To work or not to work...

Really, there's no question. :-) A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. UofA has found herself in a weird position: having to work again! Gasp! OK before any of you "get off your lazy butt" kinda people chime in you should know being a homemaker is a FULL TIME JOB. There was many a day I would have (almost) switched places and gone to work. There you do your time, clock out, khalas.

A mama never rests. Cooking, shopping, cleaning, laundry, ok yeah fair enough. Oh wait schedule and ferry to doctor appointments, Islamic school/religious education, trips to the park or for a walk. Don't forget you need to get more supplies (shopping again!) and referee in the all-too-frequent spats which occur with alarming frequency.

This is just an easy day, ya'll. :-) And my day lasted from fajr to well past isha. Yes, get off my lazy behind indeed!!! lol

Now however, I must seek employment to provide for myself and little Feisty One. :-) Most places are not very muhajabat-friendly and I cannot say I blame them. Given the choice between me (nice person, competent, intelligent) and someone who fits in with society in general... well businesses are there to make money right? :-) So I tried my Islamic school where I used to work as a preschool teacher but alhamdulillah 2 months into the year they of course have their positions filled. :-)

I realllly wanted my old job back as admin at my masjid. Yes it was a paying positiong but my opportunity to do good for my community was immense. I loved it! Alhamdulillah the previous admin had just left which boded well for me.

Except... a member of our Shura board felt our community didn't really need an admin. Oh woe is me! So of course insha'Allah it might change but I am not banking on something to happen that might not. So I have found a position babysitting.

My problem with it however is that the pay is ultra-low: $4 an hour. :-( I want to help out the sister and her family but as I only work about 3-4 hours a day, well you can do the math. Plus it's in the middle of the day so it's almost impossible to do anything else. My whole day taken up for $12. :-)

Now I have one other issue which is making me have doubts. They are masha'allah very neat and their home sparsely furnished. In the room we mostly stay in Aaminah plays with 2 blue bean bag chairs. Of course I bring some toys for her. Anyway when we arrived yesterday the sister tells Aaminah very nicely, "Your job today is to be very neat and not make a mess".

I'm thinking, WTHeck, we take all of our toys home and other than that, there is only 2 bean bag chairs and 2 little stuffed bears. The sister goes on to tell me her husband is VERY particular about their home and doesn't like it messed up.

I was offended, sisters. I am very careful when in someone else's home. I always insist Aaminah behave and clean up after herself and I assist her. I knew we never left a mess here! Then I noticed the bean bag chairs are always in the EXACT same position, pushed down in the middle, pushed down a bit on the top, so the rest is fluffed out fully. The little bears are on opposite sides of the masjid clock and always at the same angle.

Oooooh now I see. Subhanallah. So I always put things back in their place but I never did those things. And sisters, do not judge me harshly, I will not. I will not put a chair back, and push it down, and plump the sides and tilt a stuffed bear at an exact angle. I am doing them a service and I do not want to feel like my daughter is viewed as a messy girl simply because they have very exacting standards.

I really don't know what to do now. It isn't fair to Aaminah, yesterday I was so worried about her bothering these things. I don't want them to feel we are messing up their things but I don't want my daughter to feel stressed nor myself.

Subhanallah. Also there is the issue of transportation. My van is still in MA and I was borrowing my son's car. So I am currently without transportation. :-( The sister said she would pick me up and bring me as it's only 5 minutes to her house, jazaki Allahu khair.

Then yesterday she calls and says her husband needs to get me. I said, "Sister, I am not comfortable". She seemed surprised and a bit offended so, realizing if I were to every take a taxi, I would be in a car with a man, I agreed but unhappily and she said she would be the one to do it afterwards. She did bring me home yesterday.

Now she just called and said the baby wasn't being happy and her husband will come again!!! Subhanallah. I am very unhappy. I made my position known yesterday. I felt they thought I was being a bit ridiculous and now, because I agreed yesterday, I didn't know how to say no today. I am very unhappy right now and Allah forgive me if I am speaking out of turn. I think I will have to make some changes but, as small as my payment, I need that money and I don't really know what to do otherwise.

Please make du'a for me and ask Allah swt to make my way clear and help me to trust in His provisions, amin.

Don't ya'll hate...

it when a blogger writes a teaser title like "Don't ya'll hate" then only has a one or two sentence blog post?

I do; I feel cheated. :-)) Just sayin'...

Ma salaama....

Finally, a cute sarubobo :-)

See? Brave enough to enlarge this photo. :-)

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. So I made another one; I couldn't wait, the last one was just sooo... Oh I don't know, like the fat girl who doesn't get invited to the dance, or the stupid cousin you'd like to erase from your family tree. :-)) I felt after TWO craftin' failures in a row, I really had to get back my street cred.

Such as it were. Ahem.

Anyhoo... sorry I'm a little annoyed now. Just got a call from Yousef's school saying we needed to meet with the principal and his teacher because the teacher apparently had been trying to get in contact with A and could not. Wait a minute, WTHeck? I spoke with this teacher at the beginning of the year and he offered to send home a daily report (Yousef, my stepson, has some behavior issues) which would detail his behavior plus his homework.

IT NEVER CAME. Can you do the math? That was in September, now it's almost May. It never ever ever came. I even spoke with the Asst. Principal about it a few weeks ago. So now suddenly THEY have been trying to contact us? Hmmmm. Don't think so.

This is gonna lead me to another little rant. I hate hate hate hate despise when people assume because we are practicing Muslims (read: beard and abaya sportin', they know nothing about our ibadah) that we are ignorant. It makes me want to get a PhD in ass-y-ness (as this principal apparently has!!) just so I can saunter in and say, "No, actually, its' DOCTOR Umm Aaminah." LOL

They always, always act surprised when a) I speak correct english, b) understand what they are saying and c) actually have some original and pertinent thoughts of my own. Gasp!

OK sorry for that. I usually am pretty upbeat, give others the benefit of the doubt, but I really dislike this school system here. I never faced these issues in Tennessee. Well I mean my friends never faced these issues; everyone got along and there was a minimum of ass-y-ness to deal with. Anyway sorry I had to share all that but she just called and interrupted my happy happy post about my sarubobo skillz.

So back to that:  To recap, I first made this:

"Dur-de-dur-dur-dur!!!!"

And then I managed to create this:

"Oh look at me, la-dee-dee! I'm so cute and petite!" lol

 Alright, really all I wanted to say; the rest is just gravy. :-)

Ma salaama ya'll!

Oh me oh me, Mrs. Y

Hehehe funny...

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. My stepdaughter Hafsa has had a few issues at her school involving the staff not being particularly sensitive to our religious requirements. (So have the 2 younger ones as well.) As the only Muslims in the school district (that we are aware of, there might be more but they are incognito) we kind of expect a few things and we brush off those that are simply annoying or funny.

The following however does NOT fit the category. Uh-huh not at all. Please read an email I sent to the principal of her middle school. You'll find it interesting, to say the least:


From: ME!

Sent: Friday, April 08, 2011 10:08 AM

To: Mr. Principal

Subject: incident involving my stepdaughter

Hello Mr. Principal, this is _________ Hafa __________'s stepmother. I tried to call you in the office today but I was informed you were out for a morning meeting. As we will be attending prayer service this afternoon, I felt it best to email you so I could inform you of the issue.

(I will try to write exactly as Hafsa related the story.)

Yesterday Hafsa came home and told us that her teacher, Mrs. Y, asked what was wrong with her. Hafsa replied, "My mom won't sign the paper for us to go to Tunisia with my father."

Mrs. Y stated she did not blame Hafsa's mother. She said women do not have rights "over there" and most kids who travel overseas do not return (?). She said (I can't remember if she said Hafsa in particular or just girls) that "They marry them off to old men."

My husband and I are livid that she is equating my husband with this type of personage. Just because he is an Arab Muslim doesn't make him a mysogynistic, opportunistic child abuser. Hafsa often comes home and relates little things Mrs. Y says that do not sit well with us but I do not like to make a big deal over nothing.

For example, one day Hafsa came home and said Mrs. Y told the class, "I am smarter than all your parents". I find this to be an offensively inaccurate statement, spoken out of true ignorance.

Please contact us at your earliest convenience. Although I am aware Hafsa might have accidentally mistated some facts, the gist of the conversation remains the same. Muslim men, including her father, sell their daughters de facto to the highest bidder and are not to be trusted.

We find this to be unacceptable behavior and attitude from any teacher but especially one who works mainly with immigrant students.

Thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing back from you soon. You may call anytime today after 3:00 pm.

Sincerely,

ME! ;-)
 
Please see now Mr. Principal's reply. In the 2 previous issues we've had with the school, he has always instilled the utmost confidence in me with his abilities and he did not disappoint now.
 
Ms. ME!, I will follow this up before the end of the day and call you in the early evening. I may only have time to gathher minimal information, but am certainly not happy that anything even approaching this conversation might have taken place.


Sincerely,

Mr. Principal

Alhamdulillah he appears to be taking this seriously. WE have definitely taken it seriously. One of the issues last year had to do with Hafsa wearing hijab. She had gotten warm (it was summer and there is no A/C in the school) and went to the school nurse. Basically the school nurse told her she should dress lighter and that by covering her head she was asking to overheat. She also questioned why we as her parents allowed her to dress that way. He was very sensitive of our "cultural" issue which I quickly assured him was NOT cultural, but a religious obligation.

Anyway I look forward to his phone call and to what it might bring. This teacher honestly is unbelievably; always making snarky comments, etc.

What would you guys do in this situation? Ma salaama....

Looks can be deceiving!

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll! Did you see the yummy looking box of goodies we received from a neighbor for Eid? Masha'allah it was sooo sweet of the brother, and sooo beautiful!

Don't these look absolutely divine?

Alas, I could not eat them. :-( And believe me, I was salivating at the thought. However, these had a really funky taste, like they had marinated in cigarette smoke for a good couple of days before being liberally doused with pine tar. :-(

OK maybe I am exaggerating a tiny bit but they tasted smoky/piney. I've never had a pastry that tasted like that before! I think possibly it was pine essence... dunno. My family liked them pretty well but it was a deal-breaker for me.

Anyone else experienced this level of heartbreak before? :-) Jazakallahu khair to the brother for the beautiful thought but maybe next time he'll just give me a bottle of Liquid Smoke instead. LOL Oh for what its worth they came from a Lebanese bakery; maybe there's some weird little flavoring they use that just doesn't jive with Western tastes.

Ma salaama ya'll!

Moderate Muslim?

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. We've all heard the phrase "moderate muslim" thrown around ALOT recently... in the news... on fb... on youtube... however you get your information. It's the only way mainsteam Americans can refer to Muslims it appears. Well I have a little to say on this point:

I am NOT a "moderate" muslim. I am NOT a "wahhabist" (which isn't actually correct terminology but debating minor points isn't the reason I am writing this post). I am NOT an "extremist". I am not a "______" anything.

I AM A MUSLIM. I follow the Qur'an and the sunnah of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (saws). I follow the paths of all of the prophets and messengers sent by Allah from before. I strive to do what's right for myself, my family, my deen, my community...

I am not an apologist. I do not apologize for anything that others have done in the name of Islam, under it's banner, using their religion incorrectly. Just as I do not expect every Catholic I meet to apologize to me for the nasty goings-on of some of their clergy because I am open enough to realize that BAD PEOPLE DO BAD THINGS.

I also do not condemn those of my brothers and sisters overseas who fight against the invasion of their homes, the disruption of the lives, the molding of their futures by powers they cannot control.

I do however have zero tolerance for people who twist the words of Allah to justify ruthless slayings, or to imprison (literally and figuratively) their female relatives, or any of the other million and one things IMPERFECT people try to get by with doing.

Sometimes the pressure of being a religious minority is heavy on me. I love giving dawah and I do strive to uphold Islamic principals in my day to day life. (I'm not a jumah-only muslim.) Sometimes though I have a bad day, maybe I'm grouchy or I don't feel good or my kids gave me a hard time or maybe I am tired or in a hurry and I miss an opportunity to show through my actions the beauty of Islam.

I hate to feel that, like the terrorists who committed 9/11, I will be the face of an entire religion for anyone I meet that day.

I long sometimes to pack it up and move overseas. Now before anyone starts to criticize me, please remember I've been to a couple of different Muslim-majority countries. I know it's harder to live there, I know I would miss all the comforts of home. I know all of the negatives, really I do.

But there is just that draw. I am not so delusional (anymore!) to really think every muslim I meet will love me and feel I am their sisters in Islam, give me a great big "salaam" and we become insta-friends. :-D You know, I would settle just to be able to go into a doctor's office and not have to go through a page-long explanation when I do not shake their hand, or to walk on the street and not have that little niggly feeling that something could happen because of the hijab on my head. Or, wonder of all wonder, to be allowed to worship in peace and build religious centers wherever there is land and money enough available.

To all of the thinking, feeling, understanding, and open individuals who realize Islam is not twisted, it's not to be feared, and we, like all other religious entities in the US, deserve the protection of the Constitution, I thank you. Truly.

Salaam...

Ramadhan journal: Day 5

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll and a HUGE "grrrr". I had my post completed and then, thanks to my nimble fingers, obviously managed to select all text and in the next keystroke... you guessed it, erased my entire post. Hmm. Sorry this won't be as interesting as the original.:-)

Day 5 recap:

Ibadah: prayed 8 rakaat taraweeh, did extra dhikr, prayed some sunnah prayers
Iftar: at masjid, spicy Indian food=McDs fish sandwich for me!
Overall grade: Incomplete

Why an incomplete? Because I had to break my fast due to my ongoing health saga. I don't think it's too dramatic to call it a "saga". :-) Anyway I started getting the symptoms of a UTI again so I had to stop it and drink, drink, drink. I think I will take 2 days off and then fast every other day unless the problem persists. I don't want to miss the experience of fasting but neither do I want to harm myself. Wa Allahu alim.

OK so there is my condensed post. I am sure I had some really witty observations or maybe even a pithy one or two but alas, they got thrown out with the dishwater. I'll still do daily updates but be prepared to be under-whelmed. :-)

Ma salaama ya'll!

Buy with caution

A'salaamu alaikum. I bought 5 abayaat from East Essence because their prices were, well, too good to be true. We paid $140 for 5 abayaat. Mine was fine, true to size. None of them were great quality but for the price, didn't expect it.

The other four were all too small. They all measured about 3 inches too small in most areas. We contacted the company to return them, and then of course I had to pay return shipping.

The company just contacted me and said they will not honor the return because they measured them and they were correct. ?? They also said they had been worn and were stained and wrinkled.

Ummm they were wrinkled because I had to stuff them back in the packaging and as they were SKIN tight they were never worn. Any stains were from their factory. Subhanallah.

I am very displeased with the company, especially the tone they used when writing to me. Accusing me of being dishonest, wearing something and then returning it. Anyway now I have to spend ANOTHER $10 to get them returned to me. I will hope to sell them on eBay and make a little of the money back so I can buy the girls some new abayaat for Ramadan.

Please excercise caution if you want to do business with this company. No problem if your order comes in good shape; beware if there are any issues.

Ma salaaama.