A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. My heart's feeling a little heavy tonight; normally I am the kind of person who can put almost anything into perspective and feel pretty good about it. It's a blessing from Allah; I just don't obsess, especially about things I can't control. Usually.
I called my sons tonight. As you may have read, they still live in TN with their father. They are 13 and almost 17 and are truly two of the lights of my life. I carried them in my womb, I felt their first kicks, I was there when they took their first breath. These are the firsts you share with almost no one else in this world.
My sons are moving into manhood now, at a furious pace. Alex's voice is so deep I often think I've gotten a wrong number and somehow Zachary has became so smooth, so diplomatic, I could imagine I am speaking with a lawyer, not a high school junior. Masha'allah they have grown up and I am not there with them.
I miss my home, I miss my family, I miss my masjid, my sisters, my friends. I miss knowing how to drive ANYWHERE I need to be. I miss being able to be understood when I speak.
My sons? There isn't a word strong enough to express how I feel without them.