Where have I been???

Salaaaaaam ya'll! I've been busy. Working my 7 days a week, 10 hours a day. Exhausted, writing is the LAST thing on my mind. However, word is easing up, I'm getting one day off a week and only 9 hours a day. So happy alhamdulillah!

So much has happened, where to start? Still unmarried, all things come in their season, dear readers. :-) I did FINALLY get my belongings from the movers. Alhamdulillah! I had to pay another $960 but was just so happy and grateful I had a job so I was able to pay it on my own and not have to ask for help from anyone. That is a blessing in itself! So now instead of a bare apartment we have boxes and bags and containers, oh my! :-) Be careful what you wish for, huh? I would say I just want the time to put things aright and rearrange, decorate but I need my job and it will be over after the end of April so I am sure the mess will wait for me.

And wait. And wait. :-))

Anyway so that was some good news. Aaminah is growing like a WEED. Yes indeed. Most of her 4T clothes she has outgrown masha'Allah. Time for the charity bags. :-) She also has heaps of baby toys for toddlers so we'll go through everything as time permits and really pare down. I enjoy this type of thing and am looking forward to it.

So my job. Wow. I enjoy it, I really like my co-workers and the owner. The job is good too but some of our clients... words just do NOT describe. I have been propositioned and stared at and really it's rattled me a few times. I am not a shy person but alhamdulillah Allah swt gave me haya and now it's difficult for me to interact non-mahrems ESP if for some ridiculous reason they try to flirt with me. I'm like, I'm the one covered in the office and yet, you think you should try your luck with me??? LOL

I have ordered some natural henna products online and as soon as I use them and can really give a good rating I'll do a post. Promise. :-) I wanted a color other than orange-brown henna for my nails and they make all-natural nail, lip and areola stains. Yes sisters you read that last part right as well. :-) It's all-pupose. I'm excited and I'll let ya'll know in a week or so ok?

Oh I did buy a couple of uber-cute sandals recently online, thought I would share. Yes this is a random, mashed-up post. I've had thoughts for some serious ones but no time to do them justice so hope ya'll like this little slice-of-life entry. :-)

So it has kinda sequed into a "here's a few pics for ya" kinda post. I feel like I owe you guys something for being so patient while my life is straightening back out.

Ohhh and speaking of straightening, I got an awesome keratin hair treatment today. I don't splurge on myself but this was $155 with the cut. Ouch! But... it was long over-due and yeah, I feel like I deserve it. My hair was in serious need of some deep-conditioning. This treatment straightens it and conditions it. Now instead of my half-curly, half-wavy, alllll frizzy mess I've got lovely flowing locks. Wish I could show ya'll but well.... you know. :-) Take my word for it, if you can afford to treat yourself and your hair is giving you fits, this is definitely worth it.

Well I have been more appearance-concious lately. Getting remarried and yes, getting in touch with my more feminine roots again. I was just sooo busy in MA and then when I arrived here in Sept I was broke, broke, broke. So I've bought some new clothes, got my hair done and (gettin') my nails did :-), and the cute sandals kinda topping it off.

I have also, on the advice of my doctor, went to the tanning bed a few times.  As a hijabi, my Vitamin D levels are always pretty low but factor in my kidney disease and they get super low. So I decided to pop into the tanning bed a few times. I like having a bit of color to my skin and Vitamin D is called the happy vitamin cause it gives you more energy and improves your mood. Insha'allah. :-)

Alright I think I'll sign out now. Just want ya'll to know I'm happy, Aaminah is healthy, and we are doing alright. :-) ALL praises be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds. :-) Also my boys are doing great, awesome grades, Zack has a part-time job and is in his second semester of university and Alex has a play this weekend where he portrays a knight. Gonna see my budding thespian on Sunday insha'Allah. Love my children, love my family, love my friends, love my life.

Ma salaama ya'll!

These are surprisingly comfortable and reallllly cute. :-) Oh and I got this pair too:

Aaminah painted this for me. Beautiful yes?? :-)

Aaminah at the super-creepy playplace at the BK in my neighborhood. Low lights + funky smell = ewwwwww

And...yet again

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. So I think I've mentioned on here I haven't been hired by a non-Islamic entity since becoming Muslim. Yes some people have no problem but they either A) have a very advanced degree or B) cover in a less traditional manner. Or both but .... anyway. :-)

So I had applied for a job at a call center type place. Decent pay (much better than my babysitting job!) and I could work part-time which is important for me to have time with Aaminah. I did the data entry, typing, call center etiquette and another test online. My scores were excellent far above average (they give your results immediately).

The lady from the staffing company called me the next day, gushing about my scores. "Well if that's your off-day, I would love to see a good day!" is what she said in response to my comment on my data entry score. Alhamdulillah. I went to meet her and yes, I wore my brown abaya, black khimar, black pants and black shoes. I am friendly, clean, well-spoken, articulate and intelligent. I am also a covering muslimah. And? No bearing on the job. It's halal, answering calls for doctors' offices all over the country. I do not have to have close interactions with anyone (which means really non-mahrem) so I was very happy. Also close to home. Wow, great.

Yeah, you know there is a catch right? Today I get the following email:

Jeanna,

Good afternoon. I so enjoyed meeting you last week, so thank you for your time in the interview and the computer testing.

I wanted to update you on the ___________ assignment. Unfortunately, you were not selected for the assignment. However, I'm working on some exciting other opportunities (new clients) that I think you might be interested in, but it will take some time. I have you registered with us now, so I can give you a call when we get a little closer. And of course, please feel free to check back with me as well.

Thank you,

__ ______________, PHR
__________, President
_____  _________   ________
Knoxville, TN 37922
Office: 865-xxx-xxxx
Cell: 865-xxx-xxxx
www.dontcomeifyouaremuslim.com

Hmmmm. Well, alrighty then. Honestly, I just said "Alhamdulillah" and went on. Surprised? Yeah a bit. She really liked me (or seemed to) and I know, before covering, I would have had that job like nobody's business. Let's be honest, the job is not beneath me but it's far beneath what I am capable of. I told her I really needed the job and could be very flexible.

 

Nothing else makes sense except my religion. Muslim=unemployed here. OK sorry, let's go back. MuslimAH muhajabat = unemployed. As I said, I have seen some muhajabat with jobs here but they are more trendy, mainstream, a bit more current in their fashion. I really thought (silly me) that my personality and my qualifications would help me land the job.

 

Alhamdulillah. :-) I am learning many lessons in humility and trusting in the qadr of Allah. I will continue to do my best, to strive, but when it falls away at the end, still praise Him for it all.

 

May Allah swt make it easy on my family and I. Amin.

To work or not to work...

Really, there's no question. :-) A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. UofA has found herself in a weird position: having to work again! Gasp! OK before any of you "get off your lazy butt" kinda people chime in you should know being a homemaker is a FULL TIME JOB. There was many a day I would have (almost) switched places and gone to work. There you do your time, clock out, khalas.

A mama never rests. Cooking, shopping, cleaning, laundry, ok yeah fair enough. Oh wait schedule and ferry to doctor appointments, Islamic school/religious education, trips to the park or for a walk. Don't forget you need to get more supplies (shopping again!) and referee in the all-too-frequent spats which occur with alarming frequency.

This is just an easy day, ya'll. :-) And my day lasted from fajr to well past isha. Yes, get off my lazy behind indeed!!! lol

Now however, I must seek employment to provide for myself and little Feisty One. :-) Most places are not very muhajabat-friendly and I cannot say I blame them. Given the choice between me (nice person, competent, intelligent) and someone who fits in with society in general... well businesses are there to make money right? :-) So I tried my Islamic school where I used to work as a preschool teacher but alhamdulillah 2 months into the year they of course have their positions filled. :-)

I realllly wanted my old job back as admin at my masjid. Yes it was a paying positiong but my opportunity to do good for my community was immense. I loved it! Alhamdulillah the previous admin had just left which boded well for me.

Except... a member of our Shura board felt our community didn't really need an admin. Oh woe is me! So of course insha'Allah it might change but I am not banking on something to happen that might not. So I have found a position babysitting.

My problem with it however is that the pay is ultra-low: $4 an hour. :-( I want to help out the sister and her family but as I only work about 3-4 hours a day, well you can do the math. Plus it's in the middle of the day so it's almost impossible to do anything else. My whole day taken up for $12. :-)

Now I have one other issue which is making me have doubts. They are masha'allah very neat and their home sparsely furnished. In the room we mostly stay in Aaminah plays with 2 blue bean bag chairs. Of course I bring some toys for her. Anyway when we arrived yesterday the sister tells Aaminah very nicely, "Your job today is to be very neat and not make a mess".

I'm thinking, WTHeck, we take all of our toys home and other than that, there is only 2 bean bag chairs and 2 little stuffed bears. The sister goes on to tell me her husband is VERY particular about their home and doesn't like it messed up.

I was offended, sisters. I am very careful when in someone else's home. I always insist Aaminah behave and clean up after herself and I assist her. I knew we never left a mess here! Then I noticed the bean bag chairs are always in the EXACT same position, pushed down in the middle, pushed down a bit on the top, so the rest is fluffed out fully. The little bears are on opposite sides of the masjid clock and always at the same angle.

Oooooh now I see. Subhanallah. So I always put things back in their place but I never did those things. And sisters, do not judge me harshly, I will not. I will not put a chair back, and push it down, and plump the sides and tilt a stuffed bear at an exact angle. I am doing them a service and I do not want to feel like my daughter is viewed as a messy girl simply because they have very exacting standards.

I really don't know what to do now. It isn't fair to Aaminah, yesterday I was so worried about her bothering these things. I don't want them to feel we are messing up their things but I don't want my daughter to feel stressed nor myself.

Subhanallah. Also there is the issue of transportation. My van is still in MA and I was borrowing my son's car. So I am currently without transportation. :-( The sister said she would pick me up and bring me as it's only 5 minutes to her house, jazaki Allahu khair.

Then yesterday she calls and says her husband needs to get me. I said, "Sister, I am not comfortable". She seemed surprised and a bit offended so, realizing if I were to every take a taxi, I would be in a car with a man, I agreed but unhappily and she said she would be the one to do it afterwards. She did bring me home yesterday.

Now she just called and said the baby wasn't being happy and her husband will come again!!! Subhanallah. I am very unhappy. I made my position known yesterday. I felt they thought I was being a bit ridiculous and now, because I agreed yesterday, I didn't know how to say no today. I am very unhappy right now and Allah forgive me if I am speaking out of turn. I think I will have to make some changes but, as small as my payment, I need that money and I don't really know what to do otherwise.

Please make du'a for me and ask Allah swt to make my way clear and help me to trust in His provisions, amin.