January 25, 2010
It's been a wee bit
*Oh this is a photo my sis took when I was sick in the hospital last time in December. Aaminah had such a beautiful look on her face and the noor shone from her eyes. Oh wait, that's not noor, it's the "Wiggles" reflected from the t.v. screen. LOL*
A'salaamu alaikum. Really I am getting annoyed at my inability to post photos. :-) I want to take pictures of Aaminah in the snow, of the historic town square, and my family. Oh and yeah the things I cook.
But here is the funny part: my camera is fine I could snap photos all day long. I just refuse to (for some reason) bec I don't have the ability to upload them for now. Crazy but whatcha gonna do? :-)
So alhamdulillah we are meshing together as a family. Of course things are not perfect but I am happy. My only complaint is lack of time for just A and I. But with 4 kids there is not a perfect solution. There is no honeymoon period where we can just get acclimated to each other and hang the rest of the world. Alhamdulillah. But I have a few tips to pass on to any others out there attempting to consolidate families:
1. Make time for relationship. We are busy busy busy. Alhamdulillah my husband works and also is active in our community so that means he is out of the home quite a bit. I am busy with Aaminah, the other children, housework, errands, cooking, etc. However we have established a rule: every night before we are absolutely exhausted, we shut the door and spend 15 minutes together. Sometimes we might sneak some more time (Aami's in bed and the other kids are engrossed in an activity) but often it's just those 15 minutes which are often interrrupted by "Khaltu" or "Baba". lol
I can't stress how important that time is to me. To just connect as husband and wife, talk about our day, not be interrupted by a cranky toddler or demanding preteen. :-) It's my favorite part of the day.
2. Make Islam the center of your family. Alhamdulillah my iman has grown since A and I married, despite the chaos of our life. Why? Bec our prayers are paramount, we don't put them off, we don't sleep in "just a few more minutes" at Fajr. We keep the haram out of our home and try to stress the positive.
Sisters, its hard sometimes. I won't lie. :-) How easy to just give in and say "Well fast forward through that part of the movie" or allow music other than nasheed because it doesn't really have that bad of stuff in it.
I don't want you to have the wrong opinion of me. Before A and I married I still listened to secular music ()but I did not try to convince myself it was right. I would order beef from restaurants and just say "bismillah". So I have made changes too and I feel so positive and uplifted by them.
3. Make time for each child. I am still struggling on this one. Because I have Aaminah and she is still so young so during the day when the kids are gone to school I make sure to spend time with just her but I have not really perfected it with the other children. I am working on this but I can see it is really important to them to feel that I am close to them. Insha'Allah I will improve in this area.
OK there are more but this is technically Aaminah time. :-) She is happy toddling around, occasionally watching Blue's Clues but mostly interesting in the gel stickies on the girls' window. :-) Ahhh better chase her down before she eats one. They look like gummy worms (although she doesn't know that). lol