Hey UCB, yeah you know me!

Alhamdulillah-hir-rabbil-alameen!

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. I hope somebody understood the pop culture reference of my title: the beat of Yeah OPP, yeah you know me" popped into my head when I was thinking of a title.

Many of you may be confused as to what a "UCB" is, exactly. That's ok, apparently they are confused as well!!! ;-) UCB is the initials of a term I coined with my best friend. We've all met them before (although we might not have known it!) There is even a female counter-part to this elusive animal and they are called UCSs.

No clue? That's alright, I'll "out" them for you. UCB refers to UnderCover Brothas and obviously, UCA is for the sistahs. I'll write out a couple of scenarios to describe this phenomenon a little better.

1. You are at the mall and a man walks past. Your spidey-sense screams (silently) "There's a Muslim nearby!" (In the west, where any muslim sighting often remains rare, it is indeed a moment for spidey-sense tingles.) He could be any other man at the mall for all you know by looking at him. So what makes him a UCB?

Well the fact that every week you've seen said bro sportin' a thobe/kameez/(insert your cultural dress here) and kufi combo and salaaming left, right and center. Masha'Allah to the brother for his dedication to show up at the masjid and sticking to his roots.

However, when you in your happiness to see another muslim, throw a sisterly "A'salaamu alaikum" his way, he walks past as if it never happened. At quite a faster clip than before, btw.

Say whaaaaaaa? :-D OK onto scenario #2.

2. A very nice woman steps onto the elevator. She has the Muslim ethnic look but you can't tell by that. No hijab but most telling, no salaam. Hmm ok no problem. After riding 3 floors in silence, she looks at you (in khimar and abaya) and asks, "Are you Muslim?". Hmmmm no I just like to dress fancy. :-)) I nod my assent and smile.

So masha'Allah sister says, "Oh I'm Muslim too". No salaam, just that quick mention. You say, "Oh masha'Allah". The doors open and another person gets on. Sister quickly looks away and conversation ends.

You travel 3 more floors together.

Awkward. lol

BTW, the spelling of "awkward" is awkward. Nice when words showcase themselves.

 Alrighty... onto #3.

3. You've been seeing a particular physician for a year and a half. During this time, you always appear in front of him covered and several "insha'Allah" or "alhamdulillahs" have probably slid through your lips. He is from the sub-continent, you know that much from the one time you tried to talk to him about something other than white blood cell counts and allograft survival.

BTW, despite wearing clothing that is very identifiable as that which Muslims wear and speaking of your family (all of whom have Muslim names) never a word is breath about being a "muslim". :-) OK no problem, your physicians don't have to be Muslim.

Then...after a year and a half, you come down the stairs from Jumah and see him. Yes, your Dr. Standing there after salaat, chatting away with several other brothers, waiting for his wife to finish her sunnah prayers.

He turns around, sees you, and looks visibly surprised. It's like, "Hey buddy, I've never hid I'm a Muslim, don't look so surprised to see ME here". LOL

You give him salaams which he returns and you go on your way.

OK I guess by the time I got to that last scenario you probably had figured out all of those things happened to me. Those and many, many more. :-) I think one of my personal "say what"s is the very nice doctor who treated me in the ER.

She had a typical Arab name and was absolutely gorgeous. Long dark blond hair, flawless make-up, penciled in eyebrows... no hijab, a low-cut shirt. Hmmm OK so I think to myself, wellll her name is an Arab name but maybe her family is Christian or something. So I say nothing except hello.

After about 5 minutes she says, "Are you Muslim?" I swear I get this more from Muslims than non-Muslims!!! Which already confuses me but whatever. I answer in the affirmative and she says, "Oh I am too but I don't practice".

I never know WHAT to say. This has happened to me more than once. What do you say?

"Oh well, I do". lol

or

"I'm sorry".

or

"Why not?"

or

"Then what exactly makes you Muslim?"

Sorry if ya'll find that judgemental but that's just the truth about what runs through my head. It's awkward :-) and I just end up standing there and saying "Oh."

This obviously isn't based on scientific research;-). I'm just stating my observations, based on REAL LIFE events.

Like the cockroach said, "whatevs". LOL

It's a crazy world, ya'll.

Just some weird, random things...

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. I felt like it was time for a more light-hearted post. :-) All work and no play makes Umm Aaminah a dull girl.

I realized today I have a "thing" about sinks and it got me to thinking about what other weird (or not so weird!) hang-ups I have. Depending on how genteel you are, this post might not be up your alley. Fair warning and all. :-D

Let's jump in, shall we?

Clean it! Clean it! For the love of Pete, just clean it!!!!

1. I realized the other day that sinks (kitchen and bathroom) gross me out. Maybe it's because of the little cracks and crevices that get so dirty. It doesn't matter if you clean it daily, there is always some gunk there. Totally disgusts me. Aaminah will share this phobia of sinks because I always tell her, "Don't let your hands (or feet) touch the bottom of the sink!".  I clean them, I just think they are gross.

2. Another thing that grosses me out is when someone gets water to drink/use for cooking from the sprayer. I saw a friend do that once and I was like, whaaaaat? Once again, I clean it but it just seems so suspicious; it stays damp/moist and is in the kitchen which tends to be warm. Ewwwwwwww...

If this is in your home, I cannot be there. :-)

3. Fake berry smells (like airfresheners, etc) give me a headache. I only like light, clean, citrus-y scents.

4. I think this is universal but... Aaminah's tears/snot/poop/pee doesn't phase me. At. All. But anyone else's is quite possibly the nastiest thing I can imagine and I don't want near it. lol

5. If I get one bite of meat with a gristly/chew-y piece, stick a fork in me, I'm done.

Example of an indented couch button. :-)

6. Once, when I was about 5, I was entranced by the way the leather of our couch puckered around the button. You know, it kinda makes an indentation around it with gathers? Anyway, I put my mouth on it and sucked. Oh.my.goodness. Bits of dust, crumbs and other "couch debris" swooshed into my mouth. One of my grossest memories.

I used to have a basset hound; the sweetest lil thing!

7. I love the smell of puppy breath and the way their paws smell like corn chips. Shameful, but true. :-) I only included this in the list because it's probably gross to some of you!

8. I absolutely abhor seeing a man with long fingernails. It just makes me get the shivers and NOT the good kind.
9. Before my transplant, I used to get sick to my stomach a lot. If I was someplace with older plumbing and a toilet with some of the enamel worn off I couldn't use it. I would go outside instead.
10. "Grody" grout is what really gets me nauseated. You know, when the grout gets all stained from mildew and is half-peeling off?   If you don't know the definition of the word grody you were not a teenager in the 80s and I can't help you. :-D

I have to stop cause I'm making my skin crawl. What things like this make you unhappy?

Don't ya'll hate...

it when a blogger writes a teaser title like "Don't ya'll hate" then only has a one or two sentence blog post?

I do; I feel cheated. :-)) Just sayin'...

Ma salaama....

I gots da' bumpity bump, camel hump!

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. It would appear that I am going for that all-out, over-the-top hijab fashion/trend known as al-gambooa3a, the camel hump, 60's beehive hairdo under a scarf, look. HOWEVER it's not quiet that simple.

You see, I got a perm. A curly perm, to clarify. My eldest son asked, with a look of barely concealed horror, "You mean a straight perm or a curly perm?". Seems even 17 yr olds with no real knowledge of the 80s knows what the end result of a curly permanent can be.

Yes Virgina, I did get a permanent. And you know what? I like it. I really like it. Being a southerner (and growing up in the 80s) I do have an affinity for big hair. Bring on the Final Net and hair dryer, our hair is getting some wings! One of my friends used so much hairspray your feet would literally stick to the floor. One girl in high school (her name was Kara, really sweet shy girl) had what was enviably known as the "tallest hair in the 9th grade". We all loved her hair.

So it would seem I've brought back a version of the big hair. I don 't wear it high on the top but when I pull my hair back under my hijab it still makes a verrrry noticeable hump. I've never worn a hair flower (used to give the illusion of height under my hijab) because I do feel it isn't correct. I am NOT starting a debate, I don't judge those who do it, I just feel it's not correct.

But I do like the look my new 'do gives me. Hey, its just my hair, I can appreciate it! Anyway I would love to post some pics of my hair done up in the funky rollers (it took 2 girls 3 hours just to roll it!!!) but I still think that borders on haram/showing off what isn't apparent so I'll have to take an indefinite raincheck. ;-)

Alrighty insha'allah I'll get my vacay pics uploaded soon. I wanna show off my handsome sons!!!! We are having a cookout tonight (it's already chilly here in Mass especially at night) but a girl's gotta eat her halal burgers.

Ma salaama ya'll!

It'll all happen insha'allah

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. Just wanted ya'll to know I really enjoy putting down my random thoughts and I liked that graphic. :-) Soooo... Aaminah will be going to childcare for 3 days a week. I am a little leery about her going but allahu alim. It's a really nice center, great recommendations, the staff has been really nice everytime I've called/stopped by. I don't really feel ready but she does. She keeps harassing asking me, "When I go to school?". It's really cute; she wants to be like the bigger kids and go to school masha'Allah. Now if only Mama was as excited. :-)

I had an epiphany of sorts today. Actually, I'm pretty sure I've had that same epiphany before, which makes it a bit less "epiphany-ish" but I like that word and it's been so long since I had this thought, I think it still qualifies! lol

Anyway, Aaminah fell asleep today while I was coming home from some errands. I decided to forgo all the long walk to the other end of the parking garage, the wait for the elevator, the ride, and then basically walking back the same distance to our end of the building. Instead I opted for the 2 flights of stairs and significantly less walking.

Wow. That's all I can say. W O W. It was crazy how heavy she was. She is 30 lbs. Hmmm, 30 lbs. My how she's grown. My baby. Ya Allah she's heavy, how can I make it to the top???

During this inner monologue, I realized (epiphany time!) that I am about 2.5 Aaminahs overweight. :-) That's insane. It was soooo hard climbing the steps with her (yes in my arms, not distributed more or less over my body) but still. It got me a'thinkin'. How light would I feel if I dropped even a few pounds? Let's be conservative and say 20. Alright, 20 lbs. No one ever died (theoretically) from cutting back/moving more to the tune of losing the equivalent of 4 gallons of milk. Hmmm....

So I am gonna (here comes the "public commitment" part) reallllly try to drop 20. Not, "drop and give me 20" but lose 20 lbs. Well I've gone and done it now I guess (that's a southern-ism by the way!). It's out here for all the www to see, or at least the 37 people who follow my blog. lol

Next question, should I set a timeline for myself? Probably so. I think if I say that by Nov. 12 (that's my 38 birthday-not that we celebrate, just a matter of fact) that would be a good amount. Maybe even give me the time to beat the deadline and feel like a real winner.  Of course my (secret) plan is to keep doing 20 at a time, if I find this successful.

Note: This will never be a weight loss blog but if I do manage (insha'Allah) to reach my goal or even continue to strive, I'll be posting it here. Just no "before and after" in  revealing clothes. I'll do a before and after in my knee length khimar. LOL That'll get me on a Jenny Craig/WW/Slimfast commercial for sure! :-)

Okey dokey, alrighty tighty... one more thing to update on. I don't think I'll be doing any more "interfaith dialogue" here again. I just don't like it. It's my blog, I defended my religion and fellow Muslims right to build a masjid and to worship how and where we choose. I don't feel the need to validate my religion or "prove" anything. The fact the world exists and I am here and there is any goodness in this world is testament that Allah swt is the supreme Creator. The fact I am a Muslim is a testament to the mercy of Allah.

In my previous blog, I only tried to show (exactly the same way LFOG did) that my religion's holy book doesn't condone unmerited violence and that there is indeed violence perpetuated in his/her holy book the Bible. I received many more comments from LFOG but decided against posting them bec: a) it's my blog :-P b) I don't like debating c) I had my say and that's that. I allowed them to post their opinion once and then I defended my stance.

There is nothing to be gained by continous back-and-forth. I have my beliefs, they have theirs and alhamdulillah for it all. I do not hate Christians; almost all of my family identify as such. I don't hate the Jewish people; I don't hate Hindus, or Buddhists or any of the million and one ways people try to make sense of their life.

I do however believe that Islam is the straight path and I do believe there is only ONE God and He is supreme and infallible and has never been on this earth in the form of someone who, like myself or the basest criminal, has the pains of hunger or the need to defecate, who feels annoyance or desires the feel of human skin against His own, astaghfirallah.

Alright, I am pretty sure that clears up my stance; if anyone is thick enough to not understand, feel free to ask for a clarification. :-)

Ma salaama ya'll!!!!!!!

Just wanna say....

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. OK this is my second post of the day; just wanted to say "You rock!" to my followers, new and old. I love getting your comments and really feel my friendship circling is expanding. I would say my "list of places I can visit and stay for free" circle but pretty sure that alienate some of ya'll. :-D Just teasing...

Anyway thanks for reading and please don't be shy with the comments. I love to know what's on your mind... unless your mind is a dark scary place. :-)

Ma salaama....

Interesting interfaith dialogue goin' on

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. Just a heads up that there's a little interfaith sharing going on in the comments section on the "Moderate Muslim?" post and the "Really? I mean really?" post. Please feel free to check them out and comment if you like. For or against just remember to play by the rules: no insults, name-calling, denigrating the Prophet Muhammad (saws) or any of the other prophets and messengers of Allah, and remember, sticks and stone may break your bones but words can never hurt you! :-D

Delicious...not! :-)

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. So yeah this isn't really an earth-shattering post but I just don't want anyone else to make the same breakfast mistake I did.

Aaminah is really limited as to what "typical" breakfast foods she can eat because of her egg allergy. So hashbrowns or fried potatoes are one of her favorite foods. I call them baby frenchfries btw to get her excited. lol

So what happened? I got lazy. I thought I could shave a few minutes off prep time by using the fresh "Simply Potatoes" brand pre-cut/shredded potatoes in the egg aisle.

Yeah. Bad idea. I ended up throwing an entire bag away. I had bought two in my zealousness to avoid a little work in the am. Really these taste like preservatives. Which come on, who was I kidding? Fresh potatoes, peeled, and NOT turning black? They gotta be SOAKED in them.

Anyway moral of this story is, please don't buy them if you like to actually taste potato and not chemicals. :-)

Ma salaama!

The sweetest thing EVER

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. Aaminah is getting to that age where she just says such cute things. Here is a conversation from the other day (for those who facebook me, it's de ja vu).

Me: Do you want to live in Tennessee?
Aami: No!

Me: Do you want to live in Massachusetts?
Aami: No!

Me: Where do you want to live?
Aami: I live with mama.

Masha'Allah!!!! She melts my heart wallah.

OK some more funny things:

Conversation with Hafsa (my oldest stepdaughter)

Hafsa: Is it haram to do that clicking things with glasses? (She motions with her hands like touching two drinking glass rims.)
Me: Oh you mean making a toast?

Hafsa: Yeah you know, when you say, "To Harry".
Me: What? To Harry? You mean, "to us"?

Hafsa: Yeah, to us.
Me: Where did Harry come from??? LOL

Another conversation with Hafsa, this one is unbelievable!

Hafsa: What was happening in America when the Prophet Muhammad (saws) was alive?
Me: (Thinking, oooh teachable moment initiated by kid!) Well Hafsa, what year would that have been?

Hafsa: Um...about 1920?
Me: ( Unable to speak for a moment.) Hafsa, Rasoolallah lived over 1400 years ago. That would be around 600 A.D.

Hafsa: Oh. (Silent for a minute.) So this was when the gladiators were fighting here?
Me: Hafsa, there were no gladiators here. That was in Rome.

Hafsa: But Rome is in America.
Me: No Rome isn't in America. Where is it?

Hafsa: Oh it's in Asia!

At this point I just kinda gave up. lol There was really no where for me to go with that one!

Okey dokey just a little light-hearted humor for ya'll!

The hardest step...

*This is our original "Little Buddy" Nova. I wanna cry!*

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. As you know, when you convert to Islam there are alot of changes. Everything from how you dress to what you eat, even how you order your day. Islam, as we say, is a way of life not just a religion.

I am the kinda person that tackles things head-on. I wore hijab from the get-go. No not for modesty reasons (at first) but because I did my homework before I said my shahada and I believed it to be the command of Allah. Pork hasn't passed my lips again and to be honest, I don't miss it. I had many male friends that I literally dropped overnight with a "Dear _____" email or call. I told them I had converted to Islam and it wasn't permissible. For me it was best to do it all at once and practice as completely as I could so I had no other distractions to keep me from my growth as a Muslim.

Except Nova. We all know dogs are prohibited to keep as pets. I knew this before I became Muslim. But I truly believed in my heart that I was responsible for him and I had promised my youngest son, Alex, that I would never get rid of him. He was my contant companion. For many years, while I was single (pre and post conversion) he was the only living being to care if I came home at night. He was my little buddy and my friend and to be honest I was more attached to him than I should have been. Hey at least I never dressed him up in clothes!!!:-)

He was a great dog, though. Smart, with a capital S. He had alot of toys and knew them all by name. Lamby was his oldest (and most loved) and he could find any if you said, "Nova, go get ____". He could find the boys or another person. He had a large vocabulary of words he knew and if you started to say "bath" he would run and hide. He was immaculately house-trained and only if under great duress would use the bathroom in the house. He was so ashamed afterwards but honestly this only happened a handful of times in 7 years.

Once when Alex was only 5 or so Nova helped save his life. I had a bell on the front door because Alex was a sleep walker and I worried he would escape. I always locked the top lock and the bottom and slept soo lightly when the boys were with me. This night I heard nothing but woke suddenly because I felt eyes on me. Nova's little black brown eyes. He was sitting at attention and uttering little whines in his throat. He was agitated. I got up and did a quick perusal and found Alex wasn't in his bed.

I didn't panic at first. I looked in the bathroom, the kitchen, beside my bed. He was nowhere to be found. I started to panic. I wake up the house and everyone is looking for him. I go outside and look and call and can't find him. I go back inside and looking again when I hear a knock at the door. I open it to find my baby there, in his night clothes. He is still partially asleep and he's crying. "Mama, why did you put me outside?" Subhanallah. I wouldn't have known he was outside if Nova hadn't of alerted me. Maybe when I went out my voice carried to him and it woke him from his daze enough to come back to the door. Allahu alim.

Let's see some cat do that. :-)

Fast forward many years. I knew I needed to find him a new home but I just couldn't. It wasn't until after Aaminah was born and I got really worried about the malika not coming in the house and I hated his shedding. Oh yes that was Nova's vice. His thick undercoat shed like nobody's business! Before Aaminah was born I would groom him fairly regularly but after she came, it was so difficult. I couldn't leave her inside alone and if I took her out his fur would blow on her. Anyway I wasn't able to care for him as I had before.

So the fateful day came when I put out ads looking for another home. Eventually someone responded and they had a house, a yard, another well-behaved dog, and a small horse farm. The dogs had the opportunity to be outside but weren't forced and when we met them at the park I could tell they really liked him.

I cried on the way home. I still miss him and I pray that he doesn't remember us anymore. I know people says dogs have short memories but he would remember people he hadn't seen in two years so that isn't always accurate. Anyway I just want him to be happy and well cared for.

The phone I had the new family's number in died a horrible death. :) So I guess it's for the best. Otherwise I'd still be randomly calling them up until one day they changed their phone number. :-)

I love my little buddy and I always will and you can laugh at me if you want. What? We can have cats you say? Yep I have one now bec A and his children already had him. I'm not really a cat person but alhamdulillah. :-) I have my memories of Nova.

Ma salaama...

To my lost love

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. This is a poignant post, about loves lost, hearts broken, desires unfulfilled.

OK maybe that a wee bit dramatic. I'm talking about a great cheeseburger! :-) You know the kind that's tender and char-grilled and so delicious you drool just thinking of it? For me mayo and sweet onions are requisite, all else can be haggled over or even left off.

I looooove cheeseburgers and I no longer get to indulge. Why, UofA, why you may ask. No it's not my fluid waistline or a problem with my cholesterol, it's the halal beef. Why can't it taste as lovely as a nice package of Angus 85/20 from Krogers always did? Why can't it have that lovely juicy, beefy taste? And what happened to the texture, the melt-in-you-mouth tenderness I need?

Ah the halal burger just isn't the same. To me, no halal beef is. I eat it, and some cuts prepared some ways I can accept. But ground beef just isn't one of them. Growing up, ground beef was a staple at our table. It was not so expensive so it found its way onto our plates at least 3 times a week. Now my life is all beige and white, with various poultry and fish products filling the void.

Pork? I don't miss you! You are nasty and greasy and the smell of you cooking does now truly turn my stomach. Hijab-free days, with the wind in my hair, you are missed but I do not yearn for you anymore. The guiltfree pleasure of music blaring on my car stereo while the windows are down and the sun warms my skin... you too have been replaced and barely missed.

But beef, oh beef, you shall not soon be forgotten.

Okey dokey, just realized unless some of my readers obsess about love food like I do, you might think this is a little strange. lol I'm prepared to deal with the backlash.

Cheeseurger, I'll see YOU in Jannah insha'allah!!!!!!!!

Nuthin' much

*We call this picture "bulldog baby". lol This is Aaminah before she was a year old masha'Allah. Sr. D put her tights on her head and snapped this photo. Too cute for words!*

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll! Sorry it's been soooo long since I updated. Here's why:

1. Me mom came to visit. She stayed a week alhamdulillah. As my sister says, nice when they come and nice when they go. lol Just kidding mom; thanks for coming and I am so glad you and Aaminah got to bond!

2. My laptop is breaking. :-( The kids have tripped over the power cord so many times it's bit the dust. I have to bend it at just a certain angle and either wedge it against the edge of the laptop desk or tuck it underneath. Anyway it can fritz out at a moment's notice and I fear writing a great entry and losing it to a power blip.

3. Kids are out for summer break. 'Nough said.

Anyway here I am, writing to ya'll now. I have Zainab on one shoulder, Hafsa on the other and little Aaminah is playing Mama to her doll, Habiba. (Yes, she named it herself!). She just sat her on her potty chair masha'Allah. :-) The boys (A and Yousef) went to the masjid so all is pretty quiet here now. I knew I was overdue for a post and didn't wanna disappoint.

I've been reading my sisters' blogs recently and I am hearing a common theme among some revert sisters: I'm not good enough, I don't do x, y, and z consistently, my iman is low. We all go through these phases but the important thing is we are striving. All of us, convert and born Muslim alike, we have our highs and lows, our ups and downs. Don't feel bad about yourselves, seek support from your sisters and above all, pray to Allah swt to restore to you what you have lost. Ameen.

Wow I feel kinda boring right now. I don't even have alot of random things to say. 2 of the girls have been sick, I've had some more health issues and well my creative juices aren't really flowing. Insha'Allah I'll think of something really awesome to blog about soon. Insha'Allah. :-)

Ma salaama!

Aw, nuts!

"Aw nuts" is the signature phrase of the main character Jake Green (played by Skeet Ulrich). It spawned a deluge of packing peanuts sent to the CBS main offices to protest the closure of the show.

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. Anybody remember that show "Jericho"? It was a short-lived drama on CBS in 2007 about a terrorist attack on the US. But wait...not MUSLIM terrorists. The home-grown variety; think the Hutarees multiplied by, well, lots. :-)

I loved that show. Alright nothing else to say.

Ma salaama...