Moving to Tunisia, Part II

Some old-school baggage!

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. Soooo about moving overseas. I realized I forgot a reallllly important thing: what to pack and what NOT to pack.

What did you take that you ended up thinking, daaaang you were a waste of space? What did you NOT bring that you really wished you had of thought to pack? I want to be frugal in what we ship over.

1. I really want to bring alot of Aaminah's books and toys, enough so that I am willing to pay freight. Do ya'll think that's necessary in your experience?

2. What about personal products? Anything you can't get overseas that you miss?

3. Food stuffs? Just your thoughts, again.

4. I am thinking of bringing an e-reader. Any ideas on which ones work overseas (for purchasing books)? Anyone overseas currently using one? If so, which?

Any other information/ideas/what to do or not to do, I would really appreciate it!

Ma salaama...

Moving to Tunisia?

Very traditional Tunisian building with blue doors

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. A applied for his citizenship in 2007. Alhamdulillah he finally received notice it had been denied. Yes, denied. After waiting over THREE years. Subhanallah. He was admitted as a refugee in 2002 and apparently a translator mis-interpreted (literally!) one of his responses. Which had no material benefit to him, btw. Now he is considering, seriously, moving back to Tunisia. Where does that leave me, the southern muslimah?

That leaves me moving to Tunisia with my husband, that's where. It's a difficult decision in some ways; missing my sons, my country, my language. As most of ya'll know, Arabic and French are the two main languages there. My husband's family also speaks Arabic and French but hardly any of them speak English, especially not fluently. Hmmmm. I like to talk. I can see an issue. :-)

OK I think I'll resort my to listing the pros and cons. Which isn't really that helpful because of course, wherever my husband goes, I will follow insha'Allah.

Let's list the good points first. I like to be positive. These are in no particular order, btw.

1. Aaminah will insha'Allah become fluent in Arabiy. Big plus!

2. I have always had this restlessness in me, this drive to travel, see more, do more. I think living in North Africa will be exciting in many ways.

3. I will no longer be solely responsible for my stepchildren. This is a big relief to me in many ways, may Allah forgive me. It's been trying for me and I would be happy to have more of an aunt-like role with them.

4. I will insha'Allah be able to forge true relationships with my new family overseas.

5. Insha'allah I'll be able to learn Arabiy myself and also take many different classes.

6. I can be involved in dawah efforts as this is a huge interest of my husband's.

7. I'll have more free time to pursue things which I enjoy and also just to spend with Aaminah.

8. We'll have a true home with room to grow and have some privacy.

9. Easy to find Islamic clothing. OK sounds flimsy but it IS nice to not search high and low for modest clothes. :-)

10. Being in a Muslim-majority country where you don't have to explain what Eid is or why you fast Ramadhan. Oh so many reasons!

11. My husband would be so happy to be home again.

12. Paring down and living more simply. See #7 below for the con of this. lol


So here are the less-than-idea points:

1. Lack of privacy. Not sure if our house is connected to the "big" house or not. I think there would be communal meals, etc. Which would mean my husband sitting with the men and me with the women. I wouldn't like that.

2. Missing my family and my country. Also my freedom. It just won't be the same overseas as it is here (duh) and I would miss a lot of what I take for granted.

3. Language barrier. Yeah. India was difficult as I only had Abu Aaminah to communicate with for 6 weeks. And he was with me 24/7 for those 6 weeks. Not looking forward to it.

4. Healthcare. As ya'll know I have health issues that require hospitalizations and lots of medications.

5. Food. I am weird about milk, cheese, and meat. I can forsee a vegetarian future for me. Waaaaah!

6. Not sure if I would be driving and if it's similar to here.

7. Going through all our stuff and getting rid of sooo much. It will be hard and a little difficult for me to part with sentimental things; an antique wooden trunk, a favorite platter, handmade momentos. Ya can't take it all!

8. Not living in the green hill/valley/lake/river/woods/stream landscape. THIS will be difficult.
I know many of these can be put to rest by more talking between me and A. We have only spoken about it in general terms so far and these are some of the things I've been thinking of that I need to clarify. It's definitely a life change and one I am, despite the possible issues, looking forward to. At least for a year or so, long term.... I just don't know how I will fit in.

Any of my sisters who have made hijrah/moved overseas, please share some of your most trying AND most rewarding experiences. Jazakum Allahu khair!!!

A day at the library and blog privacy

Outside the library. She found a stick! :-)

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll! We have a great little library here in Hudson. The kids section is awesome, there are lots of imagination-inspiring toys such as puppets, a kitchen, "little buddies" (what Aaminah calls the guinea pigs!), a magnet-track track and multi-cultural doll house are just some of the objects for play. I don't take Aaminah as often as I should however; just kinda get caught up in the daily routine.

What girl doesn't need a pink coupe?

Anyway we went to the library a few weeks ago and I wanted to share the pics with you. Oh right, I wanted to touch on this issue. A couple of beautiful sisters I "know" through the blogosphere have posted recently about their thoughts regarding online privacy and photos. I totally respect their decisions as well as their reasoning. Both sisters are against showing their photos and especially those of their children online. Here's my take:

Obviously I do post pictures here. Yes, I will admit I am proud of my children but that isn't why I show their photos. I just love to share my life with others. When I was a new Muslimah I reallllly wanted to know how Muslims, typical Muslim families, lived. What they were like, what did they eat, how did they spend their spare time. Yeah it might sound crazy but believe me there is a lot of interest in this. :-)

Aaminah talking to the little buddy.

I also love developing relationships with other Muslimahs who live near and far. When I see a glimpse of their world, and they of mine, it makes me feel closer. Also my Muslim sisters who live far away can keep up with Aaminah here; I don't have the energy to make a separate blog!!! ;-) Abu Aaminah (her biological father, NOT to be confused with A, her Baba!) has this blog address so he has the option to view her photos and accomplishments.

She realllly loves the guinea pigs!

As far as safety issues are concerned I am not worried about any repercussions from showing photos online. We go places; the bank, the library ;-), the grocery store. I have actually had someone snap my pic before with their camera phone. :-( Yeah, right? I didn't say anything because I couldn't be 100% sure but from the way they were staring, whispering, laughing, and pointing and clicking in my direction... yeah. lol Pretty sure.

Everyone loves bead toys!

Anyway I guess my point is that we do not live sheltered lives. We go places where unfortunately there are probably sick, diseased individuals. We know from the media they exist even where we don't expect; in churches, in schools, in hospitals. Even in Muslim-majority countries, authubillah. I don't have to go into details, we all know the horrific things which can happen.

One sister pointed out she tried to protect her photos and yeah, it's almost impossible. Plus time-consuming. I don't like the idea someone might take my photos (especially of my family) and do something... unsavory with them. However, I don't feel I am endangering myself or my family by posting them.

Love her little fake smile. lol

May Allah protect us all from the shaitaan and the evils in this world, amin. 

WTHeck? 2nd post of the day

I don't think so... read below, and you'll see why!!! LOL

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. I noticed my stat counter steadily creeping upwards (thanks all my readers!) so I decided to check out my blog stats.

One random observation: any of my fellow bloggers ever feel a bit, um I dunno, surprised when you noticed someone came to your blog, didn't stay, and didn't return??? I'm like, Oh come back, there's lots of good stuff here. I mean, if you are Muslim, if you are a Mom, if you like to cook and wear hijab/abaya/khimar... lol  I guess I do just "speak" to a certain percentage of the population and my blog won't be for everyone.

Anyway the reason for my WTHeck post is this: I looked at some of the searches people do that land them on my blog. oh.my.word.  Ummm I don't know what to say!!!! Weird to say these least; here is a sampling:

1. Boobs sticking out in abaya. This landed them on my "fashion schizophrenia" post. I don't know HOW the keyword "boobs" got them there but it did. Weird.

2. Flirting with niquab (sic). After typing this gem they went to my "Niqab a personal dilemma" post. I don't think they got the advice they were seeking. LOL

3. Pakistani cute girls. Oh peachy. Weirdos.

4. Cute Syrian Men. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but pret-ty sure I never blogged about THAT in my life! LOL Especially not on my "If I were a ____ I'd be..." post.

I'll pray someone stops by someday, while looking for something not on my blog, and my little place here makes them think a little more about Islam and what it means to be a Muslim in today's society. Insha'Allah perhaps someone, somewhere will leave a little more enlightened, a little less weighed down by bigotry and misconceptions. Or at least stop searching for freaky things like boobs in abayaat or flirting in niqab.

A girl can dream, can't she? :-))

The story of what was:

My Daddy used to sit outside and now Aaminah loves it too! She will pull her chair outside and sit, quietly, for 20+ minutes. Masha'Allah!!!

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. I was going through my "drafts" folder of posts that never made it, and I found this one. I think it's funny. At the time, I was afraid it sounded morose but honestly, it was just some observations I made which humbled me somewhat. Enjoy. :-)

*I used to be a creative, exciting mother... when I only had one child.
*I was a housewife extraordinaire.... when I lived at home without a husband.
*I was a Top Chef... until I had to cook nightly for a crew of 6
*I used to keep a clean home, always company-worthy... until I had 4 kids at home 24/7
*I was always on top of the laundry... now it's on top of me. Literally, a small pile fell off the back of my chair and landed on my head. :-/
*I had visions of grandeur... now I just have visions. Well my special doctor calls them delusions but that's just splitting hairs. LOL

OK so please don't comment telling me to love myself, blah blah blah. Problem is, I do. So does A hence my gradual decline into the keeper of a wild game preserve/slovenly hovel. :-) So it's really not that bad (on most days) but daaaaang, it's getting on me nerves. I've decided to become more proactive, get back on top of all my little piles...

Just as soon as I finish this post. :-D lol Ma salaama ya'll and nighty night!"

.............................................................................................................................................

That is where I ended the draft post. It was a few months ago. Any changes you ask? Hmm kinda. Actually there is a tiny pile of FOLDED laundry (which doesn't really count!) on the back of the loveseat. In my defense, Hafsa brought some clothes from the dryer out last night and unceremoniously dumped them half on the empty cushion, half on me. I had no choice but to fold some clothes. :-) However I wasn't in the putting-away clothes mood so there is still a small stack of tiny pajamas for my little pumpkin that need to be put up.

Just as soon as I finish this post. :-))

Ahhhh procrastination. Gotta love it. Anyone else have "hotspots" in their house? This is what FlyLady calls it; btw my experiment with her was short-lived. It was just too intense. Anyway I did take that lesson to heart. I have 3 hotspots: a) a useless little psuedo-counter between the kitchen/living room, b) the top of our dresser and c) the recliner in our room. Actually I take no responsibility for the recliner having become an extension of our closet. We are crammed into this apartment and there just isn't room!

When I am sick, in the hospital, masha'Allah the kids did laundry but instead of folding it nicely they put it, UNFOLDED, on my recliner in my room. Hmmmm. So now I just have to rewash the whole lot, they are so wrinkled. Ah what are ya gonna do???

I periodically clean off the qasi-counter but it piles up. Everyday. No joke. Every kid that passes by lays something there. A will put his keys, work papers, wallet there. I lay down mail... it's a procrastinator's paradise! Insha'allah I'll get right on it.

As soon as I finish this post. :-))

It seems my to-do list is growing by the paragraph. Maybe I should stop here before I get too committed. lol My sister just left yesterday, we had the BEST time. It was so nice masha'Allah. Aaminah already misses her and her endless affection and attention. Really we are blessed to have her in our lives. Anyway, I was saying, she just left yesterday and Aaminah is under the weather, cold or allergies, stopped up nose, no appetite. Awww poor baby. So we are extending our weekend by a day to regroup ourselves.

Since my rejection episode I am much more easily tired than before. I did lose some function and as I am very in-tune with my body I can feel the difference. Alhamdulillah and insha'allah I will get some of my sins erased for the hardships I endure patiently in this life. Amin!!!!!

OK I'm just gonna stop here. I am jumping all over the place today and making one mish-mash of a blog post. Insha'Allah I'll do a proper one tonight. Ma salaama ya'll!!!!!

My sister

My family: Dad, Janet, Mom, Boddy and me (the "baby")

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. If you've read any of my blog you know by now that I miss my family and friends in Tennessee. My sister is one of my best friends and of course I miss her very much! She is 8 years older than me and has always been a rock in my foundation; the person who loved me regardless and always supported me. She is the most amazing woman. Period.

She was always my role model for what a mother and wife should be. Loving, supportive, encouraging, and there. Yes there. She made her family her priority and stayed at home for as long as she could when her children were little. They were always her anchor.

My sister with her daughter, Whitney. Beautiful women!

Welllll my sis is here for a visit right now. Yay me!!!! She flew up on Friday and has to go back on Monday. It's too short but I am grateful for every minute! Yesterday we just sat around and caught up, had some nice fresh fish at Coral Seafood (a locally reknowned seafood eatery) and played with Aaminah.

Today we went with Aaminah to see "Tangled" the newish animate film about Rapunzel. I really liked it but of course as a Muslim would have wished it didn't talk so much about magic. Aaminah was entranced! This was her second time going to a "big girl" movie and of course now she is 6 months older and just adored it! On the way home she basically went over the entire plot and even reminded us of things we had forgotten. :-) Masha'Allah she is amazing!

I wish I had the pics my sis snapped but she hasn't uploaded them yet. :-) I don't think I've laughed this much in a long time. It's been really good for me. I had told my step-kids that I wouldn't be here much this weekend because I'd be with my sis and that we wouldn't be bring them places with us. Ya'll have to realize, here in MA I am with my family 24/7. Unless I skip out to the store by myself. :-)

I have no free time, no friends time, no friends here really. We don't live near other Muslims and I've just not clicked with the sisters here although masha'Allah I have met some very nice ones. I just don't really have the time to cultivate new friendships. I'm busy with my home and family. However I do miss adult companionship sometimes so it's made my sister's visit even sweeter!!!!

She has so much life!

Aaminah has stayed with my sister for the past 2 nights. :-) Granted it's only 2 doors down from our apartment but I'm proud of her! I miss her little face in the morning but I know in another couple of days she'll be only my little love bug again. For now, I am happy to share!

Oh my sis cut my hair too! It's super long but in a bit of a "v" shape because I would try to trim it myself and botched it. Everytime. :-) So she took my hair cutting scissors and used the pizza box leftover from dinner as a "straight edge" to guide her. lol Alhamdulillah she did a good job and it didn't cost me a dime. Masha'allah!

I will hate to see her leave. As most of ya'll know we lost our father this past Oct after having been estranged (but without hard feelings) for 20 years. (He lived in another state and just isn't the type to keep up communications. He wasn't reliable but we knew he loved us, in his manner.) Anyway the next brother closest to his age (and the most like him, physically and personality wise) just died last month. I think my sister was really starting to miss me.

As a Muslimah I have a different outlook. I already know this life is short and we are not here for fun and games. I have this knowledge with me daily. I think for her it's a bit of a wake-up call although she isn't by any means careless about the blessings in her life. She just doesn't really stop to consider where they come from.

At any rate, it's been a great visit! I will hate it when she leaves but enjoy here while she's here. I thought I'd post a few random facts about my sis below so you can get to "know" her too. :-)

My sis, Janet

1. Family is her anchor.

2. She is going to do a 1/2 marathon next week insha'Allah. That's 13 miles! It's also a qualified for the Boston Marathon (26 miles) but I don't think she is interested in that!

3. She wrote a short story last year and is working on a novel this year. :-) She also does photography.

With some of her work at an exhibition.

4. She loves to kayak and will go to the lake in the early morning to kayak, write in her journal, and relax.

5. I don't think she has a vindictive or malicious bone in her entire body.

6. My sister's laugh is contagious. ;-)

This is my sister. :-)

7. She hasn't finished her college degree but has been promoted in her job (she's been there for over 15 years!) from receptionist to implementation co-ordinator. This is by dint of her personality, drive, and intelligence.

8. Janet is the nice one. :-)

9. She makes great country fried steak. Yum!

10. My sister loves costume jewelry and look awesome in it.

11. We once drove 13 hours to Dayton Beach, stayed one day, and came back home. We were in our 30s btw. lol

12. My sister is indefatiguable. She is like the energizer bunny and can organize and clean like nobody's "bidness". :-D

13. When she wrote a 3 page letter to me, telling me I was her hero, I cried. I'll cry now thinking about it.

OK there is sooo much more but I am exhausted. We might go to the beach tomorrow so she can experience it in the winter/cold spring time.

Ma salaama!

"Beautiful Things"

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. This is one of my favorite poems from way back in the day. :-) I had a huge anthology of poetry which I pored over; I loved reading it. I was probably 13 at the time and this poem has always stuck with me. I think this is absolutely how every woman of faith should judge her beauty. I was inspired to post this by Sis Aisha's post on her blog.

Beautiful Things

Beautiful faces are those that wear–
It matters little if dark or fair–
Whole-souled honesty printed there.

Beautiful eyes are those that show,
Like crystal panes where hearth-fires glow,
Beautiful thoughts that burn below.

Beautiful lips are those whose words
Leap from the heart like songs of birds,
Yet whose utterance prudence girds.

Beautiful hands are those that do
Work that is earnest and brave and true,
Moment by moment the long day through.

Beautiful feet are those that go
On kindly ministries to and fro,
Down lowliest ways if God wills it so.

Beautiful shoulders are those that bear
Ceaseless burdens of homely care,
With patient grace and daily prayer.

Beautiful twilight at set of sun,
Beautiful goal with race well won,
Beautiful rest with work well done.

Beautiful graves where grasses creep,
Where brown leaves fall, where drifts lie deep,
Over worn-out hands! Ah, beautiful sleep.

–Ellen P. Allerton


I remember always wishing I had the delicate hands with fine-boned, tapering fingers but alas, like you Sr. Aisha, I am from hardy peasant stock (birthin' hips and all! lol).

Then, amazingly, after the birth of my first child, my media-skewed opinion of myself changed. I saw a photo of me holding Zachary, my firstborn. It was an artsy-angle kinda pic (the boys' dad is an artist) and it showed my hands, my strong capable hands.

No they weren't holding an orchid or stroking a piece of gossamer silk :-). They were holding my baby, close and loving. They were holding his bottle, feeding him as my body could not. Since then I've had great respect for my hands, my capable, less-than-dainty, loving, caring, hard-working hands masha'Allah!