August 20, 2010
Ramadhan journal: Day 10
A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. The pic above might give you an indication of where this post is going. :-) BTW I think it's super cute. lol
I went to the doctor today and had my kidney levels checked. My creatnine (a level checked to show kidney function) was elevated to 1.6 which in a healthy person would mean I was at stage 3 (of 5) chronic renal failure. For a transplant patient, it isn't so static a definition and we don't expect truly great things. :-) Just a chance at life, to be active, somewhat normal, maybe even live to see our children grow. INSHA'ALLAH!!!
Anyway I was told to cease and desist with the fasting. OK I can cope. But really I feel like a failure. I KNOW it's the qadr of Allah. I KNOW I am supposed to take care of my body. I KNOW it's a mercy from ALLAH and I should just be grateful... but I feel like a loser, a quitter, a big weinee poo poo head.
OK enough whining. Insha'allah I will still find benefit in this Ramadhan but really, I will miss that feeling of oneness with our ummah.