February 21, 2011

To all my south asian sistahs

Can ya'll see any desi features on her? Curious...
A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. As you may or may not know, my darlin' little Aaminah is half Indian masha'Allah. I try to encourage her to learn (in age-applicable ways) about the other half of her culture. Masha'allah she's got alot on her plate.

1. M-U-S-L-I-M of course is first and foremost. 'Nough said.

2. American. Amreeki. Amreekiya. Whatev, howev you say it, she was born a southern girl and that is of course my basis for life after being a Muslim.

3. Indo-pak/desi. Please if any of these terms are offensive, tell me. It seems simple to say Indo-Pak but I've never definitely heard if it's rude; if so please excuse me and feel free to call me a redneck if ya wanna. :-))

So I guess it goes to say she will never learn Urdu. First English then Arabic and no one to teach her Urdu. Her Abi left when she was 3 months old and returned to India (after I had traveled to India to marry him, completed his visa, waited apart for a year, brought him over as his sponsor on his relative visa, worked while pregnant with Aaminah and he make TWO trips back to India and didn't work, blah blah blah) LOL Sorry really not bitter at all just want ya'll to have the WHOLE picture in your mind and not think I am trying to keep her from anything anyone.

Anyway I want her to know about her more interesting (to me!) cultural half. Here's where ya'll can help. Anyone out there reading who has a couple of choli-lenghas or shalwar kameez sized to fit a sturdy almost 3 yr old, give me a holla. The bright metal bangles, anything really. I have a few things for her but most of the clothing she outgrew as the waist was made for some very slender child and while masha'allah Aaminah is perfect, made by Allah, she is sturdy not a will-o-wisp. :-)

I am more than willing to pay S&H plus cost but I am not looking to spend $$$. Used is best as it costs lest and I save more $$$. :-)) I would also love to have a sari for me to wrap as a rida (really neat way to cover) or a woolen jamovar/stole/pashmina???? jeeze thought I knew some things but guess not.

I know I can go on eBay and search but I am so leery of getting poor quality in things I am not as well-versed in, such as Indian clothing. Hence my appeal to you.

Now, if you have the goods, you wanna sell, we can make a deal. If you have the goods but kinda feeling, Oh I should save it for my sister's daughter or my cousin's baby, then please do and don't worry. :-) I like to hand things down in my family too or help out those less fortunate, alhamdulillah.

I knooooow this might be stretching it but I would also love to find some jewelry for her; earrings or bracelets. She has a pair of silver anklets given by a sweet friend but I of course would like to put her in some bling-bling gold, insha'Allah, the kind I cannot seem to find in the US.

Oh also just plain play shalwar kameez, shoes, whatever. Sorry trying to be more explicit in what I am searching for. Alright looking forward to hearing back from someone in the near future and if not, alhamdulillah. Maybe one day her Abi's family will think of her here in the US and send her some little token of her other background, wa Allahu alim.

She said to me the other day, rather poignantly, "I want someone to look like me" or something to that effect. She knows I have green eyes and my hair isn't quite the same as hers and her stepsiblings have a more North African/Arab look, and her brothers have light brown hair and startlingly blue eyes. Subhanallah she picked up on that! I want her to be proud of her mixed heritage but I have to find ways to present it to her first insha'allah.

Ma salaama ya'll...


Rene´s Bare Essentials said...

Salaam Alaikum,

Your little girl is so beautiful mashaAllah. I wish I was still in the states because I lived in a pakistani/indian community where I could have picked up loads of stuff for you. Im going to send an email out to my muslim mommy group im apart of to see if anyone has any items theyd like to donate or sell! Can you send me an email so I can foward you their replies? My email is

As for your ex taking advantage of you to get a visa.... All I can say is Alhamdulillah you got a beautiful girl out of it! =) I know that doesnt make it any easier but mashAllah you are now blessed with a wonderful husband and family! Its his loss since he will never know his wonderful little daughter.

Adventurous Ammena said...

sis can u give me her measurements?? insha'Allah I can have a look for something modest for her while Im in Pakistan :D that ok??

Aishah said...

Asalam Alaikum sister,

Your little one looks a bit like my niece(she turns four in May)!

aoife.wolf -at- gmail -dot- com
PM me, Maybe I can help?

Sabirah said...


I'm sorry I don't have anything for you. I'm not sure where exactly you live...but if you ever visit NY. They have tons of options now. They sell excellent quality gold and Desi clothes at great prices. If you know any Pakistani/Indian women in your could ask them if they know anyone in your area that sells/makes them.

Good luck!

Um Abdullah said...

It breaks my heart to know I will be there in a few years, and I am not sure how much I'll be able to educate my son on his other culture. :-(

HijabiMommy said...

Salam Sis! Wow, Masha'allah, it's amazing, isn't it, how kids can pick up on things like that?

Aaminah is beautiful Masha'allah. I don't see too much "desi" in her at all. LOL When I first saw her picture on your blog, I thought she was "white" like her mama!

My daughters have beautiful lenghas and shalwar kameez...but, unfortunately, I am not willing to part with them. They were handmade especially for them by my extremely talented aunt who is a sewing genius and they hold tremendous sentimental value for me. Insha'allah, I plan on using them for any other girls I may have or saving them for when the girls are older and I can share the beautiful history behind the clothes. A looooong time, I know, but I doubt I will ever find anything in Pakistani stores with such quality. Sorry!

Since you are wary of ebay, I think your best bet would be any Indian/Paki stores you can find nearby. Or, if you've ever attended any ICNA or ISNA conventions, try their bazaars. And you might be spending more money than you want, but a couple of cute outfits and matching chooriyan will mean the world to her, as which little girl can resist looking like a princess? :-)

Hope you find what you are looking for! Sorry for the long reply!

Umm Aaminah said...

Jazakum Allahu khair all my sisters! Specifically to HijabiMommy, I completely understand and feel the same way about the 2 GORGEOUS, I could-never-find-or-afford lengha cholis a sweet sis (on her last baby!) gave to me. I want to save them for her so she can insha'Allah save them for her little girl. These are (I am sure like yours) the beautifully made, high-end silk and ruched and beaded confections. :-)

I will email all the other sisters who responded. I really appreciate it; I just don't want her to grow up and have nothing of her other culture. Not so much because I am American but because my husband identifies (obviously) as Tunisian Arab and I want Aaminah to have her own pride in her cultural mish-mash, insha'allah. :-)

Thanks, thanks, and thanks again!

Anonymous said...

assalamu alaikum sister.
can you identify you and aamina over there?.(hehe kidding)

jazakallah khairan.

Angelle said...

Umm Aami, I agree wholeheartedly with Renee's Bare Essentials. Despite her father's seeming to have "taken advantage" of your generosity and left you in the lurch, you definitely got the good end of that deal.

I find in all of your pictures of Aaminah that she is so expressive! Her personality just shines through. Wish I could help with the clothes, but I wouldn't know where to start.

All the best.

Um Zakarya said...

Assalamu Aleykum dear sister,

Being married with a Pashtun pakistani man, I will try my best to help INSHALLAH.If you give me the exact measurements of your little cuty MASHALLAH, my inlaws could get Shalwar Kamees done for her by a tailor INSHALLAH, and I could send them to you, you would only need to pay the postage from France.Please let me know anyway I could help INSHALLAH, regarding clothes or anything else.
Lot of love.

Um Zakarya said...

Assalamu Aleykum,

If you give me your little angel's measurements, I could ask my inlaws to have some cute Shalwar Kamees done by a tailor in Pakistan INSHALLAH.All you would need to pay is the postage INSHALLAH.They could also get her bangles, earrings and all those lovely stuff.
Please let me know how I could help INSHALLAH.You can email me anytime.
You know, this reminds me of my own son, whose dad is arab but stepdad is Pashtun, and thus won't have anyone to "ethnically" identify to, as his future siblings won't "look like him" either.JazkALLAH Khair for this beautiful post which has given me ideas to implement for my own son.

Um Zakarya said...

I realise I have commented twice on this.Pakistan bacterias in my stomach might be the cause lol!So sorry.