My newest love

This isn't me; it is Sr. Badra's stock photo from the listing. :)

Salaam ya'll! No, I'm not talking about Cap'n (who is not so new anymore!) or little kitty or a new baby (good lord NO! lol). I am talking about the new khimar I purchased from Badra Boutique. Ohhh mA, I love this khimar!

It's actually called a pak chador so it is the kind that you can opt to wear as niqab or down under your chin. It has a tie-back headband (the penultimate in comfort!) but the front is open. You pull one side either across your face or under your chin, then secure it with a hijab pin. I intend to sew it at some point I just haven't yet.

The one I bought it kind of a turquoise blue; shocking, I know. :) I am the girl who branched out into olive green. lol. It's not that I'm opposed to color I just always find black and it looks good on round faces. I like black but I also like having a little color sometimes too.

I also love this style (and my regular poly tie-back khimars) because they are uber-modest and definitely cover the entire chest area. This is a big deal to me and one of the reasons I am pretty picky about my hijabs. Oh and I can't do the whole "feeling like my jaw has been wired shut" thing with the wrapped hijabs. I can't open my mouth! So as ya'll have known for a while, tie-back khimars are where it's at for me.

Unfortunately the company I've always bought from (www.hijabgirl.com) no longer gets new stock in. I think they are sourced from Syria which would explain the inability to restock. However, it was really a hardship for me as I needed a new khimar and stat!

I am really glad I took the chance on Sr. Badra's pak chador. It is made from a very soft, stretchy jersey material which is comfy. I am not positive I love the fabric though; I went to a family reunion today and was really worried about Aaminah's greasy fingers touching my hijab; it will leave a grease spot, where the polyester ones of course do not. It also doesn't hold the peak as well as the fabric is so soft but overall I really really like it and it's great because it fits any size face as you adjust it yourself.

Look her up on facebook under Badra Boutique or on www.etsy.com. I think the name is the same. I do NOT get paid to endorse products nor do I receive free products; I paid $25 for my khimar with shipping! lol I just like to pass on things I've found that I love. :)

Ma salaama ya'll!

Dua, please

My empty (unmade, ha!) bed or alternate title, where I should be parking my happy behind right now instead of behind my laptop. :-) Yeah, that. Praise Allah for private rooms!!!

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. So I'll be here until at least the end of next week (Friday) and quite possibly longer. 2 weeks in the hospital, 2 weeks away from Aaminah, my home, my job, my life. Alhamdulillah. My kidney is just not responding to the treatment (at all) and the doctors are hoping the 2 extra treatments of IV immunoglobulin and plasmapharesis will be effective. Ya Allah, amin!

Cap'n already had a visitor visa interview on Monday to come over and meet 'n greet my family and for us to meet in person. Especially now, me travelling for us to get married there is just not gonna happen. At least not for a while (if at all) and this is a huge strain on both of us. So we had already set up an interview for Monday. I had my doctor write a note which has been faxed, explaining the gravity of my health situation. "Stable but in very serious condition". I am sick, khalas, so I can at least hope to get a small benefit from it. If they approve his visitor visa application so he can come see his extremely sick fiancee, it will jump start this whole process.

As you probably know, until you meet in person, face to face, you cannot begin any immigration proceedings. Well we speak daily on the phone, text, email but we haven't met face-to-face. We intended to in January but his visitor visa was denied. :-( Alhamdulillah. So we made plans for me to travel to see him in February (put off bec of my job alhamdulillah which enables me to travel!) and then circumstances pushed it to March. OK now it's March and we had planned on his visitor visa interview and if denied, I would just immediately book a flight and go, get married, start our processing, and take it from there.

Can't happen now. I sincerely hope the interviewer at the consulate is cognizant of the fact I cannot travel and he has to come here in order for us to meet. Otherwise, especially if my kidney does not improve, I cannot travel. I'll be on dialysis or at least too ill to be away from standardized, affordable medical care.

So much is riding on him getting to come here. Such as, the start of our life together :) and me having a help-mate, a husband, a friend, a companion. Oh yeah, a husband. So please make dua for us that he is granted this visa. I have been making dua, asking Allah to please grant me shifa, protect my family and loved ones, and let Cap'n come. I would like to ask everyone reading this to please do the same and especially remember Aaminah in your dua. She is being taken EXCELLENT care of but she needs her mama.

Last night my sister brought her by to tell me goodnight. She saw me sitting in the waiting area (Oh how hard it was to walk downstairs, out of breath, no energy) but she saw me before I saw her and yelled, "Mama!" and came running and hugging and kissing. Wallah it's enough to break your heart. I am sure more than a few bystanders were touched as well by her poignant call. I know it made my heart skip a beat (or two).

Oh on a different front, hygiene. Hospital hygiene. Can you say non-existant?? Well for me it's very difficult. I have the in-dwelling vascular catheter in my upper thigh which goes straight into a main vein. So it's imperative to keep it dry and clean. No water can touch it, only sterile drapes and environment. :-( So baths and even showers are out. I tried the body wash clothes but for real, they smell like nasty baby wipes and it's just gross. I've done the "stand in an inch of hot water and wash off with a damp soapy cloth" but again, no real joy.

I also do not wear typical hospital clothes. I have my go-to outfit for the hospital. I wear wide, soft black pants, an underdress that is a big snug, and then an overshirt with long sleeves, past my knees. Topped off by no other than my black khimar, 24/7. Yes. So now I am reaching that stage where I need a change of clothes as well because I cannot stand to be unclean or immodest. I hate hospital gowns with a passion. Rough, scratchy, immodest... so I think I'll get a friend to pick up lounge-y clothes for me today at home, take this one and wash it and bring it back. It's cute, comfy, modest and makes me feel like less of a patient although I know very well that I am one. :-)

Wow, why am I up so early blogging?? Well doctors and nurses have to come in at all hours, I have lots of time to rest (typically) and that equals a blog post at 6:46 am. Keeping in mind the time changed today and it's really 5:46 am to my body and brain. :-)

Alright pretty sure I've moaned on long enough now. I have been keeping a headache, stiff neck, etc. and my go-to treatment (a bath) is a no-no now so I've been depending on tylenol. :-( I hate to take more meds, I'm on an enormous amount now. Actually I'll go over them with you so you can get a feel:

Prograf, new anti-rejection med*
Myfortic, anti-rejection med
MASSIVE doses of prednisone yay me. No not really except insha'Allah it will work!
Spironolactone, diuretic
Magnesium oxide*
Nexxium (for stomach pain)
IV Immunoglobulin (human antibodies ewwwww lol)*
Albumin (human protein ewwww lol) to replace plasma lost in exchange*
tylenol and bendaryl, pre-medication for the antibody treatment so only on those days*
IV blood pressure meds* secondary to the high steroids so i'A will go away after but time will tell
IV calcium (on plasmapharesis days)*
Intramuscular insulin (for my newly developed diabetes secondary to high steroid use so i'A temporary)*
Potassium citrate or chloride, depending on my blood chemistries
Sodium bicarb*
A one time dose of morphine which made me LOOPY and caused me to sing a response to my sister afterwards. I've stuck with percocet and tylenol since, thankyouverymuch*

Ok so all items * are new. Alhamdulillah for modern medicine and the knowledge Allah swt gives human to better our condition. Alhamdulillah for the gift of dua to beseech Allah to help us in our times of trouble.

Okey dokey, I think that's enough. My head is aching (surprise) and probably tap, tap, tapping away at the keyboard isn't the most conducive thing to helping it go away. A nice cuppa milky tea, however, would do the trick. I need tea!!!!!!!!! :-)

Please, just remember my family and I in your dua. Cap'n and the stress he is facing, Aaminah and her tender little heart, and yes, my transplanted buddy. :-) Keep us all in your prayers.

Ma salaama ya'll....

What do you wear in your home?



*At Sr. Ahsan's suggestion, I removed the photo of a classical painting depicting a woman in a Turkish hammam (public bath). It was Islamically inappropriate in that it showed her awrah and I thank the sister for speaking up. :-)*

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. After a conversation with a friend I was wondering what other wear in their home? I feel like I might be a little weird, now, based on her laughter. I always wear a long dress (usually sleeveless, tho, I get hot easy) and most often with light, stretchy pants under it but not always. I have a couple of "house-dresses" I wear that are actually made for out and about but aren't too hijab friendly for me.

On the rare occasion I wear a shirt, it comes to my knees and then I wear pants with it. Sometimes I do wear a denim skirt and kameez shirt in the house but to be honest I generally don't go to all the trouble.

I guess I get a kick out of all the old paintings and descriptions of a seraglio and the scantily-clad women. Also in a book written by an American reporter about women in Islam (I won't give the title a shout-out) she described being invited to a part in the middle east where the before burka'd women were in transparent negligees, their lack of hair apparent. I was like LOL yeah right! I hate it when the media panders the to appetites of the masses.

And this was supposed to be in KSA if memory serves. Anyway I really doubt the veracity of her claims and I am pretty sure most of my readers dress in a somewhat similiarly modest fashion.

So, what do you guys wear in the home?

Oh the shame of it!

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. Alternate title: hijabi closet of shame. Most of us have one. Filled to bursting with clothes that a) don't fit b) went out of style 10 yrs ago, c)bought on a splurge and later regretted it or mostly likely, d) a combination of the above. :-)

So I decided to come clean, as it were, and air my secret obsession with clothes I don't wear yet still, for some reason, hang onto. Mostly because I am just so positive I'll lose that 20lbs and then, well won't I have enough clothes! lol

Insha'allah you get some enjoyment out of this; sorry it came out kinda dark. The bedroom only has lamplight, not an overhead, so it maybe isn't stellar quality. Oh and I got inspired by Sr. Mona's recent video efforts.

Ma salaama ya'll!

Re-purposed skirt to toddler dress

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll! You might have noticed I've been on a little craftin' kick lately. It's something that is in my blood; my grandmother is known to buy a lovely wool suit, take it home, deconstruct it, cut it down, and sew it back. Masha'Allah! She also crochets, grows lovely gardens, cooks, blah blah blah. My own mother can do painting, woodwork, crocheting, macrame, cake decorating... I can't list it all. My lovely sis crochets, knits, writes fiction, and oh so much more.

I am actually the black sheep of our crafting family. I cross-stitch but have never learned any more about crocheting than making a simple chain. :-) I have done other projects here and there (some simple folksy painting on decorations, etc) but I am no where near the skill level of my family. So I'm happy to report I've stepped up to the plate and can lay claim to the family inheritance, at least a little.

I got my inspiration for this dress via one of HijabiMommy's links. It was for tutorials on a blog called Craftiness is not optional. Super talented woman, btw! I spied her re-fashioned skirt to dress here and couldn't wait to try it out! I did a little step by step, not a tutorial or anything but just so you could see what was going on.

It was 50% off Wednesday at my local Salvation Army. I picked up this awesome blue and white striped Banana Republic skirt for a cool $2.50. Yeah, read 'em and weep! I felt a pang of guilt for taking this super-cute skirt to remake into a dress for Aaminah. ONLY because as it was, it was beautifully made and that was gonna change as soon as I got my hands on it! Here it is, pre-transformation:

Skirt before I got my hands on it! Notice the chocolate wrapper on the floor. :-D

So I took Aaminah's measurements and started a-cuttin'. :-) I turned it inside-out and made my measurements. It had a nice hidden zipper on the side but because of the oh-so-pretty pleats in the front I had to cut equal amounts off both sides. I briefly considered re-inserting the fabric strip with the zipper in the back but... I just didn't. :-) It fits over her head so alhamdulillah it wasn't necessary. I might kick myself later but for now...

close-up of the pleats. How pretty! This fabric is really nice too, btw.

I ended up not cutting any length off. For one, the bottom of the skirt was sooo cute with a mock-smocking effect and 2 layers. I didn't want to cut off the top because the waist band made a perfect top to attach the straps. It ended up being about an inch too long but I am going to do pick-ups or something; I haven't figured it out yet. Here it is after cutting off the required amounts:

Hahahaha... I cut sooo straight! Alhamdulillah I sewed a bit better. lol

I like to tell where I make errors so others insha'Allah can benefit from my mess up. Here I made a couple of mistakes. One, I really need better scissors and one of those measuring/cutting boards. My scissors are $5.96 specials from Wal-Mart. I also need to invest in some pins and USE them. Notice my erratic sewing? PIN YOUR FABRIC. :-)

Also in the tutorial the lady folded her skirt in half and cut through both at one time to ensure it was symmetrical. Ummmm yeah. I didn't. :-) Like I said, end result I don't think you can see but it sure looks funny here!

After sewing the side seams, this is what we have:

Ready for me to make the straps. Now that's another issue. Honestly, I have to get a board and good scissors! I just kinda eye-balled it; alhamdulillah they were really close in size but it could have been a lot better if I would have just slowed down. I always feel rushed when I sew (the too-busy mom guilt) so I tend to hurry myself.

Anyway got the straps sewn in and then decorated the front (mostly to hide the stitching) with some hand-made yo-yos. Cute I think.

I sewed in the straps in a V-shape in the back to keep them from slipping off her shoulder. :-) They are pretty spot-on but the dress was folded a little.

Well here is the finished product. It took me about an hour but should have taken longer if I would have done a better job. However, it's cute and the fabric is so nice and has some really awesome details so it totally makes up for any shoddiness on my part. :-)

Here is the complete dress:

Notice the awesome details on the bottom of the skirt.

So here is my list of things to look for if you want to repurpose a skirt:

1. It's great to have a zipper in it but make sure it's in a place you can keep it and use it. Otherwise you might want to get a different skirt.

2. Keep any decorations (such as the center pleats) centered. Alhamdulillah I remembered that gem!!!

3. Have good equipment! Really. That includes good thread (I bought cheap cotton and it's annoying me!).

4. Take your time. If it says it takes an hour, plan on 4 so you do things exactly right.

5. Decide how to handle the skirt liner, if there is one. In my case, I went ahead and just sewed it into the dress seams but it would have been better to have take it out and done it separately.

and finally....

6. Don't forget steps! I forgot to serge/zig-zag my raw edges. I don't have a serger but I could have used the zig-zag function on my machine. I didn't remember to (novice mistake) and I just pressed my seams flat. Oh well, live and learn!

I also bought a couple of other super-cute skirts/dresses/shirt to make into clothes for her. It's really fun for me and it's much cheaper to use $2.00 items from the thrift shop than to waste fabric at $7 a yard. :-)

If you make this, please let me know! I would love to see it. :-) Ma salaama ya'll..

***Hijabi clothing alert***

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. I found this very hijab-friendly tshirt while looking for bras today. (I really wanted to say "whilst" but refrained as I am neither British nor Canadian). It's 39" long (yes!) has long sleeves and a modest neckline. It comes in sizes M to 6X masha'Allah. It's only $9.99 and comes in 4 colors although some are sold out. Go here to check it out.

I've ordered a heather blue and a heather grey, opting out of the red and magenta. Yeah you know me, not too exciting in the color palette department. :-) I don't normally buy in multiples anymore but this seems like such a great shirt for exercising (um, I do it sometimes!) or just spending some time at the park.

Insha'Allah this will be of some help to ya'll. I have to say I've never ordered through here before but it's a huge, well-known company for plus size clothing. Some of their items come in regular sizes as well.

Ma salaama ya'll!

I have a newly diagnosed disorder....

Alhamdulillah I was born too late to fall prey to the "goth steampunk" look. I woulda fallen HARD. Just sayin' :-)

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. I've just been diagnosed with a disorder which, unfortunately, has been a problem for me for quite some time. It's called "fashion schizophrenia" and I am afraid I have a fatal case. :-D

My entire life, no one has EVER accused me of being "fashion forward". After a very unfortunate 80's inspired teenage era I moved straight into a straight jeans and t-shirt phase. Oh wait, before that, while in college, I did try to look more fashionable. I bought a track suit. You know, the shiny, noisy ones made out of some kinda of synthetic material, in multi colors, the kind still sported by old dudes out walking in the mall? Hmm. In my defense they were ALL the rage back in the early 90s.

Mine was white with lime green and purple. Possibly some black to perk it up. lol. I wore with it a shirt that had cacti made out of sequins. I still remember it (with convulsions of guilt mingled with disbelief!). It appears I either dressed oh no, over-the-top or just tried to be as unobtrusive as possible. Anyway I do have a picture of me in this fine suit.

I would even be willing to scan it and post it here but our scanner is on the fritz. Oh and I had a fake butt on as well. Yes, dear readers, I did. A fake bottom. False behind. Whatever you wanna call it. I saw one advertised in a magazine. Much to my chagrin, this baby didn't have back. :-D I was bottom-challenged and it was a sore point with me. So much that I parted with about $50 of my hard earned dollars and bought this... this foam monstrosity.

I even wore it. Once. In the unfortunate track suit photo mentioned above. Alhamdulillah I had the good sense to realize it was ridiculous but allowed my then-boyfriend (the boys' eventual father, my soon-to-be husband) to snap a pic for "posterity". (Haha, posterity for my posterior. Funny!) Or more likely, to remind me to never experiment with color again!!!!

OK so after the disastrous attempt to be colorful and stylish, I did the "I don't care how I dress" phase, the jeans and t-shirt Jeanna. Comfy stretchy jeans and men's t-shirts, to be exact. Oh my.  After that, when I had a job that demanded dressing up, I morphed into "old lady at 25" with sensible slacks and polyblend tops. Yes top, not shirts. In my defense, my sensibly-dressing MIL bought my work wardrobe for me, as I didn't have the funds. Still shuddering...

Then came my entrance into the world or dressing more like a woman and one who isn't having a psychadelic flashback to some groovy time. :-) I lost some weight (quite a bit, I was very sick prior to dialysis) and realized that a) I was actually a woman b) I didn't have to have a perfect anything to look nicer and c) I could somewhat rely on my own sense of style.

Well don't you know c is the one that came back to bite me on the butt? Because of my well-earned distrust of my fashion sense (don't you know that term was an oxymoron for me? lol) I had lost all faith in my ability to put together an outfit. So if I found one thing I liked, that wasn't obnoxious, I wanted to buy it in every color. This is the Dialysis Diva phase btw. :-) Not so diva but better...

I wore jeans that fit and had found a longer, a-line, cap sleeved tshirt made by Hanes her Way at Wal-Mart. I bought a grey one. Ahhh the comfort, the fit, the love... I then proceeded to buy a navy, a red, a black and a white. Yeah, I did. And I pretty much just wore those. :-) I had a few other things I would vary it with but this was indeed my daily uniform. Dear Readers, I felt pretty for the first time in a looooong time. Not just capable or dependable or acceptable but pretty.

This is also called my "Sporty Spice" stage. I bought alot of sporty knits, any top with a stripe was game for me, and paired with a long denim skirt or similar.

And all it took was a $7 t-shirt. :-))  But I digress... Oh this is gonna be a long post, I can feel it. You know, it's cathartic to get rid of all this shame that's been building in me for years. I'm actually surprised no one in my family did an intervention. Well one friend did she forced lovingly encouraged me to buy a couple of dressier sandals, more fitted tops, a dress or two. I acqueisced but never felt comfortable in them.

OK sorry back on track. So after the dialysis stage I kinda settled into my style; understated, comfy but feminine. Not racy, not sexy, but definitely not as modest as I dress now. So let's just skip ahead to now, which is actually the entire reason I started this post!

This is when my fashion schizophrenia really manifested itself. Before, I couldn't settle on any one (horrible) look. Now I can hop from abaya to shalwar kameez to long jean skirt and cotton top. I like pretty shoes and nice purses but my favorite footwear continues to be my men's leather sandals which I would happily wear everyday if this crazy weather here would cooperate! Comfort is my queen but I as long as it feels good and is modestly-fitting I can go crazy!

I have some jalabiyya that are decked out in sequins and fringe, a couple of very sophisticated abayaat that make me feel like an Arabian princess, shalwar kameez ranging from daily wear cotton to a bridal-type in rusty red and gold. I'll glame it up for 'Eid or I am happy to wear my "old faithful", a black abaya, my first abaya ever, gifted to me by a sweet sister. It has a scissor hole in the hem from a Muslim Scouts meeting (my fault, not a child's lol) and I have to re-sew the underarm seams periodically. Hands down my favorite abaya EVER. Not stylish at ALL.

You all know by now my predilection for the tie-back, polyblend khimars. Now I've added a couple of overhead abayaat to the mix. I'm learning how to wear them gracefully but the idea of them is uber-appealing. :-)

Now that I'm married to a Tunisian Arab he has less appreciation for my "eclectic" fashion sense. :-) Masha'Allah my husband is very plain and I am usually very plain as well, happy as a lark in my plain abaya and khimar.

But sometimes... the fashion schizophrenia flares up and I long, just for a day, to be the Arabian Princess or the Indian Rani or even the Funky American Revert. Just for a day... :-) 

I feel guilty when I see my closetful of clothes. Correction, closet FULL of clothes. Most of them unworn now, feeling unloved, unneeded. :-D I still have affection for them but no opportunity to wear them. In my home, I'm a busy mama and I don't have the time or the reason to wear something nice. Outside of my home, I dress modestly which for my husband means on abaya and which for me generally means abaya. (I feel some other things are very modest but have worn abaya so long, by my own accord, and now as a means to please my husband, that I wouldn't change.)

Any of you out there fellow fashion faux-pas-ers? :-)

Who out there wears overhead abayaat?

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. I am thinking of expanding my clothing repetoire (which is pretty basic) into overhead abaya. I mean, I wear abaya all the time anyway but then have to throw a hijab on top (I wear the tie-back khimar style) so I think I can really streamline this situation. lol

However I must must must must must have a peak (the part that sticks out) on my forehead. Flat to the forehead hijab is NOT a good look on me. Plus I don't like showing so much of my forehead but I digress.

I want to know who does or has worn an overhead and if you've ever tried the chador overhead abaya, a newer style. It has the forehead piece and ties back behind the head but is all one piece abaya to the ground.

Any sources would be great. I found one (see above) on http://www.alhediya.com/ (I think) but it's $56 PLUS shipping and I just can't justify that amount. So I would super appreciate any words of advice you all can give insha'allah.

Ma salaama....