A turn for the worse but still smiling...

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. Subhanallah what can happen in a few days time! I came into the ER with a suspected infection in my arm. Feeling normal (which for me is less than great anyway) but they decided to check my kidney function.

Rejection. Suspected rejection. So it started (this was Sunday night) Admitted to the hospital, next day had another biopsy on my poor little kidney. Given fluids. Didn't get result until Tuesday and it showed definite rejection on both a cellular and antibody level. Cellular is a chronic type and antibodies is what we think of as acute rejection. Apparently a roaring case of it. Alhamdulillah.

Treatment: Its a double apprach. Massive doses of steroids to calm the cellular rejection and then plasmapharesis to insha'Allah clear up this acute rejection. I have antibodies attacking my transplant. Dang it, attack other things, not my kidney! So plasmapharesis is close to dialsys. I had to have a large vein access placed, in my groin (joint of thigh and body). 2 foot long in-dwelling cathether to be used for 5 days. No showers, no baths. Joy.

Yesterday I had the immunoglobulin treatment. They had to give me about 5 hours worth of IG antibodies. They are gonna go in my body and irritate the antibodies that are attacking my kidney and cause them to swell. Then they will take my blood out via one port and then spin out my plasma, causing the swollen antibodies to be removed, then replace my plasma and my blood. Basically like dialysis, similar procedure, will take 3-5 hours to do. I'll do 1 IG treatment, then next day plasmapharesis until I've completed at least 3 cycles. Then I'll have a repeat biopsy. Yay. Feels so good (not!).

My biggest problem is access. All of my veins are very surface, very wiggly, and very uncooperative. I was stuck 10 times to try and get the larger-sized immunoglobulin access in. It is failing so I shall have to have a semi-permanent one placed in my neck or should. Oh the joy. My veins are just destroyed, so fragile, from years of prednisone useage which I must take to preserve my kidney. You always have to pay the piper, sisters. :-) So anyway my arms, after 9 unsuccessful attempts (awesome nurses, just bad veins) I am a mass of bruises up and down my forearms. Alhamdulillah. After hardship comes ease and I'm definitely banking on that some day. :-) Insha'Allah!

We are right now concerned with stopping my rejection and loss of function. I pray that it works, that Allah grants me shifa, and helps me take better care of my kidney. We all take things for granted, sisters, whether its family, friends, or (relatively speaking) good health. I have been working waaaaay too hard and not able to take very good care of myself. Once again to anyone who felt I was trying to take the easy way out and look for a husband to care for me: I need cared for. I'm not healthy and I can't keep up this pace. Alhamdulillah if ya'll can, I can't and my body is screaming this at me. It's my right to have a husband to care for me and I need it, khalas.

So I've included some pics of allll the beautiful flowers from friends and family. Masha'Allah sisters, I am so loved. I've had a dear blogger friend offer to donate a kidney if needed (jazaki Allahu khair!) and just so much dua being made for me. It's humbling and beautiful and if I didn't feel so bad right now, I'd be smiling.

I am a bit of a stoic and I don't want my family worried, I don't want Cap'n worried as he is so far away and can do nothing. So I grin and bear it. Which is my normal mode anyway, even before Islam, and now of course I have the promise from Allah swt that he will not put more on ME than I can bear and I know this is true. I also know He will expiate my sins for all of the hardship and pain insha'Allah and I am so happy for that as well. But... it's hard to be sick, hard to be away from my daughter, my home, my job, my life. I try to be a gracious patient but it's a trial sometimes.

Especially on the high doses of prednisone which I discussed LAST February when I had my rejection episode. Unfortunately this one is much more severe. Oh yesterday was also my 10 year transplant-iversary yay me! However, I was back in the same hospital. Boo!

I have vowed to try and take better care of myself. Hydrate more (water water water!) be uber-compliant with my meds, work a bit less if possible, and exercise/lose some weight. All of these things are not impossible just take dedication. I don't want my kidney to fail, I don't want to be back here again. I want to live strong and healthy (for me! lol) i'A and I want to build my new life. Please keep me in your dua and also please make dua that Cap'n is allowed to come here soon. I need him with me, living alone and having to do it all is just past my endurance.

Enjoy the pics! :-)

Beautiful orchid from my sis. It's alive and can take it home to kill it! lol

Aww little mommy brought me some flowers and a balloon. This is her "I'm so sweet and love you" face. LOL

All the flowers, cards and candy I've received. Oops one box is out of the pic!

Kindle e-reader and laptop. Yay!

Table with diet coke and breathing machine. Double yay!

My co-worker Beth and her husband brought those for me. Very spring-like.

Tulips from my mom. Beautiful.

Rose from a sweet sister in MA. She also sent a box o' chocolates. Yum.

Other view of the stunning orchid. I always think of Sr. Ria when I see an orchid. She grows beautiful ones!

Where have I been???

Salaaaaaam ya'll! I've been busy. Working my 7 days a week, 10 hours a day. Exhausted, writing is the LAST thing on my mind. However, word is easing up, I'm getting one day off a week and only 9 hours a day. So happy alhamdulillah!

So much has happened, where to start? Still unmarried, all things come in their season, dear readers. :-) I did FINALLY get my belongings from the movers. Alhamdulillah! I had to pay another $960 but was just so happy and grateful I had a job so I was able to pay it on my own and not have to ask for help from anyone. That is a blessing in itself! So now instead of a bare apartment we have boxes and bags and containers, oh my! :-) Be careful what you wish for, huh? I would say I just want the time to put things aright and rearrange, decorate but I need my job and it will be over after the end of April so I am sure the mess will wait for me.

And wait. And wait. :-))

Anyway so that was some good news. Aaminah is growing like a WEED. Yes indeed. Most of her 4T clothes she has outgrown masha'Allah. Time for the charity bags. :-) She also has heaps of baby toys for toddlers so we'll go through everything as time permits and really pare down. I enjoy this type of thing and am looking forward to it.

So my job. Wow. I enjoy it, I really like my co-workers and the owner. The job is good too but some of our clients... words just do NOT describe. I have been propositioned and stared at and really it's rattled me a few times. I am not a shy person but alhamdulillah Allah swt gave me haya and now it's difficult for me to interact non-mahrems ESP if for some ridiculous reason they try to flirt with me. I'm like, I'm the one covered in the office and yet, you think you should try your luck with me??? LOL

I have ordered some natural henna products online and as soon as I use them and can really give a good rating I'll do a post. Promise. :-) I wanted a color other than orange-brown henna for my nails and they make all-natural nail, lip and areola stains. Yes sisters you read that last part right as well. :-) It's all-pupose. I'm excited and I'll let ya'll know in a week or so ok?

Oh I did buy a couple of uber-cute sandals recently online, thought I would share. Yes this is a random, mashed-up post. I've had thoughts for some serious ones but no time to do them justice so hope ya'll like this little slice-of-life entry. :-)

So it has kinda sequed into a "here's a few pics for ya" kinda post. I feel like I owe you guys something for being so patient while my life is straightening back out.

Ohhh and speaking of straightening, I got an awesome keratin hair treatment today. I don't splurge on myself but this was $155 with the cut. Ouch! But... it was long over-due and yeah, I feel like I deserve it. My hair was in serious need of some deep-conditioning. This treatment straightens it and conditions it. Now instead of my half-curly, half-wavy, alllll frizzy mess I've got lovely flowing locks. Wish I could show ya'll but well.... you know. :-) Take my word for it, if you can afford to treat yourself and your hair is giving you fits, this is definitely worth it.

Well I have been more appearance-concious lately. Getting remarried and yes, getting in touch with my more feminine roots again. I was just sooo busy in MA and then when I arrived here in Sept I was broke, broke, broke. So I've bought some new clothes, got my hair done and (gettin') my nails did :-), and the cute sandals kinda topping it off.

I have also, on the advice of my doctor, went to the tanning bed a few times.  As a hijabi, my Vitamin D levels are always pretty low but factor in my kidney disease and they get super low. So I decided to pop into the tanning bed a few times. I like having a bit of color to my skin and Vitamin D is called the happy vitamin cause it gives you more energy and improves your mood. Insha'allah. :-)

Alright I think I'll sign out now. Just want ya'll to know I'm happy, Aaminah is healthy, and we are doing alright. :-) ALL praises be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds. :-) Also my boys are doing great, awesome grades, Zack has a part-time job and is in his second semester of university and Alex has a play this weekend where he portrays a knight. Gonna see my budding thespian on Sunday insha'Allah. Love my children, love my family, love my friends, love my life.

Ma salaama ya'll!

These are surprisingly comfortable and reallllly cute. :-) Oh and I got this pair too:

Aaminah painted this for me. Beautiful yes?? :-)

Aaminah at the super-creepy playplace at the BK in my neighborhood. Low lights + funky smell = ewwwwww

Gratitude, it isn't just a word

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. So I like to think of myself as a grateful slave. I noticed I sure say it often enough. Guess in case no one is really paying attention. "Yes my life is hard, I work xx hours a week, I'm a single mom, BUT look how grateful I am???" Cue picture of me smiling, baking cookies with Aaminah.

OK so to cut me just a bit of slack I seriously try to cultivate a grateful attitude but I realized tonight how seriously lacking I truly was.

Aaminah vomited. Not really sick just an upset stomach. Normally, as a seasoned mother of 3, it ain't gonna phase me. A little puke, a lotta puke, whatev right? Well let's factor in my xx hour work week ;-) and the fact I don't have a washer and dryer in my apartment (making a late night laundry load impossible) and it becomes a big deal quick.

So I'm feeling a bit stressed and a lot crapped upon. Yes I'm gonna admit it. Today would have been the one day I had free to actually get to a laundro-mat to do the wash and now it's bedtime and little mama is exhausted. So what do I do??

Make dua? Call a friend and ask for help?

Nope. I facebook!

:-(

I post: "Aaminah vomited all over our bed. Worst part? No time til next Sunday to get to laundromat as I haven't gotten a washer and dryer yet. Alhamdulillah. (Praise God in all things.)

Yes look I me! I tacked on that "alhamdulillah" lest someone think I am ungrateful. I even translate it so my non-Muslim friends can get in on the action and admire how, even in the face of puked-on, stinky laundry, I can still praise ALLAH in all things.

So I roll up the offending pile of covers and re-make our futon (still waiting on those movers!) and settle down. Can't sleep yet, make dua???

Nope, check facebook.

And wow. Honestly I am crying right now. I had 6 people offer to wash them for me. All my bestest of best friends, my closest family members right???

Wrong. How about my middle school (daaaaang UofA, how long ago was THAT??? 27 yrs ya'll) English teacher and a friend from my school days, a sister I know at the masjid but am not tight friends with and a few others.

Wow, it was such a humbling thing. So I post something about how can I complain about ANYTHING when I have so many who would drive so far (an hour!) to pick up my dirty laundry, wash it, and return it???

My dearest sisters, Allah is truly merciful. We sit here and we feel alone and we struggle and we do our best and we fail. Yes we fail, not just in these earthly endeavors but we fail in our responsibilities to our Creator and what do we get in return?

Blessings past counting. That's what I get and it awes and amazes and humbles me. I cannot fathom the love Allah, the Creator of the WORLDS, the Merciful, the All-Powerful, has for me, His most imperfect of creations, that I should be so blessed in so many ways.

My lesson learned tonight was true gratitude and how to fully experience a humbleness of spirit that uplifted me. 

So let's all say "alhamdulillah!" and mean it. 

Ma salaama ya'll. :-)  

On being a working mom

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. As you know I've joined the ranks of millions of other American women: I am a single working mother, struggling to pay the bills, spend time with my children, deal with the enormous amount of guilt I voluntarily shoulder, and trying to balance it all out. Add to that being a striving Muslimah with marriage plans and you have a recipe for overload.

I hate it. I love it. Does that make sense? I feel sooo grateful to Allah swt that He lead me to this job. I feel grateful I can support my daughter and myself. It's nice to be useful and respected in a workplace, most of us like to have the support and comraderie of our colleagues.

I hate it. I hate leaving Aaminah (even though with friends!) for me to go out to work. I cried when she said, "I don't like mamas to work. I don't need you to buy me clothes or food!". Subhanallah. How children, as always, distill a thing to its purest essence.

My stance has not changed: mothers should raise their children. Sometimes we can't. :-( But we should and we should do everything in our power to be there for them. Sisters, please, I am not judging you. I am simply looking at how Allah swt created us. Who carries and bears the baby? The woman. Who historically looks after, nurtures, and teaches it? The woman. Fathers have their place, they are just as invaluable but in a different way.

We are told heaven is at the feet of your mother. Not because she worked and slaved in the outside world to put food on the table or clothes on your back (although if she did that as well you dang well better be loving on her now!!!!) but because she carried us in hardship and bore us in pain and raised us and taught us and loved us. Unconditionally.

So maybe some of us didn't get that but nowhere does Allah say "Respect your mothers if they were perfect". We are instructed to treat them with respect and be obedient as long as they do not ask us to do the haram. Khalas. That's it.

I'm hoping my children, despite my myriad of faults and all the times I haven't been there to "make it all better", will love and respect me. I pray they will make dua for me after I am dead and beseech Allah for mercy, forgiveness and Jannat-al-fidous for me, amin! I pray they can forgive my shortcomings and know that, no matter what, my heart was with them even when I myself wasn't.

And I pray for Allah swt to bless my provisions, help me maintain a grateful and humble spirit, and allow me to again be a full-time mama to my little sweetie. Amin!!!

I'm baaaaaack!

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll! Wow, I've been on quite a break. :-) Welll a lot has happened since we last "spoke", dear readers, so let me catch ya'll up.

I am in my apartment alhamdulillah. Actually moved in the weekend before Christmas which was really difficult to get everything settled but alhamdulillah it did (somehow!) all fall into place. Oh wait I think a list is in order, otherwise I'll forget. OK so here we :

1. Moved into apartment. Yeah, touched on that. ;-) Aaminah and I are officially in our own place. We have been SOOOO blessed to have such lovely friends who allowed us to stay with them and treated us like their own families. Well better actually ;-) lol. We really tried to be good houseguests and were clean and neat and helpful but it was still, I am sure, a huge stress on the 2 families which housed us. May Allah swt shower His blessings on them, amin!

2. I got internet. Alhamdulillah! Ya'll know I like to stay in-touch so this was really important for me. However I had some issues getting the cable guy out to "git-er-done" so a very helpful friend (thanks!!!!) suggested I try tethering my mobile phone to use it as a mobile hot-spot. Worked a charm! However in US this isn't free (wouldn't you know!) so I am paying an extra $15 a month but that is so much less than normal internet (like half-price) and so far, my connection is great. In this corner anyway but alhamdulillah.

3. Which brings us to money which brings us to my job. :-) Alhamdulillah. I was working babysitting for the sister but it was not enough money. Now I am working as an office manager for a tax office (a brother owns it masha'allah) and he had no issue with how I dress. I have been in charge of training new-hires (well everyone as it's a new office) and getting the office up and running for tax season. Subhanallah it's been quite a task but I do have experience. I worked at H&R Block for 3 tax seasons as a receptionist and accouting assistant and also did taxes on the sly on the side ;-) for the past 2 years in Massachusetts.

I am salaried which means during the busiest time (from now til Feb. 20th) I'll be working 7 days a week, 10 hours a day (minimum). I am of course not happy about that but agreed as the brother really needs my help and I need the money. So for that time period the money isn't awesome per-hour but later I get a 2 week paid vacation :-) (wonder where UofA will be headed?????) and then I will only work 25 to 30 hours a week through the remainder. So no, it isn't permanent (it's taxes, ya'll) but it's sooo helpful. Insha'Allah He blesses my provisions and allows me to do everything that is needful with it, amin.

4. My stuff. Oh my goodness. This is an entire post in it's own but to be frank, I'm tired of the drama. We hired movers, you see, to move my stuff from MA to TN. I went online, got several quotes from one website and went with the lowest. They arrived to get my things and, after loading it all, informed A that he had to pay another $1000. Yes not a typo, an extra $1000. Of course we didn't have it nor did we intend to pay it. They said I had too much stuff.

Yeah fair enough, I can see I wasn't as thorough as I should have been in recounting my apartment contents but not on purpose. I had given them a list of what to pack. So I aksed the driver, what happened to my list? And he said, oh I packed all the extra THEN packed the list stuff. Uh huh. So I said ok take off what wasn't on my list and he said can't it's behind all your other stuff and I'm not doing it.

OK. So I tell him to unload the truck and leave everything. He flat refuses and tells me he is taking my stuff to a warehouse in New Jersey and I'll have to speak with the business owners.

This was December 15th. Subhanallah. Finally I agreed to pay the extra but I couldn't get it how they wanted; they decided cash only and I refused as there is no way to trace that and they have been so fraudulent. They refused to take a credit card. Wha...???? They took it for the deposit so what's up now???

Anyway I talk to the lady once a week approx and I tell her the same thing, I'm willing to pay your extra amount but $650 on credit card and $350 cash when it's delivered. She keeps putting me off. All of my personal effects, furniture, my clothes even, are there. I've bee living off the 2 abaya I brought for my 2 week visit in September. Subhanallah. I try not to stress about it because I can literally do nothing. The government entity which oversaw this was closed (guess so they could put more FBI agents in masajid) so there is literally 1 person to field complaints.

For the entire US. Subhanallah.

Anyway please make dua I get my things soon. We are sleeping on a futon (ouch!) and have no furniture. Alhamdulillah a kind sister did give me an old recliner so I am not sitting to type. :-) All my clothes and Aaminahs, winter coats and gloves and boots for her, all in storage. Subhanallah. These people are crooks. So beware East and West Movers from Hoboken, New Jersey.

OK so I'm really tired. I wanted to include pics of my new place but tooo exhausted. Insha'allah next time.

Note to self: please dont sit in a moveable rocker/recliner when typing. Your vertigo WILL kick in. :-)

Love, me.

Nationalism and Islam

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. So this question started floating around in my head a bit today. What does it mean to be American? How do we define that? Does it mean our blood flows red, white and blue? Does it mean we strive to uphold the ideals of "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness"?

I don't think it means any of that. To be American means, simply, that you were born in this country. There are millions of Americans incarcerated; untold numbers who are pedophiles, child abusers, drunkards, and wife-beaters. There are red-blooded Americans who still believe in apartheid on the most basic level and would see the majority of our population ruled by the very distinct minority. (Oh wait, it already is, my bad. LOL).

Please, before my detractors get all riled up, I believe there are many more good, kindhearted, open-minded people in America than there are from the above groups. I am just making a point. :-)

So if by definition, being American simpy means you were born into this society/culture or accepted as a citizen (after testing and payments and hardships, btw) what is there to be so proud about?

Mahatma Ghandi (among others) said, "A nation's greatness is measured by how it treats it's weakest members". If we look at the track record of almost any nation that was ever in existence and judge them by this standard, it would be disheartening to say the least. None should be "proud" to be called from any nation.

This is why in Islam we are taught to turn from nationality and turn to Allah. To turn to the teachings of our prophets and messengers, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon them all! We are encouraged to love and want for our brother or sister what we want for ourselves. To love what Allah loves and hate what He hates.

Even in the last sermon of our beautiful Prohet Muhammad (saws) he said:

"All mankind is from Adam and Huwa, an Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab nor a non-Arab has any superiority over an Arab; also a white has no superiority over black nor a black has any superiority over white except by piety and good action. Learn that every Muslim is a brother to every Muslim and that the Muslims constitute one brotherhood.

How beautiful, how clear are these words, these commands. We are to feel NO superiority over another unless it is in our good deeds and piety. Which, btw, a Mu'min never feels he is pious enough nor good enough in his deeds. As Cap'n recently related to me:

"He (Imam Malik) was the man about whom Ash-Shafi’ee said, 'When scholars are mentioned, Malik is like the star among them.' Malik said that he did not sit to give Fatwa, before 70 of the Madina scholars first witnessed to his competence in doing so."

Subhanallah, Imam Malik, who had more knowledge than you or I can comprehend, refused to consider himself knowledgeable, a scholar, a shaykh, until 70 of his peers felt him to be so. Just a little dose of reality for you all, my friends. :-)

It is narrated by Abu Da’wud that the Messenger of Allah (saaw) said:

“He is not one us who calls for ..Asabiyyah, (nationalism/tribalism) or who fights for ..Asabiyyah or who dies for ..Asabiyyah.”

This does not mean we cannot be proud of the good actions of our country. If you live in a place where Muslims are accepted and allowed to practice freely, be proud of that. If you happen to be of a certain ancestry and you like to learn about your history or past customs, there is no problem. What this hadith means is that we do not place our nationalism ahead of our religion. (Even the sahaba had names which indicated their country of ancestry such as Salman Al-Farsi for example.)

"My prayers and sacrifice, my life and death are all for Allah, Lord of all the Worlds" (Qur'an 6:162). There is no clearer injunction that our lives, in totality, are to be lived for the glory of Allah swt.

So we can see as Muslims we are to turn away from nationalism, to be proud only of the good deeds we do FI SABILILLAH. I wish more people in this world, non-Muslims and Muslim alike, would strive to be good people, not good nationalists.

Ma salaama ya'll.

Introducing the newest member...

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. Sorry I just can't get into the hang of updating again. Before, I had a very ordered life and writing was a very important outlet for me. Now I feel like I stay busier but in happier ways (not as frantic as before) and my desire to write has dropped off by the wayside.

By the way, if any of ya'll are staticians, you would see this correlates nicely with my "love" life by which I mean married life. :-) When I am single I am so busy taking care of EVERYTHING I don't have the luxury of sitting around, thinking about the world's problems. :-) Once that area of my life gets settled, I always have much more free time.

And what is your status, UofA? Well now isn't that the million dollar question. I hate hate hate hate hate (ok not really so strongly) when people suggest and hint at things but never spill the beans so to speak. So I shall endeavor to keep my openness and transparency alive and well.

I can't say. :-))

Oh that's funny. OK yes alhamdulillah I am engaged. I am not asking for advice or support in this issue, dear readers. It's done and dusted as the English say and I'm all set (my nod to Massachusetts speak).  I have made my selection carefully and will, in due course, update you all. I thank my reader who very sincerely have her advice that I concentrate on my daughter and my life, finding a way to support ourselves sans husband.

I've done that, for most of my life actually. I've never been married long enough to feel stable alhamdulillah. I no longer feel like I have to prove anything, to myself or the rest of the world. As a Muslim woman, I am entitled to have a husband or other mahrem who will take care of myself and Aaminah. But sisters, I do not mean simply financially. I mean emotional support. That kind that comes from the male of our species. :-) Someone to hold my hand and kiss my forehead, someone to take bugs out of the house *s* and to snuggle up with when watching a movie.

More importantly, someone to grow in my deen with, to encourage and be encouraged, to love and honor and respect, to have someone to take care of again. Oh how I miss that! Yes I take care of little Aaminah and others but it's just... different with your husband. It fulfills a part of me and makes me indescribably happy. Making that post-fajr tea or preparing a favorite dish; what can I say, I am a nurturer to the nth degree and I am happy being this way. :-)

However in the past I have nurtured others and ignored myself. I will definitely be looking for more balance this time, someone who can baby and be babied and yes, sisters, I need that too. To be treated sweetly, like a glass vessel masha'Allah. How perfect is all of Allah's creation and how beautifully he has made us for one another. I still trust and believe in this sisters, despite it all, because of it all. :-)

I love my sisters in Islam, I love my community, I love my family, my children. I am blessed beyond compare but I, like so many others, want what I do not have. For me, my holy grail is a good marriage, stable, with a loving, kind, funny, affectionate, practicing brother. I have amended my definition a bit as I have gotten older of what makes a great husband. I use to want the whole package; how tiring, looking for something that doesn't exist. :-) I cannot be everything, I can just be me. I can't expect more than that of my brothers, now can I?

So what am I doing different this time? Personal references baby from someone who reallly knows the person. It's very nice for the imam to give a good reference as I got for A but that doesn't really tell you what the person is like outside of the masjid, in a home setting, when we are bad-tempered or sick. So my very best friend Um Bilal is married and her husband is a wondeful person masha'Allah. His best friend of 13+ years was introduced to me and I am pleased to say that the brother has been everything I was told he was.

Now, here is where the full-disclosure ends. Abu B's friend is a very private sort of person. I have of course already directed him to my blog to find out how I feel about everything from refrigerated hashbrowns to matters of our ummah. So he is aware I have this space and I write in it. After marriage, my content might change depending on what he is comfortable with. Of course I am hoping certain things will still be ok with him but as I've never been particularly private I definitely want to make him comfortable.

I do however, have a photo of him I snapped today that I would love to share. Enjoy!

Yes it's not really him, my new man isn't made from legos. :-) But he is a pirate (we'll call him Cap'n) and he is from the Caribbean and other than that, I must keep mum. Insha'allah post wedded-bliss, we will see what transpires. I hope to keep you all updated on my life and times, my sads and happies and always always always my striving to be a better muslimah, wife, mother, friend and human being. :-)