Salaam ya'll. So I had my surgery on Wednesday. My new access is barely working. Alhamdulillah. I am only running at 160 cc per minute instead of 350 cc per minute. That means only half the volume of blood is being cleaned. Alhamdulillah I still have some residual function but it's not fun, sisters. Loads of swelling, tiredness, nausea... all part and parcel with end stage renal failure. At treatment today I had 3.2 kg (over 6 pounds!) of excess fluid pulled off. AND I still make urine, Crazy. Crazy.
Good news is I'm still just Jeanna, same ole me. I tend to be happier than sad and get over disappointments quickly. Right now I'm really trying to focus on getting better, taking care of myself and Aaminah and learning how to accept help. I've always been independent and it's hard for me to say, hey can't do it. But I'm learning pretty quickly. :-) For example, I was so depleted after treatment today, I let Aaminah stay with the friend who watched her during dialysis. She loves playing with the kids there and if I brought her home, I would have sat on the chair, drifting in and out of sleep, and she would have been left to her own devices, largely. So alhamdulillah I have such good friends and family who can help out in my times of need. It's such a comfort.
I have some advice, sisters. Anytime you feel overwhelmed by your circumstances/choices/life just take a minute. We know, as Muslims, we are never alone but our Creator made us to crave companionship and love in this dunya. Most of us have at least a few people who love and sustain us. So just take a moment, when the situation seems insurmountable, and think about how truly hard your life would be without those people/that person. There are some people who are truly alone in this life. I wouldn't know what to do sisters. I am so grateful for all my beautiful friends, sisters, and family.
P.S. Oh I have to go back to the hospital next Wed. and stay overnight. I'm having a contrast dye ct scan to look at the sorry state of my vasculature. Because my kidney is so fragile right now, I have to take a special medicine before and after, as well as do an extra dialysis treatment, in order to try and protect my transplant. Then they can decide on what type of permanent access to place. My veins just aren't co-operating and it's getting to be a big issue. Please pray for me, sister. JAK