A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. All converts have non-Muslim family. Most of us have our entire family included: mother, father, sisters, brothers, even children sometimes. We all hope and pray that they become Muslim. We wait for a great opportunity to give them dawah, to show them some of the simple beauties of our religion. Sometimes we do nothing but wait and pray and try to show by the example of our lives.
I had an opportunity tonight. At first glance, it didn't seem like much. My mother (who seems to be going through a bit of an existential crisis lately) posted the following on her fb:
Mom: Well, got the church thing behind me. No tumbled down walls or even a crack in the foundation. LOL
Then alot of her friends comment, laughingly, some who attend the church my grandmother and her family founded, encouragingly.
Me: Well, you could try branching out a little. :-)
This is my trying-to-be funny way of getting her to at least think about Islam. I thought it was pretty obvious (as I am a Muslim) and either she would pause and think about it or laugh.
Mom: As in?
A few more random comments... Now it's up to me. My mom asked, as in what kind of branching out. Here is my seque, all I have to do is say it.
I freeze. Allah forgive me, but I don't know what to say. I don't want any of my non-Muslim family to think I judge them, to think they are ignorant. However, the very way in which my mother (and others) were making light of this situation speaks to me about one of the inherent problems many "psuedo-Christians" or Christians in name only have: no respect or fear for our Lord and Creator.
Instead of thinking of the best way to highlight the simplicity of Islam, instead of gently saying, I don't think this is really something to be joking about, I cave. Instead I posted the following:
Me: Oh I don't know, like different church or a different denomination or a different religion (for example Islam). :-) Really whatever way you feel you should go, I would support you.
And that's it. I feel sick to myself inside, I feel as if I had something of a chance, an easy way to give dawah, to help spread Islam and all I do is write a couple of joking references. :-( I have never felt myself a coward; I chose a new religion and a new life and didn't worry about what my family would say because I knew in my heart it was right.
But to confront them directly, to even hint that they are wrong and I am right, that there is something intrinsically wrong with the faith base they grew up with, that they are comfortable with... it's a difficult, difficult thing to do. I always thought, if given the opportunity, I would rise to the challenge.
I did not.
I created this blog to share some of my passions in life: faith, family, and food! So take off your shoes, have a seat, and enjoy your visit. Welcome ya'll!
Followers
January 30, 2011
January 26, 2011
Tag, you're it part II :-)
Forgive me for doing another one; it's just fun to me! Promise this is the last word collage...for a while! ;-) |
A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. I like these little things; not sure what you call them but I think it's a fun, kind of random way to learn more about each other. I was tagged by Muslim Convert on her blog. Here goes! Oh and I had another post today in case you missed it. :-)
1. How old were you when you started wearing the hijab? I was 33.
2. What or who influenced you to become a hijabi?
I started wearing hijab a few days before taking my shahada. I had finally went to the local masjid after meeting with some sisters for several weeks to ask questions about Islam. The day I went to the masjid another sister helped me put it on and afterwards, because I had stayed so long there, I didn't have time to remove it at home before going to get my sons from school. I hadn't planned on keeping it on but as I sat in my car I knew I believed it to be fard and felt I had no valid excuse to not wear it. Alhamdulillah Allah made it easy for me and I've worn it since.
3. How has hijab changed your life?
It makes me more conscious of Allah swt at all times and serves as a beautiful reminder for me to be modest in my actions not just my dress.
4. What does hijab mean to you?
It is a symbol of my commitment to live a better, more god-concious life.
5. How do you deal with the rude comments/stares you get due to being a hijabi?
One most days I try to deal with stares by "killing with kindness". On my worst days, I've snapped back; after all I'm only human. Once when I was HUGE pregnant with Aaminah an old man at Wal-Mart walked past me and said, without looking, "Go back to your country". I LOUDLY replied, "What country would that be? I was born here, I grew up down the road in Claxton (little farming community)! Where EXACTLY do YOU think I should go?" Alhamdulillah I rarely do that. Don't mess with pregnant women. lol
6. What is your favorite thing about wearing the hijab?
I love that (besides keeping me mindful of my religion and modesty) that it really streamlines my getting out of the house routine. Gone are the days where I wasted an hour of my time to get ready. It's throw and go, sister!
7. What is your hijab must have accessory?
Uh, my head to put it on I guess. Really I just have to have a tie-back polyester khimar. The longer the better. It is the only type I am comfortable in; I HATE wrapped hijabs!!!!! So uncomfortable to me.
8. What advice could you give a newbie hijabi?
I would encourage them to view hijab not as an accessory but as a commitment to Allah to live modestly, in dress and behavior.
9. What is one hijab trend you never understood?
I guess the one I really don't get is when sisters wear hijab and yet are not modest in their behavior or in the rest of their clothing choices. May Allah guide us all on the straight path, amin.
10. What question do you get asked the most due to wearing the hijab?
"Are you hot in that" closely followed by "What religion are you?" If it's summer I usually say "Yes I'm hot but I would be without it too!" or "Yeah, but in the winter I am toasty!". As for what religion I am... I guess that one still kinda surprises me. Maybe because the way I dress I could be taken for a nun so maybe they are confused.
Ma salaama ya'll!!!!
Tag, you're it! Part I
So much fun! I did this at http://www.wordle.net/ How fun! It shows, by size, my most used words. |
A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. Wonder how many people have used that same title? lol Don't care, it's new to me! I think, maybe I have another post titled the same thing. Too lazy to check..
Anyway, my dear Sis Um Zakarya tagged me on her blog, Froggy Hijabi. :-) Thanks sis and here goes my contribution!
Seven things about me:
1. I can "speak" in sign language. It's a unique and helpful skill; I used to work for several years at the school for the deaf in Knoxville, TN.
2. I love music but have given it up for the pleasure of Allah. Not to make you think I am super-pious or "holier than thou" but that in hopes I might inspire someone to give up a makruh/haram thing solely for His pleasure.
3. My two sons are both academically gifted and in the highest levels in all of their classes (as I was at their age as well). Aaminah shows the same signs of being intellectually advanced and I am grateful to Allah for their gifts.
4. I've been to England, India and the United Arab Emirates. :-) Insha'Allah I will travel many more places before I die. I love to experience new places and cultures, but hate travel. (HORRIBLE motion sickness.)
5. The most books I've ever read in a day was 3. It was a snow day when I was about 14. I think the total page count was around 1000 pages masha'Allah.
6. I'm sitting here thinking, how embarrassing if I've posted any of this information before. :-))
Which leads me to #7:
I have this weird thing: I get embarrassed for total strangers, even people on movies or TV shows! If they are doing something really ridiculous/embarrassing it is almost impossible for me to watch it! I've even turned the TV off until that awkward moment past. In real life, for myself, I don't embarrass easily, just for others.
I was also tagged by Sis Muslim Convert from her blog. It's about hijab, and away we go!!!!
Grrrrrr! Blogger won't let me copy and paste from my draft. So now I have to just go there and re-do that post. Can you say annoying? I wanted to combine them. Hmmmmmmm OK since that post isn't finished, I'll just go ahead and do this one now and then post the other in a bit. Ma salaama ya'll! Oh and I tag EVERYBODY who reads my blog and has a blog! Another great idea in my quest to meet more of my sistahs in Islam. Peace out! lol
January 25, 2011
Thanks for all the replies!
A'salaamu alaikum ya'll.vI wanted to say that I was really excited about all the replies I got to my last post "Please introduce yourselves". It's so great to be able to learn a little more about my sisters all over the world. I was going to just write a quick comment on my comments page but decided just to do a quickie post about it.
Jazakum Allahu khair for all who stepped forward; I am very happy to meet all of you and insha'Allah look forward to meeting more in the future!
I had a serious post in mind tonight but I am exhausted and up late so I better scoot on off to bed. It's cold here and I wanna go get snuggly and warm under the covers. Oh quickly on that topic, alhamdulillah A and I have no disagreements about the temp in the house. I prefer it to be on the cold side and he surprisingly likes it fairly cool himself. In order to not freeze the kids into kidsicles we keep it at 68 degrees inside but at night I'd love to drop it to 65.
When I was a teenager we lived in a small trailer that possessed no central heat or air. One winter in particular (money was tight) we only had a tiny wood stove to heat the home. Now if you know what a trailer is like, you know they are long and skinny. The stove was in the main room and my bedroom was at the far end. My parents offered to take my room but I was fine with it. I would snuggle up in my blankets and I could see my breath sometimes! It made me feel strong and capable and I can't sleep with warm air on my face. :-(
Anyway I don't know how I digressed into a childhood memory but there you go. Guess it's what happens when I am blogging late at night when I really should be sleeping. :-)
Insha'Allah I'll have the time soon to post something more coherent. lol Ma salaama!
Jazakum Allahu khair for all who stepped forward; I am very happy to meet all of you and insha'Allah look forward to meeting more in the future!
I had a serious post in mind tonight but I am exhausted and up late so I better scoot on off to bed. It's cold here and I wanna go get snuggly and warm under the covers. Oh quickly on that topic, alhamdulillah A and I have no disagreements about the temp in the house. I prefer it to be on the cold side and he surprisingly likes it fairly cool himself. In order to not freeze the kids into kidsicles we keep it at 68 degrees inside but at night I'd love to drop it to 65.
When I was a teenager we lived in a small trailer that possessed no central heat or air. One winter in particular (money was tight) we only had a tiny wood stove to heat the home. Now if you know what a trailer is like, you know they are long and skinny. The stove was in the main room and my bedroom was at the far end. My parents offered to take my room but I was fine with it. I would snuggle up in my blankets and I could see my breath sometimes! It made me feel strong and capable and I can't sleep with warm air on my face. :-(
Anyway I don't know how I digressed into a childhood memory but there you go. Guess it's what happens when I am blogging late at night when I really should be sleeping. :-)
Insha'Allah I'll have the time soon to post something more coherent. lol Ma salaama!
January 23, 2011
Please introduce yourselves!!!
A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. I did this before and met a couple of lovely sisters masha'Allah! I would really like to hear from some of my readers who span this beautiful, diverse and complex world we live in. I am able to see where people log in from and I would love to get the chance to have a name and a place. :-) I have always been curious about different peoples and different cultures; it's one reason why I love blogging and reading the blogs of others, so we can share our differences and realize our similarities!
So please please pretty please if you haven't done so before, please introduce yourself. Don't be shy; be as long or short as you would like. I would love to have at least a name and a location but, if you don't mind, just tell me a few things about you. I won't post them to my blog if you request they stay private; I am really just curious. :-)
Jazakum Allahu khair,
Umm Aaminah!
So please please pretty please if you haven't done so before, please introduce yourself. Don't be shy; be as long or short as you would like. I would love to have at least a name and a location but, if you don't mind, just tell me a few things about you. I won't post them to my blog if you request they stay private; I am really just curious. :-)
Jazakum Allahu khair,
Umm Aaminah!
January 22, 2011
Been playing around...
A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. This is a short post as I have to run and get the kids out the door to Bukhari school insha'Allah. They have been home for 3 days this week due to MLK day, teacher in-service, AND a snow day. :-(( Poor mama, I need a break; Bukhari school here we come!
Anyway I've been playing around with the basic paint program on my laptop and just having a little fun. It started out so I could make illustrations for my health blog and now I just like to play around with it in general. I have a touchpad on my laptop but I think I might invest in a lower-line drawing tablet; it's hard to have control with my fingertip!
Insha'Allah I plan on doing a longer post maybe tonight or tomorrow; I have a couple of good ideas always floating around. Ma salaama!!!
January 19, 2011
A thought on RasoolAllah's (saws) last words
A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. Sorry I've been neglecting; I had a bit to do to get my new health and fitness blog up and running. So back to our regular chats!
I was speaking with my husband tonight about how our ummah has gone from being at the forefront of health, mathematics, natural sciences, and human rights to the state so many of our brothers and sisters are in right now. (Please, if this is suprising to you, do some research! There is a fun little film produced in the UK with has Sr. Ben Kingsley (if I'm not mistaken) and it highlights just a few of the wondrous advances made by Muslims. However this is the subject for another post; tonight I want to speak about another issue.)
Afghanistan comes to mind when we discuss human rights because of the rule of the Taliban in that country which has historically been very harsh with women. Wallah it breaks my heart to see so many of our brothers and sisters who never understand the beauty of our deen! To never know Allah as Ar-Rahman-ir-Raheem, the merciful, the compassionate. Those who only take what has been placed before them and either don't care to find the truth or simply cannot, given their circumstances (illiteracy being the main one).
I brought up a few cases of mistreatment of our sisters and my husband related to me a hadith I had NEVER heard before now. We've all heard of the last sermon of the Prophet Muhammad saws. 1400 years before Dr. King called for equality, our beloved Prophet told us an Arab isn't better than a non-Arab, that a white isn't better than a black. We are all EQUAL in the sight of Allah. Subhanallah.
No he told me about his actual last words before he died. Any person, upon feeling death imminent, will strive to tell what is most important to them. They will call out for a loved one or ask forgiveness. Of course RasoolAllah (saws) wanted to give advice to us, the future generations, to call attention to those things that are just too important to mess up. So what did he say?
He (saws) said, "Treat your wives JUSTLY and do not neglect your salaat (prayer)." Subhanallah. We, my sisters, we were one of the last thoughts on his mind. He extorted the brothers to treat us justly. What is just? Everything the Qur'an has told us about the treatment of women and girls, every word from the mouth of our beloved Prophet (saws) explains how justice for women is to be found. We are to be cherished and upheld, we are to be sought after and prized, we are to be protected and cared for, and we are to be equal in our religous duties and in the eyes of man.
Our fate, our treatment at the hands of those who all too often have the power to oppress us, was ranked with not forgoing our prayers to the Creator. What can this say to us now? It says (to me) that Allah swt, in His most infinite wisdom, knows the heart of man and his inclination to rule by force. He, subhana wa ta'ala, knows that some of what the beautiful Prophet said would be lost and He wanted this last thing to be fresh on their minds.
It says to me that we are worthy, a thing of love and respect, and to be treated thusly. It speaks to me of the worry the Prophet Muhammad saws had about what he viewed as 2 of the weaknesses of men.
I can only pray that these words will not be lost to time and that our brothers and sisters who struggle now to get out of the darkness of jahiliyya (ignorance) will seek our their deen, will study and find for themselves exactly what it means to be Muslim. Amin.
January 18, 2011
For my sistahs only: EDITED :-)
A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. I've decided to chronicle my weight-loss/healthy living efforts in a private blog. Please feel free to send me a message or reply to this post and I'll add you to the new blog. Of course this is my main blog but I didn't want it to become focused on weight or things of that nature; it's about um well faith, family, food and fun as the title says. :-)
*************UPDATE*****************BREAKING NEWS******************
OK.... I have to add everyone individually who requests it. Not by blogger id but by email address. Daaaang that seems like alot of work. :-( lol I didn't really want the new blog to be viewable by everyone in case I wanted to show before/after pictures but I really don't know what else to do. I guess I'll just open it to anyone and then maybe post pics to a different place that is password protected. Now I see why Umm Travis switched to the other blog space. It would be really nice to have a few posts protected.
So just click on the link to my new blog and it'll whisk you there.
Ma salaama ya'll...
*************UPDATE*****************BREAKING NEWS******************
OK.... I have to add everyone individually who requests it. Not by blogger id but by email address. Daaaang that seems like alot of work. :-( lol I didn't really want the new blog to be viewable by everyone in case I wanted to show before/after pictures but I really don't know what else to do. I guess I'll just open it to anyone and then maybe post pics to a different place that is password protected. Now I see why Umm Travis switched to the other blog space. It would be really nice to have a few posts protected.
So just click on the link to my new blog and it'll whisk you there.
Ma salaama ya'll...
January 13, 2011
Shoes, shoes, shoes!
A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. As you should know by now, I am adamant about trying to live a frugal life insha'allah. I often buy used especially items like winter coats, snow boots, furniture, etc. I have even been known to buy shoes but generally just for Aaminah or myself. Women of course are fickle in their tastes and will buy a thing, wear it once, and then declare it passe. Children are known for outgrowing their items before wearing them out. :-)
I had to go by Target today to pick up a few things. We stopped by the shoe aisle; in general this is a big mistake. Not for myself, although there is a pair of Swiss Army brand hiking shoes I realllly want :-) but their shoes for little kids are so darn cute!
Anyway there was a HUGE and I mean HUGE sale. Up to 70% and it was really really cute things. So I ended up getting 4 pair for Aaminah for only $20.46. Yes that is right and three pair of them were leather masha'Allah. I saved.........(drumroll please!) $61.50!!!!! Alhamdulillah. Anyway here are the 4 pair I got here; there were 2 more pair I liked but I did have *some* self-control. lol
So check out your local Target if you have one handy; alot of great sales right now! Oh and I bought all 3 youngest kids a new winter coat from Sear's; they were only $14.00 each masha'Allah so I splurged. They are for next year as well. :-)
Ma salaama....
I had to go by Target today to pick up a few things. We stopped by the shoe aisle; in general this is a big mistake. Not for myself, although there is a pair of Swiss Army brand hiking shoes I realllly want :-) but their shoes for little kids are so darn cute!
Anyway there was a HUGE and I mean HUGE sale. Up to 70% and it was really really cute things. So I ended up getting 4 pair for Aaminah for only $20.46. Yes that is right and three pair of them were leather masha'Allah. I saved.........(drumroll please!) $61.50!!!!! Alhamdulillah. Anyway here are the 4 pair I got here; there were 2 more pair I liked but I did have *some* self-control. lol
Originally $16.99 I snagged 'em for $4.24! Size 12, she can wear fall of next year or the spring after that insha'allah! |
Cute sk8ter shoes with crystal accents, size 10 can wear next spring/summer. Originally $16.99 only paid $4.24 |
Love these boots, want them myself! These are a size 1; she can't wear them til the winter of 2012/2013. Silly maybe but originally $24.99 and I got 'em for $6.24! |
Super cute boots, size 11, fit next winter insha'Allah. I really liked these! |
Ma salaama....
January 12, 2011
Brrrrrrrr!!!!
A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. Oh the snow! It started after midnight and by 6:00 am we were past 5 inches. Masha'Allah! The wind is blowing steadily over 20mph so we are classed as a blizzard now. This is what I love (sorry for all those who get hardship from the weather but me loving it doesn't make it snow!) to look outside and see white and grey and blowing. It excites me to no end ya'll.
Today I even watched (ok spied!) on a guy cleaning off his car. lol Alhamdulillah we are able to park in the garage but I was mesmerized watching him scrape and brush. The snow looks really heavy and wet subhanallah.
I braved the cold and winds to take some pictures to show everyone. For those of you used to snow, you're gonna say "meh". For my southern sisters and those overseas, I think you will have the same child-like joy I do! :-)
Enjoy and ma salaama!
Today I even watched (ok spied!) on a guy cleaning off his car. lol Alhamdulillah we are able to park in the garage but I was mesmerized watching him scrape and brush. The snow looks really heavy and wet subhanallah.
Typical New England style "salt box" house in front of us. It's really cute masha'Allah. |
I spy with my little eye a car almost covered by the drifting snow. |
Once again this is just about 4 hours worth of snow!!! Subhanallah. |
And a close-up of the snowed-in cars. Shovel, anyone? ;-) |
Enjoy and ma salaama!
January 11, 2011
I've always been an overachiever
A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. As my title says, I've always, been an overachiever. The highest grades, pushing myself to be better scholastically and personally, and even when it comes to weight gain, boy am I a winner! ;-)
Post-transplant it's very common for someone to gain about 20 lbs. I gained 50. Boo-yah! After A and I married, I could tell I was putting on a little but you know, I dress in abayaat and inside I wear house dresses soooo.. kinda easy for the weight to sneak on.
I thought I had gained the 7 lbs people often gain their first year of marriage. Well I was right, I did, plus 8 of it's friends!!!! :-( Add this to an already overweight body and geeze louise, no wonder I feel draggy and tired and fizzled out sometimes (often) occasionally. Hey it's my blog, I'll lie to myself if I want to! :-P
Anyway I used to keep a journal at FitDay. This kind of accountability works wonders for me plus I love charts and graphs. Nerd alert. ;-) Anyway I have faithfully recorded my intake thus far today. DISCLAIMER: In my defense, I ate alot of crap today I don't normally ingest. I mean yeah I might eat it occasionally but for some reason today, the day I started being cognizant of what I put in my mouth, I went crazy.
So by lunch time today here is what my pie chart for breakdown of calories looked like:
Post-transplant it's very common for someone to gain about 20 lbs. I gained 50. Boo-yah! After A and I married, I could tell I was putting on a little but you know, I dress in abayaat and inside I wear house dresses soooo.. kinda easy for the weight to sneak on.
I thought I had gained the 7 lbs people often gain their first year of marriage. Well I was right, I did, plus 8 of it's friends!!!! :-( Add this to an already overweight body and geeze louise, no wonder I feel draggy and tired and fizzled out sometimes (often) occasionally. Hey it's my blog, I'll lie to myself if I want to! :-P
Anyway I used to keep a journal at FitDay. This kind of accountability works wonders for me plus I love charts and graphs. Nerd alert. ;-) Anyway I have faithfully recorded my intake thus far today. DISCLAIMER: In my defense, I ate alot of crap today I don't normally ingest. I mean yeah I might eat it occasionally but for some reason today, the day I started being cognizant of what I put in my mouth, I went crazy.
So by lunch time today here is what my pie chart for breakdown of calories looked like:
Well darn, it was supposed to say the numbers for each!!!! Anyway you should ideally have 40% carbs (not all sugar!!! lol), 30% fat and 30% protein. I had: 55% fat :-((, 32% carbs, and 13% protein. Woe is me. Really that is horrible although I fully blame the tasty little cream puffs that no longer fit in the freezer but HAD to be eaten.
Anyway. So I am going to try the fitday route again; once I can see where I make my errors in calculations (hello little frozen lovelies!) its' easier for me to be concious of what I put in my mouth.
Our body is an amanah (trust) from Allah and we will be responsible to answer for how we misused it. May Allah make this easy on me, amin. :-)
January 10, 2011
Another use for baby socks!
A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. So you remember the post I did recently on the rice-warmer made from a sock? Well the other day Aaminah was complaining her hands were cold as she drank her milk. (We have some insulated cups but not all are.)
Anyway I found a cute stray (outgrown) sock and voila! instant cup-holder to keep little hands from freezing. Redneck? Maybe. Ingenious? You betcha!!! lol
Anyway I found a cute stray (outgrown) sock and voila! instant cup-holder to keep little hands from freezing. Redneck? Maybe. Ingenious? You betcha!!! lol
Awwww my pretty little princess! |
A close-up. :-) |
January 7, 2011
Wonderful article, masha'Allah!!!!!!
A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. I came across this article which was reposted on Bint-ul-mumin's blog. It was originally written by Sr. Yasmin Mogahed and discusses women's roles in Islam and society. It is beautifully written subhanallah and serves as yet another reminder to me about how to view our deen. Not through society's distorted, God-less lens but through the vision given to us by our Creator. Please read and enjoy and don't forget to say "Masha'Allah!".
*SIDE NOTE* Ummm please imagine my surprise when I was googling "no women lead jumah" for a good picture to put with this post when what do I see? MY little Aaminah, 2 photos of her, in her Indian finery. I have to be honest, it was a little off-putting to me. I mean, I know I post pictures of my family on here. I don't have them protected (tried to figure it out but couldn't). It's just kinda weird to me to see my baby's pic pop up like that. Hmmmmm....ok back to our regularly scheduled program.
On March 18, 2005, Amina Wadud led the first female-led jum`ah (Friday) prayer. On that day, women took a huge step towards being more like men. But did we come closer to actualizing our God-given liberation?
I don’t think so.
What we so often forget is that God has honored the woman by giving her value in relation to God—not in relation to men. But as Western feminism erases God from the scene, there is no standard left—except men. As a result, the Western feminist is forced to find her value in relation to a man. And in so doing, she has accepted a faulty assumption. She has accepted that man is the standard, and thus a woman can never be a full human being until she becomes just like a man.
When a man cut his hair short, she wanted to cut her hair short. When a man joined the army, she wanted to join the army. She wanted these things for no other reason than because the “standard” had it.
What she didn’t recognize was that God dignifies both men and women in their distinctiveness – not their sameness. And on March 18, Muslim women made the very same mistake.
For 1400 years there has been a consensus of the scholars that men are to lead prayer. As a Muslim woman, why does this matter? The one who leads prayer is not spiritually superior in any way. Something is not better just because a man does it. And leading prayer is not better, just because it’s leading. Had it been the role of women or had it been more divine, why wouldn’t the Prophet ï·º have asked Ayesha or Khadija, or Fatima—the greatest women of all time—to lead? These women were promised heaven—and yet they never led prayer.
But now, for the first time in 1400 years, we look at a man leading prayer and we think, “That’s not fair.” We think so although God has given no special privilege to the one who leads. The imam is no higher in the eyes of God than the one who prays behind.
On the other hand, only a woman can be a mother. And God has given special privilege to a mother. The Prophet ï·º taught us that heaven lies at the feet of mothers. But no matter what a man does he can never be a mother. So why is that not unfair?
When asked, “Who is most deserving of our kind treatment?” the Prophet ï·º replied, “Your mother” three times before saying “your father” only once. Is that sexist? No matter what a man does he will never be able to have the status of a mother.
And yet, even when God honors us with something uniquely feminine, we are too busy trying to find our worth in reference to men to value it—or even notice. We, too, have accepted men as the standard; so anything uniquely feminine is, by definition, inferior. Being sensitive is an insult, becoming a mother—a degradation. In the battle between stoic rationality (considered masculine) and selfless compassion (considered feminine), rationality reigns supreme.
As soon as we accept that everything a man has and does is better, all that follows is a knee-jerk reaction: if men have it, we want it too. If men pray in the front rows, we assume this is better, so we want to pray in the front rows too. If men lead prayer, we assume the imam is closer to God, so we want to lead prayer too. Somewhere along the line we’ve accepted the notion that having a position of worldly leadership is some indication of one’s position with God.
A Muslim woman does not need to degrade herself in this way. She has God as a standard. She has God to give her value; she doesn’t need a man.
In fact, in our crusade to follow men, we as women never even stopped to examine the possibility that what we have is better for us. In some cases we even gave up what was higher only to be like men.
Fifty years ago, society told us that men were superior because they left the home to work in factories. We were mothers. And yet, we were told that it was women’s liberation to abandon the raising of another human being in order to work on a machine. We accepted that working in a factory was superior to raising the foundation of society—just because a man did it.
Then, after working, we were expected to be superhuman—the perfect mother, the perfect wife, the perfect homemaker—and have the perfect career. And while there is nothing wrong, by definition, with a woman having a career, we soon came to realize what we had sacrificed by blindly mimicking men. We watched as our children became strangers and soon recognized the privilege we’d given up.
And so only now—given the choice—women in the West are choosing to stay home to raise their children. According to the United States Department of Agriculture, only 31 percent of mothers with babies, and 18 percent of mothers with two or more children, are working full-time. And of those working mothers, a survey conducted by Parenting Magazine in 2000, found that 93% of them say they would rather be at home with their kids, but are compelled to work due to ‘financial obligations.’ These ‘obligations’ are imposed on women by the gender sameness of the modern West, and removed from women by the gender distinctiveness of Islam.
It took women in the West almost a century of experimentation to realize a privilege given to Muslim women 1400 years ago.
Given my privilege as a woman, I only degrade myself by trying to be something I’m not – and in all honesty – don’t want to be: a man. As women, we will never reach true liberation until we stop trying to mimic men, and value the beauty in our own God-given distinctiveness.
If given a choice between stoic justice and compassion, I choose compassion. And if given a choice between worldly leadership and heaven at my feet- I chose heaven.
*SIDE NOTE* Ummm please imagine my surprise when I was googling "no women lead jumah" for a good picture to put with this post when what do I see? MY little Aaminah, 2 photos of her, in her Indian finery. I have to be honest, it was a little off-putting to me. I mean, I know I post pictures of my family on here. I don't have them protected (tried to figure it out but couldn't). It's just kinda weird to me to see my baby's pic pop up like that. Hmmmmm....ok back to our regularly scheduled program.
On March 18, 2005, Amina Wadud led the first female-led jum`ah (Friday) prayer. On that day, women took a huge step towards being more like men. But did we come closer to actualizing our God-given liberation?
I don’t think so.
What we so often forget is that God has honored the woman by giving her value in relation to God—not in relation to men. But as Western feminism erases God from the scene, there is no standard left—except men. As a result, the Western feminist is forced to find her value in relation to a man. And in so doing, she has accepted a faulty assumption. She has accepted that man is the standard, and thus a woman can never be a full human being until she becomes just like a man.
When a man cut his hair short, she wanted to cut her hair short. When a man joined the army, she wanted to join the army. She wanted these things for no other reason than because the “standard” had it.
What she didn’t recognize was that God dignifies both men and women in their distinctiveness – not their sameness. And on March 18, Muslim women made the very same mistake.
For 1400 years there has been a consensus of the scholars that men are to lead prayer. As a Muslim woman, why does this matter? The one who leads prayer is not spiritually superior in any way. Something is not better just because a man does it. And leading prayer is not better, just because it’s leading. Had it been the role of women or had it been more divine, why wouldn’t the Prophet ï·º have asked Ayesha or Khadija, or Fatima—the greatest women of all time—to lead? These women were promised heaven—and yet they never led prayer.
But now, for the first time in 1400 years, we look at a man leading prayer and we think, “That’s not fair.” We think so although God has given no special privilege to the one who leads. The imam is no higher in the eyes of God than the one who prays behind.
On the other hand, only a woman can be a mother. And God has given special privilege to a mother. The Prophet ï·º taught us that heaven lies at the feet of mothers. But no matter what a man does he can never be a mother. So why is that not unfair?
When asked, “Who is most deserving of our kind treatment?” the Prophet ï·º replied, “Your mother” three times before saying “your father” only once. Is that sexist? No matter what a man does he will never be able to have the status of a mother.
And yet, even when God honors us with something uniquely feminine, we are too busy trying to find our worth in reference to men to value it—or even notice. We, too, have accepted men as the standard; so anything uniquely feminine is, by definition, inferior. Being sensitive is an insult, becoming a mother—a degradation. In the battle between stoic rationality (considered masculine) and selfless compassion (considered feminine), rationality reigns supreme.
As soon as we accept that everything a man has and does is better, all that follows is a knee-jerk reaction: if men have it, we want it too. If men pray in the front rows, we assume this is better, so we want to pray in the front rows too. If men lead prayer, we assume the imam is closer to God, so we want to lead prayer too. Somewhere along the line we’ve accepted the notion that having a position of worldly leadership is some indication of one’s position with God.
A Muslim woman does not need to degrade herself in this way. She has God as a standard. She has God to give her value; she doesn’t need a man.
In fact, in our crusade to follow men, we as women never even stopped to examine the possibility that what we have is better for us. In some cases we even gave up what was higher only to be like men.
Fifty years ago, society told us that men were superior because they left the home to work in factories. We were mothers. And yet, we were told that it was women’s liberation to abandon the raising of another human being in order to work on a machine. We accepted that working in a factory was superior to raising the foundation of society—just because a man did it.
Then, after working, we were expected to be superhuman—the perfect mother, the perfect wife, the perfect homemaker—and have the perfect career. And while there is nothing wrong, by definition, with a woman having a career, we soon came to realize what we had sacrificed by blindly mimicking men. We watched as our children became strangers and soon recognized the privilege we’d given up.
And so only now—given the choice—women in the West are choosing to stay home to raise their children. According to the United States Department of Agriculture, only 31 percent of mothers with babies, and 18 percent of mothers with two or more children, are working full-time. And of those working mothers, a survey conducted by Parenting Magazine in 2000, found that 93% of them say they would rather be at home with their kids, but are compelled to work due to ‘financial obligations.’ These ‘obligations’ are imposed on women by the gender sameness of the modern West, and removed from women by the gender distinctiveness of Islam.
It took women in the West almost a century of experimentation to realize a privilege given to Muslim women 1400 years ago.
Given my privilege as a woman, I only degrade myself by trying to be something I’m not – and in all honesty – don’t want to be: a man. As women, we will never reach true liberation until we stop trying to mimic men, and value the beauty in our own God-given distinctiveness.
If given a choice between stoic justice and compassion, I choose compassion. And if given a choice between worldly leadership and heaven at my feet- I chose heaven.
My odd vocabulary
This is from 2006 when I first converted to Islam. My boys are now taller than I am masha'Allah! |
1. You welky. Yep, welky. Compliments of baby Zack around the age of 2. It's his interpretation of "You're welcome". Oh and iffen ya don't like baby talk, just ignore this post because I am sure most of my weird/funny words come from them. :-)
2. It's emba'istin. Another Zack classic, this time his personal take of "It's embarassing". It's probably embarassing that my sister and I STILL use it, even in the company of non-family strangers. Uh yeah.
3. Lallooo. Aaminah at age 1 trying to say "I love you.". I still get texts from A stating how much he adores me in this term. :-) Masha'Allah.
4. Eshay feffay. Ya Allah, this one IS emba'istin. :-D This is purely, PURELY my own made up word. Often said in a type of sigh when I'm super tired or in place of "I can't be bothered, whatever." Uh huh. This one is really just kinda weird. Don't know where it came from but it delights my sister and friends to no end when I utter it.
Actually this was a dialysis-era word that was born from my utter exhaustion, during the time when even 3 steps were too hard to climb in one go. So all things considered, eshay feffay is not so embarassing. ;-)
5. Rabby bunnits. This is Aaminah's uber-cute take on the phrase "bunny rabbit". How much cuter is hers???
6. Hitch in my git-a-long. Mmm. Not sure on the etymology of this one; has anyone heard it before? I like to use this when my back/hip is causing me to walk in a twisted manner reminiscent of the Hunchback of Notre Dame (herniated disc between L5 & L4 plus compressed vertbrae, fun fun!) This injury is actually a result of my peritoneal dialysis; what a great momento, along with my "2nd belly button" looking scar from the tube. Ah good times, good times!
7. I'm smarter than I am nice. Masha'Allah this was a quote from Alex when he was about 3 or 4. I told him, "It's ok. Because you cannot be any more intelligent than the way you were born, but you can work on being nicer". I don't remember alot of the cute words he said because I had my stroke when he was just 3 months old. Funny how it wiped out sooo much of his early life in my memory. :-( Insha'Allah I'll ask his father for some of the words he remembers.
I remember a lot of THINGS but words, funny ways of saying things, just aren't coming to me. When asked what he wanted to be when he grew up he promptly and confidently replied: "A chef. Or a bird." LOL So I have lots of anecdotes but can't really remember some other things. Anyway onward....
8. This isn't really vocabulary but its a funny speech mannerism. My friend, we'll call her L (as in Sr. Lisa!!!!) and I like to sing, operatically, everyday ordinary conversations. It's hilarious to us and a never-ending source of amusement to her little girl, Aliyah. I now share this proud tradition with Aaminah and we will sing whatever nonsense we see going on in the world around us.
For example: "Do you see that light? That light pole that is tilted? It's going to fall." (Imagine my falsetto voice which is normally an alto. :-) Aaminah replies: "That light will fall on us?" in very cute sing song. OK you get the idea. Oh and I do assure her it won't fall on her because I won't park under it. lol
9. The bees. When Zack was little he couldn't pronounce the "oy" sound. So toys were tees and boys were... yep you guessed it, bees. So when I would talk about my pair of sons I would say the bees. And yes, my sister, to this day, also refers to my strapping sons that way. :-)
10. Zac-a-wee, Zac-a-bee. One of Alex's first words was his older brother's name. Of course, I mean how many times a day would he hear that? lol He said it sooo cute masha'Allah, sing-song, zack-uh-BEE, Zack-uh-Wee! It makes me smile to remember it!!!!!
Alright there are probably more but that's all I can think of for now. Enjoy! Please share any weird-isms ya'll have in your family vocabulary. :-)
January 5, 2011
To some of my non-Muslim readers...
A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. I got a few comments by non-Muslims prompted by my post on Christmas and it's pagan origins. Masha'Allah all comments were very respectful but I feel it's more expedient to reply to them in a separate blog entry as opposed to commenting on an older post so others may be involved if they wish.
I have taken the liberty of copying the last 2 comments by Steve and Fisher and then I will post my reply below it. Really it isn't rocket science, I am sure ya'll can follow. lol
Fisher said...
Sorry, I must have missed the post containing (your) conversion story. Perhaps you could link me to it, and I can read it. :-)
Yes it can be found here on my blog; look under Islam or salaat. I will try and put a searchable box up on my blog soon insha'Allah.
And you'll have to forgive me for partially fulfilling the stereotype, but I do tend to be a bit of a gadfly when it comes to questioning people on why they believe what they believe. The reason for that, I suppose, was that I was a very skeptical teenager who rejected all religions. Now that I've become a Christian, I don't really see the "inconsistencies" that you say that you saw. Sure, there are "apparent" contradictions, but I find that they all go away the more I study the problem passages.
Now, that being said, I can't help but wonder... you say you can't accept Jesus being God or son of God, and being a Muslim, I suppose you now say that he is just a prophet and didn't really die on the cross as an atoning sacrifice... what I want to know is what do you do with OT Messianic passages such as Psalm 110, Isaiah 9:6-7, 53:3-12? It seems to me that those beliefs were predicted long before Christianity even arrived, and I wonder how Islam can affirm Jesus' messiahship in light of those passages.
Steve said...
"To be succinct, I had (by the time I was 13) issues with: Jesus being God AND son, inconsistencies as far as picking and choosing what to take from the OT, and serious inconsistencies between versions of the Bible and even books of the NT." (This was from my previous reply to Fisher.)
Can you clarify what you mean by inconsistencies between versions, and perhaps explan (sic) what (if at all) this had to do with the issues that arose in your mind?
Fisher and Steve or anyone else interested: please see http://anaashad.blogspot.com/2010/06/my-path-to-islam.html for a story of my conversion.
As for any more in-depth answers...this just isn't what I enjoy. :-) My husband is HUGE on interfaith dialogue (he is a respected shaykh/mufti/fiqh scholar) and this is the type of conversation he relishes. Me, not so much. I love to answer questions about Islam for those who know nothing of the religion or who are afraid of it; I like to help dispel myths and show people the beauty and justice that is inherent in Islam.
Comparative religion just isn't my cup o' tea. I believe what I believe and I do so with intelligence and due diligence :-) but that doesn't mean I intend to take hours of my precious free time (4 kids remember?) to look up Biblical passages to try and justify my beliefs. No more than I would go to a non-Muslim's blog and ask them to reason why they believe what they believe.
Of course, on my own blog, I will post whatever I feel like posting; if I wanna proclaim my religion from the minaret (so to speak) so be it. If I want to post something I feel is beneficial or can make other people question their actions, I will do that also. But to be drawn into a long, drawn-out debate/discussion on the whys and whats... well I just don't wanna.
To be honest, I don't even want to discuss this with my husband because he ADORES this type of interaction BUT I am the typist in the house which will (yep you guessed it!) keep me busy during my precious quiet time at night trying to keep up with his train of thought.
So thanks for reading, I hope you learn something you didn't before about Islam and Muslims, but if you want interfaith dialogue of the deeper kind, I would encourage you to contact your local masjid and ask them for a knowledgeable brother you can debate with instead. :-)
And with Allah lies all success.
Time for some randomness!
A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. I've had alot of ideas for posts lately but seems like as soon as one pops in my head I either get sidetracked and forget or just too busy. I've been cooking some different things lately and really want to do some recipes; I made a verrrry yummy blueberry cobbler that is beggin' to be posted. I took pics of all the stages, mainly because the blueberries are just so vibrant and look great in the shiny cookware. lol Insha'Allah I'll post it soon; right now I'm just gonna put out some of my random thoughts that I've wanted to share but don't really warrant a complete post. :-) Oh and as always, it's in LIST format.
1. OK now that I am sitting here, all ready to go, my mind has frozen. Um great. So #1 on my list is "My mind refuses to work". On with the show!
2. My alter-ego is the musician P!nk (Pink). I have to say I think she is awesome and I would love to be able to give dawah to her. :-) She is strong and unapologetic; however, she is also not very modest which gave me a hard time when trying to find a suitable photo for my blog. ;-) BTW the tattoo in the pic below is not real.
3. We had a super duper snow storm here in MA last week. I mean loads of snow; we had over a foot where I live plus very high winds. It was officially termed a blizzard. Here is a pic I took about 3 days after the intitial snow; we had to wait for the winds to subside before we could venture out with little Aaminah in tow!
4. Aaminah has such an imagination now masha'Allah! She was re-telling me the story of the 3 Little Pigs but at the end, the Big Bad Wolf makes off with the baby in his car and MAMA Pig comes to save it! Ah I'm a heroine at last!!!!
5. I wish blogger would let you type while uploading photos. Sometimes it takes a while to load and I sit here, fingers still. :-)
6. I really love body piercing and used to have (besides my ears) my eyebrow and nose pierced. I removed my eyering when I became Muslim and took my nose ring out when I married A because he didn't like it. (I was previously married to an Indian so he didn't have an issue with it.)
6. Still missing my sons; this never goes away or lessens. I also miss my little dog Nova; he was a part of our family for over 7 years and he was AWESOME. I eventually found him a new home but it was one of the harder things I have done in my life. :-(
Alright my lazy post is over. Hope you enjoyed. Ma salaama....
1. OK now that I am sitting here, all ready to go, my mind has frozen. Um great. So #1 on my list is "My mind refuses to work". On with the show!
2. My alter-ego is the musician P!nk (Pink). I have to say I think she is awesome and I would love to be able to give dawah to her. :-) She is strong and unapologetic; however, she is also not very modest which gave me a hard time when trying to find a suitable photo for my blog. ;-) BTW the tattoo in the pic below is not real.
I love her hair; I would soooo have it if my husband wouldn't die from fright and disgust. :-) |
3. We had a super duper snow storm here in MA last week. I mean loads of snow; we had over a foot where I live plus very high winds. It was officially termed a blizzard. Here is a pic I took about 3 days after the intitial snow; we had to wait for the winds to subside before we could venture out with little Aaminah in tow!
View from front of our apartment building with view of snow pushed up by snow plow. Really it was sooo beautiful! |
5. I wish blogger would let you type while uploading photos. Sometimes it takes a while to load and I sit here, fingers still. :-)
6. I really love body piercing and used to have (besides my ears) my eyebrow and nose pierced. I removed my eyering when I became Muslim and took my nose ring out when I married A because he didn't like it. (I was previously married to an Indian so he didn't have an issue with it.)
Eid-ul-Adha (I think!) 2009. You can see my nose ring and a super-tired little Aamimah, miskeena. :-( Eid is hard on the kids, waking up early, dressing up, fixing their hair, etc. etc. |
6. Still missing my sons; this never goes away or lessens. I also miss my little dog Nova; he was a part of our family for over 7 years and he was AWESOME. I eventually found him a new home but it was one of the harder things I have done in my life. :-(
Alright my lazy post is over. Hope you enjoyed. Ma salaama....
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