Great news, masha'Allah tabarakallah!

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. When last we spoke, I was a little down, missing my sons. Alhamdulillah the next day I received an email from my big sis which stated she was going to bring Zack and Alex up this summer when she comes to visit. I was on cloud 9! They were gonna come at the end of May which really thrilled me but because of scheduling conflicts (mainly for my busy boys) they can't come til August. Alhamdulillah just knowing they will be coming up is a huge relief to me.

Of course I want to go back home for a visit this summer but the kids here don't get out of school til almost the end of June. TN is HOT in July but of course that wouldn't stop me. I just have to try to figure out sleeping arrangements, etc. for our family of 6. :-) My husband isn't cheap with us masha'allah but I try to be frugal; the thought of renting hotels rooms for a week + is daunting. So I'll have to think and get creative. Hmm we could always go camping there; save a bundle. Not sure how the kids would feel about it tho. :-) I haven't been camping yet as a hijabi so I think that would be another special circumstance, trying to be modest and not destroy my abayaat with campfire cooking.

OK I just wanted to update you all. I am still doing my at home I.V. therapy. Insha'allah on May 14 they will pull my access tube and I will pray that Allah swt has removed this stubborn infection from me once and for all. Sisters, many of us don't appreciate what we have; I know as a younger woman I didn't think twice about being healthy; I took it for granted. Now of course I know to be more grateful to
Allah for his blessings so let's just say "alhamdulillah" and mean it!

Ma salaama...

Let's talk about the hard stuff...

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. My heart's feeling a little heavy tonight; normally I am the kind of person who can put almost anything into perspective and feel pretty good about it. It's a blessing from Allah; I just don't obsess, especially about things I can't control. Usually.

I called my sons tonight. As you may have read, they still live in TN with their father. They are 13 and almost 17 and are truly two of the lights of my life. I carried them in my womb, I felt their first kicks, I was there when they took their first breath. These are the firsts you share with almost no one else in this world.

My sons are moving into manhood now, at a furious pace. Alex's voice is so deep I often think I've gotten a wrong number and somehow Zachary has became so smooth, so diplomatic, I could imagine I am speaking with a lawyer, not a high school junior. Masha'allah they have grown up and I am not there with them.

I miss my home, I miss my family, I miss my masjid, my sisters, my friends. I miss knowing how to drive ANYWHERE I need to be. I miss being able to be understood when I speak.

My sons? There isn't a word strong enough to express how I feel without them.

Ma salaama.

"Mama sick...blechhh!"

These are little "multi-cultural baby" cupcakes my sister made for my babyshower for Aaminah. Yeah old picture but just wanted to share the cuteness!

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. Unfortunately I have been ill enough during Aaminah's short life that she understands (as much as she can) what it means to be sick.

A was trying to explain my absence to her (when I was hospitalized in February) and he told her, Mama sick. So cute, she comes up with, "mama sick...blech!" Complete with open mouth and bending forward. Masha'Allah.. she makes us laugh every time with that.

Alhamdulillah I was in the hospital again but just for a day this time. I was released today and got home in time to relieve A (he had Aaminah all day and then trying to keep up with 4 kids after the bigger ones returned home!) I have the same resistant infection I have been battling since October.

Sisters, please make dua for me. We are trying to find out why I keep getting this infection. This time it's just a UTI but a couple of times it's been full-blown pyleonephritis (a true-blue kidney infection). AND in my transplant kidney no less!

Alhamdulillah, all things happen for a reason. Please make du'a that Allah heals me and keeps me at home with my family where I am needed.

Ma salaama...

Aw, nuts!

"Aw nuts" is the signature phrase of the main character Jake Green (played by Skeet Ulrich). It spawned a deluge of packing peanuts sent to the CBS main offices to protest the closure of the show.

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. Anybody remember that show "Jericho"? It was a short-lived drama on CBS in 2007 about a terrorist attack on the US. But wait...not MUSLIM terrorists. The home-grown variety; think the Hutarees multiplied by, well, lots. :-)

I loved that show. Alright nothing else to say.

Ma salaama...