August 11, 2010

Ramadhan journal: day #1

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. I am thinking about keeping an online Ramadhan journal here. We'll see if I keep up with it. Of course, liberally sprinkled throughout with random musings and other miscellany. :-)

I have thought of a theme song for my Ramadhan. You know the theme song to "Good Times" the sitcom showcasing the lives of a black family living in an inner city ghetto? JJ and Florida the mom and their dad James, etc. Dynomite? :-) Well there's a part that says, "Keepin' my head above water...." and I think that is appropriate. lol

I have so many more responsibilities now than this time last year. It isn't overwhelming but close to it sometimes. Let's see... I know, I'll put it in list format!

1. I am now responsible for 6 people. Their food, clothing, clean home; I am cook, housekeeper, nurse, and peacekeeper. :-) It's a change.

2. I am married, living in a different state, far from family and friends.

3. Did I mention I take care of 4 kids??? lol

4. I am now a full-time college student. Getting ready to be busier!

So anyway I've made MAJOR life changes in the past year alhamdulillah. I am still adjusting to some of them but with the help of Allah swt I am confident I can overcome my challenges.

Our suhoor and iftar were really simple masha'Allah. For suhoor we had fried egg sandwiches (I had a piece of the german chocolate cake I made the night before) and milk. A just had a bowl of cereal; he's a light eater but insha'allah I can get him to take in more fluids and protein in the morning.

For iftar we had shorba (Tunisian soup with a variety of grated vegetables, cilantro, a couple of chicken thighs... really basic and simple), nice crusty rolls, a lovely salad, and a little bit of left-over homemade chilli chicken. It was pretty light and nice. Oh to break our fast initially we had tammar (dates), bananas, and apples. I just wanted to drink!

I am not required to fast because of my kidney disease but I realllly don't want to miss out. It's that feeling of being one with the rest of our ummah, sharing in this hardship, working for the pleasure of Allah. Insha'allah I will be fine and no worries; last year didn't affect me at all alhamdulillah.

So how would I rate my Ramadhan so far? I give myself a C. Minus. :-( I haven't done any extra ibadah, I haven't read Qur'an, and I got reallllly angry at an arrogant doctor who treated Zainab rudely. This is another post in itself but he was past believing... I lost my temper with the kids for yelling and running around and felt soooo tired by Asr I wanted to pass out.

It's good though I have this blog so I stop and take stock. I can look back and say, hmm let's do it differently tomorrow. Insha'allah I will. Please make du'a for me sisters; I feel I am not as worshipful as I once was. My mind is constantly on the logistics of running a big family and I am afraid I am losing sight on the big picture.

Let's pray we all make use of this beautiful blessings called Ramadhan, to better ourselves and draw closer to Allah.

Ma salaama!

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