let me know! I would love to see it. :-) Ma salaama ya'll..

Don't ya'll hate...

2011-05-15T05:06:00.000-04:00

it when a blogger writes a teaser title like "Don't ya'll hate" then only has a one or two sentence blog post?

I do; I feel cheated. :-)) Just sayin'...

Ma salaama....

The awesomeness of hashbrown casserole

2011-05-13T17:33:00.000-04:00

OK this isn't mine, I forgot to take a pic before we scarfed it ALL down. However, ti looks just like this. :-)

A'salaamu alaiukm ya'll. Yeah, this is kinda an ode to hashbrown casserole. More specifically, the yummy one served at Cracker Barrel Old Country Stores. Come on now, all my southern sisters, give them a shout out!!! :-) We actually have one up here but it's 25 minutes the wrong way down the interstate so it's really not close to us at all. Therefore, if I find myself craving the casserole, I have to get cookin'.

Alhamdulillah, 10 or so years ago I found a yummy recipe in a Taste of Home magazine. I did make a few changes, made a few tweaks, to better fit in with what I like. Even A thought this was lovely. After my addition of eggs, it even travels and serves well for a buffet or potluck. (I sent it to the kids' weekend Islamic school for a breakfast they had recently.)

Without further ado, here is my revamped Hashbrown Casserole:

*I easily doubled the recipe to serve a crowd*

2 cans condensed cream of potato soup (can use cr. of chicken if desired)
8 oz sour cream
1/2 cup finely diced onions
2 lbs frozen hashbrowned potatoes (I prefer the string kind, not the cubed)
2 cups sharp shredded cheddar cheese
1-2 beaten eggs (can be omitted; I used it to help it hold together better)
salt and pepper to taste
chipotle pepper sauce- we like it a little spicy but it's more authentic to leave it out
1/2 cup grated parmesan cheese.

Combine soup, sour cream, onions, hot pepper sauce and eggs; mix well. Add potatoes and cheese and pour into a greased 13x9 casserole dish. Bake, uncovered, at 350 for 40 minutes. Remove and sprinkle with the parmesan and bake for an additional 15 minutes or until browned.

Enjoy! You could easily add chopped peppers or breakfast sausage pieces to it if you like; we just eat it this way.

A sense of accomplishment

2011-05-12T10:22:00.000-04:00

I love the whole 50's housewife look from the lipstick to the apron. :-)

Alternate title: It doesn't take much :-))

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll and good morning! Yeah, technically it's still morning (10:22 am) but for Muslims, our day starts waaaay earlier. Say before sunrise actually. The first of our five obligatory daily prayers, Fajr, is prayed before the dawn. Masha'allah my husband stays up but after I make him some strong, milky tea (or coffee if his stomach permits!) I usually crawl back into bed.

Alhamdulillah my husband tries to implement the sunnah in his life. It is a sunnah of our beloved Prophet saws to go to bed after Isha and stay away after Fajr. Unfortunately this is one sunnah I have had trouble with. See, I like my quiet time. Alone. Completely. So I stay up til about midnight (now that Isha is closer to 10 pm) so I can have that time. Alone. Yeah. :-D

I always digress; I guess that should just be a regular feature, my introductory ramble. lol

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

As most of ya'll know, I battle kidney disease. Yeah, I'm sounding dramatic today. BATTLING KIDNEY DISEASE. However, it really does impact my daily life, more now as I've gotten older, fatter, and had so many health issues in the past 1.5 years. One aspect of my life where I've let it take control is in home maintenance, cleaning, and upkeep.

Wow, that sounds so official: The Department of Home Maintenance, Cleaning, and Upkeep. Yeah, I know Upkeep and Maintenance are synonyms but to me, maintenance is mechanical issues and upkeep is the deep, sporadic cleaning. Sorry for the definitions, but just so we are all on the same page. :-D

As I was saying, the DHMC&U has suffered greatly. I wasn't able to hire an interim director and my subordinates balked and would have mutinied, had we been aboard ship. As it was, I am just met with whining and general refusal to do said chores.

However, the past couple of weeks I've had more energy than I had been experiencing and I'm trying to take advantage of it! The other day I cleaned all the applicances and wiped down the kitchen cabinets; I've been vacuuming twice daily (morning and after supper) and just in general trying t

Let's just do a list, looks more impressive that way! What I've accomplished extra (not dishes, cooking, shopping, doctor appointments, playing with Aaminah, chauffeuring kids to school and activities, etc. etc. etc.)

1. Cleaned outside of all appliances and wiped down kitchen cabinets

2. Vacuum twice daily on most days.

3. Keep Aaminah's toys in the correct bin. You know, Mrs. Potato Head's pieces in her heiney, all small toys in one bin, all pretend jewelry and purses in another, blocks separated by type. :-) I loooove to do those things!

4. Went through Her Highness's clothing and took out TWO GARBAGE BAGS FULL of 24mo to 3T fall/winter clothing, alhamdulillah. AND found a family in need here to pass them on to, alhamdulillah!

5. Keeping the laundry to a small hill instead of a mountain. :-D

6. Washed our propane grill we bought last year. It had a layer of pollen and dust embedded in the light sheen of grease which always seems to coat these things. A pot of soapy water and a few of clean to rinse and voila! looks brand new again. :-)

7. Polished my leather sofa and love seat (and leather footstool) with lemon oil. Polished every surface except the back of the couch because it is against a wall and I didn't want to move it. ;-)

8. Took car through super-fun power washer (Aaminah loved it almost as much as I do LOL) and then vacuumed it thoroughly. It feels great to have a shiny, pretty car. :-)

Hmmm I wish I had more to pad my list but you know what? I've really lightened up on myself. When it was just me and Aaminah, with my boys at times, life was so much easier in terms of housework. Now, to keep a family of 6 fed is a chore in itself between the cooking, the shopping, the schlepping. :-D

My wish list:

1. Clean off top of my dresser.... eek! It has clothes on top along with some various and sundry junk items. Our apartment is not large, a 3BR for 6 people. It wasn't designed very efficiently and what space is here is lost in weird hallways (3 of them!) and a strange kitchen and bath.

So closet space is non-existent almost. Our walk-in closet is designed so weird you can't really store much in it. Also I get vertigo easily and I can't look up to the (too high for me to reach) rack because I get sick. :-))

2. Go through my clothes... ya Allah. What a chore that will be! I have sooo many shalwar kameez, abayaat, etc but I'm too chub for most of them right now. Some, due to my husband's preferences, I will never wear again so boo hoo. I need to find them a new home before they are so out-of-style no one wants them. :-)

3. Clean all the baseboards. Yep, pet peeve.

4. Do summer shopping for my family. I HATE THIS! Aaminah is a breeze and cheap, A is easy unless he wants some shalwar for under his qamis (thobe). Hard to source and the last ones I bought were uber-cheap material. :-( Yousef is easy but the girls.... Oh my!!!! Almost impossible to find modest affordable clothing. I think we'll be getting them abayaat from now on; we'll see how that works.

As Muslims, our first priority is to dress them modestly. We are finding it increasingly hard, especially with our budget. I simply can't pay $40 for a long skirt and another $40 or so for a tunic top. Which aren't easy to find this season anyway.

In the past, we've done dresses as shirts with a long sleeve underneath. However, the undershirts are very snug on their arms which isn't modest. The pants they wear underneath show their legs. We are commanded by Allah not to show our shape; my stepdaughters both wear hijab and are "of age" so it's not something we take lightly. We want to have a clear conscience when we stand in front of Allah.

My husband and I both would be happy dressing them in the large legged pants like you find on Shukr but we just can't swing the cost. One outfit there is $70 to $100 easily. Just not do-able. So it's off to search online for modest, affordable clothing in the correct sizes. Insha'Allah I'm successful!!! :-)

Ma salaama....

The pot calling the kettle black

2011-05-11T10:50:00.000-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. I am pretty loathe to admit this. It is absolutely horrible, hypocrital, and uncalled for. HOWEVER, it was my gut reaction and one I am sure others have shared in, whether knowingly or unknowingly.

I judged a sister for being fat.

There, I said it. Perhaps you don't really get how ridiculous this is. I am fat. (Ewww I said it. Out loud.) Anyway I am and I am (for the most part) happy with who I am. I know I have worth, I am intelligent, funny, caring, compassionate, and well.... just plain ole ME!

So here's what happened: there was a small little conversation on facebook and a sister I don't really know made a comment. Of course, I glanced at her profile pic and saw she was overweight. I instantly (and not even consciously) regarded her comment less seriously.

No, I am not joking. :-(

Anyway, I was going to comment (what she had said wasn't quite right, I felt, and I wanted to clarify an issue) but I got too busy. I logged back on later and saw this conversation again. I thought, Oh I don't think that sister is who I thought it was. So I click on her profile.

No, it wasn't who I thought it was. It was a sister but she was rather thin and had that look of an intense academic about her. Immediately I revised my opinion of her comment.

Then it hit me. Whaaaaaaaaaaat? I examined what had happened, how I had went from kinda ignoring what she said to immediately reconsidering her point.

One explanation, which I am sure is part of it, is that this sister is an educated person who is qualified to hold an educated opinion. However, that wasn't how I made my original assessment. I thought she was overweight and I ranked her accordingly.

Ya Allah, you don't know how this appalls me! Not only the issue that it was over being fat while I, myself, am fat. But also because as a Muslim, as a human being, I pride myself on being open, accepting, and non-judgemental.

Yah. I do. OK laugh, I can appreciate the irony too.

I really analyzed my reaction and I think I know why I was dismissive of this sister in the beginning. I might realllly annoy some people with this but I am prepared. This is my blog, and my experiences, and my thoughts. Good or bad. This just happens to be some of the bad. :-(

Islam, alhamdulillah, was brought to some of the more ignorant and arrogant people on the face of the earth: the Arabs. Pre-Islam they were steeped in ridiculous traditions and a multitude of gods and were adamantly opposed to any type of change. Subhanallah, what Allah can make transpire!

Our religion has always spoken to the downtrodden: the mistreated slave, the unwanted baby girls, the exploited and the mis-used. Alhamdulillah again.

Even today, those who are unwanted or uninvited to other religions can find a home in the masjid.

OK I'm beating around the bush. Let me just come out with it. I've met many many women, overweight, divorced, with children, with disabilities, with little to no education, often unemployed, etc. etc., come in and ask to learn about Islam.

After I would meet with them, the majority (90% of them) would explain how they met Mr. So and So, a Muslim, online. They got their groove on, started "dating" online, and now he's coming over from (fill in any Muslim majority country here except the Gulf, it appears). She wants to learn the basics (alhamdulillah) and find out about converting.

I would spend time with them, give them hijabs, an abaya, a Qur'an, literature; send them emails, call to check on them. Be available to answer any questions and being so willing to share the beauty of Islam and my conversion story with them. Basically accepting them as a friend even though many of the things about them personally were off-putting but I did it fi sabilallah (for the sake of Allah).

I didn't hear from most of them again. They wanted to know what any non-Muslim might want to know about Islam, to have that background information. Very few of them converted and from the few that did, they seemed content to do no more than (possibly) pray. They rarely made any effort to gain more knowledge or dress more appropriately.

It seemed the carrot of marriage dangled in front of them by some good-lookin' muslim hottie (whom they should have sensed was out of their league) enticed them change teams. And that was the extent of their interest. Unfortunately for the few who would sporadically attend the masjid or stay in contact, the "brothers" the hooked up with invariably ended up either cheating on them, already being married (without the woman's knowledge) or just out-right leaving her.

Actually one woman went to meet a so-called brother in a different state. He was surprised she didn't bring her children with her (one of whom was a cute 14 yr old girl she had allowed him to speak with!). When she questioned how upset he was, he admitted he didn't want to marry the mom at all but had anticipated her bringing her young daughter with her. He wanted to court the DAUGHTER, not the mom. Subhanallah.

(Note: she actually let her daughter marry the man at the age of 15- no I'm not joking- and now alhamdulillah that daughter is still a muslim but the mother and younger children have went back to their previous way of life. It appears the man promised his soon-to-be MIL- who used to be his fiance!- a house and car, which never transpired.)

Sorry, back to the regularly scheduled program.

So I was happy when I realized why I had this immediate and gut reaction but still very unhappy about it. I guess I should also add that the sister's' name was very obviously that of a convert so it wasn't JUST the issue of weight but also that she was a convert. Once again, yes, the irony.

Please, I don't want or need any comments about how wrong this was. Yah, I get that. I also don't need any comments from my fellow fat sisters out there being enraged. Once again, yah, I know, it was W R O N G. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.

I have prayed, and asked Allah swt to change my attitude and change my heart in this matter.

It's the little things....

2011-05-10T00:30:00.000-04:00

Well remove the "fat" part but yeah, the rest applied :-)

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. I've been feeling a bit out of sorts lately. You know, the typical mom/wife stuff: under-appreciated, over-worked, super-tired, and all other hyphenated superlatives out there. :-)

One thing that affected me was Mother's Day. As a muslim, my family and I do not celebrate any holiday other than the 2 'eids. Alhamdulillah. I don't miss them anymore but Mother's Day is a bit different. As my two boys are not Muslim and they do celebrate other holidays, I guess I kind of expected some sort of token of appreciation from them.

So most of the day passed without them calling or even texting. At first, I thought, hmm ok no problem. I don't celebrate it anyway. But as time passed I began to feel a little sad. I didn't want a gift but yeah, I would have appreciated a call you know. So then I start making excuses for them and basically feeling so guilty myself. I moved here to MA and they are in TN and I feel an enormous amount of guilt for that, for not being there for them like before.

Well alhamdulillah I sent them both a really sweet text message, telling them how happy I was that Allah swt gave them to me as sons and listing some of their wonderful traits.

And then I got ticked off. I thought, ok yeah, I feel guilty for not being there now. However that does not negate the years of love and compassion and attention I gave them. I know I have made many mistakes in my life and many mistakes as a parent but as Allah says in the Qur'an:

"And We have enjoined on man [to be good] to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him and his weaning was over two years. Be thankful to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination."[Noble Quran 31:14]

When I thought of this verse and all of the sleepless nights, school projects, ER visits, meals cooked and clothes cleaned, I get a little annoyed. Of course I forgive them, I am not angry at them, but I was hurt by their inattention.

Anyway, I was a little down about this and then alhamdulillah just some other normal things seemed to grow disproportionately. My stepchildren are a very big source of stress and fitnah for me, may Allah forgive me. I will not go into detail but it has been and continues to be a very difficult transition for me. Couple that with the fact I had to leave my 2 boys whom I love to come here and be a surrogate mother to children who do not respect me or listen to me. Can you feel the stress???

So the shaitaan had a field day. Long before night fell I was in an uncharacteristic funk. I am usually pretty upbeat and positive despite any circumstances but no how, no way was I gonna be happy tonight. Yeah, I was moping. :-)

And... the kicker... A didn't even notice. Now, I can't blame a man for being a man. They are not always the most astute creatures when it comes to understanding their wives. I know if I were to approach A and tell him, I just feel sad tonight, he would be very sweet and understanding.

But dangit, I didn't want to HAVE to tell him. Can't he see it in my face? In my quietness? In the way my whole being was just out of sync? I can always tell with him if he has a headache from how he squints his eyes or when his back hurts and he favors one leg. I JUST KNOW without asking.

My night was going from bad to worse real quick. Only negative things would come to my mind, things which I normally do not worry or stress about suddenly became the most overwhelming obstacles.

I was filled with morose doubts, disappointment, and sadness.

Finally, FINALLY, Isha passed and we could get ready for bed. I was sitting there, quieter than normal, contemplating just realllllly letting all my frustrations out. I was wasn't gonna sit here and take it anymore!

Then A asked, "Did Aaminah fall asleep easily?" I concurred yes, she did, she was exhausted, hadn't napped all day. We agreed she was a light in our lives, precious and sweet. Then A said, "Oh remember yesterday when she brought me that leaf inside?"

She found a dried leaf, leftover from fall, and insisted to bring it inside to her Baba. A present for him. I tried to dissuade her, "Oh pumpkin, it will just crumble all over my floor" but she was masha'Allah adamant. So in it came with her and she carefully deposited it in her Baba's large hands.

"Yes, I remember. She wanted to give it to you as a gift," I replied.

"Well, I put it inside one of my books to save it. One day when she is all grown up, I'll take it out and ask her if she remembers this."

Subhanallah. Sisters, I have tears in my eyes as I write this. All day long, while I let a couple of real but petty grievances color my day, my husband was saving a dead leaf my daughter had given him.

I can't really type right now for the tears blurring my eyes. Can you imagine how I felt? I was sitting there, simmering inside, wanting to tell him how his children stressed me and my boys didn't call me and how he didn't even notice how upset I was!

And he was planning how one day years from now, he was going to share a sweet moment with Aaminah.

Sisters, let's be grateful everyday for the smallest of blessings, be firm in our love, calm in our temperment, and steadfast in our patience. Amin. :-)

And the winners are...

2011-05-07T11:45:00.000-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum. It's been a (hectic) week since I announced the first-ever "Ummi of Aami" blog contest.

A whoppin' TWO people responded. LOL Yep, you read it right, two! So I've decided to be oh-so-generous and give prizes to both of my readers.

I take it that either a) the prizes I offered were too cheap or b) no one could understand the rules. Anyway if you are one of the winners please contact me with your choice of prize and your mailing address. You may send me a comment here, which I will NOT post or you may send a message to me via my blogger profile.

Thanks for reading ya'll!!!!

My two cents on the past few days...

2011-05-03T10:46:00.001-04:00

Cover of Time magazine's special edition due this week

*** Fact: Time magazine has only done 4 such covers; 3 of those pictured are Muslims. Really, no one else deserved this? How about Slobodan Milosevic, who was responsible for the deaths of 146,000 Muslims during the ethnic cleansing in Bosnia/Herzegovnia? This number is from a CIA memo btw. I am sick of media promoting Islamophobia.

Or... how about showing the US Flag, along with President Bush's photo. The number of civilians killed in Afghanistan since the start of "Operation Enduring Freedom" in 2001 numbers over 20,000 CIVILIANS, woman and children included, were killed by Allied forces.

8 of these were schoolchildren. Inna ilayhi wa inni lillahi rajioon.

How can anyone read this and NOT be sickened by it? Because one man decided to carry out his vendetta against the US for their foreign policies, it gave a right to the US to kills THOUSANDS of innocent civilians??? These numbers are verifiable and easy to find online.

Also easy to find is how much cover-up went on. For example, a pregnant woman (among others) was killed in a botched raid. Only innocent noncombatants were in the house. The soldiers pulled the bullets out of the bodies and stated all were dead when they got there. Later, they admitted to killing them and covering up their crime.***

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. I've noticed the Muslim blogging world (my little corner of it, anyway) has been pretty quiet on the recent events which have transpired. What, you-who-lives-under-a-rock, asks? I am referring to the killing of Osama bin Laden.

Just like my post about islamic_rage_boy's picture, I am over it, finished, stick-a-fork-in-me done. However, just to clarify, here is my stance:

The man responsible for planning the 9/11 terrorist attack on the US is dead. I don't believe most of the hype surrounding this story and let me tell you, I am not a conspiracy theory kinda gal. However, the perfect timing of the event (re-election, the whole "birther" debate, etc) the lack of a body, the media frenzy, all of it... well it just looks awfully convenient. Allahu alim.

I disagree with how they said they treated his body. Contrary to their statement, they did NOT follow proper Islamic protocol. Even child molesters and rapists are buried in a respectable manner, according to their religious beliefs. I cannot imagine no country would have taken his body but I can imagine many reasons why the US didn't try very hard to find a place. Once again, Allah alim.

I am disgusted by the behavior of many of my fellow Americans. Unless you actually lost a loved one on 9/11 why the heck are you looking for revenge? It didn't happen to you personally, get over it.

I believe everyone is entitled to a trial and if the US's intent was to capture him but things went awry, well ok so what. But if their intent was to assassinate him I believe that is wrong. I don't think our democratic ideals should only apply to a select few. That's a slippery slope.

I believe Osama bin Laden was misguided; I believe what he did was wrong. Muslims do NOT take the lives of innocent non-combatants. He has to answer to Allah for his sins. That said, the US and its allies should also observe the Geneva Conventions and uphold UN resolutions and stop thinking they are the police, judge and jury for the entire world.

I hated seeing the demonstrations in the streets, celebrating his death. I hate seeing the demonstrations in the Middle East or Afghanistan or wherever, celebrating the death of an American solider. It isn't civlized and it isn't good Islamic manners.

Are you all aware that in the battle of Badr the Prophet Muhammad saws insisted the Muslimeen bury all of the kaffiroon who died? Who died in hand-to-hand battle with the muslimeen? And yet, they buried them, digging 80+ graves in the burning sun. They buried them respectfully and at great physical cost to themselves; battle-worn and weary.

I think that is the least the US could have done for his body. Now let's see if they will get out of Afghanistan and leave those people alone. Their country cannot take much more American "assistance" that's for sure.

A give-away!!!

2011-04-30T17:53:00.004-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. So I wanted to do a contest; I think most people do them to generate hits so they can get more "traffic" and thus be able to advertise on their blog. Most, but I'm sure not all.

However, I really just wanna do a fun giveaway. Nothing big, mind you (especially as the chance of it being shipped internationally is quite high!) just something to say "thanks for reading!" I've had over 20,000 hits now (since I started keeping track) and I wanted to celebrate. I write cause ya'll read and I'm always hoping I can say one thing to make somebody think or open their minds to a new way of viewing the world. :-)

I was trying to decide what to give away and came up with winner's choice of the following:

1. Animal print black and pink compact mirror- really cute little mirror. :-)

2. Lanyard for holding work i.d. Great for nurses or those in security sensitive places. Suitable for sisters only, FYI.

Says "give peace a chance" :-)

3. 2 small, handmade sarubobo (from yours truly) or a small cross-stitched picture, either your name or flowers in colors you choose. :-) I don't know if the cross-stitch would be framed or not; don't want any disappointed viewers out there.

Not mine; I give away all my projects but it would be something petite like this. :-)

Hello, it's me, cute sarubobo!

OK I think that's about it. Rules for entering:

*You must be a follower of my blog. Hey, I gotta get SOMETHING out of it.

*Anyone is allowed. Um well not brothers/men (sorry for any men who might read this) because well... you should know why. :-)

*You don't have to be a Muslim to enter. Probably self-evident but just wanted to be sure you knew. ;-) We are equal-opportunity here.

*Please be patient; if you choose the hand-made option it could take up to 2 weeks before I ship it out. :-)

How to enter:

Please leave a comment below; I would love to know what type of posts you like best or if you have a favorite post of all time. :-) No constructive criticism, please. lol

Contest ends in one week. This is just in case some of my dear readers are out of town, sick, or just tired of being chained to a computer. Fair 'nough? Yep, I thought so.

I'll let the winner know with a post on here and then you will know to contact me. If you have a blog or blogger id I'll also try to get a hold of you that way ok?

Alrighty, let the fun begin!

The face of Islam- 2nd post of the day

2011-04-28T13:55:00.000-04:00

************** Warning: graphic content to follow***********

BTW, the "patriotic" website I borrowed this from named it islamic_rage_boy. Yeah.

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. Show of hands... who out here in blogland hasn't seen this pic? It's been used (and misused) for years now. Most recently in an article talking about the unrest in the middle east and northern africa. Yeah, I said it. The MIDDLE EAST and NORTH AFRICA. This brother just happens to be a Pakistani. But what the hey, they're all the same right?

At least for once they did get ONE thing right; instead of portraying all Muslims as camel-riding, turban-wearing Arabs they actually (and accidentally) showed someone who is from the ethnic group which makes up the majority of Muslims. Totally accidental I am sure.

Anyway, it got me to thinking. Yah, I know, dangerous passtime, but it got me to thinking exactly what was going on when this photo was snapped? Anything can be taken out of context, we know that. Here is a small list I've come up with:

Reason #1: Fast-food drive thru fiasco: "No, I did NOT order a strawberry shake with my McChicken. I ordered a diet coke, D I E T C O K E. Sheesh!"

Reason # 2: He was watching a reallllllly intense soccer match. "Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooal!!!!!!"

Reason #3: Telemarketers. Come on now, who hasn't popped a blood vessel a time or two dealing with their insistent smarniness? Hardly seems fair to deem him "islamic_rage_boy" for something we've ALL done, now does it? ;-)

Or maybe, just maybe, he is sick and tired of his family, his friends, his country, his religion, and his ummah being degraded, attacked, murdered, and reviled. Maybe he held his best friend as he died; died because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Perhaps he is demonstrating because he is unable to afford food for his family and he goes to bed everynight with the sounds of his children crying from hunger.

Of course he could be one of those "I'm holier-than-thou cause Ima beard-wearin', fist-pumpin' motha." Whatever the reason, the picture has been OVER DONE, OVERUSED and I'm OVER it. Do you all need some new photos to show? How about being a little more "fair and balanced"? Here are some you might consider:

Since Pakistani seems to be so popular, here is a great one, a personal fave. This was taken in Peshawar after the horrendous flooding. These babies are covered in flies and drinking from nasty soiled bottles. Aid trickled in, s l o w l y. Why? Because by dang it, no red-blooded Amer'can is gonna give money to them terrorists.

Oooooh another great memory! This is a Palestinian family fleeing an Israeli missile attack in Gaza in December 2008. By the way, I am getting only photos from the AP so there is no crying "doctored photo" or "photoshop!!!!".

I'm just gonna stop here. Not because of lack of material but I think I've made my point. Ok quickly for those of you are are kinda slow: Yes some Muslims do bad things. Some Muslims did a bad thing to America. We get it. I'm American. I grieved with the rest of the country over 9/11. I wasn't Muslim at the time and guess what? I never hated all Muslims. I never blamed an entire religion for the fanatic actions of a few.

Let's put the whole "Muslims are the bad guys" things into perspective, shall we? Take a look at this eye opener which was made from data from the FBI. They have a list of all terrorist attacks committed on American soil from 1980 until 2005. AFTER 9/11 for those of you who still have to take their shoes off to count higher than 10. :-D

Oooh interesting! So the only group LOWER than Muslims would be the Communists. And who is higher? Every other flippin' extremist group. Yeah, take THAT islamaphobes!!!!!!!

Disclaimer: None. I stick by my beliefs, morals and principles.

Finally, a cute sarubobo :-)

2011-04-28T11:54:00.000-04:00

See? Brave enough to enlarge this photo. :-)

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. So I made another one; I couldn't wait, the last one was just sooo... Oh I don't know, like the fat girl who doesn't get invited to the dance, or the stupid cousin you'd like to erase from your family tree. :-)) I felt after TWO craftin' failures in a row, I really had to get back my street cred.

Such as it were. Ahem.

Anyhoo... sorry I'm a little annoyed now. Just got a call from Yousef's school saying we needed to meet with the principal and his teacher because the teacher apparently had been trying to get in contact with A and could not. Wait a minute, WTHeck? I spoke with this teacher at the beginning of the year and he offered to send home a daily report (Yousef, my stepson, has some behavior issues) which would detail his behavior plus his homework.

IT NEVER CAME. Can you do the math? That was in September, now it's almost May. It never ever ever came. I even spoke with the Asst. Principal about it a few weeks ago. So now suddenly THEY have been trying to contact us? Hmmmm. Don't think so.

This is gonna lead me to another little rant. I ~~hate hate hate hate~~ despise when people assume because we are practicing Muslims (read: beard and abaya sportin', they know nothing about our ibadah) that we are ignorant. It makes me want to get a PhD in ass-y-ness (as this principal apparently has!!) just so I can saunter in and say, "No, actually, its' DOCTOR Umm Aaminah." LOL

They always, always act surprised when a) I speak correct english, b) understand what they are saying and c) actually have some original and pertinent thoughts of my own. Gasp!

OK sorry for that. I usually am pretty upbeat, give others the benefit of the doubt, but I really dislike this school system here. I never faced these issues in Tennessee. Well I mean my friends never faced these issues; everyone got along and there was a minimum of ass-y-ness to deal with. Anyway sorry I had to share all that but she just called and interrupted my happy happy post about my sarubobo skillz.

So back to that: To recap, I first made this:

"Dur-de-dur-dur-dur!!!!"

And then I managed to create this:

"Oh look at me, la-dee-dee! I'm so cute and petite!" lol

Alright, really all I wanted to say; the rest is just gravy. :-)

Ma salaama ya'll!

Craftin' mama, again :-)

2011-04-27T22:28:00.001-04:00

***UPDATE*** I just looked at my blog post (to check for errors) and noticed how HORRIBLE the stitching looks in this enlarged pic. Daaaang. So just wanted ya'll to know I wasn't going for the Frankenstein look, I merely stitched too close to the edge of the fabric and it rent as I stuffed it. So I had to do a quick stitch job. Obviously it didn't look so horrible in real life cause I was shocked just now to see this! lol

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. :-) I got me a heap more inspiration for some homemade goodness from Mairuru's blog again. This time I hand-stitched a little sarubobo plush figures. These are cute little faceless people that are a traditional Japanese handcraft. Please go to her blog to see how they are SUPPOSED to look. :-D Super cute and small enough for little fingers. I whipped one up for Aaminah from the scrap fabric I had leftover from making my passport cover. (When I try that again, I'll post the results for it too!)

That isn't dirt btw; Aaminah loves to color her fingernails with markers!!!!

Ah it's pretty cute huh? But... you knew there would be a but... :-) I made a teensy error in my sizing. They are supposed to be small. Her fabric pieces had 5x6 written on them, I assumed inches. Dork. lol It was cm, which most of the world (except the US, Liberia, and Burma..true, I googled it!) uses. Anyway mine turned out quite a bit bigger but Aaminah liked it. It was my first try so not too shabby but I intend to make some more. Probably with a lighter fabric as well; I thought to use scraps my first time so I wouldn't waste good material. Smart, eh? :-)

Well to keep Aaminah busy I decided to buy her a little sewing kit of her own the other day. I was going to buy a plastic canvas plastic needle and a sheet of canvas. However, at the last moment I found a cute little set for only $1.00 at A.C. Moore. Saving about $5, yay me. She played with it for a bit and changed her yarn color a lot. :-) All part of the fun, eh?

Once again, marker ya'll. Not old scratches or scars but m a r k e r. lol

I'm sure you're getting tired of hearing THIS but I'll repost these little cuties again once I make some that aren't massive and slightly weird. :-) ma salaama ya'll

Passport cover craft and lessons learned :-)

2011-04-24T20:29:00.001-04:00

I am being brave, showing a close-up with alllll my imperfections. :-) That's just how I ~~roll~~ blog.

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. I think I mentioned I've been feeling inspired lately to be crafty. Alhamdulillah, after spending a wee bit o' money on supplies, I finally bit the bullet and made something! I've also mentioned my "I have too much to do to ever get finished" guilt complex. I rarely do things just for me because I feel I should be doing things that NEED to be done. Alhamdulillah today I ignored those niggly feqdfjk;7....

Wonder what THAT was about? Well Zainab apparently thought it was a great idea to spray water from the kitchen and it hit my laptop! We had a minor emergency while she brought some paper towels to dry it. I hit a few stray keys. :-D Back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Jo's awesome, oh-so-professional quality passport cover. Nice!

Soooo alhamdulillah I ignored those niggly feelings of guilt today and spent a few hours happily crafting. I followed a tutorial on Chubby Hobby, another (totally random) Japanese woman who is a craftress supreme! Her tutorial was a bit of a challenge for me until I started putting the pieces together. Then I could see exactly how it was going to work out. :-)

However, me being me and all, it didn't turn out quite as perfect as hers. :-) For one, I forgot to buy a button. So I improvised and made a yo-yo (the gathered circles of fabric? super cute!) attached it to use as the button. Worked out great and I think it was pretty cute too.

Oh my look at those bad seams!!! This is what I'll be discussing next. :-D

Now my big mess up came when I chose my interfacing. You know, the stuff that can make it more stiff or firm? Yeah that stuff. First, I was supposed to get fusible, iron-on interfacing. I didn't. Alhamdulillah I had some stitch-witchery so I ironed that on and it held it in place very well.

Second, I got really stiff interfacing (she didn't specify and I didn't know). Turns out with this heavier type you can't sew your items inside out and then turn it so you have great hidden seams. I ended up only being able to sew 2 edges that way then trying to tuck, tuck, tuck fabric in and top seam it. Uh-huh. A bit stressful but I soldiered on!

Two pockets at top for passports, and two pockets at bottom for other I.D. or travel papers. Nifty!

I really like this pattern/fabric combo (I was pretty intimidated by trying to pick out co-ordinating but not matching fabrics) but I did buy some much nicer stuff (on clearance from A.C. Moore, woo-hoo) that I'll use my next go-round insha'Allah.

Oh also the wonky seams are where the heavy interfacing (triple ply by now!) was too thick and I had to lift the presser foot up on my sewing machine. Therefore it got a picky jiggy. :-)

All in all, I am ok with it. Now I know exactly how to do it next time and what I need to change to make it nicer. I think I will give this one to the girls, Hafsa and Zainab, for their passports. Mean? I don't think so; they like it anyway. :-) Just glad I didn't put my name on it anywhere, as in "made by..." :-))

Ma salaama ya'll!

Where the "magic" happens. Yeah, please notice the " ". :-D

Random updates

2011-04-19T10:38:00.000-04:00

I love this picture of Aaminah; she was 7 months old. So cute masha'allah!

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. This is gonna be one of those mish-mash kinda posts; just catching you up on some daily going-ons and ongoing issues. :-)

I noticed I was pretty prolific in March; 21 posts masha'Allah! Especially when compared with my 4 measly ones this month. Dismal, dismal! I just haven't had the inspiration. What can ya do? Anyway let's tie up some loose ends now. :-)

1. We were supposed to meet with Hafsa's principal last Friday. However, A had the flu and double pnuemonia. :-( He missed 7 days of work and really felt bad. This was on the tail end of Aaminah's illness which lasted about 10 days so really I've been a-nursin' everyone for a couple of weeks. Maybe that's where all my energy went. :-) Insha'Allah we'll get a new meeting rescheduled now that A is feeling better (and no longer contagious).

2. I've been feeling really crafty. I found a really inspiring website (oh come on, there are sooo many!) but this is a very sweet woman from Japan called Mairuru. This is her blog; it's alot of her life, photos of Japan and all of her super-sweet handmade (hand sewn!) crafts. Seeing how inspired she is inspires me. I don't think there are many days that pass where she doesn't make something handmade masha'Allah.

Also, after reading through her blog, I was humbled by her attitude and perspective on life. I find myself often admiring Asians cultures for their emphasis on family, devotion, and simplicity. Mairuru and her family are no exception. She is grateful for all the small blessings in her life and it's just heartwarming to read. No complaints, no grouchings, just quiet happiness. I felt calmer just for reading her posts. :-)

Insha'Allah if ya'll feel a little crafty, check out her blog and try your hand at some of them. I am intending to and I'll post my results here. :-)

3. I bought Aaminah a Nintendo DSi. Yeah, I know. She is little masha'allah, not yet 3, and this is not something I ever did for my boys for sure. Well yeah coulnd't afford it :-P but also I don't advocate video games, incessant tv watching, connected 24/7 to an ipod, etc.

That said, her stepbrother Yousef received one as a gift. He was..... less than generous with it and Aaminah usually bore the brunt of his stinginess. (He can be very sweet with her in other regards at times but he was the baby of the family before we came and unfortunately continues in some of those behaviors.) I just got a little tired of all the "You can't touch it, Aaminah!" or him accusing her of losing a stylus, breaking it, etc.

I looked and looked on eBay and finally found a used one at a price I could stomach. I found her a few cute little games and I let her play it a few times a day. She enjoys it and she plays educational games (although at this age, everything she does she learns from!). Of course she really enjoys it and reallllly enjoys the sense of ownership. :-D "This is my DS!".

Masha'Allah she is a very grateful little girl, we talk about how Allah doesn't like us to be greedy and we discuss ways to cut back on our greed. For instance, by donating her clothes and toys she no longer plays with or has outgrown, she knows she can help another little girl who is less fortunate. We also discuss how we can buy less and do not have to have everything we want.

For example, we were at Target the other day and she saw a little toy she loved! I let her see it and hold it but reminded her that Allah doesn't like us to be greedy and we have enough toys. She said, "OK Mama, I just want to hold it for a minute." Masha'allah she put it right back and was content. I think this is a great lesson to pass on to our children AND for us to remember ourselves!

4. We are still discussing the potential move to Tunis. I am partially excited and partially apprehensive/pensive about it. Insha'Allah He will give me peace. Amin.

5. My youngest, Alex, will be coming up for a visit the first week of June insha'Allah. I am so excited! I cannot wait to see him and have him here, just for me and Aaminah to enjoy! He can stay for about 10 days; he is going on a mission trip to Guatamala mid-June and I have to get him back in time to pack/get ready. Zack was going to try and come also but he is literally busy the entire summer! Between summer camps (he counsels), his mission trip, orientation for college, and much much more, he's all set. :-( Insha'allah I'll see him soon but my heart is sad.

Oh right, I forgot, big surprise here but I was sick also, spent a night in the hospital but alhamdulillah my fever abated and I was able to come home. My energy is really flagging here recently and I've lost my cooking mojo again. Poor A; the kids don't mind so much but I am sure A is tired of uninspired meals, although he would never complain to me masha'allah. I really have so much to be thankful for; my husband is so supportive and very sweet/romantic in his Arab way. :-) He never complains or insists and is truly grateful for anything I do for him. Alhamdulillah. :-)

Ma salaama ya'll!

Hijabi clothing alert

2011-04-17T12:10:00.000-04:00

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. I found this very hijab-friendly tshirt while looking for bras today. (I really wanted to say "whilst" but refrained as I am neither British nor Canadian). It's 39" long (yes!) has long sleeves and a modest neckline. It comes in sizes M to 6X masha'Allah. It's only $9.99 and comes in 4 colors although some are sold out. Go here to check it out.

I've ordered a heather blue and a heather grey, opting out of the red and magenta. Yeah you know me, not too exciting in the color palette department. :-) I don't normally buy in multiples anymore but this seems like such a great shirt for exercising (um, I do it sometimes!) or just spending some time at the park.

Insha'Allah this will be of some help to ya'll. I have to say I've never ordered through here before but it's a huge, well-known company for plus size clothing. Some of their items come in regular sizes as well.

Ma salaama ya'll!

Oh me oh me, Mrs. Y

2011-04-08T16:52:00.003-04:00

Hehehe funny...

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. My stepdaughter Hafsa has had a few issues at her school involving the staff not being particularly sensitive to our religious requirements. (So have the 2 younger ones as well.) As the only Muslims in the school district (that we are aware of, there might be more but they are incognito) we kind of expect a few things and we brush off those that are simply annoying or funny.

The following however does NOT fit the category. Uh-huh not at all. Please read an email I sent to the principal of her middle school. You'll find it interesting, to say the least:

From: ME!

Sent: Friday, April 08, 2011 10:08 AM

To: Mr. Principal

Subject: incident involving my stepdaughter

Hello Mr. Principal, this is _________ Hafa __________'s stepmother. I tried to call you in the office today but I was informed you were out for a morning meeting. As we will be attending prayer service this afternoon, I felt it best to email you so I could inform you of the issue.

(I will try to write exactly as Hafsa related the story.)

Yesterday Hafsa came home and told us that her teacher, Mrs. Y, asked what was wrong with her. Hafsa replied, "My mom won't sign the paper for us to go to Tunisia with my father."

Mrs. Y stated she did not blame Hafsa's mother. She said women do not have rights "over there" and most kids who travel overseas do not return (?). She said (I can't remember if she said Hafsa in particular or just girls) that "They marry them off to old men."

My husband and I are livid that she is equating my husband with this type of personage. Just because he is an Arab Muslim doesn't make him a mysogynistic, opportunistic child abuser. Hafsa often comes home and relates little things Mrs. Y says that do not sit well with us but I do not like to make a big deal over nothing.

For example, one day Hafsa came home and said Mrs. Y told the class, "I am smarter than all your parents". I find this to be an offensively inaccurate statement, spoken out of true ignorance.

Please contact us at your earliest convenience. Although I am aware Hafsa might have accidentally mistated some facts, the gist of the conversation remains the same. Muslim men, including her father, sell their daughters de facto to the highest bidder and are not to be trusted.

We find this to be unacceptable behavior and attitude from any teacher but especially one who works mainly with immigrant students.

Thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing back from you soon. You may call anytime today after 3:00 pm.

Sincerely,

ME! ;-)

Please see now Mr. Principal's reply. In the 2 previous issues we've had with the school, he has always instilled the utmost confidence in me with his abilities and he did not disappoint now.

Ms. ME!, I will follow this up before the end of the day and call you in the early evening. I may only have time to gathher minimal information, but am certainly not happy that anything even approaching this conversation might have taken place.

Sincerely,

Mr. Principal

Alhamdulillah he appears to be taking this seriously. WE have definitely taken it seriously. One of the issues last year had to do with Hafsa wearing hijab. She had gotten warm (it was summer and there is no A/C in the school) and went to the school nurse. Basically the school nurse told her she should dress lighter and that by covering her head she was asking to overheat. She also questioned why we as her parents allowed her to dress that way. He was very sensitive of our "cultural" issue which I quickly assured him was NOT cultural, but a religious obligation.

Anyway I look forward to his phone call and to what it might bring. This teacher honestly is unbelievably; always making snarky comments, etc.

What would you guys do in this situation? Ma salaama....