March 7, 2012

A turn for the worse but still smiling...

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. Subhanallah what can happen in a few days time! I came into the ER with a suspected infection in my arm. Feeling normal (which for me is less than great anyway) but they decided to check my kidney function.

Rejection. Suspected rejection. So it started (this was Sunday night) Admitted to the hospital, next day had another biopsy on my poor little kidney. Given fluids. Didn't get result until Tuesday and it showed definite rejection on both a cellular and antibody level. Cellular is a chronic type and antibodies is what we think of as acute rejection. Apparently a roaring case of it. Alhamdulillah.

Treatment: Its a double apprach. Massive doses of steroids to calm the cellular rejection and then plasmapharesis to insha'Allah clear up this acute rejection. I have antibodies attacking my transplant. Dang it, attack other things, not my kidney! So plasmapharesis is close to dialsys. I had to have a large vein access placed, in my groin (joint of thigh and body). 2 foot long in-dwelling cathether to be used for 5 days. No showers, no baths. Joy.

Yesterday I had the immunoglobulin treatment. They had to give me about 5 hours worth of IG antibodies. They are gonna go in my body and irritate the antibodies that are attacking my kidney and cause them to swell. Then they will take my blood out via one port and then spin out my plasma, causing the swollen antibodies to be removed, then replace my plasma and my blood. Basically like dialysis, similar procedure, will take 3-5 hours to do. I'll do 1 IG treatment, then next day plasmapharesis until I've completed at least 3 cycles. Then I'll have a repeat biopsy. Yay. Feels so good (not!).

My biggest problem is access. All of my veins are very surface, very wiggly, and very uncooperative. I was stuck 10 times to try and get the larger-sized immunoglobulin access in. It is failing so I shall have to have a semi-permanent one placed in my neck or should. Oh the joy. My veins are just destroyed, so fragile, from years of prednisone useage which I must take to preserve my kidney. You always have to pay the piper, sisters. :-) So anyway my arms, after 9 unsuccessful attempts (awesome nurses, just bad veins) I am a mass of bruises up and down my forearms. Alhamdulillah. After hardship comes ease and I'm definitely banking on that some day. :-) Insha'Allah!

We are right now concerned with stopping my rejection and loss of function. I pray that it works, that Allah grants me shifa, and helps me take better care of my kidney. We all take things for granted, sisters, whether its family, friends, or (relatively speaking) good health. I have been working waaaaay too hard and not able to take very good care of myself. Once again to anyone who felt I was trying to take the easy way out and look for a husband to care for me: I need cared for. I'm not healthy and I can't keep up this pace. Alhamdulillah if ya'll can, I can't and my body is screaming this at me. It's my right to have a husband to care for me and I need it, khalas.

So I've included some pics of allll the beautiful flowers from friends and family. Masha'Allah sisters, I am so loved. I've had a dear blogger friend offer to donate a kidney if needed (jazaki Allahu khair!) and just so much dua being made for me. It's humbling and beautiful and if I didn't feel so bad right now, I'd be smiling.

I am a bit of a stoic and I don't want my family worried, I don't want Cap'n worried as he is so far away and can do nothing. So I grin and bear it. Which is my normal mode anyway, even before Islam, and now of course I have the promise from Allah swt that he will not put more on ME than I can bear and I know this is true. I also know He will expiate my sins for all of the hardship and pain insha'Allah and I am so happy for that as well. But... it's hard to be sick, hard to be away from my daughter, my home, my job, my life. I try to be a gracious patient but it's a trial sometimes.

Especially on the high doses of prednisone which I discussed LAST February when I had my rejection episode. Unfortunately this one is much more severe. Oh yesterday was also my 10 year transplant-iversary yay me! However, I was back in the same hospital. Boo!

I have vowed to try and take better care of myself. Hydrate more (water water water!) be uber-compliant with my meds, work a bit less if possible, and exercise/lose some weight. All of these things are not impossible just take dedication. I don't want my kidney to fail, I don't want to be back here again. I want to live strong and healthy (for me! lol) i'A and I want to build my new life. Please keep me in your dua and also please make dua that Cap'n is allowed to come here soon. I need him with me, living alone and having to do it all is just past my endurance.

Enjoy the pics! :-)
Beautiful orchid from my sis. It's alive and can take it home to kill it! lol

Aww little mommy brought me some flowers and a balloon. This is her "I'm so sweet and love you" face. LOL

All the flowers, cards and candy I've received. Oops one box is out of the pic!

Kindle e-reader and laptop. Yay!

Table with diet coke and breathing machine. Double yay!

My co-worker Beth and her husband brought those for me. Very spring-like.

Tulips from my mom. Beautiful.

Rose from a sweet sister in MA. She also sent a box o' chocolates. Yum.

Other view of the stunning orchid. I always think of Sr. Ria when I see an orchid. She grows beautiful ones!


Anonymous said...

Asalaam alaikum,

May Allah heal you with a perfect healing-

"As'alullaahal- Adheema Rabbal-'Arshil-'Adheemi an yashfiyaka"

I ask Almighty Allah, Lord of the Magnificent Throne, to make you well. (repeat 7 times in arabic)

MashaaAllah sister you are just one of those rare positive people that we can't resist but to love you! So I love you for the sake of Allah. Umm Tareq

Mona Z said...

Oh my, alf salama! I love the orchid. Hope you're feeling good in no time!

❤ αmαℓ said...

I'm sooo sorry to hear that, sis :( May Allah grant you shifa! And don't worry about what people say regarding your marriage. You don't need to justify it to anyone, and like you said, you absolutely have that right to be cared for. Especially in your situation. It is not selfish! Everything will be okay, inshallah. I'll keep you in my prayers :)

The Creative Muslimah said...

Assalamualeikum wa rahmatulahi wa barakatuhu dear sister!
La ba's. Tahooran inshaAllah. Don't worry, it's a purification for you, inshaAllah.
Keep up the good spirit, by the will of Allah, this is a way to wash away any sins, and purify you completely, inshaAllah! May Allah give you shifaa, bless you and your family, and protect you all, and give you the best in this world and the Hereafter, and protect you all from all evil of this world and the Hereafter! Ameen, thumma ameen!

SippingChai said...

I'm so sorry to hear about the difficulties you are going through, and yet so amazed by the strength and positive words! I will be keeping you in my duas sister. Love you for the sake of Islam. May Allah (swt) grant you shifa, strength, patience, and barakah.

Anonymous said...

wa'alaykum wasalam! i was wondering what was going on. duas for you! <3 by the way you look even more beautiful (i want whatever she's smoking, hehhe). Ameen to all above duas!

Bonnie said...

Salam alikum my beautiful sister

and beautiful is definitely the key word here (what's your secret? You look soooooo young!)

I can't even imagine how hard things must be for you right now and I feel so ashamed of myself right now for complaining about the things in my life. May Allah grant you healing and comfort my dear, I will make lots of dua for you insha'Allah.

Big hugs xx

Anonymous said...

Asalamu A'laikum, Very sad to read that you're not feeling well. Thinking of you and made dua for you. Get well soon sweetheart. And may Allah make things easy for you. Ameen.