Health update and miscellany

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. Wow a lot has happened, good and bad. Let's get the bad out of the way. I have very bad veins from years of over-use and prednisone therapy which really weakens them. End result, I have 2 ivs in my arms, about 10 places where my veins blew and I know have lovely deep dark blue bruises, and I've ran out of access sites. I also have a cath placed in my groin, a long flexible tube with which to do my plasmapharesis treatments. Like dialysis treatment but it spins out my plasma to remove the offending antibodies. On the off days I take an IV immunoglobulin treatment to irritate those bad antibodies so they will swell and more easily be removed insha'allah by the treatment on the following day.

I'll be here til Tuesday more than like, that's a week and some change. I really miss Aaminah. I keep waking up thinking the alarm going off will bother her but of course she isn't here sleeping with me. :-( I have wonderful friends masha'Allah who are keeping her (the sister I stayed with for so long) may Allah swt bless her and her family, amin!

I'm on a massive dose of steroids which has so many bad side-effects but insha'Allah will really kick the cellular rejection in the butt so it's worth it. I am considering however putting off my wedding. The side-effects from steroids are very unpleasant. Facial, neck and trunchal swelling (oh joy!) as well as red face and over heating. Increased body hair growth and acne can occur as well. I just don't want to feel ugly and self-concious when I meet Cap'n. I think this is a natural feeling. It's not that I don't think he can handle it, it's just my vanity speaking. So I am unsure at this point if we will marry in March or not. I just want to look the best I can look; trust me, I'm not asking for much here!!! lol

I also have started diabetes treatment with insulin injections. Eek! Alhamdulillah the docs said it's a common reaction to the crazy high doses of steroids so it should calm down within a short time. I was preparing myself for actually having diabetes so file this under "good news".

It was also a wake up call, sisters. Type II diabetes is totally preventable. Lose weight, exercise, eat better. Nothing weird or strenuous involved. Walk, be active, limit your sugar and carbs but not like a strict diet, just healthier eating. Since I've started working my diet has went downhill. We eat lunch out almost every day. Now a co-worker and I share our meals. We are food twins (well she eats pork at her home of course) but otherwise we both love the same things. So we can get a meal for one and share it so at least the unhealthiness of the whole affair is somewhat diluted.

Also when I get ill (with kidney failure) I lose most of my appetite. Food is no longer so appealing and even if it is, I can only eat a few bites and I'm full. To be honest I think that is a good thing as well, no complaints here except for the reason. :-) Now let's factor in the hospital food. Oh mama! Actually a few things have been tasty and they've added turkey bacon for the first time ever so I do get one little thin slice at breakfast. Gives a bit of taste to my reduced sodium fare. :-)

Wow this post is all over the place. I'm on a steroid high right now so forgive. Alright prognosis: still unsure. We are hoping to stop this rejection and possibly reclaim some lost ground. Just not sure if that can happen, will know more next week. I am trying to stay positive sisters and make lots of dua. I firmly believe this has been, overall, a positive thing for me.

It is giving me a new appreication for my transplant and life in general. Reminded me how tenuous our health can be, a lesson I should have well-learned by now. :-) It has brought me closer to Allah in that I know my life and death is in His hands and has been a wonderful way to bring me back to the power and serenity of beseeching the One for all my needs. We get so caught up in "look what I'm doing" we over look that we can do NOTHING without Allah. So anytime I have hardship I sincerely try to look for the lesson in it. Here is what I've came away with (list time):

1. As I said, a renewed appreciation for my health.
2. Feeling stronger Islamically and a definite strengthening in my iman.
3. I truly believe in Allah's promise after hardship there is ease. Some times it's easier to cling to than at other times, as we are human, but this episode has really shown me this.
4. I am sooo blessed by my friends and family. I've had visitors and phone calls and prayers. I have 8 flower arrangements and candy (eek! lol) and balloons. Cards and well-wishes. It just makes me want to cry when I realize how loved I am!
5. It's given me a much-needed reset from work and given me time to blog to you guys. OK so the last one, I'm really not grateful for, but I am grateful to be able to fill some of my idle hours by updating you guys. :-) But it's not worth being sick for! LOL
6. It has made me much more concious of the fact that I can wail and moan about my situation but if I'm not gonna be pro-active then I am the problem. So yeah, I have kidney disease. Yeah, I have blah blah blah. But I can be healthier, more active, and lose a bit of weight. I can do things to make it easier on my transplant to work well for a long time.

Please make dua that Allah swt strengthens me in my desires to make positive changes. that I am more mindful of my body and it's rights over me, that I find a better balance between my obligations so I feel I am being a full person not just an automatron, work work work work work. :-) Grateful for the job but definitely the stress of how much I've worked, coupled with my own inability to prioritize, helped set this stage for where I am now. Sick, in the hospital, away from my daughter, my job, my home.

Thank you all for your prayers, thank you for reading, and thank you for being my sisters (and brothers) in Islam. Allah does not burden a body with more than it can take and I am grateful past words that He has found me up to the challenges He has set for me.

My flower, baloon, and card corner. I did have the flowers over my a/c vent til I realized I was having an allergic reaction to the pollen I was shooting out all over my room! lol Allergy resolved. :-)



Eye candy! I had bought this bag last year but A didn't like it, too blingy. I gave it to my mom but she's pretty plain jane. She gave it back, cue happy day!

This is the bling-y keychain. Cute yes? I love this bag and Cap'n doesn't have an aversion to me carrying it so it's all good. :-) I joke I'm like a mullet (bizness up front but party in the back!) I'm all bizness up top (abaya) but my accessories bring the party (cute shoes and bags). I like being a woman. :-)

Ma salaama ya'll!

ResMed S9, my new love!

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. So I think I am done with my enforced hiatus.:-) Really it's one of those things where they longer you go without it, the less you miss it. I write because I want to or I have something I think might benefit others, not because I have a quote to fill. I've been through quite a few changes alhamdulillah and now I am getting to a place where I can just "be" again.

Still waiting on the apartment, mid-Dec. the lady said. Oh please hurry and come!!! I hate to wish my life away but it's difficult being so unsettled. Insha'allah soon that will be rectified. I try to keep everything in perspective.

I've also been thinking if I should change the tone of my blog. Not the overall flavor; I mean after all it's just a mish-mash of what's in my mind at the moment. But rather the amount of information I share. I did think about it but decided I am totally comfortable with the things I share about my life. I do try to give some anonymity to others whose paths cross mine but at the end of the day this is my little place to be me. So I'm gonna do just that.

It's 1 am and what's on my mind? Sleep! Sleep! It's become a precious commodity lately, if you couldn't tell. (Um because I am up so late.) I don't know what my problem is but it's just been hard for me to go to bed earlier. Than I kinda pass the window of opportunity and I sit here, awake. Good for the blog, bad for the me. :-)

Oh btw dinner kinda by-passed me tonight (Yeah don't really know what happned but a big cup of hot chocolate with real whipped cream was involved!) So I sit here now, eating from a bag of Great Value (Wal-Mart brand) Harvest Vegetable baked crisp snacks. Wow, that's a mouthful. The name, not referrring to any lack of manners on my part. Hmm they are pretty good just wish I had a diet coke in my room. Ahh well, have to have something to get up for tomorrow, right?

Ah yes, sleep, sorry I even confused myself with the crisp snack tangent. I just got a new sleep machine (CPAP or continuous positive air pressure) and a new fancy-shmancy nasal pillow mask. I was diagnosed with sleep apnea about 8 years ago, shortly after my transplant. I hadn't used a machine in years, though, since pre-Aaminah so I was re-tested recently.

Not hijab friendly. LOL You are covered head to toe almost literally in little electrodes and wires. It is actually very restrictive and I had a really hard time falling asleep. Nice. :-) Anyway turns out I stop breathing 60 times an hour or roughly once a minute. I am never falling into the deep, REM sleep that refreshes us and allows us to heal and regenerate.

When I use my machine, all is right with the world. I am able to actually sleep and be more energetic and productive. Really it's like someone telling you they have a little magic pill to make you more energized. I love it.

What I didn't love, however was the face mask. O-Y-Hee. It was super-unattractive. Link Soviet Bloc meets Snuffle-ufagus (the crazy elephant-mammoth thingy from Sesame Street). Oh my bad. It's a SnuffleUPagus, not UFagus as I have thought for years. LOL Anyway compare:

Mr. SnuffleUPagus

My nasal mask. See the resemblance??? lol

Anyway so I really disliked the whole "I gotta a trunk sprouted from my face look." Enter the Breath-o-matic Wonder 3000. OK it's really just called the ResMed Swift FX for Her nasal pillow mask. Ah lookit, so cute and little! And... strap covers in piiiiink. lol So yeah it is much more feminine and thusly more pleasing to me. Check it out:

What a nice, unencumbered silhouette!

Now I just have to get used to it. :-) Insha'Allah that won't be too hard. Oh while we are doing show and tell here is my super-high tech CPAP machine. It has all kinds of fancy features such as humidity adjustment (Alhamdulillah there is a humidifier!) and a remote wireless transmitter to send my readings. Automatically. Yay! Anyway here it is:

Is so fancy yeah? And quiet masha'allah :-) I love how you help me sleep little machine!

Now that I have sung the praises of my gear, I have to poke a little fun. Apparently they now carry SKINS for these babies. So they blend into the interior and aren't so ugly and obtrusive. Personally I think it's because the company thought of another way to make money; who knows? lol Here are a few options:

For when you feel the need to channel Melissa from "The Real Housewives of New Jersey"

When singing the national anthem just isn't enough

Whoda thunk it, Bubba likes his musheen to be perty too! :-))

OK so a little poke at American capitalism and our need to feel validated and special and unique. Not to mention the mindless consumerism that runs rampamt here.

Ohhh wait, is that Hello Kitty I see?? ?LOL  Alright falling asleep now, ma salaama ya'll!

30 days of iftars: #3

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. Last night we had iftar at the masjid; no cooking for mama! We had a spicy veggie beef stew of sorts with some really nice jeera rice and super thin pita bread with salad. After we came home the kiddies had some hot fries (you know those nasty fried spicy potato sticks? Yeah those.) and a couple of cookies plus milk to cut the burn of the spicy chip sticks.

For suhoor this morning the kids had a mixture of granola cereal with nuts and dates with milk and a cheese stick. Plus lots of water! A, who is not eating loads of carbs, opted for leftover roast chicken, cucumbers and plain yogurt. He is a very healthy eater, masha'Allah and has dropped, can you believe, 30 lbs????

Yes that's right. He's been watching his eating habits for a little over 2 months and lost 30 lbs. Whatev. LOL Just kidding I am very proud of him but geeze, for men it seems weight loss is a breeze! They say, oh I think I'll lose weight and poof! it's gone. I guess there might be some advantages to being a man. lol

Anyway he did it by totally cutting out all bread, rice, pasta, really any carbs from grains. I am hoping he'll be ready to reintroduce some but he is so happy with his weight loss plus he discovered he had been, at least, gluten intolerant. He had some very severe intestinal issues for the past 15 years but you know men, sometimes they just ignore these things. Once he cut out all wheat his issues totally resolved themselves. Totally.

It was amazing really; he feels so good now he doesn't even miss the bread anymore! Really that was his downfall; bread is his favorite food. The few times he tried to reintroduce bread, even a small portion, he was in pain again for a few days. Nice to be able to pinpoint the source of his discomfort.

Anyway he does eat some carbs now; he'll eat a small portion of, say, rice, maybe half a cup. But the builk of his diet is lean protein (chicken, tuna, low-fat cheese, eggs) with lots of low-carb veggies. Cucumbers, celery, green beans, broccoli, cauliflower, spinach, romaine lettuce, onions, mushrooms.. really he has a bit selection to choose from, all healthy and low-carb. He gets some carbs in the form of dairy, mainly yogurt and the cheese, but still pretty low in general. He consumes well under 50 grams per day while the typical person's diet is composed of at least 150 grams daily, many with carb addiction topping 300!!!

I know this was supposed to be a post about iftars but since I didn't cook I thought I would go ahead and share his success. I am tempted to do it also; I would love to get some of this weight off plus who wants to outclass their husband? lol He is under the 200 mark for the first time in years whilst I, dearest readers, am still hanging out comfortably above that level. :-( lol

Insha'Allah this finds you all in the best of health and iman; please share your iftar/suhoor ideas! Love you all fi sabilillah!!!!