And yet again...

A'salaamu alaikum. I received another couple of comments from an anon. I wouldn't repost it here except they cast aspersions on my ex-husband A. So it made me think, if one person feels this way maybe others do as well. So I have decided to post our comments here.

Anonymous said...

thats why you should never consider leaving these awesome countries you are born in for some muslim country where even their citizens don't have rights. btw i was born and raised in a muslim country and moved to usa. i found this country gives me freedom to practice whatever i want to practice much better than my muslim majority country.

coolred blog is an example why should you not leave your country or marry a foreigner.

Umm Aaminah said...

Anon, I am not sure where your comment came from. I do enjoy the rights and priveleges that I have as an American citizen. I do not agree with US foreign policy on almost all issues, however.

As for moving to a Muslim majority country or marrying a "foreigner" that is purely up to each individual. I love to travel and would love to be able to visit more countries. I prefer to live in my own. Many sisters are very happy living overseas and I am happy for them. Many are also happy with their foreign-born husbands.

Although A and I divorced, he was never anything but kind and respectful to me. I wish him the best in this life and the next, amin.

Apparently this did little to soothe Anon's worry for me. Next I received:

Anonymous said...

ok then why did he divorce you? why did you have to leave his house with no money? why is he not paying you now?

So here is my reply, not being posted to the comment box:

As I stated, A has been nothing but kind to me. Yes I left with no money but that was of my own volition. Although I am sure it is none of your business, he is paying my relocation fees upwards of $1000. He is in NO way obligated to do so; he is merely doing it because I am his sister in Islam.
Also he has packed up all of my belongings and moved them to storage until my apt is ready to move into here. Once again, only fi sabilillah.

Our marriage ended because of personal issues which had NOTHING to do with our shared religion. We both have faults and I will not detail any of his here although mine I frequently admit to.
A wife is to hold a husband's secrets and that pertains even after divorce. Therefore anything about A is no one else's business.

He is not obligated to pay me anything. I left our home of my own desire. I requested khula which he assented to due to the issues we jointly had.  Khula is where the woman is able to request separation and it involves (usually) the foreiture of the mahr. I've written about it on here before. We partly amicably and with sadness as well.

He was never anything but kind, courteous, and appreciative of anything I ever did for him. He treated me as a cherished wife, friend, and advisor. Divorce will not change my opinion of him and I pray Allah swt gives him the best, amin.

I hope that answers your questions!

Niqaab: my personal dilemma

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. I've thought alot recently about wearing the niqaab, the reasonings for and against it, etc. I'll be honest, I've always felt very strongly drawn towards it. Maybe because of my early pre-teen warping from reading trashy romance novels where the ladies in the harem were always covered in diphaneous wisps of face veils. :-D However, I'd like to believe it's a bit deeper than that. lol

From the time I first became Muslim I have thought about wearing niqaab. I've grown leaps and bounds in my modesty and haya since I converted almost 5 yrs ago. *Not that I was necessarily WRONG in what I wore in the beginning* but I do personally feel if a sister is drawn towards the niqaab she should be exceedingly modest in her manner of dress as well as her actions.

When I was a new Muslim alhamdulillah I had such a piece-meal, mixed up wardrobe. Wallah I laugh when I see my early pictures from India. Subhanallah!!!! Pleasssse my sisters, picture this (mentally cause I don't have these photos on this laptop):  newbie-issue al-amira pull over hijab COMPLETE with lace edging, long green poly-silk kameeze gifted from friend, long peasant-style denim skirt from Wal-Mart (super cute, still have it just a little too snug at the mo'), and dark grey/neon green New Balance shoes.

Oh my aching sides!!!! I still giggle when I see those pics. Oh wait, the coup-de-etat (sp?): I tossed a niqaab on top of that hot mess. Yes my sisters I did. You see, at least where and when I was in India (Mumbai/Maharashtra/Nagpur area, 2006) Muslims sisters ONLY went  out of the house in full on, black head-to-toe, abaya/hijab/niqaab ensemble. I kid you not. WITH full clothing on underneath. Ya Rabb, I am sweating just thinkin' about it!!!!! So imagine how I stood out! Warning, another side-splitting description coming up:

White skin, green eyes, southern US accent even in my "a'salaamu alaikum", chubby, dressed to kill (with laughter!), and a smile bigger than Texas permanently on my face. Ya'll, I had just married and was having the adventure of a lifetime. My fashion woes would NOT hold me back. Anyway so all this together *kinda* stand out from the average niqaabi sister floating around oh-so-gracefully. I wore the niqaab to fit in and to please my new husband while in his home country. I do, in my rather weak defense, have to go ahead and say I quickly had more appropriate clothing made and eventually made some of my forays in a lovely black abaya I still own, and my first ever purchased.

OK sorry I got sidetracked. Then when I was in UAE I wore a form of niqaab called a ghashwa (please see post topics on the sidebar for a pic of me decked out in that). By that time (last year) I was very modest in my dress (and alhamdulillah matching!!! lol) and felt it was a much better fit for me.

So where is my problem? Well turns out I got lots of them! I'll just list them for you.

1. My non-Muslim family. Already how I dress makes them uncomfortable sometimes. I am afraid if I wear niqaab it will totally alienate them, especially when I would tell them that it isn't required. Hmmm. I don't want the few times I am able to spend with them to be awkward for them or me.

2. Dawah issues. In the West women in niqaab are somewhat feared I think. Right now I have the opportunity to speak with people, give a smile, make some type of interaction with them which I think isn't as possible with the niqaab. I might be wrong.

3. Perserverance. I am afraid I might start it and then find it too difficult and give it up. I don't like to fail and I don't like to start a thing and not be able to finish it. Except for craft projects, noooo problem with that!

4. Loss of identity. I am not positive I would feel this way but I guess when I think of this, it's mostly in mind that when I am out with Aaminah and she can't see my emotions on my face; my happiness or pride in her.

OK so that pretty much sums up my "Things that make you go 'hmmmm'" list. :-) So why WOULD I want to wear it? Where is the dilemma?

I want to please Allah. I want to have more good deeds than bad on yawma-qiyamat. I want to do more to improve myself, make me feel closer to Allah. I know, it would be better for my soul to pray all my sunnah and nafil prayers or became a hafiza. I can't do those things. I get side-tracked or the kids are crazy or dinner needs cooked. Sometimes I'm just downright lazy. :-(  I feel wearing the niqaab, like wearing the hijaab, is an easy way to please Allah. It's as simple as that.

How many of you have flirted with the idea of niqaab? Who used to wear it but removed it and why? Pros, cons, questions of your own... please post them all. :-)

Still on vacation!

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll! I am kinda sorry I didn't bring my laptop because I could have been downloading and sharing photos as we go. Alhamdulillah, our other one is being repaired so I left it at home for A. Also I didn't really need yet another bag to keep up with, now did I?

I am having a great time but feel guilty being away from A. He got sick, Yousef the youngest got sick and Nurse Jeanna is nowhere around. Alhamdulillah. Insha'allah they are both on the mend and I guess this will make my market value raise even more, yeah? ;-)

My family celebrates Thanksgiving every year. I do attend as it isn't a religious gathering for my family, just about family and good food! So this year masha'allah they decided to have it in October so I could be present. We had it at my sister's soon to be opened restaurant, The Groovy Dawg Cafe. :-) It was great and so much fun masha'Allah. Zachary sang and played his guitar and Aaminah even joined in the fun. And yes, sisters, I know music is haram, I know stringed instruments are haram. My son isn't Muslim, he is a Christian, I just enjoyed spending time with him while he enjoyed himself.

My sons are huge masha'Allah! Such wonderful young men. I could really just go on and on about them. I love them so much and now it will be even harder to leave them. It's difficult because I love A so much and I love my sons and right now, those 2 things are in different places. Insha'allah it will all work out and please sisters make dua for us that Allah reunited us all soon amin!

OK I need to go. Just wanted to update, and thank my followers. Really I love knowing that people keep up with my life and that insha'Allah I have such a beautiful circle of sisters who love me for the sake of Allah swt as I love each and every one of you. We may not meet in person but we can pray for each other and beseech Allah to help and guide the others in times of distress and crisis.

May Allah bless us all amin!!!!

Leave of absence

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. I'm leaving tomorrow to head back to K-town, Knoxvegas, Knoxville. Whatever you call it, that's where I'm going. I can't wait to see my family and friends again. I even planned my trip so I'd have 2 Fridays there so I could attend my old masjid for jumah prayer. I think I put that in a previous post but I'm too lazy to fact check. Just thought I'd add it again.

My baby (well my baby boy) Alex has a cross-country race on Tuesday evening. I am really excited I get to be a part of that and experience it with him. I am very proud of my sons; they are just awesome boys. They were very close to Aaminah before we moved and I am eager for all 3 of them to get reconnected too. My dream, my goal, is for my family to move back to Knoxville. I like Hudson; its very pretty here and nice weather although I don't know how I'll drive in the snow!!! But my heart is in East TN along with my sons.

It's about 10:30 pm here right now and I've been busy all day. Because I had been sick last week and in the hospital I had quite a bit of laundry to put away and then more to do. Clean the bathroom, make dinner for A and the kids for tomorrow; I really don't want him to have too many burdens from my trip. He's being great about it but I know it's a hardship for him to have to take care of his 3 while working, with me and Aaminah gone. Insha'allah I'll enjoy my trip but enjoy coming home as well!

I made this little "card" for him as well as some small sentiments. I gussied 'em up on Word and printed them out to hide in little places. One in his sock drawer, one in the shower, and one.... maybe in the mailbox. :-) Better put it in an envelope if I don't want the mailman reading. :-) Actually they are all in Arabic so obviously I was limited in what I said. I think I used "ya habib", and "my husband, my life" and "I love you, habib" or something like that. A found a neat website that lets you type arabic phonetically and it converts it to Arabiy. Masha'Allah nice and now I can leave little Arabic love letters around the house. Sweet....

Alrighty, I better go. I need to make sure I got all my last minute things packed. Please make du'a for me that my trip goes smoothly ( I have an rx for meclizine for motion sickness yes!!!) and that our visit is lovely and just long enough. :-)

Ma salaama.....

'Alam alaikum ya'll

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. Aaminah says "'Alam alaikum" and I think its just too cute masha'allah. Wanted to share. Oh and when she says "quiet" it sounds a little like "carrot" so I've caught myself telling the older kids "be carrot!". Yeah, I get some strange looks on that one. :-) Well we pretty much all love that little curly-headed sweetie so her "aami-isms" tend to catch on.

Here is a quick synopsis of what I've learned this Ramadhan:

1. Any missed fasting days must be atoned for. If you cannot make them up, you must pay to feed one poor person for every day missed.

2. You do not have to pay them before the next Ramadhan if you are unable but you must keep track. I had to go back and be very lenient when trying to recount.

3. You can pay it overseas especially if there isn't true hunger in your area or you cannot afford it. For example, here it's about $8 per day. I have many days to make up for (due to my illness and ongoing inability to fast). I had incorrectly thought I wasn't responsible because I was very poor during those years. Alhamdulillah I have now learned but cannot afford to pay $$$ so I am able to send money overseas at the rate it is required there and insha'Allah help someone truly hungry!

4. There are 7 different ways to recite Qur'an. All are the same language, Fus'ha (classical Arabic) but just different pronounciations. So it's like "tomatoe" and "tomahtoe"; same meaning slightly different sound. None is more correct than another.

5. I have learned about several different sahaba. I actually need to post a story on Saad ibn abi Waqas insha'Allah. :-)

6. Now I know this will get some people excited but please bear with me. And know I am not trying to change anyone else's interpretation, just showing mine. Human sperm is not najasa. Nowhere in the Qur'an nor hadith/sunnah does it say this. Humans would not be made from filth; to me it's very self-evident.

Ma salaama...

salam! I am zainab! love you! I am 10!

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. That was a guest-post by my stepdaughter, Zainab. :-) She was "guarding" the laptop for me while I put Aaminah to bed.

And that brings me to the body of this quickie post. I was on my way home today from an appointment and A called. He wanted me to pick something up for him at the store and ask when I would be home. He then said, "Habiba, I got you a surprise". Hmmm. I was just about to stop and grab a quick something before heading home so I ask, envisioning chocolate doughnuts or the like, "Is it food?" lol

"Nope," he said. I told him I'd be home in a bit insha'Allah. I figured maybe he had gotten me some flowers or some other little thing. I was really pleased; I like the effort not the end result so just knowing he had done something specifically for me made me one happy girl.

When I get home, he says, "Oh it's in the bedroom". OK! Sign me up! Although this is a little too metrosexual for my husband. LOL I walk in to find not a trail of rosepetals, but a brand new laptop, still in the box. Woot woot! Better than a seduction scene and far longer lasting than flowers!

How sweet is that? My laptop, which I love, has not been been dealt kindly with by his kids. Tripping over the power cord, knocking it off the table, etc. etc. 3 headsets broken... I'll stop there. :-) Wasn't this just a nice surprise? Masha'Allah, I have a thoughtful husband.

Ma salaama...

Go to sleep, go to sleeeeeeep!

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. A four hour nap does not a sleepy girl make. Now Aaminah is wiiiiide awake and it's almost 11 pm. I didn't realize she had slept so long and I left to run an errand. A didn't realize either but guess who is up with her? lol Of course Mama.

I am also considering going back to finish my degree. Maybe I am the person who has been in school the longest without completing anything; what a recognition. lol I originally started university directly after high school but wasn't able to complete the semester. I was already sick then but didn't know it and I just couldn't focus. I mean my grades were awesome, all As but come on, they were easy classes. I had no drive, no ambition and it really wasn't like me.

Fast forward about 5 years. Zack was 3 and I felt he was old enough for me to attempt again. I was working full-time at TN school for the deaf and went to school on weekends. I did Anatomy and Physiology I and II plus some other small classes. I had a 3.8 GPA masha'Allah all while working full-time and being a mommy and wife. Then I got pregnant with Alex and put it on hold again.

Returned when he was two and completed a year but my kidneys had failed by then and I was on dialysis. Just got too sick, had too many surgeries, same old story. :-)

Transplant was 2002 and that same year I decided to fast-track (due to divorce) and just go for my LPN and later work on my RN. However 6 months into the program, you guessed it, I ended up missing too many hours and had to drop out.

So now my health is somewhat stable (if you dont think of my multiple infections and hospitalizations this past year) and I realllllly want to finish my degree. If I ever go overseas for an extended period I could help our family insha'Allah.

Please make dua that Allah makes this easy on us amin and I am able to start AND finally finish. Amin amin amin! :-)

Ma salaama!

Busy, oh so busy

*Ain't she just the purtiest little thang you ever did see?*

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll! I've been meaning to do a post for while but you know, life gets in the way. :-) First I'll update everyone on my famiy, then get to the meat of the posting!

I finally had my i.v. pulled. Alhamdulillah! It was in for SIX WEEKS this time subhanallah. I pray the infection is gone but Allahu alim, time will tell. I have an appointment with a uro-gynecologist to have a little look-see (southernism!) at my hoo-haa (immature word for my "you know whats".) Wait, that's immature too! lol ANYWAY glad to be infection-free insha'allah. Uh, infection in my urinary tract for those of you thinking otherwise. :-)

I always like to keep up with the other sisters out there in the virtual world. Some make me smile, some make me think, others make me think, "what the..." lol. But I enjoy them all. I was reading on this Muslim Mama's blog the other day (she had a little rant) and really some of it was just too funny. Especially the part about personal hygiene. Sis, wanna hear my "dirty" secret? Once a friend and  I had a VH1's "Behind the Music" fest and did nothing but watch it the entire weekend. I mean we didn't change out of our pajamas, we didn't cook, and no, we didn't shower. Nice. Oh, and that has never been repeated again btw. :-)

I am still not feeling my new masjid. I know I could do more to feel a part. I think it's kinda like when your dog dies and you feel guilty petting the new puppy. I miss my old masjid and sisters there so much I can't feel too good at the new one. And, yeah, it's realllly different here. At least this Jumah I got 3 salaams. Woo-hoo! ;-) New record. In my previous masjid, which I still think of as MY masjid, I went out of my way to be involved, volunteer, work for the masjid and school, etc. Now I have no time for volunteering. I know and believe my place is in the home, that I should care for my husband, family, and home first. I firmly believe this but I do miss being involved in my local community. Insha'allah as the kids grow a bit (really meaning Aaminah!) I can do so again.

Ohhhhhhh I gotta share this with you all! My brother is currently a mandatory guest at one of the state of Tennessee's finer establishments. Um, prison, yeah. Not a violent crime but repeat offeneder. ANYWHO... I got a letter from him. Nice, telling me how he is working on his education, has gained 30 lbs (good for him, he is small), blah blah blah. Nice no talk about dropped soap and near misses. LOL Alhamdulillah.

However, before I could even read the letter, as I drew it out from the envelope, my eyes fell on his p.s. which was written on the back page. All it said was this:

"P.S. Is there any ladies who would like to correspond? Please have them write."

WTHeck? Are you serious? My brother, and let's forget even the fact I am Muslim and don't do anything like that nor do my friends, but my elder brother asking me to be his pimp. Authubillah! Toooooo funny and really just set the tone for me to read the rest of his letter. I didn't even mention it in my return reply; I'll put in a few pamphlets on Islam though and insha'allah he might read them.

OK this has been a crazy, all-over-the-place kinda post. I'll end it here now before my brain just goes completely out.

Ya'll have a great weekend! Ma salaama.....

Let's talk about the hard stuff...

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. My heart's feeling a little heavy tonight; normally I am the kind of person who can put almost anything into perspective and feel pretty good about it. It's a blessing from Allah; I just don't obsess, especially about things I can't control. Usually.

I called my sons tonight. As you may have read, they still live in TN with their father. They are 13 and almost 17 and are truly two of the lights of my life. I carried them in my womb, I felt their first kicks, I was there when they took their first breath. These are the firsts you share with almost no one else in this world.

My sons are moving into manhood now, at a furious pace. Alex's voice is so deep I often think I've gotten a wrong number and somehow Zachary has became so smooth, so diplomatic, I could imagine I am speaking with a lawyer, not a high school junior. Masha'allah they have grown up and I am not there with them.

I miss my home, I miss my family, I miss my masjid, my sisters, my friends. I miss knowing how to drive ANYWHERE I need to be. I miss being able to be understood when I speak.

My sons? There isn't a word strong enough to express how I feel without them.

Ma salaama.

I'v e lost my mo-jo!!!!!

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. The most heinous thing has happened... no I didn't lose my copy of "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure". ;-) I've lost my COOKING mo-jo!!! Yes I know, this is a distressing turn of events indeed. I really pride myself on a being a good cook. Not a chef, definitely not a preparer of haute cuisine, but a good, basic, feed-my-family-nourishing-meals kinda cook. A little inventive and alotta good eating. Masha'Allah. :-)

However the past 3 dishes didn't go over so great or at least portions of them. To start with, I made a roast. I took a lovely red and white marbled 3lb piece of halal zabiha beef and cooked it with the standard accompaniment of root vegetables. It was ok but not noteworthy.

Then I made spaghetti. Foolproof right? Guess not. The sauce (I used bottled.. all you food purists out there can kiss my behind; I'm not peeling tomatoes!) was a bit sweet. It was a tomato & basil sauce and like most commercially prepared sauces, had a little sweet taste. I enjoyed it but my husband wasn't a fan.

Last night was broiled salmon with a typical North African spice mixture pressed into the top and yellow rice with salad. The rice was... unfortunate. I tried to add a couple of Maggi chicken cubes to the water and it was salty. Waaaay too salty. :-( The salmon was ok and the salad.. well it's just salad isn't it.

OK so in retrospect maybe I haven't really lost my cooking mojo but I felt my meals this past week were uninspired to say the least. Plus my husband prefers more fish and chicken as opposed to red meat. I grew up on hamburger meat in various forms; I think chicken was just more expensive so we didn't have it as often.

I have rarely encountered this lack of culinary excitement and inspiration. Part of the problem is A was sick with pnuemonia the past week so wasn't hungry for alot of things anyway. Then coupled with his personal and cultural foods preferences, it can become a challenge.

I must say that my husband never complains about the food if he doesn't like it. He follows the example of our Prophet saws and simply doesn't eat it if he doesn't like the taste. Of course it makes me feel bad, hence this post.

So if any of ya'll have some healthy ideas (we've both gained about 7 lbs since we married subhanallah!) for quick, delicious meals especially seafood please share. My country-style cooking doesn't really sit well with A's palate or stomach. :-)

Ma salaama...

Hmm hmm good!

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll! This is an overdue food post. I decided (from my backlog of yummy recipes) to pick the Tunisian feast my husband prepared for me shortly after I arrived in Massachusetts.

My favorite part was helping A in the kitchen. It was really fun cooking with someone instead of being in there all alone while everyone else has a good time watching me sweat it out! :-)

This was a traditional Tunisian feast. Of course the meat of choice is lamb which I am not a fan of to be honest. It has a heavy aftertaste to me. I grew up in the south and you couldn't even find lamb in the grocery stores until about 10 years ago!

So let me run through what we made and a brief list of ingredients. My husband cooks by intuition, not recipes so it was a handful a pinch a smattering. lol His spices will change with his whims. Really he is fun to cook with masha'Allah. Oh I will also double check all the ingedients with him and will update my blog tomorrow to reflect anything I might have left out.

First I'll tell you about the tagine. This is Tunisian tagine not Moroccan so get the idea of a meat/veggie stew out of your mind. :-) You take cooked lamb cubes and grind them til they are almost a paste. Yes really a paste. Interesting concept. Then mix that with a couple of eggs and some finely diced cooked potato. This is kind of like an American hash. When I say finely I mean tiny uniform cubes. Really small. :-)

Anyway you take a large bunch of parsley and another of dill. Also some green onions. Trim the root ends and weed out obvious nasties. :-) Chop finely. I mean fine. Really really small pieces. Mix the cooked lamb paste, the eggs, potatoes and herbs. Then layer a nice thick covering of mozzarella cheese on top. I was surprised by that ingredient; I guess I thought it was only us danged old yanks that smothered everything in cheese. lol Spread into a 9x13 pan and bake at 350 for about 30 min.

We also made shorba or soup. Very simple, rustic almost in its simplicity. Sorry I didn't get a photo of it; it's not really photogenic but it's oh so good! Boil the leg bone (hacked into 2 or 3 pieces) in a large stock pot of water. For the Arabic food purists out there, save the leg bones to disgust your non-Arab dinner guests by sucking the cooked, gelatinous marrow out of the center of the bone with a loud slurping noise. Lovely, really.

Throw in any array of veggies coarsely chopped. I think we used carrot, turnip, assorted squash/zucchini, garlic, onion, tomatoes, a large bunch of dill, spinach and some other things. Salt to taste, pepper and really I am drawing a blank. lol Anyway you boil it all together til soft then puree it in batches in your blender. This is yummy and healthy and makes popular iftar fare.

We also had a lamb salad for lack of a better word. Cubes of cooked lamb tossed with parsley, onion and tomato. Little olive oil thrown in for good measure never hurts! I enjoyed this as much as a non-lamb lover can which says alot!

Now..onto the star of the show, my new all-time favorite Tunisian food: salata mishwaya. Oh y hee!!! My taste buds do a little victory dance every time it appears on our table. Insha'Allah your family will enjoy it too!

Take about 5 plum tomatoes, 3 of the long green peppers (medium heat NOT jalapenos!), 5 or so small eggplants, and several cloves unpeeled garlic and roast them til black and blistered all over. Hint: after roasting place in bag or covered dish and let steam for 15 minutes; the skins will slide off! You do NOT leave the skins on as they should be nice and burnt by this point. Charring the veggies gives the whole affair a smoky sultriness that is incomparable!

Mix these all together, throw in a little salt and a good measure olive oil. Should use enough to cover the vegetable mixture completely and have some pooled up on the top. Soooo good with crusty french bread, ya'll don't KNOW how yummy this is. As a matter of fact I had some tonight. Hmmmm!

The last time A made it he used our little grill on the patio because we are having a warmish spell; however in Jan. he just turned the stove eye on "High" and roasted them inside. Really very good idea, I wouldn't have thought of in a million years. :-)

Ok so recap: salata mishwaya, lamb salad, and tagine. Don't forget the shorba! Such a yummy meal but of course I thought how divine the tagine would be with ground beef. Hey shoot me, I like my cows.

Medium well that is. :-)

Ma salaama...

Oh I was sick again

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. Just realized in my non-posting month I didn't keep everyone updated on my health issues. :-)

I was hospitalized here in Massachussets for the SAME stinking kidney infection. I have a super-resistant strain of e. coli running amok in my urinary tract. If you remember, I was hospitalized 4 times for a total of 12 days from Oct. to Dec. last year.

After I officially moved here to Mass in the beginning of Feb. BOOM! it hit again. Subhanallah. Same bacteria, same location... which is my transplanted kidney. I was kept for four days and finally allowed to come home. You know here isn't the same as back home. I don't have all my close sisters in Islam to care for Aaminah or my family.

Alhamdulillah my husband was awesome!!!! He kept Aaminah for those 4 days, fed, bathed, loved, and cherished her. He came by with the kids each day for at least 2 hours and brought me decent food. A huge alhamdulillah! ;-) Really couldn't stomach their food at UMass Memorial Hospital in nearby Worcester. Anyway I digress...

So I was sent home with a midline which is a more permanent IV that goes into a deeper vein in your arm. I was on self-administered i.v. antibiotics for 3 weeks. Just got off them last week and had the tube removed. Yay! Now I am on TWO MONTHS of a prophylactic antibiotic.

Please make du'a that I kick this bug one and for all. It can be dangerous especially to my transplanted kidney and I don't want anymore hospital time for a looong time. I am not so naieve as to say "never" just beseeching Allah for a little breather. :-)

Alright guess I'll go now. It's 10:36 pm and I am up late! I used to be such a night owl but our schedule here is different and I am usually in bed by 9:00 pm. Yeah really. :-)

Insha'allah this finds everyone in the best of health and iman and thanks for reading!

Ma salaama...

Oh Y hee!

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll!!! Wondering about the title of the post? Well my friend Sr. Lisa's daughter coined that phrase when she was about 18 mo. old masha'Allah. Lisa was changing a very nasty diaper and said (emphatically) "Oh... my... gosh." :-) A did her best to emulate her mother's complete surprise and disgust by saying "Oh Y hee". Oh so cute and heart melting. Now all of our friends use that phrase when encountering some of life's surprises. :-) Followed by an alhamdulillah!

Sooo we took a trip to TN to get my belongings. It was hilarious really but only in retrospect. 15 hour trip, 4 kids from 11 to 19 months in age. The way down wasn't too bad... at first. :-) My husband drove, I was a (semi carsick) passenger and we went at night so the kids could sleep through most of it.

We stopped at about 3 am bec A did not rest before leaving and was too tired. We stayed for about 5 hours at a Holiday Inn in VA (not sure which city lol), ate our free breakfast and headed out.

And into a snow storm. A giant snow storm by southern proportions. A whopping, run to Kroger and get bread and milk kinda snow storm. At first just a few flakes but we were traveling into the path of the storm. Soon we were driving about 35 or 40 mph on snow covered roads. Anywhere from 6 to 12 inches. Oh Y hee. I am not used to snow; I am a southern girl born and bred. An inch falls and we batten down the hatches and stay inside until all traces are gone. We admittedly do NOT know how to drive it in. It happens so infrequently why bother to learn? lol

My husband was not fazed. I was scared at a point but just made dua and recited Qur'an (under my breath :-) when I got a little frightened. We saw semi trucks overturned and passenger cars slid off the road. At time visibility was nil. Well almost I mean I couldn't see more than 2 or 3 feet in front of us. Subhanallah.

It was so beautiful but treacherous for sure. Sooo we are making ok progress despite Tue storm when we stopped for gas and food. Almost every place was closed so we went to the next exit and had a nice lunch before heading back out. The kids needed the break and it was good for us all.

As we were heading back on the interstate (to lessened snowfall and clean interstates due to diligent snow plowers and chemicals) we rounded the entrance ramp to find a snow plow had block off the ramp with a wall of packed snow about 3 feet high. I braced myself mentally and sure enough there was a horrible noise. It did not bode well for continued travel.

We had broken the front axle. Oh Y hee. :-) Alhamdulillah no one was hurt, we were grateful but also a little stressed. We were 3 hours from Knoxville, TN with (as mentioned) 4 kids and a tight timeline to move from my old apartment.

OK I realized this post is going waaay long so I am gonna give the shorter version. Oh a list! Yes I will list what happened next:

1. Geico said I did not check roadside assistance for the van. $$$ for towing.
2. Waited 45 minutes for (very busy) tow truck then 15 more for an additional vehicle to move our family. :-)
3. Dropped off at a Super 8 motel (hmm plush. NOT!). More unplanned $$$.
4. No food nearby, we eat from vending machines. Really. Chips. Yum. Alhamdulillah I had packed alot of drinks so we had those.
5. This happened on Sat. afternoon. All car rental places closed and do not reopen until Monday. ?????
6. Trapped in tiny motel room with 4 children. Oh Y hee. No really. Oh Y hee.
7. My bestest friend in the world (a HUGE jazaki allahu khul khair to her!!!) picks up a rental SUV (more $$$$$) and drives 3 hours the next day to pick us up. May Allah bless her. Amin.
8. Arrive in Knoxville a day behind schedule. Trying to finish packing and load moving truck.
9. Exhausted mentally and physically, snappish with older kids. Sorry. Kind of.
10. Running on minuscule amount of sleep.
11. Get truck loaded (thanks to some brothers in Knoxville and my sistahs, big shout out!) and head out by 3 pm on Monday. Daaaang.
12. To head out we had to have our van. Van has broken axle but being repaired 3 hours away in Hodunk, Va. Just kidding, was Wytheville. No rental places to return an out of state rental there. Stuck. Made dua'.
13. My mother, may Allah give her hidaya, amin, drives me, Aaminah and Hafsa to VA. Love you!!!!!! Other 2 kids ride with A in rental truck.
14. Reunite in Wytheville with A and we start our ride north. Woo hoo.
15. By 5 am Tues. no amount of caffeine can keep me going. I finally give in around Clinton, NJ and we get a room. I just cannot keep driving after no sleep for 24 hours.
16. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$
17. We stay for a few hours, eat breakfast, shower and hit the road.
18. I drive thru NYC. Really this is a huge feat for me but kind of anti climatic. Traffic was awesome alhamdulillah so I don't feel I really earned any badge of honor. lol
19. Arrived home at about 6pm Tuesday. ALHAMDULILLAH!!!!!!!

I am still tired. Really how pathetic. lol I now have a TON of stuff to unpack and move around and shift and... I am too tired to contemplate it. Plus doing all the normal "just moved" jazz, applying for this and that, lights, etc. Oh how fun is a move!!!!!

So now you are up to date and my fingers are cramping and I hear Aami rustling in her crib signaling end of naptime. Great timing!

Ma salaama....

I am humbled...

*This is the website where I found the photos of the Atlas Mountains in Tunis.*

As a convert, we always hear (and agree in our hearts) that we have given up so much to become Muslim. Often we lose family and friends, sometimes our livelihood, and are treated like strangers in our own country. Alhamdulillah we are happy and grateful to make that sacrifice but really inside we feel pretty proud of ourselves, looking at what we have given up for Islam.

My husband was just preparing for Jumah prayer and he said, "Alhamdulillah. Sometimes we forget the mercies of Allah." Of coures I asked what he meant specifically by that. He related the following story to me:

"When I was a young man in Tunis a group of like-minded brothers and I went around the countryside, giving dawah. Many times we had to sleep in inhospitable conditions. I remember sleeping in the mountains once in the winter and all we had to cover ourselves were plastic bags. We lay there, shivering all night long. When fajr came I was washing myself with water and by the time I finished the water around me had started to freeze. Just now, as I was taking my hot shower, I remembered that cold morning and and it reminded me how ungrateful we are for the bounties from Allah."

Subhanallah.

As my husband was telling me this I was thinking to myself, I am sure I would have just made tayyamum (ablution without water) and begged the rahma of Allah. I would not have doused myself with near-freezing water on that frigid morning. I would have never slept on the cold, hard ground and risked my freedom and life to bring the word of Allah to those who had forgotten it.

Of course he related more than that to me; look up human rights in places Tunisia, Syria and Libya and you will find stories of torture and state-sanctioned police brutality. These atrocities occur in so-called "Islamic" countries. This is the price you pay for being a practicing Muslim and daring to remind others of their responsibility to Allah.

May Allah have mercy in this life AND the next on those who suffer in His cause, who put the eternal souls of their brothers and sisters above the comforts of this world. Amin.